Can East Asians living under sexual repression have sex?
This deafening sentence is the most popular Korean drama on Douban at the moment.
《好久没做》，Long Time No Sex，就是不带拐弯的字面意思：
It's been a long time since we've had sex.
East Asians never talk about sex, but that doesn't mean it's not important.
One can imagine such a picture.
After the wife took a bath and removed her hair, her jade feet provocatively burrowed into her husband's crotch, but the husband did not make any waves, "soft as a marshmallow".
If you are over 30 years old, or have been married for more than 5 years, or have been in a very long intimate relationship, I am afraid you have more or less encountered such moments -
The real embarrassment is not the absence of sex, but the misalignment of the libido levels of the two people.
But you may be about to say, that's not how an intimate relationship starts out.
That's right, impotence isn't made in a day.
When the man and woman first met, they were also upside down, sweating.
In the first shot of the whole play, the passion scene of splitting the head and covering the face was smashed, and the male and female protagonists even took off their underwear in the corridor, and as soon as they entered the house, it was the rhythm of a big battle.
But the reason why a sex comedy is not is that it "violates expectations".
Immediately after a transition, 7 years later, the husband and wife were two meters apart in the living room, each busy with their own business. Even if a woman wants to have sex, a man will only pretend to be stupid, after all, the soft lower body is really embarrassing.
They can't be blamed.
After all, there is not the slightest bit of a romantic sexual experience in this home.
The news is playing on TV: South Korea's economy is finished again, housing prices have fallen all the way, loan interest rates have gone up, and the people are miserable, and they have to repay more than 5,000 yuan in interest every month.
As soon as the camera turned, his wife Yuzhen could only eat kimchi and rice, and her husband Samuel drove a night taxi, and he would be scolded for a minute if he bought a cup of coffee.
The good news is that they bought a small house. The bad news is that as soon as the house is purchased, house prices start to fall all the way.
The voiceover is matched with the economic situation of the male and female protagonists, and the audience understands why these young people who were aroused by thunder and thunder at the beginning are now naked and relatively have no desire - because they are too poor, and the economic situation has led to the fluctuation of sexual desire.
But people always have needs, right? Don't worry, married people always have a way.
Yuzhen put his hand into his underwear in the living room, Samuel took advantage of the shower time in the bathroom to take advantage of the jet, and the two of them can divide two different spaces in a home of dozens of square meters, and at the same time reach orgasm by masturbating.
This is the tacit understanding of husband and wife, not to interfere with each other, to play their own games, and to respect each other while remaining faithful.
But the profession of the male and female protagonists is the easiest window to get in touch with secret sex.
Samuel is a taxi driver, and he hears the yellow whispers in the back seat.
Yuma is even more heavyweight, she is a hotel front desk, she has seen all kinds of cheating people, and secretly recorded their personal information in a notebook.
For example, the aunt who came to open the hourly room in a mountaineering suit, and the lover still slipped out of the funeral scene.
For example, in the hotel room after the war, the beds were stained with chocolate, and the trash can could turn up to three condoms.
Youzhen has seen the world: this must be an affair, because a real couple can never use three in one night.
By chance, the couple found the Fortune Sutra like a dead mouse when the blind cat met a dead mouse.
Samuel accidentally soaks his cab in the river while taking a nap on the night shift, along with the couple's precarious financial situation.
The insurance does not pay the claim, but can only be recognized. Not to mention the mortgage at home, I can't even pay the electricity bill.
Samuel was going to borrow money from his rich brother Jeong-so, but he accidentally discovered that his brother was cheating.
On the other side, the women's conversation also began.
The so-called water heater principle is that when the water is not hot when you take a bath, someone must be using water at the same time.
If the husband cheats, it is impossible for the wife not to notice it. And this wife's method of investigation is very special: the oral organs found that the other party "has a decrease in the amount of fluid".
For brother Zhengxiu, as long as he gets the fact that he cheated, it means that he has pinched his life, because his villa, Porsche, and brand-name clothes all rely on his rich mother's family.
Once you are caught cheating, it means that you are out of the house, which is about the same as bankruptcy.
In the face of extreme poverty, robbing the wealth of friends and helping one's own poverty is another kind of theft.
Youzhen agreed to the hush money of 30 million won (160,000 yuan) offered by the other party, and with this hush money, the couple finally took a breath and bought a brand new taxi.
But Xiangzi and Huniu in this drama didn't accept their fate, they didn't plan to continue pulling the car, they wanted to catch rapists and make money-
Since so many people have shady secrets, and they are willing to pay money to keep secrets, it is better to knock them off.
Thus, the story of the East Asian version of "Bonnie and Clyde" began.
