Most of the post-80s women's Qingming starts after the age of 35.
Especially the late-maturing type.
Women at this stage have loved, married, given birth, suffered, hysterical, divorced, and stupid.....
Those who have experienced the wind and waves, seen the ugliness of human nature, and those who have not been defeated have been reborn.
35 years old is a very special age and a watershed for women.
Those who have Huigen are almost beginning to slowly become enlightened at this age, and women who are not yet enlightened at the age of 35 are destined to endure more tribulations.
How to walk the road after the age of 35 is related to the happiness of the second half of our lives.
I have thought about and summarized the following things to share with my readers and friends.
One: Maintain lifelong learning.
This is one of the most important things in life. It's never too late to learn to change your destiny. What to learn, what to make up for what is missing. Those who are stubborn will repeat yesterday's stories, and those who keep learning have a higher and stronger ability to turn the page. Lifelong learners are new students every day, and there may be new and better opportunities at any time, and there are infinite possibilities in life. Those who do not study will become more and more solidified, and the road will become narrower and narrower, and they will slowly become social scraps.
Two: Stay away from the people who consume you.
To determine whether a person is consuming you, you only need to see whether you are better or worse with him. The people who consume you will make everything bad and uncontrollable for you. What kind of people are consuming people? Emotionally unstable, extreme, heavy negative energy, heavy anger, demanding, ungrateful, incompetent, and tasteless.....
Three: Don't try to change anyone.
It's a cliché. Adults only choose not to educate, stupidity is evil, when you pour all your energy into changing a stupid person, you think you are smart, but in fact you are even more stupid. People are stupid, people are comfortable, people are willing, what does it matter to you? If you easily interfere with other people's cause and effect, you will bear the evil consequences of others until you are sober.
Four: Stay away from people who have been unhappy.
Poor people will have something to hate. Don't be easy to be sympathetic, sometimes the worst people tend to show pity. The wicked are the most likely to sue, and we must be wary of those around us who accuse or even cry about others, it is very likely that they are the ones who have done all the bad things.
Five: Don't believe in love easily.
Love is a luxury, and it is hard to find. There are very few people who have love, because there are very few people who can afford to love. Most of the men and women in the world are together because of interests, not love. There is no love in the world of the poor, and there may be in the world of the rich. It depends on whether you have that life or not.
Six: the long-term relationship is far less long-lasting than the long-term interest.
You want a relationship to be stable, long-lasting, beautiful, and give each other enough benefits. There are interests to have feelings, and without interests, there are no feelings. The depth of the affection depends on the size of the interest. The benefits here are not only money, but all beneficial things, including but not limited to emotional value, companionship value, empathy value, convenience value..... What makes you profitable is not necessarily sincere, and what makes you unprofitable must be fake. Those who only play the emotional card with you have no feelings for you. After the age of 35, I was still moved: "When I have money, I will buy it for you....I will give it to you later...", that is stupid. What cannot be cashed out immediately is considered zero. Anyone leaves, don't cry and ask why. The answer is: you're not worth enough. Anyone who doesn't take you seriously comes down to your lack of value.
Don't think it's humiliating, materialistic, or snobbish. That's the reality. The reality has always been like this, because we didn't see it clearly, thinking that feelings are the most important. Feelings are important, and your very good aunt, you can try to reduce her salary by 20 yuan? You don't have to wait for tomorrow, you can resign immediately and find a home. Your own sister, you are in a third-tier city, the conditions are generally to give her the salary of an aunt in a third-tier city, and your younger brother is in a second-tier city, give her the salary of an aunt in a second-tier city, and let her help take care of the children. The meaning of the words is: "People give me a lot of money! You can't help me." "No one will give you the opportunity to increase your salary, and they don't believe that you have the ability or willingness to give her a salary increase as the conditions improve, and they don't believe that you won't treat her badly. What is emotion? Strength is king.
Most people will go through the process of being full of water and willing to die for their "confidant". When reality slaps you hard to wake up your ideals and innocence, hurts, and tramples on your feelings and dignity, pain will make you recognize reality. There is no right or wrong, this is human nature, people can not submit to the powerful, but they must submit to human nature.
Complaining, blaming, resentment, are all manifestations of the emotional, incompetent, weak of the weak. Powerful, capable people know the rules of society and understand human nature better than anyone else. I have the ability to give, to give all you want before you even open your mouth. If you don't have the ability to give, understand and bless your choice.
When the strength is not enough and people are unprofitable, don't talk about feelings with others, this is called emotional kidnapping. Affection is giving. When you have the strength to be good to others, only to be happy for others, and only to solve problems for others, it is true feelings.
To do this, you must first have this ability.
People can't give what they don't have.
