The genius boy almost died because of the chicken baby: from "Tsinghua University and Peking University can be picked at will" to "just be alive"

Author: Xiao Tian, the main creative group

Not long ago, I read a report about mainland snowboarder Zeng Wenyi, and I was deeply moved.

Born in 1995, he is a talented skier, who has already excelled in several competitive snowboard competitions at a young age. At the beginning of 2019, he was also selected for the Chinese Olympic selection project to train in Switzerland with the best evaluation results.

Who would have thought that such a potential sports rookie would be associated with skiing but a "helpless move" by his parents.

It turned out that Wen Yi's father used to be a typical chicken baby parent, always forcing his children to learn piano and Olympiad mathematics, and thought that "if you don't learn well, you don't work hard enough." ”

Under such pressure, Wen Yi had a psychological problem. He became crying, always fighting with himself, and couldn't accept the slightest defeat. To make matters worse, he also contracted a heart attack for no apparent reason, and at one point was so serious that he was admitted to the ICU.

In the face of life and death, the panicked parents quickly stopped all tutoring. They decided to accept their son's imperfections, and their expectations for him dropped again and again from "Tsinghua University and Peking University to pick at will", and finally changed to "just live".

In the free tutoring time, my parents took Wenyi into skiing. Unexpectedly, the boy fell in love with the sport and showed unlimited potential.

From a dying child with heart disease to a radiant athlete, Zeng Wenyi's growth experience is infinitely emotional.

He was once unfortunate and almost fell victim to his parents' high expectations;

He is undoubtedly lucky, he found his passion by mistake, and his life is open.

But, how many children can be like Zeng Wenyi?

Involution of education, anxious parents

Reunion with old classmates years ago. Everyone is a mother, and babies are a must-talk topic.

Everyone unanimously feels the same way - today's education is too much!

Due to the local promotion policy, the selection of junior high schools and the qualifications of the three good students in the primary school stage are directly linked, so almost every parent has planned the chicken baby route from the first grade of their children: the main courses such as language, mathematics and English must not be left behind, in addition to the development of various specialties, art, sports, science and technology interest classes are all arranged.

Ask the friends who were present that day, everyone's children have at least two training courses. Among them, there is even a mother who enrolled her son in seven or eight courses at the same time, and the annual tuition fee will be tens of thousands of yuan.

In this regard, she said bluntly: "To put it bluntly, it is to be able to evaluate the three good students and add points to the child's resume." So even if the child doesn't like it, you have to do it. ”

Pity the hearts of parents all over the world. For the sake of their children's future, parents scattered their money and broke their hearts.

In terms of the type of chicken baby, it is also divided into "meat chicken" and "vegetarian chicken". The former focuses on subjects other than language and mathematics, focusing on various competitions, while the latter aims to develop talents and specialties, including music, art, sports, etc.

There are even quite a few parents who choose "meat and vegetarian" matching, grasping both hands, and the chicken baby is all-round.

In fact, behind this involution, the idea of adults is very simple - they are afraid that their children will fall behind others, be eliminated in the fierce competition for higher education, fail to be admitted to the ideal school, and eventually fail to live a decent life.

Just like the mother Mita in the movie "The Starting Line", she worries about her daughter all day long: "If you can't get into a good school, you won't have a good job, your daughter's friends will surpass her, she will be lonely, she will feel like a failure, she will give up on herself, and she may start taking drugs......"

In this way, driven by anxiety, parents have poured into the army of chicken babies, and there is no most volume, only more volume.

What happened to those babies who were desperately chickened?

For many parents, the purpose of the chicken baby is to let their children enter prestigious schools, increase the bargaining chips of competition, and achieve success in the secular sense.

Oriented to further education, the goal is realistic. But what does this process mean for children?

In the book "Mom! This Is My Life", you may be able to find the answer.

The mother of the author, Wang Appetite, is a typical practitioner of the concept of "chicken baby". Under her planning, her daughter began to attend various interest classes such as musical instruments, art, and physical education at the age of four or five, and spent all her spare time in tutoring in primary and secondary school, and participated in almost all the popular tutoring classes on the market at that time. In this way, she "chickened" her daughter all the way to Beijing No. 4 Middle School, a top famous school.

