On the last day of the 69th day, the highest temperature reached 20 degrees, and the lowest temperature had reached above zero.
The sun was shining early in the morning, and the blue sky dissolved a few wilt-like clouds like cotton wool, the breeze, not knowing the direction of the wind, felt slightly cool at first, but it was warm on the face, and the back of the neck wrapped by the thick collar of the down jacket was piercing and sweating.
The willows returned to green, the spring flowers in the sun field have also budded to be released, the house is hot and dry, so I opened the window, faintly heard the cuckoo's call, the call is far away and intermittent, not real, it should not be counted as the season, so I don't know whether this call comes from the ear, or the heart. I didn't realize that most of the year had passed, and I was sad.
My father's 100-day festival fell on the Laba Festival, and the people insisted that they could not go to the grave twice in a month, so they could not pay tribute to him on Chinese New Year's Eve, and I always felt unbearable, but I did not have the courage to disobey because I knew little about folk customs.
Regarding the customs of the New Year's Festival, I didn't have to worry about it, there were always parents in charge, I just had to be obedient and do it, but now that my parents are suddenly not around, I am a little overwhelmed.
When the New Year approached, the fear and confusion in my heart increased day by day, and I prepared the New Year's goods in a mess, and prepared the ingredients for the Chinese New Year's Eve dinner for the three people without logic.
Approaching Chinese New Year's Eve, my mother suddenly suffered from a serious urinary tract infection, the urine was cloudy like millet porridge, slightly red, and the urine routine test results were very unoptimistic.
The three major complications of long-term bed rest, in addition to bedsores can be prevented, urinary tract infections and respiratory tract infections bombard in turn, each time is thrilling, the mother has two colds before, each time it is four or five consecutive days of fever to close to 40 degrees, a hospitalization infusion, a medicine, with the mother's excellent physical fitness when she was young, she has been forced to suppress it.
Urinary tract infections are more stubborn because the urinary catheter is left in place for a long time, and although the bladder is regularly flushed to replace the urinary catheter, there is always a lot of flocculent matter floating in the urine.
My colleague's mother once took out hundreds of stones under the cystoscopy because of this, and once I almost hospitalized my mother because of this, it was the director of the urology department of the central hospital who made a small trick, through long-term oral administration of sodium bicarbonate to alkalize urine, and the condition improved significantly.
The nurse in the nursing home was scared, saying that the urine was too turbid, and that she had been forced to flush her bladder and replace the urinary catheter three times in a row because the urinary catheter was blocked by sediment, and that something would happen if she was not hospitalized. To be honest, I was extremely distrustful of the medical standards of this hospital, and I was even more apprehensive about experiencing that illogical hospitalization.
I decided to try it myself, I bought amoxicillin clavulanate potassium dispersible tablets, and also bought some curvature by the way, the latter is a miracle drug for the treatment of urinary tract infections, commonly known as flat bamboo buds, I remember when I was a child, my grandmother often picked from the mountains to dry and soak in water to drink, not only the treatment of urinary tract infections has a miraculous effect, the taste of fragrance is also delicious.
Maybe it's because the medicine is symptomatic, or maybe my mother took the old book of good health when she was young again, and the urine slowly became clear on the day of taking the medicine, and the low-grade fever also subsided, I know that my mother has passed another hurdle this time.
How to celebrate the New Year, everything can only be discussed with my younger brother, my mother wanted to take home from the nursing home for the New Year, but after thinking about it, I still gave up, the old house was not heated at all this year, and took it back to our home, because my mother couldn't take care of herself at all, even if she made an air mattress, she had to turn over every two hours, and she needed to take medicine and feed and play insulin on time, and we really didn't have the energy to take care of it - these, my father almost insisted on himself for three years.
On Chinese New Year's Eve, the younger brother took advantage of the day before to bathe his mother, change his new clothes, and bring some fresh fruit to feed her—which can almost only be done perfectly by the strong, patient, and meticulous brother.
Early on Chinese New Year's Eve, I brought my wife and daughter to visit my mother, who was surprisingly good in spirit for the past few days, not only no longer sleeping all day, but also glaring, taking the initiative to talk to us, and even calling the names of visiting relatives and friends.
The daughter took her grandmother's hand, looked at her mother, shook her mother's hand and teased her, the warm picture made my nose sore, turned my head out of the ward, and went to the corridor to breathe.
When the catheterization kit for my mother arrived, I struggled to move the huge packing box to my father's house, which was not heated at all, but it was not cold at all, and the good light made the house warm.
My younger brother always has to go home every once in a while to open the windows for ventilation, water the flowers and clean them, and the windows in the house are bright and orderly, just like when my father was there, the azaleas on the balcony are even full of red flowers.
I walked to the half-cupboard in front of the bed in my father's bedroom, touched the wedding photos of my parents, my eyes instantly became hazy again, I chattered with my father about family life, everything is fine at home, we are very good, the child is very competitive, and my mother is also taken care of more thoughtfully in the nursing home than at home, so that he can rest assured, the New Year, we can't give him a sacrifice, let him stop being so frugal over there, buy some delicious food by himself, buy new clothes, and go to his grandparents to celebrate the New Year happily.
