Even if two people have the deepest feelings, after entering a dull marriage, the emotions between them will change.
Men, in particular, find it difficult to endure blandness and loneliness, so they will look for some novelty outside of marriage.
Forty-year-old men looking for confidantes outside are nothing more than these reasons.
Ma Yunping, 43, bookstore owner: My wife and I don't have a common language, and we have nowhere to talk about our inner troubles, but we just hope to find someone to talk to.
My wife and I have been married for almost 20 years, and our feelings for each other have long since turned into family affection, and the relationship is very dull.
My wife's daily focus is on how much money she makes, the growth of her children, and she doesn't care about my psychological state.
I don't have a common language with her, and when I talk to her about my hobbies, she doesn't interest at all.
I like to read, I have a bit of sentimentality in my personality, and I want to share my heart with other people, but my wife is not the one I can share.
The long-term depression has made me eager to find a confidante who has common interests and hobbies, and can talk about things of interest together.
Fortunately, I met such a person of the opposite sex, she also likes to read, and we often get together to exchange ideas.
It just so happened that I run a bookstore, and I had a lot of books, and she would come and borrow them in her free time.
When it comes to reading, we have endless words to talk about, which makes me feel like my heart is illuminated.
She understood me perfectly, knew what I was thinking, and that feeling of being recognized was something I had never experienced before.
Staying with her, I felt very relaxed and regained my long-lost youth.
It even made me regret getting married, why did I marry an inappropriate person, which caused my marriage to be so unhappy.
Zhu Huajun, 45 years old, truck driver: My wife is too vulgar, it is not interesting or passionate to stay with her, I want to stay with people who have a common language.
My wife is an uneducated woman, she has no interest at all, and she revolves around the family and children.
The two of us stayed together, and there was nothing else to say except to talk about the children and three meals a day.
She doesn't like to dress herself either, and the clothes she bought more than ten years ago are still being worn, and she is reluctant to add new clothes.
I know she's trying to save money, but it doesn't seem to me to be necessary and just makes me feel like she's not interested.
Living in such a boring state for a long time, I feel that life is meaningless, and I urgently need to find novelty.
No matter who brings this novelty, it will addict me and make me feel that life is real.
She and I met online, chatted online for a while, and then we met.
She and my wife are completely different types, she loves to dress up, she is passionate and bold, and I find it very novel to be with her.
She will bring me a lot of different experiences, which makes me feel that I can still play like this and live a very interesting life.
With her by my side, I left my wife completely behind and even felt that that marriage was a burden for me.
Living with someone you don't like, there is only suitability left in the marriage, without the slightest feeling and passion.
I know that my wife is a traditional good wife, but I have no desire and passion for her, and life is dull.
Su Jianzong, 46 years old, supermarket owner: Men's nature is to be flowery, but whenever life enters a dull period, they will want to find novelty.
In the early years, I was trying to make money and had no other ideas.
But over the years, the economic situation has been much better, and I don't have to work as hard as when I was younger.
The more free time I have, the more I tend to have different feelings, but the ordinary life can't meet my needs, and I urgently need to inject freshness into my life.
At this moment, it only takes a woman to meet and enter life unexpectedly, and her heart will be rippling.
I knew she approached me for a purpose, but I was struck by her tenderness and affection, which my wife could not give me.
With her, she pleases me and gives me a lot of different experiences that fascinate me.
I suddenly felt that she was the person who knew me best and was always able to provide me with emotional value in a timely manner.
Even though her mind is not so pure, the spiritual strength it brings to me makes me feel that it is worth it.
I enjoy spending time with her, and even though we won't be together, even for a while, it can make me feel refreshed.
Men in their forties are eager to find confidantes, in fact, they just want a woman who creates freshness with them, brings them surprise and excitement, and resists the boredom and dullness of life.
When a man over the age of forty looks for a confidant outside of marriage, it is actually all a novelty.
Using confidantes as an excuse is actually just satisfying one's selfish desires and not being able to control one's desires.
Glorifying one's own disloyalty and packaging it as looking for like-minded partners, no matter how disguised it is, cannot change the essence, that is, the fragility of a man's mind.