In the eyes of others, this is a successful example of parents who spare no effort to chicken babies. But from a child's point of view, this process brings a lot of shadows to their own growth.

In the book, Wang Appetite admits frankly that the memories of running around various cram schools when he were a student were not pleasant.

And the experience of being "chicken" since she was a child has caused her long-term anxiety. This anxiety permeates every aspect of her daily life, leaving her in a constant state of tension, not knowing how to relax and play, and feeling guilty as soon as she stops trying.

At the same time, she also found that she could not be happy from the bottom of her heart, and even tried to commit suicide while studying abroad......

In real life, there are more children who are "chickens" who are suffering from hidden pain that we can't see.

A few days ago, my nephew, who was in the second year of junior high school, told us that a classmate in his next class jumped off the building.

The child is a top student, and it is said that her family education is strict, and her parents are very close to her studies.

This time, she failed in the final exam, and was criticized by her parents after she went back, but she couldn't think about it, and she went to a dead end.

Reality has repeatedly shown that when adults only care about grades, higher education, and rankings, chicken babies will only make children either overwhelmed and less and less resilient, or suffer from hollow heart disease and cannot find their own value in life, or become refined egoists who will do whatever it takes for profit.

As William Dresiewicz, a former professor at Yale University, said in his book "The Good Sheep": "I have seen many friends around me who sacrifice their health, friendship, love, personal exploration, extracurricular activities, and so on for the sake of grades and resumes." And these sacrifices are the building blocks of a person's heart and soul. ”

The education you receive as a child will subtly affect the direction of your child's life. And the blind and utilitarian chicken baby will eventually ruin the child's life.

Understanding the key point of the chicken baby is the most important

Dr. Wu Jun, a computer expert, pointed out in his book "Excellence" that parents should return to education itself in the process of raising a baby, especially to dispel the following three "educational misunderstandings":

First, "the success of education is to believe that children must be better than themselves, and to go to a better school than themselves." ”

There are many kinds of success in life, parents need to change their minds, as long as their children live a wonderful life and realize their own value, it is actually success.

Second, "I think that in first-tier cities, children must have more chances to be admitted to good universities than in other places." ”

In fact, the more developed the education, the greater the competition and pressure for children to go on to higher education.

Third, "I think that children can only have a future if they go to a prestigious school." ”

In Dr. Wu Jun's view, life is like a marathon, and getting a diploma from a prestigious school is just a good position in the marathon, which does not mean that everything is fine. The vast majority of people actually don't make it to the end of the race at all.

Starting from a higher position, he put forward his own point of view - "Education is a lifelong thing, and the last laugh is the one who receives education for a lifetime." ”

In fact, there is nothing wrong with the chicken baby itself, but it is only a means. As parents, what we need to do is to take a long-term view, not just to go on to higher education, but to focus on the whole life of our children.

Professor Li Meijin once revealed that her daughter was not good at math when she was in middle school, and she only scored 15 points in the exam, and even the teacher asserted that the child could not be admitted to university.

For this reason, she did not force her daughter to make up for math, because she knew that this was a shortcoming in the child's talent. On the contrary, she chose to actively communicate and communicate with her daughter, accompany her to explore, and re-plan for the future.

Later, her daughter expressed her idea of learning music to Li Meijin, and she also discovered her child's talent in this area in time.

With her encouragement and support, her daughter's artistic expertise was fully explored, and she was finally admitted to a key university through the art examination, and became a music teacher after graduation, living a happy life.

An education expert once said, "The success of true education is to raise a child who is physically and mentally in harmony." ”

In fact, instead of obsessing over the child's scores and rankings every time, what we really want to "chicken" is the child's ability to adapt to future development, a strong heart in the face of setbacks, and a strong body to resist diseases, so that he can become a healthy and mentally mature person.

Therefore, to a certain extent, the real connotation of the chicken baby is to let the child "just live" - in this rapidly changing world, live happily and happily.