This story is purely fictional and for entertainment purposes only!
In the last section of the book, Hong Qiucai heard that the courtyard door was knocked open, turned his head to look, and was surprised, it was not someone else who came in, but a turtle. He asked in surprise, "Didn't you just come in with me?"
The turtle said with a bitter face: "Lord, it's not that I don't come in, but I'm too short to climb the wall." I heard you command me to kick in the door, so I kicked open the gate and came in. ”
Hong begged for money and hurriedly said: "Quick, kick open the door of the house, there is a thief inside, bullying the hostess, you go and catch him, be careful that he has a knife." ”
The turtle agreed, stepped forward, and kicked the door open. At this moment, the wind sounded, and a knife slashed out. The thieves heard the conversation outside the house and were already waiting to attack at the door. I saw the turtle turn around sharply, and with its back to the knife, the knife slashed at the turtle's back, like a stone, and made a sound, sparks flew out, and the knife bounced back.
The thief shouted, "Good kung fu, I didn't expect your golden bell jar to reach such a height, the knife can't cut in, friend, report your name, which way are you a friend?"
When the turtle first came to earth, how did he understand this? shouted, "What nonsense are you talking about? I don't understand, so don't move, let me catch you, or send a bus to my lord." "Anyway, reach out and grab it.
The man used a chain of knives, the turtle saw that the situation was not good, quickly turned around, and took three knives with his back, it was nothing, but the thief was shocked and retreated, and couldn't help exclaiming, "Good kung fu, your golden bell jar kung fu can be called the first in the world." Friend, you and I have no grudges in the past, no enmity in the near future, let me go, I don't want this woman anymore, give it to you two, how about it?"
Hong Qiucai was so angry that his eyebrows stood in the courtyard and scolded: "You are really full of nonsense, we are decent people, how can we be in the same league with thieves like you? ”
The turtle said "get the order" and rushed towards the thief, the thief slashed five times in a row, the turtle retreated one after another to dodge, the thief flew up and jumped up, using the momentum of Mount Tai to the top, and slashed a knife. Seeing that the situation was not good, the turtle turned around in a hurry, turned his back to the knife, only to hear a loud noise, sparks flew everywhere, the thief was knocked into the wall, and the turtle staggered out of the house, and could not help shouting: "What a great force!"
Hong Qiucai hurriedly pulled the turtle aside and asked softly, "Why do you always use your back to the knife? Why don't you face the knife with your chest? Isn't the back a turtle shell, and the front chest also a turtle shell?"
The turtle whispered: "Lord, you don't know, subordinates are habits, once they encounter danger, they will use their backs to block, the turtle's hard shell can block thousands of catties of gravity, but the front chest is not so powerful, can only resist a few hundred catties of strength." Didn't you see a turtle that turned over and fought with its chest when it was in danger, did you?"
Hong Qiucai said softly: "You stupid turtle, it's too real, he is a person who practices martial arts, a knife down, can have 300 catties of strength to reach the sky, your chest can easily resist his knife, you use your chest to block the knife, you can catch him, it seems that you always turn around and use the back to catch the knife, when can you catch him?"
The turtle nodded and said, "Okay, lord, I'll give it a try." ”
The thief guarded the door and did not dare to come out, so the turtle walked into the door, and as soon as his feet stepped into the threshold, he was faced with a knife, and he was still worried that his chest could not block the knife, besides, who would be stupid enough to block the knife with his chest?
Thinking of this, it jumped up sharply, and the thief's knife slashed at its belly, and the turtle shell on the belly had not yet cultivated into flesh, like a pot lid, protruding in front of it, and flicked the knife back.
Taking advantage of the moment when the thief was stunned, the turtle opened its arms and hugged the thief hard, and the thief suddenly couldn't move, screaming in pain, and shouted one after another: "Light, it hurts, let go of me!"
Although the turtle can't run fast or jump very high, it has great strength, and it has absorbed more than 800 years of energy, and its strength is more than a thousand pounds? It only used 30% of its strength, and the thieves broke two ribs on each side. It carried the thief to the woman's room and laid him down, and the thief was unsteady on his feet, sitting on the floor with his back against the wall.
