#精品长文创作季#
Today's headlines/Eternal Night Star
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along, in order to reduce conflicts after marriage, some avoidable problems should be made clear before marriage, don't take care of face, don't worry about face, don't quarrel after marriage, want to have a harmonious family after marriage, daughter-in-law and mother-in-law will say their thoughts and attitudes, see if both parties can accept it, continue if they can accept it, stop loss in time if they can't accept it, and it's good for both parties.
1. Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, before the daughter-in-law gets married, the question of how to live after marriage should be clearly explained.
Two generations do not live under the same roof, it is not that they cannot live, but they cannot live permanently, so before getting married, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law must put the matter of where they live after marriage on the board clearly. Don't be embarrassed, or you won't be able to say anything clearly after marriage.
The man's marriage house is a new house built in his hometown, and he has a yard with the old man or buys a house in the city by himself, whether the house is bought by the mother-in-law or the man, or the young couple saved money together before marriage to buy it.
If the mother-in-law builds a new house in her hometown and still lives with the elderly, can she be willing to marry as a daughter-in-law? You must think about it rationally, don't put up with it because you want to save face, and it is your own fault to regret it after marriage, if you want to move out and live alone, you have to earn your own money to buy it, don't expect your mother-in-law to be very active in helping you buy a house, as the saying goes: "Speaking is better than singing," is the situation in the future.
If the new house built by the mother-in-law in her hometown is not the same yard as herself, as a prospective daughter-in-law, whether she can be completely willing, if she is unwilling, she must make it clear if she is unwilling, don't delay each other, and don't see that others have bought a house after getting married, and look for trouble at home, dislike her mother-in-law's poor family, and her mother-in-law's family will not buy a house, which is the daughter-in-law's unreasonableness.
A good life is earned with both hands, not by imagination, nor by nonsense.
If the marriage house is prepared by the mother-in-law's family in advance, and the mother-in-law has the right to live in the house in the past, whether the daughter-in-law is willing? Whether she is willing to live with her mother-in-law for a few days, whether she is willing to live with her mother-in-law for a long time, and if not, she must make it clear.
If the marriage house is a down payment from the mother-in-law, and the mortgage is repaid by the young couple after marriage, if both husband and wife go to work, add the daughter-in-law's name after marriage, if the daughter-in-law does not have a job before marriage, and does not have a strong ability to work, and is not willing to work, then the daughter-in-law's name cannot be added to the real estate certificate after marriage, is the daughter-in-law willing?
Regardless of whether the daughter-in-law's name is added or not, this house belongs to pre-marital property, and if the mother-in-law paid part of the money to buy it, she has the right to come and live, unless the mother-in-law herself says: "The house is for you, I don't come to live, I don't live with you." "Of course, it also indicates that the mother-in-law will not come to help you take care of the children, and after marriage, you will have to repay the loan and raise the children, and only rely on one person to work.
A radish can't be folded at both ends, don't let your mother-in-law live when you don't have children, let your mother-in-law take care of yourself and take care of your children when you give birth, and let your mother-in-law go back when the child grows up, and no longer let your mother-in-law live.
If you don't want to live with the elderly, the daughter-in-law must be independent, shoulder the responsibilities of a family, and make it clear to the mother-in-law that if you don't live with the elderly after marriage, the children don't need you to take care of them, let alone your money, you just take care of yourself, come and see the children in advance, you can't live permanently, you have to leave in a day or two.
This sounds very ruthless, but it is the voice of all very independent daughters-in-law, this kind of daughter-in-law is my life, you live your life, I don't need your care, I won't care about you, everyone takes care of themselves, don't make trouble for each other.
The mother-in-law who lives in the countryside for two generations of personnel and things, does not need to make breakfast, mother-in-law will make, clothes do not need to be washed, mother-in-law will wash, children do not need to see, mother-in-law will see, milk powder does not need to be bought, mother-in-law will also buy, so the two generations living together must be a daughter-in-law, if you can accept it, you will marry it, and if you can't accept it, you will move out.
2. Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, if the mother-in-law has two sons, the mother-in-law must make it clear who she will help with the children and who will give money, otherwise there will be a lot of troubles after marriage.
