Kong Lingwen's identity is complex and unique - he is the eldest son of Nie Weiping, a legendary Chinese Go legend, but due to family changes, he moved to Japan with his mother at a young age, and finally chose Japanese nationality and married a Japanese woman.
What's even more striking is that the child of Kong Lingwen and his wife Kobayashi Qingya was born in Japan, but they were given a name full of Chinese cultural heritage - Kong Dezhi, behind this name, there is respect for family traditions and good expectations for the future of the child.
And behind this, there is a worrying detail - Kong Lingwen refused to let his son's surname Nie.
What kind of family story is hidden behind this decision? Is it a long-standing knot or a deep-seated cultural conflict? What kind of emotional entanglements and helplessness are hidden in Kong Lingwen's heart?
1. Deviation and determination
In 1991, Kong Lingwen stepped on a plane to Japan with his mother Kong Xiangming, who divorced his father, at this moment, the trajectory of his life underwent a fundamental change, and his name changed from "Nie Yuncong" to "Kong Lingwen".
At only ten years old, he faced an unknown living environment and cultural differences, but he also carried an invisible burden - it was a silent response to his father Nie Weiping, a firm decision to prove himself through Go.
After arriving in Japan, Kong Xiangming and Kong Lingwen started a new life. For Kong Lingwen, every day is about adapting and learning to a new environment.
Although the language and cultural barriers initially challenged him, his determination did not waver. On the contrary, these challenges strengthened his determination to become a professional chess player.
In order to achieve this goal, Kong Lingwen invested a lot of time and energy in the study of Go, spending every day in front of the chessboard and constantly honing his chess skills.
Although Kong Xiangming has reservations about Kong Lingwen's decision to become a professional chess player, she also understands her son's persistence and choice. During Kong Lingwen's Go training, Kong Xiangming tried his best to provide support, whether it was life care or spiritual encouragement.
She witnessed the effort and sacrifices Kong Lingwen put into the game, including giving up normal socializing and leisure time with his peers, and enduring loneliness and frustration in training.
Second, difficult persistence
From the moment Kong Lingwen decided to become a professional chess player, his life changed drastically.
Faced with a new environment and unfamiliar challenges, Kong Lingwen showed incredible perseverance and determination.
Every morning, when the first rays of sunlight shine through the curtains into the room, Kong Lingwen has already begun his daily practice - almost all of the day is devoted to the study and practice of Go.
His life was simple and repetitive, except for eating and sleeping, and the rest of the time was spent almost in front of the Go board.
Kong Lingwen turned his room into a small practice place, with Go games and game analyses plastered on the walls, and bookshelves piled up with all kinds of Go books. It was as if he was cutting off from the whole world, focusing all his energy on those four hundred intersections.
In the face of Kong Lingwen's persistence and efforts, Kong Xiangming began to gradually support him, although he was worried in his heart.
She learned that for Kong Lingwen, Go is not only a way to fight and win, but also a way for him to find his self-worth and prove himself.
Therefore, despite all the reluctance and worry in her heart, Kong Xiangming still did her best to provide Kong Lingwen with the resources and conditions to learn Go.
Kong Lingwen's progress is obvious. Not only did he improve his skills by leaps and bounds, but he also gained deep insights into understanding the philosophy and spirit of Go.
He began to be able to anticipate his opponent's intentions, using strategy and skill to lay out the chessboard, and every move was full of confidence and determination.
However, the road to becoming a professional chess player was far more difficult than Kong expected. Fixed-stage tournaments are a threshold that all those who want to become professional chess players must go through, and this tournament is known for its fierce competition and high level of challenge. Kong Lingwen is not only facing technical tests, but also psychological pressure and challenges.
During those months of competition, Kong Lingwen almost completely closed himself off, and he hardly communicated with the outside world except for participating in necessary competitions and training.
His life revolves entirely around Go, and every day he repeatedly studies the game, analyzes his own shortcomings, and looks for the weaknesses of his opponents.
When the results of the fixed-stage competition were announced, Kong Lingwen won the third place and was successfully promoted to the first stage of the major.
This moment, for Kong Lingwen, is not only the realization of personal honor, but also the best proof of his long-term efforts and persistence.
He knows that this is just the beginning and that there is still a long way to go to become a professional chess player, but this achievement gives him the motivation and confidence to keep going.
3. Transnational affection
During the years of living in Japan, the trajectory of Kong Lingwen's life has changed profoundly. Although his Go career is the main line of his life, Kong Lingwen has also ushered in a major change in his private life, especially the encounter and acquaintance with Kobayashi Qingya, which has added a new color to his life.
Satoru Kobayashi, a well-known grandmaster in the Go world, not only played an important role in Kong Lingwen's Go career, but also because his daughter Kobayashi Kiyoya was closely linked to Kong Lingwen's life.
Kobayashi Jue's home became a place for Kong Lingwen to learn and exchange Go, and it was also the starting point for his relationship with Kobayashi Kiyoya to gradually sprout.
Kobayashi Kiyoya has the gentleness and upbringing unique to Japanese women, and her understanding and love for Go have given her and Kong Lingwen more common language.