Hong Qiucai also came in and said, "Little lady, don't be afraid, we are here to help you, where are your oil lamps and fire twists? ”
The woman could not move, but she could speak, and she said, "Thank you for the rescue, the oil lamp and the fire twist are on the table by the wall." Hong Qiucai fumbled and lit the lamp, and the woman's head was on the side, facing outward, and happened to be facing the turtle, and when she saw the turtle's body, she screamed in fright.
The turtle blushed, quickly stretched out his hands to cover his lower body, and turned sideways, coincidentally, his back was just facing the thief, and the thief saw its little tail, and immediately shouted: "Monster, it turns out that the two of them are monsters, no wonder they are not afraid of slashing, I thought I practiced the Golden Bell Jar Kung Fu." The turtle awkwardly stretched out a hand to cover its back, not daring to move, no matter which direction it turned, someone would see the tail and the indecency. It cried out anxiously, "My lord, tear a piece of your garment for me, and let me tie it around my waist." ”
The woman looked at its embarrassment, couldn't help laughing, and said, "There are my husband's clothes in the cupboard, you can go and choose a set to wear." Hong Qiucai opened the cabinet, took out a set of clothes and threw it to the turtle, and chose a set to put on.
After the turtle put on the clothes, the tail lifted the clothes behind it, and it raised a big bump, which looked weird and made people laugh, and the woman couldn't help but laugh.
Hong Qicai instructed: "Strategist, you go to the kitchen and scoop a bowl of water and spray it on the woman's face so that she can move." ”
盗贼却说：“别，千万不要。 ”
Hung asks why?
The thief said, "Don't be fooled by some legendary books. ”
It turns out that many legendary books write that once someone is fainted by incense, splashing or spraying water on the person's body or face, the person can wake up. Is this method feasible? It is indeed possible, but there is a disadvantage, that is, the person is stimulated by cold water, which hurts the nervous system of the body, and the root of the disease will fall, and when he is young, he will be paralyzed in bed.
The thief said, "The best thing to do is to let the medicine fade slowly and let her move slowly." ”
Hong Qiucai nodded, and was about to ask about the woman's life experience, when suddenly the thief asked: "Dare to ask this lord, is it called Hong Qiucai?" Hong Qiucai looked at him in surprise, and suddenly felt a little familiar, but he couldn't remember who it was? So he asked, "Dare to ask which one you are?"
The thief said, "I am an official in the county office, and I saw you in the county office." ”
When he was sent to the county government and locked up in the class room, he saw this person, so he asked: "You are not on an errand in the county office, why did you become a thief?"
The thief endured the pain and said with a bitter face, "It's a long story. ”
It turned out that this person's surname was Gao, ranked ninth, and he was called Gao Laojiu. Since the county magistrate accepted the concubine, the county magistrate's wife did not allow the county magistrate to enter her room. However, after all, she is a lonely woman who can't keep it, and after a few months, she got along with Gao Laojiu.
However, Gao Laojiu knew in his heart that this was not a long-term solution after all, paper could not contain the fire, and if he was discovered by the county order, he would be a dead end. So, he persuaded his wife to sweep the money, and the two went away together.
However, Mrs. was reluctant to be prosperous and wealthy, and was unwilling to follow Gao Laojiu. She and Gao Laojiu are good, just to relieve loneliness, Gao Laojiu can't give her a comfortable life.
However, she knew that Gao Laojiu was greedy for money, so she promised to give him three thousand taels of silver on only one condition, to kill the concubine of the county order. She and the county order have fallen out to such an extent, it is all the fault of the concubine, as long as the concubine is gone, the county order will return to her side.
Gao Laojiu's heart was moved, but he felt that the money was too little, so he asked for five thousand taels of silver, and it was not good to have one less. The lady had no choice but to agree, and gave a deposit of 500 taels first, and then paid 5,000 taels after the matter was completed.
Speaking of this, Gao Laojiu gritted his teeth and said: "I didn't expect that the county order was an old treacherous and cunning thing, my wife died, and I became a fugitive from sea hunting." ”
Unexpectedly, the turtle was addicted to it, and said anxiously: "Don't stop, hurry up, I want to listen." ”
Gao Laojiu looked at the turtle, then looked at Hong Qiucai, and said to the turtle: "It turns out that Brother Hong is not a monster, this black-faced brother is a monster, I don't know where you are sacred?"