Therefore, people must work hard, improve, and progress.
It's actually a cool thing to be a person who makes others profitable.
Seven: Stay away from right and wrong.
A person of right and wrong must be a person with a lower understanding. This kind of people have a heavy hate, love to fight, love to rob, and can't see the good of others, and the location of the person who is right and wrong must be the place of right and wrong. Such people will always be parents in their mouths, and they will always be victims, and they will repeat their grievances and misfortunes over and over again like a sister-in-law. The real grievances cannot be said and will not be said. If a person is with you, tell about her misfortune and evacuate as soon as possible. This person must not be a high-quality category, keep the feng shui on your body, and don't easily get caught in the crooked wind. High-quality people who are seriously injured will not easily show their wounds, even if their hearts are dripping with blood, in the face of their care, they will smile and say, "It's okay." "Rejecting Xianglin's sister-in-law and rejecting the parents' shortcomings is a great waste of life.
八：自己才是靠山。
靠山山会倒，靠水水会流，靠父母会老，另一半会跑。唯有靠自己，才能一辈子。尽管每个女人都有个英雄梦，但这个梦大多会碎。做自己的英雄吧。当你弱的时候，坏人最多，而你强了呢？不用付出丝毫，知道你名号的都赶着来孝敬一番。有句话讲：“富人不需要付出自己的财富，只需要让人知道他的财富就可得到他想要的。”在这里呢，也顺便讲一句，没花在你身上的，多少个小目标也跟你没关系。
九：先爱己后爱人。
一个连自己都不爱的人，是不懂得如何爱人的。一个自己都不爱的人是不可能得到他人的爱的。最新影片《热辣滚烫》里乐滢对昊坤不好么？2500一个月的工资可以花5000给昊坤买比赛资格，自己舍不得吃喝天天给昊坤煎牛排煮海鲜。然后呢？连讲一句梦想的资格都没有！昊坤一句：“服务员！”叫得那一个清脆！你自己省吃俭用，舍不得吃喝，对兄弟姐妹大方慷慨，倾囊相助，先人后己，你的兄弟姐妹未必会把你当回事。当你不够好时，真诚不是必杀技，真心也换不来真心。一定是先好好爱自己，百分百的爱自己，把自己养好了，别人才知道如何爱你，尊重你。 Ten: Don't grow up with a man.
The predecessors planted trees, and the descendants enjoyed the shade. If you can't sit back and enjoy it, then sit back and watch. Growth is a matter of each other, and each is responsible for it. If you don't have a choice, then go and accumulate your strength. At any time, look for someone who matches you, climb high, useless, low, and suffer. Energy, cognition, spiritual level, economic conditions, and comprehensive quality are comparable, in order to be balanced, can be long-lasting.
Eleven: Don't be a good person.
If there is no principle, it is to help the abuse. It should be given face to face, it should be offended and offended, the good man can't solve the problem, and he can't get good. Sometimes, the good ones are worse than the wicked. Because her original intention was to "be good!", you can't blame it yet. Actually, the merits of the wicked are half as good as the good ones. Good people are often masters of mud, to put it bluntly, they just can't figure it out.
Twelve: Don't be too soft-hearted.
If the heart is too soft, it is also aiding and abetting. If you have done something absolutely successfully, don't talk about old feelings. Whoever should get out of here, let him go forever. Don't forgive me with a nice word, and let go with a sorry word. People who have hurt you will hurt you repeatedly, keep it in my mind, no, it is engraved on the cells, and this kind of person should not appear in your world again. What kind of adult does not remember the villain, the prodigal son does not change his money, he knows his mistakes and corrects them, and he is very good! A person who has done things absolutely will have no affection for you in his heart. For this kind of person, it is to be banned forever, and never look at it again!
Thirteen: People who hurt your family, you're welcome.
To hurt your family is to beat you up. To look down on your family is to look down on you. Don't be stupid and talk to others. Whoever dares to say half a sentence about my son in front of me is not good to try, no matter how good the relationship is, I won't say anything the first time out of cultivation, and I won't be polite the second time. It's not good for my son, even if it's the child's own father, I don't know him anymore. Not to mention others. Last year, the woman I used to call "sister-in-law" scolded my son for being ugly, obscene, and despicable. But anyone with a little cultivation can't scold such words. Even though she was a head taller than me, I didn't hesitate to rush up and scuffle with her. At that time, my friends were waiting for me in the car downstairs, and when a phone call came, they would immediately go upstairs and could not spare her. If it weren't for the eldest brother's affection, if it weren't for the feelings of my parents, if it weren't for reason to restrain me, that night wouldn't have been that level, it wouldn't have been like that. It's been so long, every word she scolded my son, every expression she said that night was deeply in my heart, if it weren't for this relationship, I would have made her pay for her actions, because of this relationship, I wouldn't ask for anything more, but I would never have seen her. It doesn't matter who does the work. No one is going to do my job on this. Family is the bottom line.