The younger brother folded the quilt, but the mattress sheets and pillowcases were not changed, it was still the last time his father left the house, because of the pain, he sweated a lot, and some colors could be seen on the sheets, as if he could still see him curled up on the bed on his right side in pain, moaning softly, and there was an "S" shaped metal hook hanging on the top of the half cupboard, which was bent by his father's own hands, and it was used for hanging bottles for infusion in the last days of his father's life.
My father's leftover medicine was still in a paper bag by the window, and I wanted to take it away, but I couldn't bear it. After my father left, most of the time my younger brother came back to clean up the house, as a doctor, I didn't dare to step into this room too much, not because I was afraid, but because every time I entered the door, I would see my father's figure, and I felt unspeakably uncomfortable.
I have been a doctor for nearly 30 years and have participated in countless patient rescues, but I could not save my father's life, and even when I found out the real condition, it was already terminal cancer, and I didn't even have the opportunity to operate, which may be a pain that I will never be able to erase in my life.
In previous years, on Chinese New Year's Eve, my father would call me over and over again from the morning, urging me to go home and prepare the Chinese New Year's Eve dinner, I was always grinding, and I would not walk into the house until four or five o'clock in the afternoon, and my father would say, you are really slimy, you have to get stuck in time for everything, but this year, no one will urge me to make a Chinese New Year's Eve dinner.
My daughter asked me on the twenty-ninth year of the year, what to eat tomorrow, I had a mess in my head, I thought about it for a long time, I had no clue, I didn't know, I was preparing half a month in advance, I just bought it, I don't remember what I bought, the refrigerator was prepared with more than a dozen ingredients, stuffed full, but until I saw it, I would remember that I had prepared these.
The biggest headache is the dumplings in Chinese New Year's Eve, in fact, I bought more than a dozen packs of quick-frozen dumplings with various fillings in advance, but my daughter insisted on eating her own dumplings. I have no problem making dumplings, adjustable stuffing and face are always in the hands of my parents, I never worry, and I am too lazy to learn, the division of labor is clear, every year is my dad to adjust the stuffing, my mother and noodles, wife and younger siblings rolling skin, me and my younger brother wrap.
My wife learned how to mix stuffing with noodles on Douyin more than ten days in advance, and it sounds like a good thing, but I don't have any hope for her practice.
At first, I wanted to buy ready-made dumpling wrappers so that it would be as easy as possible to make dumplings, but for the sake of freshness, I wanted to put it off until the end of the year. But on the 28th day of the Lunar New Year, I suddenly found that dumpling wrappers could no longer be bought in supermarkets and vegetable markets, and the unified answer I got was that the pastry chef had taken a holiday.
While I was very angry at the pastry chef's lack of dedication, I was still lucky, and after hitting the wall again in the supermarket of the commercial building on the Chinese New Year's Eve, I let go of my illusion and bought a bag of five-pound dumpling powder.
My wife was a little excited, she had been preparing for half a month, and finally had the opportunity to intern, and began to prepare noodles with confidence, and read the ratio of dumpling filling to me with the screenshot of Douyin, I didn't listen, I adjusted the filling by feeling, and prepared two kinds of fillings: meat three fresh and mackerel.
My classmates called, saying that in view of the special situation of my family this year, the first day of the junior high school party that has been insisted on for more than ten years has been temporarily canceled this year, and the initial date has been changed to summer.
posted an announcement in the circle of friends, euphemistically explaining that it is inconvenient for me to pay New Year's greetings this year, and I will not reply to the text message WeChat, and I know that there will not be many people who will see it, just ask for peace of mind, if you don't receive a reply to the New Year's text message, the friendship that will be lost is not worth cherishing.
At noon, the door was busy pasting couplets, but I was tearing up last year's couplets, he asked, why don't you stick couplets at home, I whispered, my father died this year, and my family does not post couplets this year. The neighbor was surprised and hurriedly apologized, I felt that my eyes were red again, and I quickly lowered my head and entered the door after a few pleasantries.
My brother got off work early on Chinese New Year's Eve, rushed home at four o'clock in the afternoon, prepared some fruits, wrapped a few dumplings stuffed with sea cucumbers, and we went back to the nursing home to visit my mother together. The nursing home also eats dumplings today, because there is no stir-fried vegetables and porridge, and it is very viscous and difficult to swallow after being beaten into liquid.
The younger brother insisted on tearing up the dumplings and fruits separately by hand and feeding them to his mother little by little, and the mother ate them very seriously, and the dumplings were basically finished, and the fruits were also eaten a lot.
According to the rules there, most of them have prepared a sumptuous banquet at this time, and the family sits at the table, drinking and eating vegetables, watching TV, and sharing the joy of family.
First me, then my younger brother, and then I touched the scene, and the tears couldn't help but flow down, so I hung up the phone in a hurry.
It was nearly seven o'clock when I got home again, and I still didn't have a clue what to eat at night, so I hurriedly took out some chicken, duck and fish from the refrigerator, while my wife began to make noodles. Thinking about it, the Chinese New Year's Eve dinner of the three people, still did not dare to cook too much, fried two hot dishes, cut a plate of salmon, mixed a cold dish, cooked food cut a few plates, Chinese New Year's Eve dinner is considered to be a job.
