Sometimes, people often ask me: "Your first child is a son, and it is really brave to dare to have a second child".
I had a second child because I wanted two children, not because of their gender.
According to some people's theories, if the first child gives birth to a son, and you give birth to a second child and then a son, then the whole family will fall into the eighteenth layer of hell and will never turn over.
Some people will feel that it is unforgivable to give birth to a girl in the first child and not have a second child, because you let a family die.
The first child gave birth to a daughter, why didn't you have a second child?
Ziyi is a mother with a 6-year-old daughter, she once said with a wry smile: "Since I gave birth to Ruirui, my mother has become extremely concerned about me, and asked me since I was not out of confinement, when do you plan to have a second child?"
In the next few years, her daughter grew up day by day, and her mother saw that Ziyi's stomach was not moving, and she intensified her frequent urging.
When Ziyi celebrated her daughter's birthday, she confessed to her father, mother, and parents-in-law, she said: "My husband and I have already discussed, we don't plan to have a second child."
Before the mother-in-law could speak, the mother jumped up in a hurry and asked her: "You gave birth to a daughter for the first time, why don't you give birth to a second child?"
Ziyi said with a sneer: "I don't want to have a second child, because I don't want to be a patriarchal person like you, and I don't want my daughter to have the same experience as me and become a victim of a family." ”
Ziyi has a younger brother who is more than a year younger than her, because her mother has to take care of her younger brother, she has lived with her grandparents since she was a child, and she has never enjoyed the love from her parents.
When she grew up, her parents felt that her sister should think about her younger brother, and the money she earned should be saved to buy a house for her younger brother......
Ziyi often thinks: "If I am also an only child, can I enjoy the favor of my parents like others?"
So after Ziyi gave birth to her daughter, she regarded her daughter as a treasure, and she would never have a second child again, because she would never allow her daughter to be wronged.
After giving birth to a daughter, she is reluctant to have a second child, because her mother is deeply "persecuted" by patriarchy
Some mothers didn't wear beautiful dresses when they were young, and after their daughters were born, they had to buy her enough beautiful clothes; some mothers never went out to travel, and when they had daughters, they would often take their children to go around to play in the mountains and rivers......
Many mothers have unhappy childhoods, and even fate is tribulation, born in a patriarchal family, with no sense of security, no self-confidence, and no happiness at all.
Therefore, when they grow up and become a mother, they will do everything they can to protect their daughter, hoping that she will become the happiest child.
They treat their daughters as if they were being good to themselves in childhood, which may be a kind of redemption, which can give some comfort to their once wounded hearts.
Therefore, the more mothers are "persecuted" by patriarchal thinking, the more reluctant they may be to have a second child after they give birth to a daughter.
Economic reasons are the biggest reason for reluctance to have a second child
A few days ago, a friend complained to me that my daughter was sick and spent two months' salary for her and her husband at once. The child is sick, but the family is in distress, what will happen to the mortgage, and where will the family's living expenses be?
If a child is sick once a year, parents really can't stand it.
Of course, raising children, in addition to the fear of the expenses they will have to pay after they get sick, is more afraid of the expensive education costs of the children.
A mother once complained: With a monthly salary of 30,000 yuan, she can't support her child for a summer vacation, and the child is a money shredder.
However, when other people's children learn to play the piano, it is difficult for parents not to be impressed, and when other people's children do well in school, we will unconsciously be anxious, and the more difficult the education volume, the higher the cost of family education, which is simply daunting.
Young people's lives are very stressful, and if it is very difficult to raise a child, where do they dare to have a second child?
In the past, whoever gave birth to a daughter wanted to have a son, but now there is a very interesting phenomenon that the family that gave birth to a daughter is very happy, and they are reluctant to have a second child, because they are afraid that the second child will give birth to a son.
Families who have given birth to a son for the first child are even more afraid to have a second child, and if there are two boys in the family, life is simply "the end of the world". To put it bluntly, there is still no money.
Therefore, many families like children, but without that economic strength, they really dare not have a second child.
It is responsible to have children, and it is also responsible not to have children
Having a baby is a big deal, and I think that many mothers' decision not to have a second child is worthy of respect, and we don't have the right to criticize them as selfish young people.
Because after giving birth to a child, you have to be responsible, if you can't afford it, not having a child is also a kind of responsibility, which is happier than "having a child and not being able to raise it".
If you decide to have children, parents only need one reason, that is, they like children very much, want to bring them into this world, and love them well.
Interactive topic: Did you have a second child?