Fresh melons, come on!
Just yesterday, the topic of #徐Jiao怼於正# rushed to the hot search, and the popularity remained high......
Here's how it happened.
On January 25, screenwriter Yu Zheng posted on Weibo that actor Zhao Qing had lost 92 pounds, but he felt that he had to lose 85 pounds to look good.
The original words were: "I've lost 92 pounds, and I still feel a little fat." To look good and lose 85 pounds. ”
At first glance, it doesn't seem to be too wrong, but you must know that Zhao Qing, who plays the maid in the new drama, has a height of 1.7 meters according to public information!
Subsequently, actor Xu Jiao reposted Yu Zheng's Weibo and posted a costume photo of a male artist under Yu Zheng, and questioned: "Do you think you look good when you are thin like this?"
Xu Jiao also posted a photo of her and Zhao Qing in the comment area, and said bluntly: "Qing is nearly half a head taller than me, 92 is already extremely thin, how vicious it is to make people lose weight to 85." ”
Many netizens support Xu Jiao, saying that it is 2024, and there are still people who are creating body anxiety:
In fact, although the consciousness of women is gradually awakening, the problems of body anxiety and age anxiety seem to have always been the object of heated discussions among netizens.
There was a question on Zhihu, what kind of women are the most attractive?
Gao Zan replied mentions:
Accept yourself, you are already beautiful.
In this world, there are always people who are better off than us, or beautiful, or have outstanding figures, or have a good family.
However, everyone's life is unique, and don't punish your own life with someone else's script.
01
This incident reminds me of Fu Seoul, who was on the hot search before because of "body problems".
In Weibo, she admitted that she has been chubby since she was a child, and although she has been losing weight, she has never succeeded.
Indeed, the impression of Fu Seoul seems to have always been a person with a sharp mouth and a slightly blessed figure.
She has repeatedly laughed at herself as a representative of "middle-aged women", and what she talks about on stage is the short and trivial things in the family.
Surprisingly, Fu Seoul, who is so cheerful, has also fallen into anxiety because of his figure and appearance.
In this Weibo that rushed to the hot search, she said bluntly:
I never felt that I was good-looking before, but now I can stare at myself in the mirror, and I sincerely sigh:
"I'm so good-looking, and I'm smiling so brightly. ”
When asked if she would like to swap lives with a beautiful and excellent woman recognized by the public, she bluntly said no.
Because she likes this self that exudes self-confidence and charm and knows how to appreciate herself.
Time has passed, is Fu Seoul really better looking than 18-year-old her? The answer is obvious.
Most people know Fu Seoul through "Wonderful Story", a debate-style talk show variety show.
In the eyes of the public,
Her greatest achievement is none other than "the most talkative woman".
But for her, her biggest achievements in recent years are:
"Learned to appreciate yourself and love yourself. ”
In her, I see the charm of a woman who lives confidently and spans her life.
She can smile like a child, or she can say amazing and wise sentences.
Today's Fu Seoul has obviously gained a unique charm by virtue of his self-confidence and talent, and has become a true goddess in the minds of tens of millions of viewers.
You see, when you learn to love yourself and know how to appreciate yourself, you will naturally live a charming 3,000 faces.
02
I don't know when "girl" is no longer synonymous with age, but has become a sought after body type and appearance type.
Whether it is a short video, a marketing account or all kinds of Internet celebrities, 80% of them are full of vitality and girlishness, and it seems that the lack of girlishness has nothing to do with "beauty".
Don't middle-aged women deserve to be attractive?
Of course not!
In the face of the mainstream aesthetics of "white, young and thin" in contemporary society, Fu Seoul is also directly open.
"The white and thin aesthetic is a kind of PUA for women!"
Huang Xiaolei is even more in a word,
"This aesthetic is a new kind of body anxiety. ”
Indeed, blindly pursuing a "white, young and thin" body and ignoring the normal physical state that women should have at different ages, in addition to making people anxious in disguise, what else can be gained?
What's even more tragic is that
For women, the "anxiety" in life is much more than that.
As we age, various anxieties come unexpected:
Gradual loss of collagen,
In the pursuit of the mainstream aesthetic full of vitality,
was maliciously called "old aunt";
The facial features are not grown in the aesthetic point of the public,
Because of the appearance of being ridiculed and discriminated against,
It was even dubbed "Spicy Eye";
Under the slogan "Skinny or Die",
Pursuit of morbid thinness,
If you are a little fatter, you will be pointed at by the people around you.
Is the outside world's attention important?
Perhaps important,
But that shouldn't be what sways our lives.
In the face of the "gifts" given by these years, it is better to accept them calmly than to be blindly anxious.
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In fact, there will always be a group of people who, in the hurried years, step on their own steps unhurriedly and live out the beauty of different stages of life.
Like,
Fu Seoul, who is 39 years old and has a fat figure but a bright smile;
Guo Jingjing, who is 42 years old and still full of confidence, is still wearing street clothes;
Dong Qing, who stands on the stage at the age of 50, speaks elegantly and quotes classics.
They know how to stand in the perspective of appreciating themselves, tap their own unique charm, and can find the most appropriate balance between self-preservation and pandering to the world, and live their own appearance.
You may not be able to please everyone, but you unconditionally appreciate that you are really beautiful.
03
Some people say:
"The charm of women comes from self-appreciation and natural self-confidence. “
I think so.
This is the case with Renee, the heroine of the movie "I feel pretty".
She has a mediocre appearance and a slightly chubby figure, and she is the kind of ordinary person who can't be found in the pile, and she was once frustrated because of her appearance and figure.
An accident caused her to suffer a blow to the head.
When she woke up, she found that she had changed—hot, unbelievably beautiful.
However, all this was only because the impact had changed her mind, but in fact, her figure and appearance had not changed at all.
The cognitive bias has also made her behavior change significantly.
The people around me found that a person with such low self-esteem was full of confidence in his gestures and became particularly optimistic and humorous.
She exudes a confident brilliance, her eyes are firm and bright, and her aura is full of beauty, which makes others embarrassed to tell her the truth, only to feel that she has suddenly become self-confident.
Gradually, her changes began to melt the hearts of those around her, turning the otherwise bad life around:
She gets the job of her dreams and is in a relationship with a rich and handsome man who will not have the slightest interest in her at all.
Her life, because of the change in her perception of herself, exudes a completely different energy and aura, and then there are dramatic changes.
Although this is just the plot of the movie,
But the psychological principles behind it are extremely profound:
The way you see yourself, others see you, and a confident heart is more attractive than a beautiful outer body.
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Comparing everything with others will only aggravate unnecessary pain and anxiety, but in fact, it is deliberately difficult to get along with yourself.
Everyone in the world is unique and has their own shining point. Instead of blindly pursuing, it is better to take off the disguise and live your true and expansive.
A woman who lives out of the span is the most charming, she can be as pure as a child, or she can have the wisdom of years of precipitation, such a person lives out her own multi-dimensional beauty, is the most charming.
May you and I be full of confidence,
Fearless of the traces of time, live as a sparkling goddess.