Samuel drove a taxi to follow the person and secretly filmed all the crime, and then the two determined the amount of extortion according to the severity of the person's cheating and family background.
The first pair of prey was a small bank clerk who came to the hotel to open a room.
Tomojin and Samuel track them from the bank to the parking lot and find that the two of them are actually taking advantage of the 20-minute lunch break to get a car shock.
They chewed on a burger while doing a tandem cardio workout in the car, only to stop the workout after only 7 minutes.
Youzhen couldn't help but complain, just tossing for this 7 minutes for so long. How sad.
The young man's underground affair also fell apart because of the sex thief's rape action.
Before being caught and raped, the man recited a set of copy-and-paste words: Marriage is the grave of love, I just want to talk about love with you;
After being caught raped, the price was clearly marked, and the man said that he still had a pregnant wife and family, and even wanted to get back the rent of 3 million won (16,000 yuan) that he had lent to the woman before, without interest, for the sake of having love.
Therefore, the most stable relationship is always only the relationship of interests.
But the most impressive thing about this TV series is not the large-scale 19 forbidden lines and pictures, but a similar circular narrative structure.
At the beginning of each episode, there is a dry fire of men and women, and the naked desire makes people feel not sexy, but a kind of insatiable hunger.
At the end of each episode, we also see the hollowness and powerlessness behind this hunger.
is like the most daring line about "semen volume" in the whole play, but it comes from the mouth of a middle-aged woman who has no sex life. Because under the filing of marriage and reality, sex no longer has the shackles of shame for her.
And the most dark humorous moment in the whole play is the day when the husband and wife first got money.
Do you think they're going to spend a lot of time? quite the opposite.
Samuel used the money to celebrate his father's 70th birthday, saving face and inviting his father to drink the high-end Chinese liquor "Shuijingfang" (Koreans have a fascination with Shuijingfang), and Yuzhen used the money to pay for his niece's piano lessons.
Is there a more male and female thief in East Asia than this? Before killing people and setting fires, they must silently recite the phrase "all good deeds and filial piety come first."
Behind comedy there is always tragedy.
Behind the sex comedy, there are poor people who have no love to do.
Samuel in the play sees men and women who have been caught raping, and laments that women are always unladylike.
Youzhen's answer can be called the warning of the whole drama-
"In a country full of scum, it's normal to encounter scum. ”
"There is no unsympathetic woman in the Republic of Korea. ”
If it is said that catching a good brother and a bank clerk are both marital diseases that young people itch a little about, then the next two pairs of prey even have a trace of tragic heroism.
First, a sunset couple.
One thing that many people don't face up to is that older people also have a sexual desire. Even older people have sex more often than younger people.
As an East Asian, seeing the lips and tongues of two old people entangled, I am afraid that most people's first reaction is "against Tiangang". But the next picture is more exciting, and the woman begins to make intense mouth movements for the man.
Unexpectedly, a force, the woman's jaw dislocated.
Because of the cheating relationship between the two, the man couldn't even take her to the hospital, nor could he help her call 120, and the man who left in a hurry was hit by Yuzhen at the front desk of the hotel: The Rolex in the man's hand was shining, and he was going to get rich this time.
Yuzhen and Samuel followed the two old men all the way, first following them up the mountain, then following them to the beach, following them all the way, and finally successfully sending a ransom letter to the two old men.
As a result, things are not as simple as the audience thinks.
Instead of giving the rape team a penny, the woman wrote a letter.
In this letter, the duckweed-like life of most East Asian mothers is condensed: giving birth to a child, two, three, four, or five, but never experiencing the feeling of kissing in their life.
The woman's name is Young-ae, and she runs a small restaurant, and she works non-stop every day like an old cow, soaking in oil and vegetable leaves. When she got home, she continued to serve her husband and son, with endless chores waiting for her, blocking the TV when mopping the floor, and being kicked away by her husband. In an ironic family photo, the husband and sons stand proudly together, and the lonely Ying-ai huddles up with a teddy puppy to the side.
She said: I have lived a life surrounded by men, but no man treats me as an equal human being.
Until she met this man named Jiang Baihu.
On the way up the mountain, a gust of wind blew off her wig, which covered her gray hair, and the wig fell right into the man's hand. Ying Ai, who was so embarrassed that she was embarrassed, immediately covered the top of her skull, so ashamed that she couldn't say a word, but she didn't expect the man to smile at her and take off the wig on the top of her head.
The two old men looked at each other and laughed like children.
Of course, Ying Ai knows that cheating is wrong, but Ying Ai knows even more that she has experienced the feeling of being cherished and loved for the first time, and she also knows for the first time that sex can be pleasurable, and sex is to do happy things with a lover.
