Why are more and more people reluctant to get married?
According to media reports, 54 percent of the population is single in Berlin, 47.1 percent of young men in 30-34 are unmarried in Japan, and 50.2 percent of Americans over the age of 16 are single......
Let's look at two more interesting sets of data:
In 2021, the number of singles in China has approached 240 million, which is equivalent to the entire population of Russia and the United Kingdom combined.
In 2021, the divorce rate in mainland China will continue to be as high as 3.3‰, which is the 19th consecutive year of increase.
Adding the three sets of data together, it is not difficult to find a marriage: fewer knots and more divorces, which is no wonder that there are more single people. 50.7% of people are restricted by a fixed social circle, and 47.5% of people are single because they are homely and do not like to socialize.
Another 46% are single because they are not good at expressing themselves. In addition, 44.7% of people are addicted to the online world and are unwilling to return to reality. 41.7% of people don't know how to get along with the opposite sex at all, and 29.3% of people don't have time to fall in love because they are too busy with work.
Perhaps because the essence of love is an exchange of "feelings", and the essence of marriage is an exchange of "values".
"Value" is a dimension higher than "feelings", when you fall in love, you only need to rely on feelings, and you can make each other happy, but once you get married, what determines whether the marriage can be long-term depends on whether two people can continue to provide "value" to each other.
Therefore, when you are in love, appearance, figure, charm, humor, and even piano, chess, calligraphy and painting are the keys to attracting each other, but in marriage, these will all fail and become boring, because there is only value exchange in marriage.
A boy A: I am 26 years old and can get more than 1w a month's after-tax salary in a county in a third- and fourth-tier city in China.
When I went on a blind date, I was disgusted by the 28-year-old sister (little fairy) who was a clerk in a clothing store and got a basic salary of 3,000 + more than 1,000 commissions a month, saying that I was not motivated and had no ability
I:?
Eldest Sister: Do you have a room?
Me: No, 1w5 is too expensive to buy a square, and the money saved is only enough to buy a toilet.
The eldest sister (with a look of disgust): The man I am looking for is a 25-year-old who is the little sister looking for, who opened 911 and lives in Greentown Mansion, the most expensive community in our local area. Give your sister 2w pocket money a month, do you think you are qualified to talk to me?
I looked at my eldest sister's body, and at a glance at the fake Canada goose coat and the Nike of Putian A goods, I fell into deep thought....
The redder than my face was the matchmaker who sat next to me and didn't say a word
Girl B: Because, the longer a woman is single and independent, the more she does everything by herself, and the more money she has, the more she feels. Men don't seem to be of much use except having children...
Younger or poorer women feel that men can bring love or improve living conditions. Traditional women will feel that men are the pillars of the family, and they will not be bullied and instructed.
But urban women who are 30 years old and above are alive. Especially women whose living standards are okay, they clearly know that it is impossible to improve their living conditions with their own age, and their living conditions are not so bad that they have to be subsidized.
If she can make up for her, she can't look down on her, and she needs to make up for it, and she can't figure out what to look for such a picture? As for love, they are all in their 30s, who doesn't know that love is an instantaneous thing, isn't the pursuit of this a mirror? Where does a lifetime of love come from?
As for the traditional pressure, the mortgage has resisted, and it is not casual to carry these false tricks. As for big and small things, no one is mentally retarded, just take the idea yourself.
Now more and more older men are also tending to this mentality, I can do anything, the standard of living is also good, as long as I don't want children, what is the use of women?
So, if you can figure out why men don't want to get married, you can also figure out why women don't want to get married, it's the same thing. The point is, getting married, it's not really useful.
Girl C: As far as I'm concerned, I don't see the need to get married.
1. I don't plan to have children for the time being.
2. My own economy is coping well, and I am very satisfied with the current quality of life, and I don't need someone to cooperate to reduce the cost of living. On the other hand, I felt that it was difficult for someone to get involved in my financial arrangements.
3. I tend to be financially independent from anyone, I am averse to being financially tied to anyone, and I am not very able to accept that the other party will lower my quality of life, nor do I have the need to improve my own quality of life.
4. I don't need to get social proof in marriage.
5. I have a bit of a sense of ritual...... Tsundere. What I believe is that as Dzongsar Rinpoche said, the one thing to say at the wedding is: I know you love each other today, but tomorrow you may not be......
6. I don't think the goal of love is to grow old together for a lifetime. My mindset is we'll see.
7. I think the only thing two people choose to be together is feelings. But marriage does not determine and protect feelings.
8. I don't pursue or need someone to go to the future or exist in my future.
So, I think it's good to have people who like each other and be together, and I really don't see what marriage can bring me and us.
If you don't like it one day, you have to get a divorce......
Well, this is not about offending people by telling them what they should do. Just saying that I don't want to do anything will make some people feel offended......
In fact, I think that many people don't want to get married, maybe because they like freedom, maybe they are afraid of getting married, but maybe like all choices in life, when people choose marriage, there will be inevitable "gains" and inevitable "losses". Marriage is not a fairy tale, it contains an objective cruelty: we have all lost a lot of possibilities because of this contract.
A good life is not necessarily only through marriage, and marriage is not necessarily for everyone, but there will be people who can find the best evidence of human nature in marriage. I hope that the young people who see this answer, whether they choose to enter a marriage or not, can live happily and beautifully.