Middle-aged women are emotionally stable and are loved
A good husband comes before a good wife.
The best investment in life is to choose the right lover and treat your wife well.
Author | Coke Mom
I once read such a passage:
"A cold and melancholy woman, there is always a man behind her;
A woman who is irritable and irritable, there is always a man behind her who doesn't care about her family;
And a woman who is emotionally soothing, gentle and generous, her husband must be a person who knows how to love and can love. ”
When I heard this sentence before, I always felt that it was too arbitrary.
But as I grew older, I realized that it was me who was slapped in the face.
There are two striking examples around me.
One is my college classmate Zhu Zhu.
Her family conditions are good, her husband is a university professor, and she gave birth to two lovely twin sons after marriage.
But Zhuzhu rarely sees a smile on her face, and she often gets angry over a little thing.
As soon as Zhuzhu mentioned this, she couldn't help but redden, and she said aggrievedly: "I also want to talk well and not lose my temper, but I really can't control myself......"
Zhuzhu's words can't help but remind me of my cousin.
She and Zhuzhu are the same age, but they have completely different living conditions.
On weekdays, my cousin always speaks slowly and logically, and she never blushes with anyone.
After the son entered puberty, the relationship between the cousin-in-law and the son became tense as soon as he was not careful, but the cousin could always easily resolve it in a few words and untie the knot between the two.
When I was with my cousin, I always felt like time had slowed down the pendulum and fallen into her tenderness.
Perhaps in the eyes of outsiders, Zhuzhu and her cousin are born with two personalities.
But in my eyes, the difference between them is actually the man behind them.
Zhuzhu's mother-in-law has a strong personality and has always had a bad relationship with Zhuzhu, and her husband is busy with work and turns a blind eye to Zhuzhu's requests for help and complaints.
And although my cousin-in-law is just an ordinary clerk, he is obedient to my cousin.
Every time my cousin came home late at night from overtime, my cousin-in-law would always give her a warm hug and serve her a bowl of hot white fungus soup.
When people reach middle age, life is like a battle, and firewood, rice, oil, and salt are all ambushes.
As a woman who has been in marriage for many years, I have deeply felt countless times that many times, it is not that we do not want to be a gentle wife and an emotionally peaceful mother.
It's just because I've been isolated for a long time that I've been forced to become a sharp hedgehog.
World champion Li Na once complained on the show that her husband is her "eldest son".
She was cooking in the kitchen, and she was already in a hurry, and the two children were still calling "Mommy" one after another in the living room.
At this time, the husband was lying on the sofa leisurely, playing with his mobile phone with Erlang's legs.
Seeing this scene, Li Na was immediately furious.
She was extremely glad that she had put down the kitchen knife before going to the living room.
It's obviously a baby of two people, but only one person is busy;
It's obviously a common family, but it has to be carried by one person.
After a long time like this, my mother's energy will be exhausted.
Just like a broken glass bottle, when the water inside is poured, naturally only the glass ballast remains, and only the attack and edge remain.
And these bad moods, many times, are like a gun.
When the woman pulled the trigger and shot at others, the other muzzle was actually aimed at herself.
In May of this year, there was such a news that made my heart ache:
The villagers of Tiantian Town, Yuexi County, Anhui Province found that there seemed to be a person floating in the river, and went down to the river to fish, only to find that it was not one person, but three:
An adult, two children, their hands tightly tied together by ropes.
It turned out that it was a mother and daughter trio.
The woman's surname is Wang, and she is 35 years old this year, and her two children, the eldest is only 8 years old, and the younger is only 2 years old.
According to the woman's father, the daughter and son-in-law have been married for more than ten years, until three years ago, the two went through the divorce procedures, but they still live together.
But because the son-in-law's family is patriarchal, when the daughter gave birth to two girls, she began to treat her with all kinds of cold violence.
Ignoring the child, even when the child is sick, the daughter is alone and borrows money to buy medicine for the child.
The two often quarrel when they disagree.
