There is a midlife crisis called "persuading my mother to go to the hospital"
Text | Thirteenth sister
You will feel that it is not so difficult to "persuade your child to study seriously", if you have tried to "persuade the elderly to go to the hospital". This seems to be an inverted sentence, but in fact it is, mainly to strengthen the emotional sense of the second half of the sentence.
Last week, my mom fell and couldn't move her right arm, and she cried out in pain when she moved. My first reaction was: "It's broken, it's broken," so I said, "Go, go to the hospital!"
She said: "It's not a fracture, it should be a twisted tendon, so you don't have to go to the hospital." ”
I said, "Even if you twist your muscles and make a film, you can determine how to treat it." "I was bitter, but she was indifferent, I argued, but she ignored it, I was soft and hard, she turned a deaf ear......
Seeing that I was tired at last, my mother said, "I've already put on the plaster, and it's much better." ”
Usually I don't think it's a meaningful topic, but she can talk to me for two hours. When I persuaded her to go to the hospital, it was the other way around. It felt like it took a long time to submit a heart-digging suggestion to the leader, and the leader said lightly: "Oh, throw it away." ”
But since people say, "It's much better to put on the plaster," I can't say, "I don't believe it, I don't believe it, I don't believe it!" So, I lost the first round and had to give up.
As a result, she was in so much pain that she couldn't sleep that night.
The next morning I said, "I have to go to the hospital!"
There was a strong coercion in what I said, and she wavered for a moment.
My car had already driven to my mother's doorstep, and I had even secretly packed my hospitalized luggage and hid it in the trunk. Just when I was in high spirits and ready to do it, she said, "I feel better now, my shoulders can move, this plaster works, I don't go to the hospital anymore!"
People say that she has improved, her shoulder can move, and I can't hope that she will break a bone. Well, I'm defeated again, so I have to give up.
As a result, she was in pain that night and couldn't sleep.
On the third day, I didn't care so much, I didn't say a word, I looked like a domineering president, and dragged my mother to the hospital.
When I got to the hospital, the doctor asked, "What's wrong?"
My mom said, "My arm is twisted, and it could be a strained ligament." Then he pointed to his shoulder, "This position, it should be here, twisted." ”
He spoke with a leisurely expression and a firm tone, as if a doctor was making a statement of his condition to another doctor, and he didn't feel that he might be talking nonsense at all, and even wanted to instruct the doctor on how to prescribe medicine.
Well, half an hour later, the film came out, and the doctor announced: the humerus is fractured.
My mom sat there and didn't speak.
At the beginning, he categorically said that it was not a fracture, and he analyzed which tendon he twisted with reason, and said that it was much better with plasters, and even said that his shoulder could be moved...... If these are not hallucinations, they are definitely medical miracles, spread them out, let the Chinese Academy of Sciences study my mother: "A Chinese woman who is strong in her life, her arm can move after 24 hours of plaster on her humerus fracture!"
The doctor looked at the film, as if he had seen the latest medical paper published by science, and he was incredulous and amazed: "It's all broken like this, and you still say it doesn't hurt? It took three days to come to the hospital?"
My mom said, "It's not that it doesn't hurt, it's just that it doesn't hurt like a broken bone." ”
What kind of pain is a fracture? She has never broken a bone, but she wrote a "Guide to Self-diagnosis and Treatment of 100,000 Kinds of Pain" for herself.
I see, the pain of the elderly is customized - I think it hurts like this when the tendon is twisted, and I think it hurts like that when I have a broken bone...... Then why don't you think it's "scratched by an A4 paper", it will feel less painful.
At this time, you can feel the refreshing feeling of Chinese hardcore women competing with themselves. My mother already knew that she had broken her bones, but her expression was still calm, and she even showed a Venus-like smile, as if telling the doctor: "Lao Tzu's pain-tolerant skills are first-class, and he is the kind of hard bone that would rather die than snort if he is captured by the enemy, hehe." ”
The doctor's complicated expression seemed to reveal a response from his professional endorsement: "It's still hard bones, osteoporosis is all there, and it will break with a slight fall, and the enemy doesn't need to ......use torture at all."
The doctor's eyes were suspicious, and he turned his gaze to me. The look in his eyes seemed to say, "Your mother is not sensible, and you are not sensible, why didn't you bring it earlier?"
At that moment, I felt a strange oppression, but I was really powerless to refute it. If a midlife crisis involves a kind of blame from a third party that cannot be understood and tolerated, then I would like to name this tributary of the midlife crisis "persuading my mother to go to the hospital".
Now it's good, hospitalization, examination, surgery, one-stop service.
I knew that the ending was like this, and there really wasn't much foreplay. A meal of plaster was as fierce as a tiger, and finally he was hospitalized for 25,000.
I said to my mother, "If you listen to me on the first day, you won't have to suffer two more days," and she said, "It doesn't look like a fracture, but when you come to the hospital to take a film, it can only be a fracture......
Oh, this logic, from the point of view of causality is the opposite, from the perspective of psychology is too high self-efficacy, from the point of view of morality and human nature is also terrifying...... I'd love to take her to neurology (if she'd like, but that's almost impossible).
