Text | Mi Li's mother
A love drama successfully washed away Zhou Zhouwei. Mi Li's mother still clearly remembers that the stalk of "giving steps" at the beginning made Zhou Zhouwei lose how much of the mass base.
Zhu Dan once said on the show: "When my husband quarrels, he says a sentence: You'd better come down the steps I give you, if you don't go down, there will be no steps behind." I won't dare to quarrel with my husband again. ”
As soon as this stalk came out, Zhou Yiwei didn't love Zhu Dan's hat and buttoned it for several years, although Mi Li's mother looked at Zhu Dan in this variety show, Zhu Dan already wanted to forcibly whitewash her husband, but Zhou Yiwei didn't cooperate much.
But all in all, through some whitewashing, the current reputation is much better. And the name of the "bad husband" was successfully deducted on Wu Jing's head.
Wu Jing's overturn
Recently, the whole network has been complaining about Wu Jing, because in variety shows, he is really bad to Xie Nan.
In a previous show, Yang Di asked Xie Nan a question:
"If there is a next life, will you still choose to marry Wu Jing?"
Xie Nan's expression was calm, and he said seriously:
"No, it won't. ”
At that time, the people who ate melons thought it was the effect of the show, but now this video has been turned out again, but it has become evidence that Wu Jing is indeed bad for Xie Nan.
For example, the most famous meme: "eating noodles".
At that time, the two of them had just come home from outside, and Xie Nan didn't want to cook, so he asked Wu Jing to cook the noodles by himself.
Laughing, Wu Jing made chicken noodle soup.
Served on the table, began to eat to himself.
Xie Nan, who was sorting things out next to him, was stunned for the moment:
"You're going to eat it?"
However, Wu Jing did not notice Xie Nan's loss, and still concentrated on eating noodles.
After a few bites, he asked Xie Nan if he wanted to "taste it".
When Xie Nan said, "You should take the initiative to ask me to eat together", he asked in shock:
"Didn't you see it?"
In a word, the husband's neglect became the wife's fault.
It also ignited a dispute between the two.
Xie Nan felt that Wu Jing should take the initiative to ask himself to eat together, instead of eating first;
Wu Jing felt that there was no need to say this, Xie Nan was just "picking thorns".
Two people pressed the "pause button".
Xie Nan entered the blind spot of monitoring, saying that he was touching up his makeup, or maybe he secretly cried.
Wu Jing, on the other hand, went upstairs to the bathroom alone, and after not staying for a while, he threw the towel hard against the wall.
He also proudly showed off to Yu Qian in variety shows about how he usually gets along with his daughter-in-law, saying that he often gives Xie Nan a big cold face.
Xie Nan tried his best to buy him the clothes, he may have been irritable at the time, so he didn't want to try it, and directly said that he couldn't wear it. Xie Nan asked him to "give it a try", and after he put it on, his clothes broke directly.
When he said this, he didn't feel guilty at all. He knew that his wife had gone to great lengths to buy the clothes for him, and he also knew that he would make people feel uncomfortable if they gave them a cold face.
He knows everything.
Let's go back to the noodle eating incident, obviously on the day of the two of them, if Xie Nan cooked a meal, he would call him as soon as possible: "My husband is eating!"
But when he cooked his own meal, he didn't invite his wife to eat, but just ate by himself.
In fact, what Xie Nan lacked was not the bowl of noodles, nor did he have to buy that dress for Wu Jing. All she wants is an attitude, an attitude that takes herself seriously.
And this is precisely in Wu Jing's concept, which is the most reluctant to give. Because he wants to occupy a high position, he feels that to occupy a high position is to show his absolute control, do you want attitude?
This is typical machismo thinking, living in one's own heroic imagination, but suffering the people around him.
In fact, there are many ways to occupy a high position, and it can be more gentle, but he chose the most scolding one. Is he really as bad as he appears?
The bias of the idea of feudal remnants
Because of the way Wu Jing gets along with his wife, a special term "Wu Jing-style man" actually appeared on the Internet. This can be divided into a big category, which shows how common a husband like him is.
In fact, many times, what we see is only what the Internet wants us to see. For example, the greasy character who didn't love his wife at the beginning of Zhou Zhouwei was whitewashed after a few years.
And now Wu Jing and Xie Nan's various bad performances are also likely to be clips of chasing the wind and shadows, and I don't know when they will be reversed.
But Wu Jing's attitude of knowing that his wife wants to be cared for and cared for, but he just doesn't give it, is indeed a typical machismo.
Regardless of whether he will also take practical actions to love his wife in other aspects, just looking at his stinginess towards "attitude", we know that the concept in his mind is a very traditional kind of patriarchal thinking.
In fact, many people's husbands are like this, such as these in the message:
I remember reading a lot of reports about Wu Jing with a baby before, saying that Wu Jing, who was at home with a baby, behaved like a child, cute and naïve.
When teasing children, he occasionally uses them as "guns" to make his son laugh.
Sometimes, they will also carry their younger son, take a toy sword, and father and son will "compete" on the same stage.
During the epidemic, he also incarnated as a teacher Tony and gave his son a haircut.
