People with low emotional intelligence speak without their brains and often hurt others
A typical person with low emotional intelligence often speaks so much that he often hurts others unintentionally.
For example, Xiao Wang, he has a straightforward personality and never hides his true thoughts when he speaks. Friends say he is very sincere and never does tai chi. But this often brings a lot of trouble to Xiao Wang.
Once, Xiao Wang attended a class reunion, and there was a girl named Xiao Li, Xiao Wang had a bad impression of her, and felt that she was hypocritical and insincere. At the party, everyone mentioned that Xiao Li had recently been admitted to a graduate offer from a well-known university.
Xiao Wang couldn't help but say: "I think that people like Xiao Li must rely on relationships to get in, and their strength is so average."
These words immediately made the atmosphere awkward, and Xiao Li's face became ugly. After that, Xiao Li never interacted with Xiao Wang again, and many of Xiao Wang's friends also had opinions about him.
Someone woke up Xiao Wang afterwards, and his blunt criticism might make Xiao Li feel humiliated. In fact, Xiao Li's admission to this prestigious school may also be the result of strength and hard work.
Even if there is a recommendation, you should congratulate it as a friend.
But Xiao Wang didn't realize what his problem was, he thought he was just telling the truth. In his opinion, sincerity is the most important thing, and sometimes it doesn't matter if the truth is ugly.
In fact, Xiao Wang's words revealed that he couldn't think from Xiao Li's point of view. Everyone has their own privacy and choices, and they should not be criticized at will.
Xiao Wang's outspoken bad habits will only make him hit walls everywhere in his interpersonal relationships.
A mature person needs to learn to empathize and put themselves in the shoes of others, rather than just telling the truth about themselves. A little more understanding and tolerance towards others, the relationship will be much better.
Xiao Wang's example reflects that people with low emotional intelligence often speak openly, which not only does not make him appear sincere, but also makes him limited in his interpersonal relationships.
I hope that Xiao Wang can realize the seriousness of the problem and learn to think more from the perspective of others, so as to avoid many unnecessary misunderstandings and injuries, and become a more caring and wise person.
People with low emotional intelligence like to show off online and get unrecognized as a result
Many people with low emotional intelligence have a problem, that is, they like to show off their extravagant consumption and material life everywhere online. But this kind of ostentation often does not bring the desired effect, but is resented by others.
For example, Xiao Liu, who has a well-to-do family, often buys some expensive brand bags or wears designer clothes. In order to show his consumption strength, Xiao Liu often sells his luxury goods on social networking sites, shows the high-end apartments he lives in, and drives luxury cars.
But this behavior caused some friends to resent it. Some people think that Xiao Liu's show-off is too exaggerated and loses his identity. Some people also think that Xiao Liu is exposing his vanity.
As a result, some of Xiao Liu's good friends couldn't get used to this kind of performance and took the initiative to distance themselves from him.
In fact, Xiao Liu's behavior of showing off like this is mainly to make up for his inner lack of confidence through external famous brands. He mistakenly believes that only having these can make a successful person.
But in fact, truly confident people don't need to rely on these external symbols.
If Xiao Liu can think from the perspective of a friend, he should understand that the most important thing is the inner quality and values, rather than simple comparison.
Mature people don't prove themselves by such superficial means.
I hope that Xiao Liu will realize the essence of the problem and stop this meaningless show-off. True satisfaction and self-confidence come from within, not from the outward material life. When he changes his way of life and gets out of this wrong mentality, he will be able to win the respect and recognition of more people.
This is also a classic example of the high level of vanity in people with low emotional intelligence. But this kind of ostentatious luxury practice not only does not bring him respect, but also loses many real friends.
As a mature and confident person, you need to pay more attention to the cultivation of inner qualities.
People with low emotional intelligence like to argue about right and wrong and don't accept advice
People with low emotional intelligence also tend to have a characteristic, that is, they like to argue with others about right and wrong, even if they know they are wrong. This behavior actually reflects their strong vanity.
For example, Xiao Zhao has such a problem, every time he discusses a problem with a friend, he always has to emphasize his own opinions, and insists on his own opinions, rarely accepting other people's opinions.
Once, Xiao Zhao and his friend Xiao Sun discussed the evaluation of a movie. Xiao Sun thinks it's a very touching movie, but Xiao Zhao insists it's just a commercial gimmick.
The two argued about this for a long time. Later, Xiao Sun found many film critics to support his opinion, indicating that this is indeed a good quality movie. But Xiao Zhao still refuses to budge, thinking that those movie reviews are not necessarily objective and fair.
This incident made Xiao Sun very disappointed, and felt that Xiao Zhao was too rigid. He suggested that Xiao Zhao should adopt a more open and mutually inspiring attitude when discussing issues in the future, rather than just fighting for life and death.
