I never imagined that one day, I would change my mind because of a simple conversation.
It was an ordinary afternoon, and I was busy cleaning up the house at home. Suddenly, I heard my husband arguing with his brother in the living room.
"How can you treat your mother like this?!" the husband's voice was a little agitated.
"She's my son and I know she's the best. What qualifications do you have as an outsider to preach?!" growled her husband's brother.
When I heard this, I couldn't help but sneer in my heart. In the 25 years of husband and wife, I am also the son-in-law who married in the past, but I have never been treated as a member of the family.
However, this quarrel was an opportunity for me to re-examine the family.
"Dad, do you think it's appropriate for me as an outsider to serve my mother-in-law?" I suddenly interjected.
My husband and his brother looked at me, and for a moment the room fell silent.
"Daughter-in-law, what are you talking about?" the husband's brother was a little angry.
"I'm just an outsider, and I have no obligation to serve my mother-in-law. I said coldly.
"You are a member of our family, so you naturally have the obligation to take care of my mother. The husband frowned.
I sneered. For 25 years, I was treated like an outsider, and now they want me to serve my paralyzed mother-in-law, which is ridiculous.
"I won't serve her, you can find someone else. Without hesitation, I walked out of the house.
I came to the park in the community, and I was in a bit of a mess. I've never been so against my husband, but this time, I felt like I was doing the right thing.
Suddenly, I heard an old man's voice: "Little girl, why are you sitting here alone?
I looked up and saw an old woman next to me, who was walking in the park with a little boy.
I told my grandmother about my troubles, and she smiled and said, "Little girl, let me tell you the truth, sometimes the problem in our lives is not that others treat you badly, but that we care too much, so we feel wronged."
My grandmother's words touched my heart. I began to think about the bits and pieces of the past 25 years, the care and coaxing of my husband, the care and concern of their family for me, in fact, it has always been there.
When I got home, I decided to have a good talk with my husband. I don't want to ruin our relationship for another argument like this.
When I got home, I found my husband and we sat down and had a good talk.
"I know my reaction was a bit intense, but I really felt aggrieved. I said frankly.
After hearing this, the husband also said seriously: "Maybe my family is not perfect for you, but they are also sincere in their kindness to you."
We started to communicate openly and honestly, and I gradually understood my husband's heart and my family's attitude towards me.
Soon after, an unexpected contradiction reappeared.
One day, the husband's mother needed to be hospitalized for a long time due to her worsening condition. After discussing with my family, it was decided that I should quit my job and return home to take care of my mother-in-law, who was seriously ill.
I'm very conflicted about it. I understand the hardships of caring for patients, but I don't want to be a burden to the whole family, and I feel that my husband's younger brother or sister should take on this responsibility.
"I know it's not easy for you to take care of your mother-in-law, but it's our family's responsibility. My husband said to me eagerly.
"You're not being fair to me, I'm not from this family!" I got emotional.
Our quarrel went on for a long time, and in the end, we reached a compromise. I would go to the hospital to take care of my mother-in-law, but my husband had to help me with the caregiving.
The turnaround took place in the middle of the afternoon. I was taking care of my mother-in-law in the hospital when the children came to visit. Seeing the thin appearance of the mother-in-law, the children were very distressed, and they offered to take turns to take care of the mother-in-law.
I looked at these children with a lot of emotion. Perhaps, not everything is perfect in this family, but everyone is working hard and paying for the whole family.
I began to slowly change my opinion, and I gradually accepted the family and understood my husband's efforts.
I decided to sit down with my husband and have a good talk. That night, we sat quietly in the living room.
"I know I surprised you with my attitude this time. "But I think there is someone else who can take better care of my mother-in-law besides me."
My husband looked at me, was silent for a moment, and finally sighed. "You're right, I haven't considered your feelings. This time it was my mistake, I'm sorry.
This sentence surprised me a little. In 25 years, he rarely apologized to me, and this attitude touched me a little.
"Actually, I didn't think that you also have such confusion. The husband continued, "But mom needs someone to take care of me now, and I hope you can understand."
I thought, and he had a point. My mother-in-law is paralyzed and really needs to be taken care of.
"I understand, but I want things to be fair at home. I said, hoping he would listen.
This time, I think we had a good conversation. His attitude made me feel like I had changed a little.
A few days after that, my husband and I started taking care of my mother-in-law together. Although I was a little uncomfortable, I tried hard to adjust my mentality and slowly got used to this kind of life.
However, family conflicts do not seem to have gone away because of this conversation. One day a month later, there was an accident in our family.
On that day, I was scrubbing my mother-in-law's body. Suddenly, I heard my son's cry, and I quickly put down what I was doing and ran to the bedroom.
"What's wrong, what's going on?" I asked my son nervously.
"Grandma fainted!" said my son, crying.
My heart tightened, and I hurriedly ran to the bedroom. The mother-in-law was lying on the bed, pale and unconscious.
"Quick, call 120!" I said anxiously to my husband.
The husband hesitated, "Didn't Mom faint a lot before? Maybe it will be fine after a while." ”
I looked at my husband in amazement, incredulous at his words. I couldn't believe my ears when he said something like that.
"How can you say that, go call!" I grabbed my husband and rushed out of the bedroom.
I was sitting in the living room and my husband was sitting next to me. I was silent for a while, and finally broke the silence.
"I just feel like what I've been doing for 25 years is just to get the attention of some family members who have always seen me as an outsider.
My husband frowned when he heard my words.
"I know how you feel, but you also have to understand that this is a tradition in our family, and the elders will always look after each other instead of caring about the mother-in-law.
"This tradition suffocates me. I'm not saying I don't want to take care of my family, but the family is always in your definition, and I'm just an outsider.
The husband's eyes were full of helplessness, and he said softly: "Maybe this time will be an opportunity for change." ”
Our conversation didn't come to any consensus, but at the very least, I'm willing to give the family one more chance.
Time passed, and a new paradox occurred. My husband's sister objected in the family, and she argued that I was not obliged to take care of the paralyzed elderly people in the family.
"We can't sit idly by, after all, she's our mom. And daughter-in-law, you are not an outsider either. The husband said in a firm tone.
This time, I felt the support of my husband, which made me feel extremely warm. Maybe it's a new beginning, and I can revisit the family with a different eye.
In the future, there may be more contradictions and challenges waiting for us, but I am not afraid. Because, this home is worthy of my cherishing and guarding.