Rather than watching East Asian mothers be bound by patriarchal morality and ethics under structural oppression, I would rather watch them cheat and watch them enjoy sex.
Ying Ai waited 60 years for her first love, but more East Asian mothers did not wait for that day until they died.
The second couple is a sexual minority.
The two girls were entangled and were about to make a fire when they were interrupted by a phone call.
The woman picked up the phone, immediately put away her boiling desires, and began to answer with a grovel.
It turns out that the woman has married into a wealthy family and has to deal with an extremely picky and Christian mother-in-law. The "cheating" with her underground girlfriend is a break from her canary prison life.
Samuel, a taxi driver, hears their little secret and immediately remembers the woman's luxury complex. The next day, the couple began to follow this strange and humble daughter-in-law of a wealthy family.
All choices will come at a price, just like a woman who chooses a doctor's husband worth 300 million won, she is destined to face a high-spirited in-law.
She wore an apron every day, was busy in the kitchen, and lived like a high-class servant. At her mother-in-law's girlfriend party, she had to bring tea, hand water, cut fruit plates, and even give gifts to her sister-in-law's family, and she had to make them one by one.
In South Korea, there is only one job with no class distinction, and that is a daughter-in-law.
Regardless of whether you are rich or poor, as long as you stand in front of the Confucian standard of respect and inferiority, you will always be suppressed by a huge tablet. Even if you won the Nobel Prize yesterday, you still have to put slippers on your mother-in-law when you go home today.
When she was resting, she could only hide in the utility room like a maid, but she overheard the conversation between her mother-in-law and sister-in-law: even if she is a doctoral daughter-in-law who graduated from New York and marries into a Korean family, she has to be obediently a cow and a horse.
The role of the father disappears, and the administrator of the acting patriarchy becomes every evil mother-in-law with a similar face. This is the interlocking same-sex exploitation of East Asian women.
Only in the face of an underground girlfriend can a woman go from a tight and humble quail to a wanton peacock. They smoke, drink, drag race, and do everything that violates East Asian ethics.
Only in this moment of cheating that violates the marriage contract can we see the traces of her life. But it's a pity that the maximum rebellion of a Korean woman is nothing more than that.
After the next phone rang, she had to put away all her anger again, go back to the kitchen, and continue to play the role of a filial subordinate.
Maybe Youzhen didn't expect that in the end, he would catch his husband.
After reading all kinds of cheating stories, the couple also found that their marriage was a two-way derailment: the wife opened a house with her ex-boyfriend, and the husband had a crush on the female neighbor.
Sure enough, no marriage stands up to scrutiny.
In the end, this sex comedy turned into a farce of forced divorce -
Samuel pointed to his wife's nose and said, "You are such an aggressive woman, who sees that you can have sexual desire?"
Yuma pointed to Samuel's lower body and said, It's because you can't do it that I have to go out to find another man.
Why haven't you had sex in a long time?
Obviously, no one is cold sex in the first place, why has impotence become the final end of marriage?
This is no longer an unfamiliar issue for Koreans.
As early as 2006, Pfizer's sexual life survey recorded the decline of sexual desire among young Koreans: the frequency of sexual life among young people in their 20s and 30s is lower than that of middle-aged people in their 40s and 50s.
In the 2011 survey, South Koreans' sex life data performed even worse.
South Koreans have an average of 1.04 sexual intercourse times per week (the world average is 1.5), the lowest among the countries surveyed. On the other hand, the rate of experiencing avoidance from a sexual partner is as high as 48%.
In 2018, South Koreans' performance in bed still did not improve. According to the 2018 Global Masturbation Survey conducted by TENGA, a global health care company, South Korea ranked second to last among the 18 countries surveyed in terms of comprehensive assessment of sexual performance and satisfaction with partner relationships.
In 2020, a Yonsei University research team conducted a survey of 2,100 men and women over the age of 19 living in the Seoul area and released the 2021 Seoul Residents' Sex Life Report.
According to the data, 36% of people have not had sex in the past year, of which 43% are women and 29% are men.
A closer look at the report reveals that frigidity in South Korea is a very complex complex:
Women don't have sex because they're not interested in men, and men don't have sex because they can't find women.
With the rise of the feminist movement in South Korea, the ideological tendencies of men and women diverged, with women emphasizing independence and autonomy more and more, while men tended to be more conservative and traditional.
Yeom You-sik, a sociology professor at Yonsei University who conducted the survey, pointed out that Korean men and Korean women have different reasons for refusing sex. For women, "lack of interest" was cited as the biggest reason (24%), and for men, "not having a partner" was the biggest reason (15%).
