There is no shortage of such parents around us.
Every night when the child comes home from school, he will only say these three words:
Time to eat!
Is the homework done?
Go to bed early!
But this way of communicating is too simplistic and crude.
Most parents don't really care about their children's inner health.
In life, teaching children how to get along with themselves is often overlooked by parents.
Over time, when children experience frustration, stress, or emotional out-of-control.
They will not be able to cope with themselves, and they will not be able to seek help from their families.
It can lead to psychological shadows and even mental illness in children.
Therefore, it is very important for parents to teach their children to learn to get along with themselves in daily life.
In this way, children can achieve a state of inner harmony and mental health.
The premise of mental health is to know yourself
A child's ability to know himself and understand himself is not only the beginning of self-confidence, but also a prerequisite for mental health.
Many children's psychological problems in life start from not knowing themselves.
Some children are afraid to see their parents because they fail an exam, and even end their lives because they do not do well in the exam.
Especially before and after the high school entrance examination and the college entrance examination, it is a period of high incidence of tragedy.
In fact, for adults, what can you do if you don't do well in an exam!
But in a child's world, I just feel like I'm finished.
Xiuxiu, a thirteen-year-old primary school graduate in Ningxia.
Because I felt that I didn't do well in the exam, I missed out on the key middle school.
When I thought of my parents' hard work and even too much money, I committed suicide.
Of course, it is good to go to a key middle school, and it is by no means an unforgivable crime to not be able to go to it.
Life is full of opportunities, but in the world of some children, it is seen as a big thing.
On the contrary, a person who can successfully get to know himself has a broader life.
Wang Rui was a former Distinguished Interpreter for the U.S. Department of State and President of the North Carolina Chapter of the U.S.-China Friendship Association.
She is also a contracted writer for several well-known publishing groups in the United States, the United Kingdom, and Germany.
He joined the Chinese Writers Association at the age of 22 and has published the novels "Song of Searching", "From Beijing to California", "Harvard Lover", "The Vulgar and Unbearable" and the English novel "Lily".
But her early childhood was not very smooth.
In kindergarten, due to tonsil surgery.
Her voice is a bit rough compared to other children, and she often laughs when she sings.
For this reason, she has low self-esteem and does not even want to go to kindergarten.
What did Wang Rui's mother do about this?
Her mother gave her an example of the famous Peking Opera master Cheng Yanqiu, who also had a low voice.
But Cheng Yanqiu did not feel inferior because of this.
He designed a tactful and intermittent singing voice according to the characteristics of his voice.
As a result, the "Cheng School" art was created, which everyone loved to hear.
Mother encouraged Wang Rui to sing not in the thickness of her voice, but in the right tone, she should sing more, and her voice can be practiced well.
Therefore, Wang Rui regained her confidence and practiced at home whenever she had time.
When she was in junior high school, the Central People's Radio recruited young hosts, and she went to take the exam, and the examiner said that she had a good voice.
Under the correct guidance of her mother, Wang Rui began her life journey of knowing and accepting herself.
Help children understand themselves and let them develop such a psychological quality:
When others say that you are like a flower, you know that there is something wrong with you;
When others say that you are like tofu dregs.
You will say:
"I'm not that bad, I know what I do. ”
Wang Rui's experience has taught us a lot about the great potential of every human being.
However, the root of many psychological problems lies in the child's inability to accurately understand himself and is hit by an inferiority complex.
Therefore, parents need to guide their children correctly to know themselves and believe in themselves.
Let your child have a successful experience in practice and lay a solid foundation for your child's mental health.
Learn to accept yourself and reconcile with yourself
In a survey, the China Youth Research Center found that:
40% of primary and secondary school students are unable to accept their academic performance.
Nearly 20% of children do not accept their looks.
You will feel that you are too fat, too short, your single eyelid is not good-looking, your skin is too dark, etc......
Being able to accept oneself is an important indicator of a person's mental health.
The most important reason for the success of the famous film actress Sofia Lorenso is the courage to accept herself.
She once won the Academy Award for Best Actress.
has starred in famous films such as "Cassandra Bridge" and "Beacon Mother and Daughter Tears".
But when Sophia made her first film, she was disliked by the photographer as too ugly, and she was only 16 years old at the time.
The cinematographer whined to the director:
"Director, what kind of actor did you find?
It's so ugly, no matter how you shoot it, you can't shoot it beautifully!"
This director is the famous Italian director Carlo.
Carlo thought:
yes, Sophia Loren looks a little weird.
The mouth is big, the nose is high, the eyes are big, it's more exaggerated, and there are other problems.
Later, director Carlo hesitated, and he brought Sophia Loren to talk.
