#精品长文创作季#
This is my 91st day in the headline, Article 508 content, welcome to read the correction.
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Wang Xiaobo "Golden Age"
"I have very low requirements for myself, I live in the world just to understand some truths, meet some interesting things, if it can be as I wish, my life will be considered a success. ”
Breast cancer is found
I felt a hard lump on my left breast when I was taking a shower, I didn't think about anything at the time, maybe I was tired from working overtime in the past few days, and my blood was stagnant, and it would be fine in a few days, but just when I was about to forget the lump, it began to ache faintly, reminding me of its existence.
Even on the subway to the hospital, I still didn't think about cancer, didn't it just hurt for a while, see the doctor, take a film, there would be no major problems.
I first went to the surgical clinic, the outpatient clinic is a 50-year-old female doctor, kind eyebrows, she asked me about my situation, suggested that I go to the breast clinic, I noticed a trace of uneasiness from her soft voice, my calm heart rippled, when I transferred to the breast department, the outpatient turned out to be a male doctor, full of silver hair, wearing a white coat, the collar of the shirt was white and flawless, the face was calm and serene, asked me about my situation, let the female nurse next to me lead me to the examination room.
It was the first time I bare my breasts in front of a male doctor, but fortunately there was a female nurse next to me, I couldn't describe the feeling of a strange big hand touching my breasts, and then the doctor seriously recommended that I have a breast ultrasound, I got dressed and asked the doctor nervously, "Will it be serious?" The doctor replied very routinely, "It depends on the results of the examination." ”
The results of the ultrasound confirmed the doctor's judgment that it was possible breast cancer.
I took the results and walked around the subway station three times, cars came and went, people came and went, I remember that day, the sun was shining, but I felt that the sun was too dazzling; the school next to me was out of school, and the students passed by me in twos and threes, and they were talking and laughing, and I felt that they were laughing at me; some passers-by looked in my direction, and then turned their heads and ears, and I didn't know what they were saying, how did I feel that they knew that I had cancer, and pointed at me。
Four hours, thirty-five minutes and twenty-eight seconds later at the entrance of the subway, the last bit of reason told me that the last subway was coming, and if I couldn't catch it, I would have to pay an expensive taxi. I dragged my heavy legs, held on to the railing, and got off the subway little by little, and the people around me, coming and going, maybe for people who often pass by here, see a person like me, holding a ×× in their handsThe examination bag of the hospital, faltering, they have long been accustomed to it, sitting on the subway, dull eyes, nervous response has become sluggish, after sitting on the ground, I reacted that it was time to get off, groggy, into the rental room, the moment the door was closed, I couldn't control myself at all, I cried, my life was completely over, the hemp rope was picky and detailed, bad luck only looked for the miserable, I finally found a good job in the big city, every day to save money to buy a house, just when I thought I could escape the clutches of fate, it changed its form, and choked my throat。
Wang Xiaobo "Golden Age" :
I was twenty-one years old that day, in the golden age of my life. I have a lot of hopes. I want to love, I want to eat, and I want to be a half-light cloud in the sky in an instant. Later, I learned that life is a slow process of being hammered, people grow old day by day, and their extravagant hopes disappear day by day, and finally they become like cattle that have been hammered. But I didn't foresee this when I celebrated my twenty-first birthday. I felt like I was going to be alive forever and nothing could hit me.
Fighting breast cancer
I cried while calling my mother, at this time my mother was my only lifeline, I can't remember what I told my mother on the phone, I just remember the next day, my parents took the first high-speed train to my place, and they came at a gallop.
My mother told me later, my hair was scattered, my eyes were almost swollen with crying, I couldn't see the hope of birth on my face, the quilt in the bedroom was neatly folded, it turned out that I had curled up on the sofa all night, and the quilt was folded before going to the hospital.
I was like a derailed train, upside down on the ground, the tracks were full of parts, and I couldn't move any further.
The first thing my mother said when she saw me was, "I looked for the great immortal in the village last night, and you should have this catastrophe in your life, but there is no danger, and there are nobles on the road to help, and you will definitely turn evil into good fortune." ”
I knew it was my mother's words to coax me, but I still felt a little comforted, even if it was a true lie.
My dad saw what I was thinking and asked, "Did the hospital diagnose it?"
I nodded.
"Even if it is diagnosed, now that medicine is so advanced, it can't be cured. Even if it can't be cured here, let's go to the big hospital in Beijing, so many experts can't cure this disease. ”
Dad has a resolute eye, he once said that the biggest education given to him by the army is to be calm when encountering anything, and there is a solution to everything, but we have not found it.