"As women's interest in sex declines, the number of partners for men naturally decreases, and they also unconsciously enter a sexless life. ”
But that's not enough.
The economic situation is not only the best contraceptive, but also the most perfect impotence kit.
Love is done by the rich, and the poor will only worry about whether they can afford to pay next month's rent.
Seventy-nine percent of middle-class men surveyed said they had had sex in the past year, compared to 67 percent of lower-class men.
Correspondingly, the frequency of sexual activity among middle-class women (65%) is also higher than that of women at the bottom (53%), because the sex life of women at the bottom is affected by factors such as the cost of time, childbirth, and parenting. After all, when a woman becomes 82-year-old Kim Ji-young, I'm afraid she is not in the mood to start a sudden sex life.
In MBC's report "Marriage Hell," experts and professors in South Korea studied frigidity among young people. It was found that fatigue and stress were the top causes of crushing the sex life of Koreans.
Just imagine, the husband and wife go home from work 996 every day,
After being taught a lesson by the leader in the company, and going home to find that the stock has fallen again, who is still in the mood to get up and do a 10-minute aerobic exercise?
At this time, everyone will be grateful for the blessing of impotence.
Back in the TV series, what first pushed the couple to embark on the road of extortion was actually the poverty faced by ordinary people.
Youzhen found that the price of the house he bought kept falling, and the intermediary's aunt said this: In these years, people who don't have a house and no loan are the most relaxed people.
Tomoma and Samuel are the epitome of all ordinary couples.
didn't eat, drink, prostitute and gamble, didn't spend money indiscriminately, went to work step by step, honestly bought a house and paid off the loan, and in the end, in exchange for even the basic life, he could only eat kimchi and rice.
How did life come to this?
In Korea, all efforts must be multiplied by the luck of reincarnation, and if the luck of reincarnation is 0, then everything comes down to 0.
There is a saying in Korea called the "spoon class theory", which uses a golden spoon, a silver spoon, an earthen spoon, and a spoon as a metaphor for the family class background. For example, a typical ordinary family is a "soil spoon", and the identification criteria include: whether there is any debt in the family, whether your parents have taught you to "don't waste food" since childhood, whether there is a bathtub at home, whether the TV is more than 30 inches, and whether you can often eat meat dishes on the dinner table.
On the other hand, the children of the Golden Spoon family were born with two passports, and their parents borrowed the name of their children to avoid taxes, launder money, and speculate in stocks, and at the youngest age, they have seen the world that 99% of ordinary people have never seen in their lives.
Just like when the husband and wife had to worry about even a cup of coffee in order to save money, the children of rich friends have already learned to speculate in stocks with 1 million won (5,333 yuan) of pocket money.
And Yuzhen's niece, who is obviously a piano genius, her mother can't even afford a decent dress, and would rather the child be a mediocre person, and would rather she never take the first place again.
Because some first places are not reserved for ordinary children.
Such a country has become a "hell of North Korea" that young South Koreans hate.
The reason why it is called North Korea, not South Korea, is because the word refers to the ancient Joseon Dynasty.
After all, only a feudal society would make ordinary people lose sight of any hope of changing the class.
Except for a few people at the top of the pyramid, the rest can only be ghosted in the cycle of "hereditary poverty" -
Only if the family has money and power can they afford to pay the tuition fee to enter the SKY prestigious university, only when they enter the SKY prestigious university can they find a job in the chaebol group, and only when they find a job in the chaebol group can their children be admitted to the SKY famous university......
If you need to patch this sentence, it is that admission to a prestigious university does not guarantee 100% security, just like Samuel graduated from Seoul National University (Cheongbuk, South Korea) and returned as a Didi driver.
The end result is the reality of South Koreans being heavily indebted.
Morgan Stanley's 2023 report pointed out that total spending on personal luxury goods in South Korea rose 24% in 2022 to $16.8 billion. According to the Institute of International Finance, South Korea is also the only country in the world where its debt exceeds GDP. There are young people everywhere who buy bags in installments for two years and borrow money to buy second-hand Porsches.
That's right, they're just crazy. Because in the absence of any hope on the road ahead, "it is better to die than to live and not play".
Revenge on society is nothing, revenge on oneself is the most cruel form of self-abuse.
The husband goes to work, the wife cooks porridge, and buys a house to pay off the mortgage step by step - this picture condenses the lives of thousands of East Asians.
If the result of half a lifetime of hard work is spicy cabbage bibimbap all day long, then the meaning of hard work will soon dissipate.
Thus, when the whole society loses its vitality, sexuality becomes the last luxury.
... ...
Produced by | Tiger Sniff Youth Culture Group
Author | Cucumber soda
#Korean drama##Mortgage##负债#