We live in a time when we are shrouded in a myriad of expectations and pressures. Marriage, a ritual that has been traditionally given great significance, is seen by many as a necessary part of life. However, on the road of pursuing marriage, we often ignore the true meaning of marriage, so much so that after marriage, we find a huge gap between reality and ideals.
Recently, a friend shared her story with me, she was persuaded to marry by many friends, and this year, those who had persuaded her to get married have divorced. This made her deeply feel the cruel truth of marriage.
There is no such thing as a perfect marriage.
Marriage is a relationship of mutual support and mutual growth, not a contract that guarantees happiness. We are often confused by the romantic atmosphere and the praise of the outside world before we enter into marriage, and ignore the fact that marriage needs to be managed with care. Just like a pair of shoes that fit, marriage also needs both parties to constantly run in and adjust in order to go further and further.
Why, then, do we always expect too much from marriage?
It may have something to do with the environment in which we grew up.
In many cultures, marriage is given too many meanings, such as lineage, social status, etc. This external pressure makes many people enter into marriage not out of a genuine desire from the heart, but to cater to the expectations of society. When realistic dilemmas and expectations collide, disappointments and contradictions arise.
At the same time, we cannot ignore the influence of modern social media on the concept of marriage. On social media, we often see those happy moments and the superficial brilliance.
However, marriage in real life is full of trivial daily life and various challenges, which can be said to be a piece of chicken feathers. This asymmetry of information has led many people to misunderstand that happiness is the norm and ignore the effort required to run a marriage.
So, in the face of such a reality, how should we view marriage?
First of all, let's be clear: marriage is not a task in life, but a choice based on the feelings of two independent individuals. It is not the end of life, but a new beginning. When choosing a partner, we should think more about whether both partners can grow together and face the ups and downs of life.
Second, we need to learn to lower our expectations for marriage. A happy marriage is not without contradictions and difficulties, but that both parties can work together and grow together in the face of problems. There will always be highs and lows in life, and the key is how we perceive and deal with these challenges.
Finally, we need to understand that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Every marriage has its own unique story and experience, and no couple is exactly the same. Instead of blindly pursuing the so-called perfection, it is better to manage your marriage with your heart and make it the best in your mind.
Although it is said that people who marry and those who do not marry will regret it in the end, then, in the process of choosing a partner and managing a marriage, we should pay more attention to our own inner needs and the true face of the other person.
Only in this way can we find our true happiness on the road of life.