Home is not a place for reasoning, it is a place for hiding love

Text丨Fish Dad Image source: Meisu Gallery

During the Chinese New Year, every time I saw my uncle, I would always talk about family relationships.

In his 70s, he always said that he had quarreled with his wife all his life, and you young people should have a better personality.

Sometimes he smokes a cigarette and says thoughtfully, "The most important thing to find a partner to marry is to have a good temper and personality, otherwise you will be noisy and angry all your life." ”

Another time, he whispered to me, "Do you know why I'm arguing? For example, she often said that I went out for a run and didn't earn a penny, and that she earned all the money in the family from raising pigs and farming. Then I don't agree, and I will definitely fight with her about right and wrong. ”

I listened, and then comforted him.

He just shook his head and didn't speak.

Then he said that although he understood the truth of family and prosperity, he still lost in temper.

I still think too much and like to fight.

Many people will say, isn't there a saying: Reason to go all over the world, unreasonable is difficult to move an inch?

Do you have to endure those "unreasonable" things at home?

You'll see a lot of people arguing and saying, why don't you be reasonable, why doesn't it make sense?

Sometimes, I will tell my wife that if I feel right, I can be justified.

For example, I cook a lot and am very confident in my cooking skills.

Once my wife made a dish of duck, and I thought it would be good to stir-fry it and simmer it.

But she said that it would be better to put it in a pressure cooker and press it better.

I said the pressure cooker was too badly pressed and didn't smell.

She insisted that the pressure cooker be cooked and tasty.

……

Of course, in the end, it will be her way, but I still feel uncomfortable at the time.

Why is she unreasonable?

But when she calmed down, she was not wrong, what she said made sense, she paid attention to the degree of familiarity, and I thought about how to keep the original flavor better.

Everyone has a reason, and when they fight, they all feel that the other party is unreasonable.

We will always stand on our own feet and stick to the side we see.

But we have forgotten love and tolerance.

For every family, the biggest consumption is quarrels.

Because there are no winners in family wars, only losers.

If two people keep fighting, no one will let anyone, and if they have to fight for a right or wrong, they will definitely not be able to get by.

And family wars often affect children.

In the face of parents who have been quarreling for a long time, children will have a lot of anxiety in their hearts.

Because children are afraid of parental separation, afraid of family division.

In the face of his wife's "unreasonableness", if the husband can take a step back in a timely manner, be tolerant.

A lot of arguments will be avoided.

Because many trivial matters in the family cannot be figured out by reasoning.

Everyone gets upset and upset at times, if you don't adjust it well, and you happen to hit the "muzzle".

He also angrily reasoned, argued, and barred.

It's bound to be a big fuss.

However, when I calmed down, I looked back.

only to find out that the little thing in the argument is really insignificant.

It's as if a person has exploded, forming an emotional vortex.

And another person got involved, and sped up.

Really, home is not a place of reason, but a place of love, tolerance, acceptance and trust.

Nowadays, in many families, the elderly live with their children.

Help take care of the children and take care of the family.

Three generations in the same house, happy and happy.

However, they will also argue because of the difference in the "three views".

For example, the parents of the older generation are more frugal.

When I go out to buy vegetables, I often pick those dishes that are not fresh at a discount.

Sometimes in order to go to the supermarket to buy some activity eggs, I queue up until my legs are weak, and I forget to pick up my children.

The elderly will feel that this is "going to live".

But young people feel that this is a reduction in living standards and a waste of time.

In the way children are cared for and the concept of parenting, it is a contradiction outbreak area.

For example, don't buy candy for your child to eat, but still take your child to buy it secretly.

said not to play mobile games in front of children, brush small videos, still can't help playing, and even quietly stuff the mobile phone for children to play.

At this time, you will feel that you can't control the child if you go on like this, and you must be reasonable.

However, many times we take it too seriously.

For example, I go back to my hometown every year for the Chinese New Year.

We always turn on all the lights in our house.

But grandma would close them one by one.

Once we were watching TV in the living room and a couple of relatives were playing cards.

She turned off one of my lights, and the light dimmed instantly.

I told her, turn it on quickly, don't save this bit of electricity.

She said yes, yes.

After a day, it was the same again.

I turned on the lights and she turned off the lights that she felt were redundant.

I know that she has always felt that turning on the lights costs electricity, and she has been used to it for so many years.

For example, when we are not at home, the headlights in the living room on the first floor of our hometown are hardly turned on.

Thinking about it this way, I figured it out too.

Just don't talk and let her be hers.

I'll just open it myself, or tell her, I'll turn these lights off, don't worry.

There are elderly people in the family, and children must learn to be tolerant and understanding, and not always fight about right and wrong.

The most important thing is to be able to make the elderly happy at home.

"Home and everything prospers", the simplest sentence, is also the expectation of countless Chinese families.

Where can and where it comes from, it is inseparable from tolerance and acceptance, and it is inseparable from the love between each other.

Next time, before you want to fight for right or wrong and get angry.

Remember: home is really not a place to reason, but a place to hide love and tolerate each other.

Moreover, in the family, the person who is willing to give in and admit defeat is more worthy of admiration.

This is not compromise and weakness, but more understanding of love and cherishing the happiness of the family.

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rgba(255, 255, 255, .1);--weui-RED: #fa5151;--weui-ORANGERED: #ff6146;--weui-ORANGE: #c87d2f;--weui-YELLOW: #cc9c00;--weui-GREEN: #74a800;--weui-LIGHTGREEN: #3eb575;;--weui-FIRE: #07c160;--weui-BLUE: #10aeff;--weui-INDIGO: #1196ff;--weui-PURPLE: #8183ff;--weui-WHITE: rgba(255, 255, 255, .8);--weui-LINK: #7d90a9;--weui-TEXTGREEN: #259c5c;--weui-FG: #fff;--weui-BG: #000;--weui-TAG-TEXT-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-RED: rgba(250, 81, 81, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-ORANGE: rgba(250, 157, 59, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .. 6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-GREEN: rgba(6, 174, 86, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .6);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLUE: rgba(16, 174, 255, .1);--weui-TAG-TEXT-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .5);--weui-TAG-BACKGROUND-BLACK: rgba(255, 255, 255, .05)}}@media screen and (min-width:1024px) and (prefers-color-scheme:dark){body:not(.pages_skin_pc) .wx-root:not([data-weui-theme=light]), 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