Even before the woman jumped into the river with the child, the two had an argument.
Many people commented on the news that women were too impulsive, selfish and indifferent, but I couldn't say anything accusatory.
What really broke the camel's back was never the last straw, but every single one.
When grievance and helplessness fill the whole heart, from patience to collapse, it is only in an instant.
Imagine:
He who once promised you a couple for a lifetime, one day suddenly put away all his tenderness, and stabbed your soft underbelly over and over again with a hideous face.
As a woman, just to endure all this has exhausted all her strength.
At this time, how can we be emotionally stable, gentle and peaceful?
What does a middle-aged woman want most?
An answer on Zhihu has pierced the hearts of countless people:
"After giving birth, I always have to get up at night, wake up at three o'clock in the morning, lie in the quiet and boundless night, and unconsciously burst into tears;
I wish someone would take me in my arms and wipe away my tears, but no, the children are still young, the parents are old, and the lover is cold. ”
Yes, a woman is willing to give all her love for her family and children, but who can give this lonely us a hug and some love?
I've seen a hot post:
After a woman gave birth, her family and friends thought she had become very irritable.
Even her own husband often complains about her, saying "neurotic, you can lose your temper about anything".
At first glance, do you think women are a big problem?
However, after reading her story, I just wanted to cry.
After giving birth, her nipples were cracked, but her family disliked her for having no milk and was hungry for the child.
There was no way, she could only use a breast pump, making herself flesh and blood blur, and finally sucked out some milk, and the family finally showed a satisfied smile.
From beginning to end, no one cared about whether she hurt or not.
In the middle of the night, "all kinds of people who love the baby have slept, and they all ignore his crying, and I am the only one to take care of him." ”
The host Jin Xing once said:
"Women are water, if you meet me at 0 degrees, I will immediately become ice, if you love me at 100 degrees, I will boil immediately, and if you use 50 degrees to me, I will be lukewarm. ”
A few years ago, I met a friend Ye Zi online, who had asked me for help because of the problems of her family of origin.
Yezi's parents divorced when she was very young, and neither party wanted her, so Xiao Yezi could only live in different relatives' homes, and she saw the faces of others at a young age.
Therefore, she has a sensitive personality and low self-esteem, and always unconsciously puts on a defensive and offensive posture in the face of others.
Everyone said she was difficult to get along with until she met her current husband.
Ye Zi's husband can always find the shining points in her, and the circle of friends he posts is full of praise for Ye Zi.
What leaves are so delicious to cook, leaves are really caring to rescue stray animals, and the appearance of leaves working hard is so charming......
After having a child, her husband still puts leaves first.
Even the children "complained" that their parents were true love, and they seemed to have picked them up.
It is this love that makes the leaves gradually open their hearts and no longer sharp.
Some time ago, Ye Zi sent me a photo of traveling with his family.
In the photo, her whole person looks stretched, her face is full of happy smiles, and her eyes are also shining, without the slightest indifference and anger before.
In fact, middle-aged women never want much.
A hug and a few warm words are enough to cure all our bad emotions and make us turn back into that gentle, cute little girl.
The host Yang Lan said this:
"The so-called husband and wife is when you are most helpless and weak, when you are most depressed and depressed, there is a person who holds up your chin, straightens your spine, and accompanies you to bear your fate together.
At that time, in addition to love, the feelings between you also had the righteousness of treating each other with all sincerity, the tacit understanding of never abandoning, and the unforgettable kindness. ”
Marriage is never a one-man show.
The most chilling thing for a woman is that she works hard, and the person who said that she wants to go together for the rest of her life puts on an attitude that it doesn't matter to herself, and lets the two drift apart.
Especially for middle-aged couples, when the relationship tends to be flat and the pressure of life increases sharply, then the man's attitude is particularly important.
And smart men know how to treat their wives well and run a family.
After all, a good husband comes before a good wife.
A man's attitude determines the mood of his wife, and the mood of his wife determines the future of a family.