The turtle stretched its face and said, "Who is your brother? I have lived for more than 800 years, and I am your ancestor." ”
Gao Laojiu said: "Ancestor is Ancestor, I don't lose." I said, Ancestor, you can do well, use a spell to connect my ribs, look at me, my face is pale with pain, how can I have the strength to continue?"
The turtle's eyes were glaring, and he was about to scold, but Hong Qiucai said, "Strategist, you can treat his injuries." The turtle said with a bitter face: "Lord, I don't know how to heal, I really can't treat his injuries!"
Gao Laojiu took a deep breath, held back the pain, and mocked: "Yo, you are still a military advisor, since ancient times, military advisors have been resourceful people, I think you have a vain reputation, and you are not worthy of being a military advisor at all." ”
The turtle was angry and said, "If you laugh at me again, I will tear your mouth apart." Gao Laojiu said: "If you heal my injuries, I will admit that you are a military advisor, otherwise, you will be an old man." He was afraid that the turtle would really get angry, so he didn't dare to say it too irritating, so he said that he was a gatekeeper. Actually, he was going to say that he was an old dog who was a janitor.
This still made the turtle extremely angry, and in order to prove that he was a legitimate military advisor, it walked up and down the ground, racking its brains and thinking, and really made it think of a way to speak.
There is a dragon temple in the bottom of the sea, and there is a turtle dragon living in it. Because the dragon is the king of the seabed, the dragon's residence is called the Dragon Palace, and the turtle dragon is one level lower than the dragon king, so the residence can only be called the Dragon Palace. Guarding the Dragon Hall is a dragon, which is more familiar with turtles, and the two are commensurate with brothers.
One day, the turtle went to visit the dragon brothers, and the dragon doctor was treating the dragon's injuries. It turned out that when Jiaolong led the naval army to train, he was unfortunately hit by a spaceship that rushed out of the underwater time tunnel and broke three ribs. As for the underwater time tunnel and spaceship, there will be a detailed explanation later.
The turtle saw the whole process of healing, and saw that the dragon doctor drank hemp boiling powder for Jiaolong, and then used a thin knife to cut a hole in Jiaolong's side, stretched out his hand to connect Jiaolong's broken ribs, and then sewed the wound with needles and threads. The dragon rested for a while and was cured.
Speaking of this, the turtle said to Gao Laojiu: "I can follow the example of the dragon doctor and attach the broken rib to you." Gao Laojiu said in horror: "I don't want it, if you don't have numbness, I will die of pain." ”
Hong Qiucai smiled and said, "I have a way to ensure that you don't feel pain." With that, he took a piece of rabbit meat from his neck, which he had eaten and was reluctant to throw away, but still hung around his neck.
The turtle understood, took the rabbit meat and ate it, and after a while, the stomach began to react. It carried Gao Laojiu outside the house, leaned against the wall, it walked forward more than a dozen steps, estimated that the distance was almost there, unbuttoned his pants, picked up his breath, and then with a force, a stream of gas rushed towards Gao Laojiu.
Because the amount of food is small, the power of the gas is small, and the lethality is not large, Gao Laojiu was not injured. But the concentration of the stench did not decrease, and Gao Laojiu was suddenly fainted.
The turtle stepped forward and shook his hands, turning his left hand into a knife and his right hand into scissors. Hong Qiucai felt strange and exclaimed: "Strategist, do you still use spells?" The turtle smiled and said, "If you can't use big spells, you can still use some small spells." ”
After that, it used a knife to cut a hole in Gao Laojiu's side, then used scissors to cut a hole, and then with a shake of both hands, the knife and scissors disappeared and became a pair of tiny hands, the fingers were thinner than chopsticks. It reached in and attached the broken rib.
Hong Qiucai had already found a needle and thread in the woman's house and handed it to the turtle, who sewed the wound and wiped the blood with a cloth. It did the same, and connected the broken rib on the other side.
After doing all this, the turtle shook his hands, returned to normal, and sighed, "It's a pity that there is no medicinal powder to heal the wounds." Hong Qicai grinned and took out a pack of pills from his trouser pocket, which was the medicine for bruises.