The countless exchanges between the two around the Go chessboard were not only discussions on technology and strategy, but also a common vision for life and the future. Over time, this communication evolved into a deep emotional connection.
The emotional development between Kong Lingwen and Kobayashi Qingya is both natural and profound. In Kobayashi's house, Kong Lingwen found a kind of family warmth, which he did not feel for a long time after leaving his father.
Kobayashi Jue and his wife's acceptance and love for Kong Lingwen allowed him to find his own place in this family. And the existence of Kobayashi Qingya made Kong Lingwen feel special warmth and support.
The wedding of the two was held in November 2003, which was not only the crystallization of the emotions of the two people, but also the fusion of two families and two cultures.
The wedding was simple and warm, with elements of Japanese tradition and some traditional Chinese customs, reflecting the respect and integration of the two people's cultures.
Life after marriage is a new beginning for Kong Lingwen. Not only did he continue to strive for excellence in Go, but more importantly, he found a sense of belonging and stability in the Kobayashi family. Kobayashi Kiyoya's support and understanding of Kong Lingwen provided him with a stable rear.
Between his Go career and family life, Kong Lingwen has found a balance that allows him to be more focused and committed to his career.
Intergenerational reconciliation
In the lives of Kong Lingwen and Kobayashi Qingya, the arrival of the child is undoubtedly a major turning point. This new life not only brings endless joy and hope to their family, but also inadvertently serves as a medium to ease the long-standing tension between Nie Weiping and Kong Lingwen.
When Kong Lingwen chose the name "Kong Dezhi" when choosing the name for his child, this decision contains respect for the family tradition and good expectations for the child's future.
Kong Dezhi's name was proposed by Kobayashi Satoru and his wife, and Kong Lingwen and Kobayashi Qingya jointly decided. Among them, the character "De" represents the ranking of generations in the Confucian family tree, while the character "Zhi" was personally selected by Kobayashi Satoru's wife to expect the child to have a firm will and noble virtue.
This choice not only shows the two companies' shared vision for the future generation, but also symbolizes the integration and inheritance of Chinese and Japanese cultures.
But when everyone asked Kong Lingwen why the child was not surnamed Nie, Kong Lingwen did not answer positively, silence was his attitude.
With the birth of Kong Dezhi, the change of Kong Lingwen's identity has brought him a new life experience and insight.
As a father, he began to understand more deeply the importance of family and the influence of parental roles on children's development. Kiyoya Kobayashi played a crucial role in this process, not only giving Kong Lingwen the greatest support and understanding in her daily life, but also actively promoting communication and exchanges between the Kong family and the Nie family.
Kobayashi Qingya often takes photos of Kong Dezhi and asks someone to bring them to Nie Weiping in various ways, hoping to ease the relationship between grandpa and dad through the child's innocent smile.
She knows that no matter what happened in the past, the connection and affection between family members should not be severed.
She also often proposes to take Kong Dezhi back to Beijing to meet Nie Weiping, hoping to take this opportunity to establish an emotional connection between her grandfather and grandson, and at the same time build a bridge of communication and understanding between Nie Weiping and Kong Lingwen.
5. Reunion and integration
In April 2006 in Beijing, spring was full of joy and everything was recovering. In such a season full of hope, Kong Lingwen took his family, especially his son Kong Dezhi, who was born to Kobayashi Kiyoya, back to the place where he had been away for many years.
For Kong Lingwen, this return to China is not only a simple family reunion, but also carries the far-reaching significance of rebuilding old friendships and reconciling with father and son.
After Kong Lingwen's family arrived in Beijing, the first thing they did was to arrange a meeting with Nie Weiping. Although the unpleasantness and misunderstandings in the past have complicated and delicate the relationship between father and son, Kong Dezhi's birth and this face-to-face exchange undoubtedly provided them with an opportunity to ease and communicate.
Kong Lingwen knows that this meeting is not only about the relationship between him and his father, but also about the possibility of understanding and reconciliation between the two generations.
When Kong Lingwen took Kong Dezhi into Nie Weiping's house for the first time, although the atmosphere was a little tense, Kong Dezhi's innocent smile quickly broke the embarrassment of the first meeting.
Nie Weiping looked at this long-lost grandson, and his eyes couldn't help but reveal complicated emotions. Years of separation and misunderstanding seem to have turned into invisible at this moment, leaving only the warmth and affection between family members.
In the following days, Kong Lingwen's family and Nie Weiping communicated and interacted as much as possible. They toured Beijing's places of interest together, reminisced about Kong Lingwen's childhood, and even enjoyed a few family dinners together.
These seemingly ordinary activities are actually silently mending the long-standing rift between father and son, and their relationship is gradually warming.
Especially between Nie Weiping and Kong Dezhi, although it was the first time they met, they quickly established a special friendship between ancestors and grandchildren. Nie Weiping would patiently tell Kong Dezhi about Go, take him for a walk in the park, and even teach him a few simple words of Beijing dialect.
This kind of interaction between ancestors and grandchildren not only shortened the distance between them, but also invisibly eased the relationship between Kong Lingwen and Nie Weiping.
Resources:
"Nie Weiping's grandson is still not surnamed "Nie"", Harbin Daily