This conversation later became a classic fragment in Sophia Loren's biography "Life and Love":
"Although my nose is a little higher, my hips are a little more developed," she said.
But these are my characteristics, and I don't want to change anything for making a movie.
Why does the beauty in the world have to be the same?"
When the director heard it, he felt that it made sense.
Just apologize to her:
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked you about it. ”
It's really embarrassing for a great director to make such a request to a sixteen-year-old girl who is making a movie for the first time.
But Sophia Loren is a very good psychological person, which is why there is such a conversation.
The phrase "Why does the beauty of the world have to be the same".
has a lot of aesthetic insights, and this director is also very perceptive.
Therefore, the director quickly said that the film would continue to be filmed, and if the cinematographer protested, then ask another Gao Ming.
In the end, the movie was made, and as soon as it was released, it became popular all over the world, and Sophia Loren suddenly became a star.
She was very talented and later made more than a hundred films.
In 2000, she was named a "Millennium Beauty" by the British media, and she also has her own cosmetics brand.
Through this story, you will find out, where is the beauty of a person?
Beauty is in self-confidence, beauty is in personality, beauty is in nature.
In fact, every child has merits, but also potential stocks, the key is to know themselves and accept themselves.
For example, although the child does not have good grades, he has good things in other aspects.
A child who does not do well in school, he may be good in sports.
A child who is a little bit less athletic may be able to sing very well.
People will always encounter unsatisfactory things, and try to accept it.
Don't feel inferior because you have flaws, everyone has flaws, everyone has things to regret.
Everyone has things that are hard to face, and we don't have to torture ourselves for that.
Accept your flaws, regrets, and mistakes, and let this page be turned from now on.
Learn to control your emotions and behavior
A person with psychological problems, most of them because they can't control themselves.
I want children to better understand themselves and accept themselves.
Parents need to develop their children's ability to control their emotions and behaviors.
There is such a story in "90 Suggestions for Parents from Judges' Moms".
Wu Jun and Li Ming are both in their first year of high school at a middle school, and both teenagers have excellent academic performance.
They are the only children in the family, and they are the hearts and minds of their parents.
But no one would have thought that they would lead to a criminal case because of a trivial matter.
One is imprisoned, and the other's life is forever fixed in the first year of high school.
They were in physical education class that day, and the boys were divided into two groups to play a football game, and when the class was about to end, Wu Jun's group accidentally let the opponent kick a goal.
Wu Jun felt annoyed and couldn't help but complain about the goalkeeper:
"Stinky ball, you're such an idiot, how can you let someone pour a ball?"
Li Ming and the goalkeeper are good friends, and when they saw that their friends were complained, the buddy's righteousness came up all of a sudden.
He shouted at Wu Ming:
"It's not his fault that he scored the goal, why are you scolding others?
So the two of them changed from moving their mouths to doing their hands, and were persuaded by the classmates next to them.
Originally, the matter should have ended here, but the more Li Ming returned to the classroom, the more he thought about it, the more angry he became.
He was tall and strong, but he was beaten by Wu Jun.
is also accused of meddling, isn't this too cowardly?
Li Ming couldn't sit still, so he took out a sharp Mongolian knife from his schoolbag, pinned it to his waist, and rushed out of the classroom.
It was another provocation to find Wu Jun, and in the end, the two fought together again.
Taking advantage of the chaos, Li Ming took out a big knife and slashed at Wu Jun.
In the end, Wu Jun was stabbed several times and sent to the hospital for emergency treatment, but eventually died of excessive bleeding.
Li Ming was also sentenced to a heavy sentence for intentional injury causing death.
What was supposed to be a simple conflict turned into a catastrophe because of uncontrollable emotions.
Coincidentally, these two children have been taken care of by their grandparents since they were young because their parents were busy.
They do not have the correct guidance of their parents from an early age, which is also an important factor in causing children to be short-tempered.
Adolescent children are prone to impulsiveness, and tragedy can occur in extreme cases when they are completely out of control.
Therefore, it is important for parents to keep their children firmly in mind one principle:
No matter what happens, have the ability to control yourself.
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Let your child learn to get along with himself and help him achieve a state of inner harmony and mental health.
It is crucial for parents.
Here's a summary of the secret to mental health in twelve words:
Know yourself, accept yourself, control yourself.
Knowing yourself is a prerequisite for mental health.
Only by knowing yourself can we accept ourselves.
Accept yourself in order to control yourself.
Parents should especially develop their children's ability to control their emotions and behaviors.
Let your child be the master of your body and mind.
Author | Poetry and Breeze
Illustration | Poetry and Charm Night Painting