Fourteen: Learn to be alone.
Cattle and sheep are in groups, and tigers and leopards walk alone. Try not to participate in a meal with more than three people. The more time you spend alone, the faster you grow. Only when you are alone can you have space to think, only then can you be quiet and learn, and only then can you open up wisdom. Those who achieve great things are often lone rangers. The kind of people who get into the crowd all day long can't do anything. The level of a person's spirit depends on his living habits, the kind of person who can't stay at home all day long, runs out, wants to party, and can eat, drink, and drink tea until midnight with cats and dogs, not a person with many grades. Being alone is a meditation and a nourishment. People who can be alone are not simple, at least a person who can endure loneliness and have the courage to face loneliness, this kind of person has his own attitude, principles, and bottom line, and he can often bear it.
Fifteen: After the age of 35, health preservation and making money should be carried out at the same time.
All overdrafts healthy money making are useless work. It is necessary to gradually quit habits and hobbies that are not good for your health, and maintain a certain amount of exercise. Learn some routine simple and easy-to-use health regimens to develop healthy eating habits.
Sixteen: Family first.
Many people think that the most important thing for me now is to make money, and when I make enough money, I will spend time with my family. People who think this way are essentially irresponsible people, evading their obligations and responsibilities under the guise of making money. Nothing is more important than family, family is a person's only safe haven in this world, if you don't manage your family well, accompany your family, and make more money, you will not be happy. I could have gone to a better city, had a better platform, had an income several times higher than I have now, and developed more easily and quickly than I have now, provided that I had put my work first and pushed my children away. Decisively choose not to. I can make money slowly, realize my dreams slowly, and nothing can induce the growth of my absent children. Money is inexhaustible, and taking care of your family will affect your development and income to a certain extent, but it will never make you fall into poverty and misery. What keeps you in poverty is your lazy, unwilling heart to change.
Seventeen: People who are not good to their children and parents cannot be made friends or dealt with.
A person who is not good to his parents and children is a person who has no sincerity and is absolutely unreliable. They are people who are completely profit-oriented, people who are extremely selfish and cannot afford to do anything.
Eighteen: Don't think about making people regret.
You just have to prove it to yourself and give it to yourself. Many people are stuck in the pain of the past and can't get out, just keep breathing, trying to prove that the other party miscalculated, and the dog looks down on people, making the other party regret how stupid it is to miss themselves. What a loss it is to make the other person regret not treating him well in the first place. A counselor who had hated her ex-husband for ten years said to me, "Then I forgive him so easily, I don't hate him anymore, don't I cheapen him?" and I laughed. Let go, the biggest beneficiary is yourself. The more you want to prove it, the more you want it to regret it, the more difficult it is to let go, people have already swayed in spring, and you are still covered in old snow. Who is torturing? No one wants it, and you want him to regret it? To the person who hurt you, accept it, let it go, and then return to the bridge and the road to the road. There are a lot of scenery in life, why bother painting the ground as a prison.
19: Eishu Mukaimae.
Let the past pass. The good and the bad, the passable, and the unpassable, let it pass. Letting go doesn't mean forgiveness, it's cleaning up. Clean up regularly and quantitatively, and throw away the bad ones. When your energy and thoughts are still stuck on the old people and things, it means that you have not made progress, and you will not be better! Everything that makes you unhappy should be kept away and thrown away. It's like never been here, doesn't exist. When you get on the boat, you don't think about the people on the shore, and you don't talk about what happened on the ship. The old people don't need to know what's going on, and the new people don't need to ask about the past. Each has its own ferry, and each has its own return boat. Live like a book, read which article you like, and turn the page when you are irritable when you read it.
The renminbi is not everyone's favorite, not to mention that we are just individuals.
We cherish what we cherish, and if we don't look down on us, we laugh it off.
Choose the good and make friends, and stay away from the evil.
Don't dwell.
In this life, most people are lonely.
Arm a good mind, strengthen the mind and psychology, enhance cognition, enrich the spirit...
Be reconciled with the world, reconcile with yourself. Get along with the world, with yourself.
Protect those who love well, be gentle and firm, brave and abundant.
Encourage you.
About author:Shen Xiaobei, emotional writer, starting point contract writer, emotional counselor, senior psychological counselor, lawyer. He is the author of thousands of emotional essays, which have been reprinted by many millions, and the novels "Love Through the Siege" and "Su Xiaomo, You Don't Want to Escape!". Not pretentious, not sensational, rational, objective, use words to express life, arouse people's thinking and resonance!