In rural families with two or three sons, the mother-in-law generally looks after the children for the eldest and the youngest family, and gives money to the second child's family. ”
The eldest must have lived with his parents when he got married, and built a house in his hometown, the second and the young generally went out to work, and when the children of the old family grew up, the second and the young were going to get married, at this time most families were very tacit, the second child had the opportunity to buy a house by himself, and the parents didn't care, the old and the young were spoiled, and they would either build a house in their hometown, or they would pay to help the old and young buy a house in the city.
That's the thing, the three sons didn't say anything, the prospective daughter-in-law really shouldn't pick and choose and feel unfair, after all, this is all what happened before you got married, you just need to discuss whose house your mother-in-law lives in.
According to the phenomenon in rural areas, mothers-in-law are generally in the eldest family, the old family, or the children who married relatively early and put aside the family life, the children who have a future are in the field, come back once or twice a year, and the mother-in-law has no chance to live, and these daughters-in-law do not wait to see the mother-in-law come to live, after all, the current life is their own hard work, both parents do not help a penny, they should not come to live permanently, and when they are old, they must not contribute money.
The fact is that there is no right or wrong, only how much to worry about, who did the parents help more when they were young, the child should provide for the parents for the elderly, this is very common and common, the parents don't care about the child, the one who has a chance, sometimes the parents can't bear to bother, they will feel that they are very busy, and the daughter-in-law is out of town, less meeting, less communication, and they don't want to live in the past.
Since they are all clichés, it is good for everyone to make it clear on the surface, don't run away from the problem, it won't solve the problem by escaping, and it will be even more difficult to solve it after accumulation.
Daughters-in-law don't care too much, as long as the mother-in-law is not too eccentric, too obvious, turn a blind eye and pass, think more about your children, and have the day when you become a mother-in-law, you must not reproduce the scene.
3. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along with each other, and daughters-in-law who don't want to have children should take the initiative to express their attitude, and don't tell their mother-in-law that they don't want children after they get married.
Although the mother-in-law can't control the matter of giving birth, and she can't control it, but the mother-in-law marries her daughter-in-law just to hold her grandson, otherwise she won't spend so much money to buy a house, decorate, and pass the bride price.
If the daughter-in-law never got married, she planned not to have children, but she never mentioned it, until after marriage, the young couple had trouble because they didn't have children, which was the daughter-in-law's fault.
At this time, don't blame the mother-in-law for her son, the daughter-in-law is obviously deceived, and whoever is the mother-in-law can't accept it, it's one thing to not be pregnant, it's another thing to not want a child, if the daughter-in-law didn't plan to have children in the first place, and marriage is just urged by the parents, then take the initiative to make it clear, don't delay the man.
If the young couple discussed not to have children at the beginning, they can not tell the mother-in-law, after all, the mother-in-law's son also agrees, and the mother-in-law can only sprinkle her anger on her son, but someone came over to persuade the daughter-in-law that a married woman must have a child.
Men have an indifferent attitude when they are young, it doesn't matter if they have children or not, the romantic life of the two is delicious, but after men reach middle age, their ideas are very different from when they were young, they will very much hope that they have one or two children, and when they see their colleagues, friends, and cute children, he will be overflowing with fatherly love and want to have their own children.
After all, when men reach middle age, they are more or less emphasized than when they were younger, and when they save some money in their hands, they like to live slower, but it is not very easy for middle-aged women to have children, and at this time, no matter how good the relationship between husband and wife is, they will quarrel.
If you don't want to have children, tell your in-laws in advance, don't delay, just a smart and rational woman will not have such thoughts, not getting married is another matter, it doesn't matter what, as long as you get married, you won't have children, children are a family bond, otherwise you will be alone.
It's really simple for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along well, that is, to say things clearly, don't do things that shouldn't be done, face is not important, don't run away when you encounter problems, solve them in time, don't accumulate, and solve them quickly when something happens.
And have a plan for the future, what kind of life you want, what kind of life you want to live, don't always be passive, pushed by others, good things are earned by yourself, and blindly go along with others, you can only make yourself more and more unnoticed, more and more thoughtless.
The daughter-in-law is the same, since she has chosen the family, ability, and environment of her in-law's family, she has to persevere, don't complain about others, don't expect Ai Ai, don't cry, don't blame this and that, the road is chosen by herself, the days are lived by yourself, what if there is no road, shoulder the family responsibilities, work hard to live a good life, strive to live a good life, and strive to look forward, instead of complaining, today in yesterday's regret, yesterday in the day before yesterday's regret, and so on, every day in regret, every day in the review of their grievances, magnify their suffering, this life can not be good。
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