So for the whole week, I was busy with my mother, from fighting with her whether to go to the hospital or not, to being hospitalized for surgery and then being discharged, although it was only a few days, but it was the masterpiece of this elderly woman whose depth of thought was that of a philosopher - as long as I didn't make films, I wouldn't be a fracture.
Now this hardcore old lady who tried to treat fractures with plasters has added a steel plate and a dozen screws to her body, and she can no longer reconcile with the broken bones on the grounds of "twisting tendons".
In this matter, I think my mother needs to learn from her son-in-law, my husband. Even if people feel a fever, they can't wait to call 120 and take them to the hospital to live in a single room for a few days of recuperation.
Looking at this class of seniors, I don't know if it's really insensitive to pain and discomfort, or something else.
I discussed it with my friends, and I concluded that many elderly people refuse to go to the hospital for several reasons:
1. I feel that a small problem can be cured by itself, or I can take some medicine by myself, and I don't want to make a fuss.
2. Doctors are all liars, and minor illnesses go in to become major illnesses.
3. A trip to the hospital is too much of a toss-up to stand the tedious and lengthy process.
4. I don't want to trouble my children and family, and I don't bother to go.
After reading these stories of my friends again, I suddenly felt that my mother was quite worry-free.
"Dad was able to ride a shared bicycle, but he fell and his knee hurt. I didn't say anything about the pain for more than a week, but then I was so swollen that I couldn't hide it from my family, so I went to the hospital to check and suffered a comminuted fracture. ”
"My mother fractured her patella, and she was still like no one, climbing the fifth floor every day, and going out by train by herself, and only after half a month did she know that she had a fracture. ”
"My mother has back pain, I don't go to the hospital, I said that when people are old, they are painful here and there, and they can't stand it, so they buy their own plasters, and then they can't stand to go to the hospital, and they check that it is shingles, and it is said that this herpes hurts more than giving birth, I don't know how she endured it. ”
"My aunt, I fell and couldn't sleep at night because of the pain, and I still went to the autumn bacon to fill sausages, and I couldn't go to the hospital to die. Later, my sister dragged it away, and 3 ribs were broken. When he came out, the breath dissipated, and he was directly bedridden. ”
There are also old people who think they are much better than doctors. For example, these are:
The doctor prescribed a needle for 5 days, and she didn't go after a day of hanging and felt that she was better. Another time the doctor prescribed medicine, and she thought that the medicine was too powerful, and said that it was not good for her health, so she would not take it. ”
"My dad's blood pressure was slightly high in 2018, and the doctor prescribed medicine to take 1 tablet a day, and his blood pressure was low after eating, and the doctor said to take half a tablet, good guy, it's troublesome, so I don't eat it directly. Until recently, my blood pressure was so high that I almost fainted. ”
"My mother: I watch all kinds of health programs every day, I am suspicious, I feel that I am not comfortable anywhere, but I resolutely do not go to the hospital. All kinds of strange tonic medicines recommended by health programs are to be bought, but you can't go to the hospital. After a few days of quarreling, the conversation will change again: You haven't cared about me for how many days I've been in pain. ”
There are also particularly strange ones, such as these few:
"My dad had a leg ache all the time, and the family asked him to go to the hospital, but he just wouldn't. Later, it was found that it was a lumbar intervertebral disc problem, which was already very serious, and he didn't want to treat it yet, because he liked to use pain to sell miserably, let his family pay attention to him, take care of him, and ......revolve around him."
"My mother's discomfort is solved by Baidu and the half-fairy sisters in the park, and each disease is treated blindly by herself for a few weeks before going to the hospital. ”
"My parents think that people win the day, and going to the hospital is a waste of money. ”
Many elderly people have a deep sense of fear and rejection of hospitals. Thinking that "it's not good to go" is like "as long as I don't have a medical checkup, I'm not sick".
However, not to mention that the elderly are reluctant to go to the hospital, in fact, there are many times when I really refuse to go to the hospital.
There are many examples of some hospitals, such as the East Branch of a certain Ji Hospital in Shanghai. As long as I think about going there, I can get sick with anxiety without getting sick. I once went to see an emergency department, the emergency doctor was not there, and said to wait, wait for more than an hour, this is an emergency, isn't it very good? Hang a water, he can let you run up and down and break your legs, go around and around until you are dizzy, whether you are sick or not, I feel that their philosophy is "as long as people don't die, they will toss to death".
Many hospital processes are also unreasonable, let people do the examination and wait in line for several months, after the examination is completed, it is ten days and a half to wait for the re-examination, see a patient for two months, and then tell you: you have to do another examination...... The illness is not optimistic, and the mentality has collapsed.
There are so many people in the hospital, there are too many radishes and they don't wash the mud, and if they want to meet a patient doctor and a reliable expert, it really depends on luck, and some diseases are not cured, and most people can only go hard. Over time, everyone has a very negative feeling about the hospital.
All human disgust and fear comes from experience. So many elderly people avoid medical treatment and don't want to go to the hospital, and the hospital and the medical system really need to reflect a lot. Just as children study so hard and tired, we always hope that the education system can reflect on it. But in fact, neither of them will reflect.
Only we ourselves are reflecting, which may be the main reason for the midlife crisis, and people who do not reflect are never in crisis.
Thirteenth sister
Modu high-impact KOL
Author of "The Amazing Middle-Aged Woman" and "The Amazing Chinese Mother"