The four-no wedding of "reducing costs and increasing efficiency" made me dare to get a certificate

Author | Mu Kui

Edit | Shepherd Yan Fei

题图 | 《当我飞奔向你》

There is no early morning pick-up, no huge convoy of teams, no untimely door-blocking games, no sensational and blunt handover ceremonies, no copy-and-paste wedding officiants......

After the post-90s generation became the main force of marriage, the wedding format began to change. This young people's wedding explosion changes, the scene does not need to be magnificent, luxurious, but the uncomfortable traditional links must be deleted, and the term "three-no/four-no" came into being.

 Vote on the topic of "four no-weddings" on Weibo. (Photo/Weibo screenshot)

The specific "no" link can be decided by the newlyweds themselves: no kissing, no team, no groomsmen, bridesmaids, no unfamiliar guests, no emcee, no door-blocking games, no blunt ceremonies, no parents...... There's no need to follow a fixed pattern, and the experience and comfort of the couple and guests is more important than anything else.

In addition to cutting out the processes they don't like, couples can also add fun settings to their wedding. From the simplest raffle, to a creative wedding garden party, an adventure, or a Citywalk with the groomsmen and bridesmaids.

The streamlined and attentive ceremony reduces the fatigue of the newlyweds' long standby, and replaces it with personalized process settings and small details full of participation, which are more popular. Young people who have tasted the sweetness are no longer willing to spend money to "perform" a wedding, but want to spend this important day comfortably and calmly.

The happiest wedding, with nothing at all?

In August last year, Ah Huang held a "four-no wedding" in Guangzhou with no kissing, no convoy, no tea, and no handover.

Compared with the exhaustion of other couples after the wedding, Ah Huang recalled his wedding and had a completely different feeling: "Until now, I can still feel the joy of the day, and I even want to have another wedding!"

On the day of a normal wedding ceremony, the bride often needs to get up before dawn to put on makeup, and then the whole day is busy. But after some grooming and makeup, Ah Huang and the groom took to the street with balloon flowers.

 The newlyweds hold balloon flowers and the groomsmen and bridesmaids Citywalk (Photo/provided by the interviewee)

"The man's family is happy and the woman's family is crying bitterly, which is not suitable for us. Ah Huang said. Citywalk, which means that two independent souls come together and start a new chapter in their lives hand in hand, is not only creative and easy to produce, but also saves the budget for a wedding car.

The tea ceremony was omitted, and the couple presented each other's mother's hands with carefully matched flowers, and the handover ceremony in which the father solemnly entrusted his daughter to his son-in-law was also replaced by "the newlyweds appeared together", and with the blessing of relatives and friends, they walked into the palace of marriage hand in hand.

The deletion of some traditional links did not weaken the sense of ceremony of the wedding, and the new links such as collective marriage and painting made the guests more enjoyable.

It was not only Ah Huang who "broke the wedding", but also the Sihang couple from Shanghai also held a relaxed and happy "six no" wedding for themselves.

Not only is there no door, no games, no vows, no marriage, no groomsmen, bridesmaids, and no rings, but at the dinner, Sihang and her husband also omitted all unnecessary sensationalism. After only 10 minutes of the ceremony, the guests were ready to start their meal.

The simple and straightforward process ensures the experience of the i-person couple. Many guests also said that it was the happiest and most relaxing wedding they have ever attended.

 Many girls fantasize about their weddings from an early age. (Photo/"Twilight 4")

Having participated in a few "dinner ceremonies" where she couldn't even say a few words to the couple, Nuomi hopes that her wedding will make her guests feel more involved. Therefore, she canceled the pick-up, convoy, officiating, wedding vows and other links, adding an interesting garden party to her wedding.

While waiting for the dinner to begin, guests can snare rings, draw blind boxes, grab dolls, make marshmallows, and take photos with Polaroids. Both adults and children had a great time at the fair.

 Glutinous rice well-designed ferrule link. (Photo/Provided by the interviewee)

Because he doesn't like copy-and-paste ordinary wedding officiants, Nuomi also holds the microphone of the wedding officiant in his own hands. Even if you sometimes forget words and stumble over, compared with the hard and stereotyped "process" of strangers, the wedding you presided over is obviously more intimate and real.

After the dinner, the happy atmosphere of the wedding was pushed to a small climax. A variety of games really turn the wedding scene into an "amusement park" for guests and couples to enjoy together. After the wedding, my friend joked with Nuomi: "Why did you roll the wedding like this?"

A wedding can be more than a social gathering

Before holding her own "four-no wedding", Po once attended a wedding that impressed her.

In that occasion, dominated by the couple's parents, there were thousands of guests, but the newcomers could only name five or six tables. At their own weddings, the bride and groom have to carefully and treadly cater to less familiar guests. At the end of the day, the two of them had no happiness in starting a family, and only fatigue was left on their faces.

"What's the point of a couple having a wedding?" Po couldn't help but ask himself: "If the wedding doesn't revolve around the love of two people, then this 'social party' will be meaningless." ”

 Traditional wedding ceremonies are complicated. (Photo/"Happiness to Ten Thousand Homes")

So, when she got married, Po, who was financially independent, fought for the right to host the wedding with her husband. They have canceled the traditional wedding reception, worship, return to the door and other links, from the banquet list to the wedding process are independently conceived and planned by the couple, minimizing unnecessary entertainment.

