These three types of parents are prone to raising their children as "enemies", especially the third type, be careful

Text/Ting's mother

A few days ago, I met with my good friend Qiulan, sat down to eat and drink together, and I felt like I was back in the past.

Chatting and chatting inevitably about children, Qiulan said that her son Bozai is now taller than her and has a very bad temper, she doesn't dare to talk about him at all, for fear that she can't help but beat him. If she really wants to do it, she is no longer her son's opponent.

Qiulan is usually very busy at work, leaving early and returning late every day. However, she is more strict with her children, requiring them to score more than 90 points in each exam. If you don't do it, you may face criticism.

Her husband usually doesn't spend much time with the children, especially in the past year, when her husband went to work in other places, but he came back on weekends and holidays, so he had no time to spend with the children.

I have also seen Qiulan's son Bozai, a thin and small child who wears a pair of glasses, usually doesn't talk much, and looks like a Sven.

But Qiulan said that Bo Zai's temper was not good at all, and once he was playing with his classmates at school, injured his classmates, and was called his parents.

This is really something I didn't expect.

In fact, in the long history of parent-child education, the role of parents and the way of education have a profound impact on children's growth. It's hard to say that Bo Tsai is not now under the influence of Qiu Lan.

When it comes to educating children, not all of our education methods are positive and effective.

Some parents' specific behaviors and attitudes not only do not help their children form a healthy psychology and personality, but may unconsciously raise offspring who are estranged or even hostile to them.

The following are the types of parents who may raise their children as "enemies", especially the third type, which deserves all parents' vigilance and reflection.

Category 1: "Over-spoiled" type

This type of parent has no boundaries for their children's love, and they often unconditionally meet all their children's needs, both material and emotional. This kind of education is easy for children to develop self-centered, lack of empathy and sense of responsibility.

When frustrated or unable to get what they want, these children may become angry, blame their parents, and even develop feelings of hatred.

I think most of the children raised by the next generation are this kind of "doting type". No matter what the child asks, the grandparents will do their best to accommodate it. When a child grows up, he may lose his temper with his grandparents because he is not satisfied, completely ignoring the hard work of his grandparents over the years.

Category 2: "Strict control" type

The opposite end of the spectrum is overly strict control. Such parents often have high expectations for their children and regulate their children's every move in a strict or even harsh way.

Children who grow up in such a high-pressure environment may accumulate a lot of resentment and rebellion inside.

I think Qiulan's way of educating his son is this "harsh" type, Bo Zai has been under pressure for a long time, and eventually broke out in strong rebellious behavior during adolescence, and now the relationship with Qiulan has become tense and hostile.

The third category: "neglect and indifference".

Of all types of parents, the most serious are those who ignore and are indifferent to their child's emotional needs.

Such parents may have little active participation and support for their children's development due to personal pressure, personality reasons, or ignorance of parenting knowledge.

Children do not feel the love and attention from their parents, and it is easy for them to feel abandoned, which leads to a deep hatred for their parents.

Many children who are neglected by their parents may be spoiled by their grandparents (grandparents), so such children do not feel cared for by their parents, but grandparents spoil their children excessively, making them willful and selfish.

So, how do you avoid raising your child into an "enemy"?

To avoid such tragedies, we first need to realize that children are independent individuals with their own emotions and needs.

We should learn to listen to children's voices, respect their ideas and choices, and give appropriate guidance and support at critical moments.

At the same time, we should also continue to learn and update our own educational concepts and methods to adapt to the changing society and children's growth needs.

Ting's mother deeply understands this, and in the process of Tingting's growth, I have also encountered many challenges, so I continue to learn: when the child was young, in order to accompany the child to read, I learned the course of picture book lecturer and children's reading instructor, and when Tingting went to primary school, I went to learn the course of positive discipline...... Of course, that's not the point we're going to talk about today.

To get back to the point, in addition to constantly learning and updating one's own educational philosophy, a balanced educational attitude is also very important.

We can neither spoil laissez-faire, nor strict control, but also can not ignore the emotional needs of children, this is actually "positive discipline", it is strongly recommended that parents buy a "positive discipline" book to learn, there are many cases, and at the same time provide solutions, it is a very good parenting book.

By creating a warm, open, supportive home environment that encourages independent thinking and appropriate responsibility, we can help children develop healthy self-esteem, self-confidence, and interpersonal skills.

Summary:

Parents play a vital role in their children's development.

The right way of education can raise children with a healthy mind and good personality, while the wrong way of education can lead to serious consequences.

Therefore, we should reflect on our own education methods to ensure that we do not inadvertently push our children into opposition to ourselves and become "enemies" of each other.

Interactive topic: Are you a "strict controll" parent? Let's talk!

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