Living in 7 countries alone with a baby: between a chicken baby and lying flat, I choose to "get out of the circle"
The following article is from Jing Kids Beijing, written by Jing Beijing
Highlights Educate children whether they should be chicken babies or lie flat? Between the two, Vita chose to "get out of the circle". Vita used to be a top student, but after high school, she lost her enthusiasm for learning due to a plummeting ranking and almost became depressed. After becoming a mother, she didn't want to repeat the mistakes of the past, so she decided to educate her children in a different way.
Text丨A Vinegar Editor丨Yuan Zixi
Don't want to replicate learning anxiety,
So I took the baby and "escaped".
In my second year as a mother, I decided to take my children to live abroad.
It was still during the epidemic, and there were few opportunities to go outside after the child was born, and staying at home was really not good for the child's growth. After thinking about it for a long time, taking my child out of the house became my goal that year, and I wanted to take him to some countries to see the scenery outside of home.
More importantly, I also need a long period of "wandering" to empty myself, to think about how to give my child a happier and more relaxed growth environment, and not let him repeat my anxiety back then.
I studied in Beijing in primary school and junior high school, and until I was 16 years old, my academic performance was at the top of my grade, and I thought that studying was too easy. However, after the high school entrance examination, I transferred to a high school in Shanghai, where there were many top students, and I was no longer among the best.
The huge gap between "I can no longer be the number one" makes me feel very deeply frustrated.
Worse than that, I suddenly realized that I didn't really love learning, and I realized that I had no passion for knowledge at all. Not only me, but there are also some students in my class who used to study very well, but when they go to high school, they suddenly find that they can't study anymore.
That terrible state lasted my entire high school and still affects me today. Until now, when I prepare for the TOEFL exam, I still have a sense of fear of being "forced to study".
I know too well the pain of that kind of "flattering learning", so when many parents of older children around me say to me categorically, "You will definitely have a chicken baby in the future", I will be very resolute to say that I do not buy a school district house and do not want to put pressure on my children to study.
In the face of the pressure of the environment, I really can't bear it on my own. But can I find a way to get out of this environment and protect my child's instinctive liking?
Experiencing "Happy Education" in Schools in Various Countries
We have been to 7 countries so far, Thailand and the UK are the countries where we have lived for a long time and attended kindergarten.
I don't have high requirements for kindergarten, just have a safe and happy environment.
I remember when I first arrived in Thailand, my son was a little uncomfortable because he couldn't understand Thai, and I wanted him to go to kindergarten in Thailand, but he would be very resistant. I didn't force it, and took him to Bangkok and Chiang Mai for a while.
Coincidentally, many parents in China wanted to know about international schools in Chiang Mai, and I took my son to visit a local international kindergarten, and when he came back, my son took the initiative to say that he liked the school very much and wanted to go. I was so happy that I applied for a kindergarten interview and received an offer of admission not long after.
It turns out that it is right to respect the child's choice.
My son's love for Chiang Mai kindergarten is beyond my imagination.
Soon after entering kindergarten, the school ushered in the super long holiday of Songkran Festival in Thailand. During that time, we went to Malaysia and Singapore, and I thought that after playing for so long during the holidays, my son would resist going back to school, but on the first day of school, he got up very early, pulled me to the classroom first, and jumped on the classroom mat for a long time.
The Thai teachers we met were very nice.
The teacher always gives praise and encouragement to the children, and after school, the class teacher will talk to each parent about the child's situation that day;
The kindergarten has an online platform, which will upload real-time videos of their children in the kindergarten every day, as well as a very detailed text introduction. It makes me feel that such an environment is safe and healthy for children.
After living in Chiang Mai for half a year, I got my UK visa approved. In order to experience a different life, I took my son to the UK again.
Unlike international kindergartens in Chiang Mai, there are no international kindergartens in the UK, only public and private, and after renting a house in the centre of Birmingham, I chose a very ordinary private kindergarten for my son, but very close to home.