It turned out that before leaving, in order to prevent accidents at sea, he brought this pack of pills with him in case of emergency, and he didn't expect it to come in handy now.
The turtle took it, mashed the pill, smeared it on the wound, and took out a bowl of water, melted the pill, and poured it into Gao Laojiu's mouth. After doing all this, the turtle suddenly said, "Oh, we forgot one thing, we only cared about treating him, but we forgot that the smell was so bad that it could make him faint for hours, and you were like that." ”
Hong Qicai smiled and said, "Do you want to listen to Gao Laojiu's story? Well, you go and scoop a bowl of cold water, and we'll wake him up, and his ribs are already connected, and they shouldn't hurt as much as they used to be. ”
The turtle smiled and said, "That's it." Ran into the kitchen with a bowl, scooped a bowl of cold water, took a sip, and sprayed it on Gao Laojiu's face. However, Gao Laojiu did not react. The turtle was in a hurry, and a bowl of water was splashed on Gao Laojiu's head, but he still didn't react.
The two glanced at each other and had to give up. Hong Qiucai said: "Let's go in and see the woman, the effect of the medicine should subside." The two walked into the woman's bedroom, and the woman was able to move, but her legs and feet were not yet dexterous. She saw the two of them walk in, struggling to sit up, and Hong begged for money and said, "You lie down and don't move, we want to know about your background." ”
The woman nodded and spoke.
It turned out that the woman's surname was Qiao, and she only got married last year. Because of the discord with his mother-in-law, he separated soon after he got married and moved here to live. The husband's surname is Shi, and he is a merchant who walks the streets and alleys, and he took a few people to buy goods in the state city, and he has been walking for four or five days, and it is estimated that he will come back in these two days.
As he was talking, the rooster began to crow, and it was already the fifth watch, and the sky was already slightly white. Qiao Shi was already able to move, got dressed and got up, and went to the kitchen to boil water, intending to make tea for the two of them.
Suddenly, a shout sounded outside the courtyard gate, "Who kicked my courtyard gate?" followed by a big man with a stick in his hand, and when he saw two people sitting in the hall, he raised the stick and beat it. The turtle quickly stood up, stood in front of Hong Qiucai, turned around, bent forward, and blocked the stick with his back. Hearing a bang, the stick was suddenly broken in two, and the strong man's tiger mouth shook and bleed.
The strong man was stunned, looked at the tiger's mouth, then at the turtle, and then at the tiger's mouth, and seemed to be a little incredulous, this person's back was as hard as iron and stone.
Hong Qiucai stood up, smiled slightly, and asked, "Could it be that your surname is Shi?"
The strong man said, "Exactly, who are you? Why do you sit in my house at night? Did you kick down the gate of my house?"
The turtle glared at him and said arrogantly, "I kicked it down, what do you want?"
Hong Qiucai pulled the turtle aside, arched his hand and said with a smile: "This is a misunderstanding. At this time, Qiao Shi hurriedly ran over with tea and hurriedly said, "These two are my lifesavers." She put the tea in front of the two of them, and told her husband a rough story about what had happened last night.
The surnamed Shi quickly apologized and expressed his gratitude. It turned out that last night, a few of them, pushing a few wheelbarrows, were originally resting in the inn. At the end of the second watch, the surname Shi panicked, couldn't sleep well, worried about Qiao's safety, so he borrowed the donkey of the innkeeper, rushed back overnight, and finally arrived at home at dawn.
The turtle had never drunk tea, and he didn't know how to wait for the water temperature to drop before drinking, so he took a big sip of the teacup, and the boiling water was so hot that he quickly spit out the tea, covered his mouth and screamed, and several people couldn't help laughing when they saw his embarrassment.
When her mouth stopped hurting, the turtle asked Qiao, is there still boiling water? Qiaoshi said that there was still half a pot in the pot, and the turtle asked her to bring it in a basin.
The turtle smiled evilly and said, "You'll find out later." ”
After a while, Qiao brought a basin of boiling water, and the turtle took it, came to the courtyard, and fell towards Gao Laojiu's crotch.
(To be continued)