In the process of preparing for marriage, "no traditional ceremony is equivalent to not getting married", "not receiving relatives means not getting married", "not having a round table to eat is simply not presentable", and other unfriendly voices are still emerging. In the face of such a voice, the parents showed the greatest support and went to explain to the little couple in person, which moved and sighed to Bao.

"The word 'marry, marry' itself is nothing special, and the meaning of a ceremony is always exaggerated by outsiders. The more this happens, the more I want to have the wedding I want. ”

Po finally set the theme of the wedding as "Love Never Stops". For her, the wedding should not be a social gathering, but a "opening ceremony" in the name of love: "The guests are all our classmates, and from now on, we can learn how to love together." ”

 The bride and groom and their guests are setting off cold fireworks. (Photo/Provided by the interviewee)

Mr. and Mrs. Carina, who settled in Shanghai after returning from studying abroad, also had many considerations when preparing for marriage: the almost "necessary" spoof part when picking up relatives was really out of place, and the feeling of "sending off" their daughter in the wedding car was also uncomfortable. Not to mention the groomsmen and bridesmaids who serve the newlyweds, not only make their friends tired, but also make themselves owe favors.

Since these ceremonies feel thankless, simply cancel them all and hold a party-style "three-no wedding" with no kisses, no convoys, and no groomsmen.

At the party, the round table of the dinner was transformed into a free-spirited Western-style buffet, and Carina invited married relatives and friends to celebrate her marriage and ask for vows. It is precisely because there is no meaningless entertainment and links that both newcomers and guests can feel and understand more immersively the meaning that "marriage" is about to bring to two people and two families.

 After the dinner, the After Party was a tacit game of raising shoes. (Photo/Provided by the interviewee)

A wedding that satisfies both generations can exist

In the collision of traditional weddings and "four-no weddings", it is indeed difficult for the opinions of the two generations to be unified. On the one hand, parents want to announce that their children have entered a new stage of life with a grand wedding ceremony, and on the other hand, young people also have their own insistence on the experience of wedding.

How to make the wedding finally meet the expectations of the two generations at the same time through reasonable communication is the primary issue faced by young people who choose the "four no-weddings".

Recalling his simple lawn wedding, Li Xingxing is still very excited. Although the husband and wife are hands-on, the parents of both parties, who have always expressed their support, are the heroes of the successful wedding.

 The newlyweds walk to the palace of marriage amid the cheers of the guests. (Photo/Provided by the interviewee)

"In the face of doubts from relatives, our elders insisted that 'young people have their own ideas, just be happy with them.'" A simple sentence is already the greatest encouragement for us. Li Xingxing said.

In fact, the contradiction between old and new wedding planning ideas is not irreconcilable, and most parents are willing to accept new proposals from their children. But if you want to meet the small expectations of your parents, holding two weddings will be a compromise choice for many young people. After all, weddings are not only important for couples, but also for parents.

After consulting with their parents, the Orange couple decided to hold a wedding at each of their homes - one was a traditional wedding with a relatively complete process, and the other was a "three-no wedding" without kissing, bridesmaids, groomsmen, and officiants. The planning of the two sides does not interfere with each other and respects each other.

At the first wedding, he fulfilled his dream of being a princess, and at the second wedding, he became "someone else's child" who was "actionable" and "thoughtful" in the mouth of his relatives, such a plan was not a compromise for Orange, but a "win-win".

Most of the "four-nil weddings" can indeed bring many joys to the couple and guests beyond the traditional wedding, but in the face of the reality and the guidance of relatives and friends, not everyone has the courage to make it a reality.

 In recent years, Chinese weddings have also become popular among young people. (Photo/"Do You Know If You Should Be Green, Fat, Red and Thin")

Po also understands this: "No matter how your wedding goes, it is only a very small part of life. If you compromise on the wedding, it doesn't matter, just remember to please yourself in the rest of your life. ”

Nowadays, when self-pleasing and practical consumption have gradually become the mainstream, a small and beautiful wedding may be more popular with young people than a cheesy ceremony of "announcing the world".

After all, for them, having a wedding is no longer a simple consumption behavior, but a work carefully polished by themselves, and an opportunity to show their lifestyle and express their attitude to life.

 Creative couples will also rent a bus as a wedding car. (Photo/Screenshot of Xiaohongshu)

But that doesn't mean young people don't take wedding ceremonies seriously. According to the "Marriage Industry Insight White Paper" released by Gu Yu Data in 2021, the average cost of a young person's wedding is as high as 174,000 yuan, which is 8 times the average monthly income of both couples, and 42% of the newlyweds will exceed their budget in the actual spending.

It is precisely because of the importance that young people attach to weddings that in recent years, there has been a hot new demand for professional bridesmaids, wedding planners, wedding secretaries, licensed follow-ups, destination weddings, travel photography and other wedding industries. From the booking and layout of the venue, the category of wedding banquet dishes, to the placement of each flower and the choice of a candy...... The wedding needs of each generation are constantly changing.

But at the end of the day, what every generation of young people wants most is just a relaxing and enjoyable ceremony for the guests and hosts.

Proofreading: Yang Chao, Operation: Ono, Typesetting: Tan Xin

 How "profitable" is it to hold a wedding for young people?, Shocking Research Institute