The good thing is that 90% of kindergartens in the UK have a policy:
Children between the ages of three and four can go to school for free for 15 hours a week. If the parent has a long-term visa to the UK, and the child meets the age and school requirements, they can enjoy this policy.
Now my son goes to school four hours a day, four days a week, and only needs to pay one hour a week.
Every day when my son comes back from kindergarten, he will say a lot of things about "eating, drinking, and playing". One day he said that a child from the kindergarten did not come and went to live in a tent with his family. It sounded hilarious, but I could sense that he genuinely enjoyed going to kindergarten.
He never cried because he went to kindergarten, but he was happy every day, which was the most gratifying thing for me.
I want the baby to grow up quickly,
Just let him "grow wildly"
Although the children are happy in kindergarten, it is currently difficult for us to fully settle in a country.
My UK visa expires next summer and I've been preparing my application to study in the US recently, and if successful, I could stay in the US for a little longer.
When many people heard about our experience, they would advise me, "The baby is so small, don't take him out to toss." "But in fact, my son doesn't feel a toss, he likes to go out and play and doesn't feel tired.
Children are more adaptable than adults, and every time I go to another country, it takes me more than a week to adjust to jet lag, and my son is alive and well in less than two days.
And in the past two years of traveling around, I have found that my son, who was already an extrovert, is now more outgoing.
For him, as long as there are children of the same age, no matter what country they are in, whether they know each other or not, he takes the initiative to greet them enthusiastically and play happily together.
Some people also felt that I was too tired to take care of the children by myself, and suggested that I leave it to the old man to bring, but I did not agree. I have my own attachments when it comes to raising children.
Since the child was a child, I have been alone with it, and for me, there is no difficulty in taking the child alone. A lot of the time, I'm trying to protect my child's intellectual curiosity, and my child is really growing up fast and sensible.
When I was about six or seven months old, I put him on the dining chair and let him learn to "eat on his own" with his food, and let him know that eating is his own business.
After the age of one, he suddenly loves to eat and can eat a lot with a spoon on his own. Now he not only knows what he likes to eat, but he also knows what he likes to eat, and he is not a picky eater of all kinds of fruits, vegetables, and meats.
In terms of interest and learning, I rarely interfered with him, and the most I did was to encourage. Half a month ago, every time he painted, he would draw out of the frame, he was very anxious, blaming himself for not drawing well. At this time, I would advise him, "Don't worry, you're only four years old, and I can't write a word when I'm four years old." Later, he went to study it himself, and recently he has made great progress in drawing and writing.
I've been communicating with my son since he couldn't speak.
For example, we have to walk to a place.
Before going out, I would ask him, "We're going to walk outside for about 10 minutes, do you want to ride a scooter or walk?" You can bring a scooter, if you don't have a scooter, when you feel tired, your mom can hug you for a while, but you also have to walk by yourself for a while. ”
In this way, he will think, and he will not be vexatious.
Let's say we want to go to a playground, but we find that the playground is closed.
He was very disappointed, and I would explain to him, "Mom didn't figure this out, let's play in another place first, and come here next time, okay?"
Now my son is four years old, and he is already very good at expressing his thoughts like an adult. Sometimes when I criticize him for being wrong, he will correct me, and even express his own dissatisfaction, saying "I'm angry right now", which I think is good.
I believe that in order to cultivate children's love for life and learning, parents must first give up some "rules and regulations".
Allow the child to "grow wildly."
”。
Sometimes I think of some of my friends' children, who go to school in Beijing's Haidian District, and have good academic performance, but after middle school, some children suffer from depression, and some children even suspend school or have bigger problems. It also made me reflect on my education for my children.
Recently, every day, after dropping my child off at kindergarten, I would go to a nearby café to start my work. The environment is very comfortable, sitting there for a day, drinking coffee and writing copywriting, it seems to go back to the time when I went to school and wrote homework.
This is the life I want to experience with my baby, and I don't regret it.
Discover quality education
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