But Xiao Zhao did not accept this suggestion.
In fact, Xiao Zhao's behavior of picking his own position comes from his vanity. He wanted to prove that his vision and opinions were the most accurate. But mature people should realize that the purpose of discussion is to exchange ideas and inspire each other, not simply to argue about right and wrong.
I hope Xiao Zhao can realize this, let go of unnecessary vanity, and communicate with people with a more open mind. Everyone's perspective has limitations, and only by comparing multiple parties can we get a more comprehensive judgment.
When he changes his stubborn mentality, he can also get real results from the discussion.
This reflects the fact that people with low emotional intelligence tend to think too highly of themselves and are reluctant to accept different opinions. But this stubborn attitude not only does not make him appear more professional, but will make him more and more isolated in interpersonal interactions.
People with low emotional intelligence always transmit negative emotions to their friends
People with low emotional intelligence also have a problem, that is, they like to convey their negative emotions to their friends, which affects their emotional state. But this act of dependence appears very childish and selfish.
For example, Xiao Zhang, when he encounters anything that doesn't go his way, he has to talk to a friend immediately. Some time ago, he was frustrated because he didn't get an offer because he submitted his resume.
So his first reaction was to call his good friend Xiao Li and vent his pain and disappointment in one go, without considering that Xiao Li might also be busy or unavailable.
As a result, Xiao Li's interest in going out to play was completely lost by him, so he could only cancel the activity to comfort Xiao Zhang. There are countless examples of this, and Xiao Zhang often transmits his negative emotions to his friends, affecting their mood.
But Zhang was completely unaware of his problem. He believes that friends should support each other and work side by side through difficult times. As everyone knows, mature people don't rely on others to solve their emotional problems like this.
In fact, everyone has their own life and their own problems to face. Imposing problems on others will not really solve the problem, it will only make it worse for both sides.
I hope that Xiao Zhang will realize this and learn to deal with his frustrations and losses more independently, instead of blindly relying on friends to confide in him to feel better.
When he can effectively release his negative emotions, he will be better able to maintain a positive relationship with his friends.
This incident reflects the fact that people with low emotional intelligence are unable to deal effectively with their negative emotions and want to rely on others for comfort or venting. But this kind of dependency is both naïve and selfish, and will not achieve good results, but will only damage the relationship between the two parties.
As mature people, you need to learn to take on your own problems and not impose them on others.
People with low emotional intelligence need to improve their empathy skills
Empathy is an important component of emotional intelligence. It allows us to understand the feelings and thoughts of others, which is the foundation of maintaining relationships.
But the people in these examples are detached from empathetic understanding of others and react with self-centeredness. This kind of selfishness and arrogance mentality makes them hit walls everywhere.
If they want to improve their emotional intelligence, they need to start by empathizing with others – putting themselves in the shoes of others and thinking more about how their words and actions will affect others.
When you can see things from someone else's point of view, many misunderstandings and injuries can be avoided.
In addition, vanity needs to be controlled and not to try to obtain false gratification from the outside. True self-confidence and satisfaction should come from within, not from the outside.
When a person learns to care for others, understand others, and give in with others, there will be a major change in the way he behaves in the world. He will become more mature and steady, and it will be easier for him to gain the respect and liking of others.
Improving emotional intelligence takes a long time, but with consistent effort, you can become a wiser and more welcoming person.
Improving emotional intelligence requires five areas to start with
Through the above analysis, we can see that the following points need to be paid attention to to improve emotional intelligence:
First, enhance empathy and empathy. Thinking from the perspective of others and putting yourself in their shoes can avoid many unnecessary harms.
Second, control vanity. Don't rely solely on external brands and luxury goods to prove yourself, which will only be seen as vanity. True self-confidence comes from within, not from outward comparisons.
Third, we should communicate with others in a way that inspires each other. Don't argue rigidly about right and wrong in order to prove your point, it doesn't lead to true knowledge. Be open and humble to absorb opinions from all sides.
Fourth, learn to take on negative emotions independently. Mature people don't rely on others to solve their own problems. You should learn to resolve your own loss and pain reasonably, and don't blindly infect the people around you.
Fifth, you need to think about the consequences before you speak. Don't say hurtful things casually, you need to be cautious. Because language can deeply affect a person's emotions.
Usually people with low emotional intelligence have one or more of the above problems. If you can work these aspects, you will naturally become a wiser and more likable person.
When a person knows how to understand and care for others, his life path will also become smoother. Improving emotional intelligence takes a long-term effort, but the outcome determines the height of life.
I hope that everyone can become a person who understands the truth and behaves in an extraordinary way.