It seems that they can give the best attitude and emotional value to the children, but when it comes to the wife, they can't give a little, as if they are afraid of the wife, that is, cowardice, it is against the identity of the head of his family.
They will even deliberately vent their emotions on their wives, and they also like to see their wives feel sad when they are wronged, as if only their wives are tortured for themselves and are good wives who meet traditional moral standards.
But it became very strange that it died early in the morning, and this feudal legacy continued to modern society. Maybe he doesn't have to do less things to love his wife and spoil his children at home, but his annoying attitude is very easy to lose the audience.
I would like to believe that he is not so bad and terrible in life, otherwise Xie Nan is not stupid, isn't he still with him for so many years?
▲ Xie Nan's blog post
may suddenly one day, the Internet will whitewash him, and that is also a variety show, after all, in the Internet, these public opinions are changing rapidly.
In fact, Mi Li's mother thinks that the emotionally unstable giant baby husband in marriage is more terrible than this kind of macho feudal poisonous husband.
Because when you meet Wu Jing, he is also pursuing a sense of absolute authority in the family, and if you let him do it, don't ask him for too much emotional value in his attitude, and you will be fine.
But the real emotional giant baby, that temper is really uncontrollable. Maybe one second the two of them are as good as one person, and the next second he is sick, and you will become the biggest emotional trash can.
This is the scary companion we should avoid the most.
Those are good, but they are not as they should be
Many years ago, in "Where Are You Going, Dad", Cao Ge and Wu Suling and his wife were such envious couples of others, they had both children, the man was a musical talent, and the woman was a beautiful model.
But later the marriage changed, and #Cao Ge's mental state# became a hot search, and everyone knew how unstable Cao Ge's emotions were, and how much Wu Suling had endured as his wife over the years.
When he goes crazy, he keeps tweeting about his wife:
"I didn't leave because I didn't love you, I loved you too much. ”
"I just love my wife. Attack casually. ”
"I love Suling but she loves it very painfully, what should I do?"
In the interview, he was also "open-mouthed", saying that he and his wife were in a cold war, "I'm not sure that I will live with her for the rest of my life." ”
sang his golden song "Mr. Lonely" at the concert, saying, "I was in my early 20s when I wrote this song, and I married a very beautiful wife." The fans cheered and screamed, and he suddenly changed his face, "What are you shouting when it's cold?!"
It wasn't until later that Wu Suling couldn't bear it anymore and posted:
Everyone knew that she had long been disheartened by this relationship.
An emotionally unstable partner can make his family scared. Cao Ge himself said that his daughter Grace would cry with fear, and his son Joe would often worry about his father becoming a monster.
There are too many such examples, husbands and wives quarrel, and pregnant women are thrown directly on the highway by their husbands:
Actor Tong Chenjie, who played Manager Pan in "Flowers", threw the microphone and left her husband on the day of her wedding, and she lived alone:
Zhu Yin's husband Huang Guanzhong said a way to maintain a relationship: don't take everything for granted. Don't take it for granted that your wife has to cook and pay for you. You also have to put in the effort every day to gain the respect of your family.
After marrying him, Zhu Yin also said a classic saying: "The right person will make you feel noble." ”
Love will make people crazy to grow flesh and blood, and the feelings that go both ways have always nourished people, not consumed people.
The macho Wu Jing based his authority on the consumption of his wife's emotions, and Cao Ge, the emotional giant, even indulged himself like an out-of-control monster and allowed his temper to spread to his family.
But the wife is not to take this for granted. Perhaps in the feudal period, people were taught that women were originally accessories, and in addition to fulfilling the value of childbirth, they must also be obedient to it, so as not to violate women's morality.
But now, these three outlines and five constants have long been counted, and she could have chosen not to cook every porridge and meal made by your partner you eat. This is not what she should do, but her efforts for the harmony and warmth of this family should be seen.
It's not that when you get married, you have children, you automatically get status, become a father, a mother, a wife, a husband, you automatically get immunity.
The management of marriage has always relied on the joint efforts of two people to last for a long time. All along, machismo people naively thought that if someone was trying to support me anyway, I would sit back and enjoy it, and it didn't matter if I even wreaked havoc.
But when they take each other's contribution for granted to a certain extent, the amount they should enjoy will eventually be spent, and one day they will understand how hurtful it is to sit back and enjoy what they want, and only destroy and not operate in the relationship.
Writer Alain de Botton honestly stated this brutal truth in his famous essay "Why Would You Marry the Wrong Person?"
"No one is born to be comforted, to understand, to fill other people. ”
All concessions, understanding, and tolerance are sacrifices they make for love and should be cherished.
Personal profile: @米粒妈频道 (welcome to follow), Mi Li's mother, American returnee, Haidian parent, the author of "Parent-Child English Books That Affect Children's Lives" ranked first on the Dangdang New Book List. Focus on learning dry goods, education experience sharing, education and further education for children aged 5-12, English, mathematics, science enlightenment, and the world's novelty and good things to recommend, welcome to pay attention! (0~5 years old mother, please pay attention: @米粒妈爱分享)