The meal was like chewing wax, halfway through the meal I found that I hadn't drunk, took out the drinks prepared in advance, poured a glass each, raised the glass but didn't know what to say, and the Chinese New Year's Eve meal ended hastily.
At eight o'clock, I began to wrap dumplings, although I had already prepared, but I was still in a hurry, the noodles were too soft, the dumpling skin was too big, the dumplings were strangely shaped, my daughter was funny, I wrapped a few dumplings of various shapes in a whimsical way, and pinched two dragon horns on the dumplings.
We didn't prepare a coin, so we decided to wrap a few candies into it, and life was safe, sweet, and sweet, and what else did we need for a bicycle. At half past nine, I finally ate the dumplings I wrapped, the taste of the filling was decent, and the dumpling skin became the biggest groove.
CCTV Spring Festival Gala is as boring as ever, the castrated version of the language program is unknown, the close-up magic trick is unexpectedly goofy, the song and dance program is even more chaotic to go through the scene, but it is more interesting to look back at the Spring Festival Gala of the local station, but the theme of father's love is mentioned in the two Spring Festival Gala, and the chopsticks brothers' "Father" made me cry instantly, I don't know if he can see this year's Spring Festival Gala over there, whether he is also eating Chinese New Year's Eve dinner, while talking about the bullshit Spring Festival Gala.
When I got out of the dumplings, I saw a police car driving to the front of the building through the kitchen window, flashing red, green and green police lights, and honking the horn to warn the people who set off fireworks in the front building. I didn't buy fireworks, my daughter said I wanted to put a drop of gold a year ago, and I didn't buy it after a circle, and finally bought a few fairy sticks and came back, saying that I would go out with her sister to put it, but my sister said that she was scared and didn't dare to put it, plus the police car deterrent, and her daughter lost the interest in fireworks.
The TV is on, just to listen to a movement, each holding his own mobile phone to play, Wufu lottery, as always, less than two yuan, the brain is messing around, and playing games always loses. It's easy to stay up until midnight and fall asleep in a daze.
According to the rules of Qingdao, I have to get up early in the morning to set off firecrackers and make dumplings, in previous years, my father would always start calling me to go home before six o'clock, but this year no one urged me, but I woke up before four o'clock, I couldn't sleep anymore, and I was not in a hurry to get up, leaning on the head of the bed and playing with my mobile phone.
The circle of friends is full of news of reunion, eating, drinking and having fun is not lively, the junior high school teacher's family is already five generations in the same house, and her father is still healthy at the age of 95, with a clear mind, which is very enviable.
It was easy to stay up until dawn and go to the nursing home to visit my mother, although my mother was unwell these days, she was in good spirits, she was rarely able to interact with us, and she spoke much more clearly.
Being as ignorant as she is is actually a kind of happiness, at least she will not feel sad about the death of her loved ones.
The second wife of junior high school returned to her mother's house, although the father-in-law had a small operation in the middle of last year, but now he has completely recovered, and the parents chatted for a short time, talking about the dumplings of the Chinese New Year's Eve, and it was indispensable to laugh again.
Laughing and laughing, I suddenly wanted to cry, and I was even a little jealous that my wife had a home that I could go back to see at any time, parents who could chat freely, a table of simple but delicious home-cooked food, and a plate of steaming dumplings with a seasoning called "affection".
On the afternoon of the second day of junior high school, we usually go back to my father's house for dinner, but this year, we can only sit in the corner of the supermarket hot pot restaurant and accompany our daughter to find the prosperity of the factory.
The third year of junior high school is to send the New Year according to the practice of Jiaodong, but also to get up early in the morning to eat dumplings, can not wait for the call of the father, can only get up slowly to prepare by themselves, close to ten o'clock, finally eat the first bite of dumplings, this time the dumpling skin and filling has made significant progress.
The day of my daughter's start of school is approaching, and they all say that after the first winter vacation, the child will gradually adapt to school life and will no longer be so homesick, but why does this law not work in my daughter?
Before the college entrance examination, she had vowed to be admitted to a university in another province and never return to Shandong, but now she does not shy away from her love home, she will cry when we say goodbye, and she will not hide her tears because of homesickness in a call every day, she doesn't even let me mention the date, as soon as she says what day it is, she began to feel sad again, saying that she doesn't want to go back to school and wants to stay at home.
The day when my daughter left home was getting closer and closer, and my heart was like being bound by a circle of clockwork that was getting tighter and tighter, and it was getting tighter and tighter, so tight that I couldn't breathe.
It is said that no matter how old a child is, as long as he is by his parents' side, he will never grow up, so my father is really not by my side now, can I really "grow up"?
Although it will still cool down, spring has quietly descended on the world, whether I can let go or not, the past is gone, and there is no going back.
My hair has long been gray, and it is a bit hypocritical to say that "mature", since my mountain-like father's love has become a memory, then I can only let myself try my best to live as a mountain and work hard to support the growth of my daughter.