Maybe the arrival of my parents made me find a support, someone can make an idea for me, I suddenly felt hungry, my mother used the leftovers in the refrigerator to make me a big pot of stew, maybe I was really hungry, I even ate soup and rice. After eating, the person had the strength, packed up the ropes, and followed his parents to the hospital again.
When I arrived at the hospital, I hung up the expert number, and after the expert reviewed my ultrasound examination, he asked me to do a mammography, which basically determined that the breast cancer of the left breast lump was more likely. Then I was told not to panic, because I don't know what stage of breast cancer has progressed to at the moment, and if it is stage 0, 1, or 2, the cure rate and survival rate are very high.
The doctor's words made us feel very relieved, my mother asked the doctor if the surgery, is it necessary to remove the entire left breast, I know that my mother is worried about my future, after all, I am not married, who will accept a woman without breasts, the doctor's answer made me feel relieved, he said that the current breast cancer surgery is the priority to recommend breast cancer surgery that preserves the breast, even if the breast must be removed, the implant can also be placed, it is not visible from the outside. However, whether breast conservation can be achieved in the end depends on the final examination, and it is recommended that I be hospitalized and have a detailed examination.
Looking at the determined gaze of the doctor, I felt as if I had regained the courage to survive, my resident was a graduate student who had been studying breast cancer for several years, had his own unique perspective on breast cancer, and was a staunch supporter of breast conservation.
After learning about my situation, he gave me a simple example, such as a piece of fruit, partially rotten, we generally cut off the rotten part instead of choosing to throw away the whole fruit. Cutting off the rotten part of the fruit is accompanied by a slight bit of the normal flesh around the rotten part until it is clean and ready to eat. Organs such as the liver and lungs can also be partially removed if they have cancer, and in the same way, cancerous breasts can also be partially removed, unless the whole fruit is rotten and can only be thrown away.
The doctor's words made me relax even more, and my parents were always by my side, and I slowly figured out that cancer itself is not an incurable disease, but cancer has hit my confidence and shattered my dignity, and the fear, loneliness, helplessness and sinking after cancer are the real killers that kill me.
The next step was surgery, and before the surgery, I had a breast MRI with contrast, and probably most of my breasts had to be removed, and the doctor told me to be mentally prepared that the implant could be placed after the excision. During the operation, I did a rapid frozen pathological section, and there was no tumor tissue left in the breast, and the doctor implanted a prosthesis for me.
Shi Tiesheng's "Broken Pen in the Sick Gap":
The experience of being sick is to know how to be satisfied step by step. When I had a fever, I realized how refreshing the days without a fever were. When I coughed, I realized how peaceful my throat was when I didn't cough. When I first got into a wheelchair, I kept thinking that not being able to walk upright was not a loss of human characteristics? It wasn't until I had bedsores again, and I could only lie crookedly for several days, only to see how sunny the day was. Later, he suffered from "uremia", and he was often dazed and unable to think, so he was even more nostalgic for the old days. Finally woke up: in fact, we are lucky all the time, because any disaster may be preceded by the word "more".
I felt like my second life was coming
So far, my surgery has been relatively successful, except for some asymmetry between the left and right breasts, but I can make up for this deficiency with underwear.
In the process of later treatment, I gradually learned that the doctor who gave me the main surgery was also a foreigner like me, came to this city to work hard, and found a place to give full play to his talents in this tertiary hospital.
I don't know when I became fond of him, maybe when he gently cut my skin with a scalpel, maybe when he gave me a doctor's advice, maybe when he looked at me tenderly.
His name is Holly, he was born in a family of traditional Chinese medicine, he is a brother, and his younger brother is called Nanxing. I also heard him say later, Holly and Nanxing are both Chinese herbal medicines, and my father used Chinese medicinal materials to name the brothers, hoping that they would not forget the foundation of the Chinese medicine family, and hoped that they could inherit their father's business, "If you are not a good look, you are a good doctor." "His father had good intentions.
Now that he is a doctor, and his younger brother is also studying at a medical university in a provincial capital, their brother seems worthy of his father's spirit in heaven.
I decided to seize the opportunity and take the initiative to launch an "attack" on him, although I had my left breast removed, I still have the right to pursue my own happiness, Holly gave me surgery, he is a man who can accept me calmly, this is the foundation of our love.
(The above story comes from life perceptions, the name is purely fictional, please do not sit in the right seat, the picture comes from the Internet, and the infringement must be deleted)
Past Issues:
I'm a gynecologist, and I work with special parts of women every day, but it's not what you think
I'm 60 years old this year, even if I live to be 80 years old, I still have 20 years, can't I pursue love?
I'm a female doctor, and my husband said to sleep with me, and that's it
The past of Fan Zhiyi, the eldest brother of the national football team
I've been divorced twice, and this time, I'm afraid I'm going to leave too