During this time, mycoplasma pneumonia was raging and children's hospitals were overcrowded.
When some netizens were in the hospital, they photographed many children writing homework while infusion.
This scene is stunned by the people who watch!
Some hospitals, in order to facilitate children's homework, even deliberately opened a "children's infusion learning area".
Some parents are proud of the spirit of learning with their babies when they are sick:
"The memory of not being in the line of fire with minor injuries, not flinching from illness, and having a group of sick children challenge difficulties with him will bring him a lifetime of pride...... Life is not simple, it needs to be sharpened!"
But behind such a crazy "volume", what is the meaning?
A medical worker saw the children struggling to write while they were sick, and said distressedly:
"During my illness, I had fever, dizziness, fatigue, and it was uncomfortable to lie down. Let the child write homework while infusion, just like we have a high fever and have to do PPT. ”
As everyone knows, parents blindly roll up and lie flat, and they are dragging down their children step by step.
01
Blind involution and lying flat: it will drag down the child
Parents who lie flat only exert themselves on their children
Many parents are chickens, but they are in a state of "lying flat" every day.
CCTV once filmed an educational short film "Listen, Children Are Talking".
There is a plot in it: a family of three sits together, the father plays games, and the mother is addicted to watching dramas, but she turns a blind eye to the needs of her children.
The daughter had no choice but to hold her doll and whisper, "You want me to study hard, but you usually can't control yourself." ”
This is also a true portrayal of many families.
The most taboo thing about education is that parents only work their children, but they lie flat and rotten.
Every word and deed of parents will be sensitively captured by children.
Parents who lie flat, when they are crazy about chicken babies, the prestige of their parents will also be greatly reduced, and the children may be completely lying flat, rotten, and become Buddhist.
In November 2021, Professor Peng Kaiping of Tsinghua University led a team and Xinhua News Agency to conduct a survey of more than 300,000 primary and secondary school students, and found that:
Most children are in a state of "four nos" with no motivation to learn, no interest in the real world, no ability to socialize, and no sense of the value of life.
Endless homework every day and constantly increasing learning tasks can easily make children on the verge of collapse and lose their motivation and enthusiasm for learning.
This is also the root cause of many children suffering from mental illness at a young age.
Behind the involution, there is the anxiety of parents who have nowhere to put it
According to the "Survey Report on the Status of Parent-Child Education in China", 87% of parents have anxiety, nearly 20% have moderate anxiety, and 7% have severe anxiety.
Some parents pass on this anxiety to their children, overwhelming their children's psychology.
An 11-year-old boy in Hangzhou called the police late at night.
He broke down and cried to the police that he had missed three weeks of homework due to illness, and when he was just a little sick, his mother asked him to make up for it all.
There is also a recent hot search news.
A 10-year-old boy in Shijiazhuang ran away after class, and when the rescue team found him, the child said that he was stressed and did not want to go home, so his family enrolled in many study classes.
Some parents who were originally calm were coerced by the anxiety around them, and had no choice but to embark on the road of chicken baby involution.
As a mother in Wuhan said:
She took her children to the hospital to see a doctor, and she didn't plan to let her children do their homework in the hospital, but when she arrived at the hospital, she saw that other children were hurrying to study, and her children could only study together. ”
When a child is sick, parents are not distressed.
Thinking that other children are studying desperately, these anxious parents do not dare to let their children stop, even if their children are sick, they cannot delay their learning progress.
This scene reminds me of the famous "theater effect" in psychology:
"In the cinema, everyone was sitting and watching movies. Suddenly, a man stood up, blocking the view of those behind him. The people behind had no choice but to stand up as well. Gradually, everyone stood up. ”
Parents' excessive anxiety about their children's learning and their obsession with going to prestigious schools constantly put pressure on their children at all levels, constantly increasing the pressure, and finally letting children fall into a black hole of negative emotions, and many children have become "hollow people".
Professor Yi Zhongtian once said:
"The goal of Chinese education is to achieve success by rote memorization and constant pressure. As for whether the child is kind, healthy, or happy, no one thinks. ”
After some children enter junior high school, as the intensity of learning increases, when there is learning pressure, they will not be able to bear the pressure, and a series of emotional problems such as lack of concentration, anxiety, and depression will occur.
A study published in the prestigious journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS) found that stress interferes with the function of the prefrontal lobe, causing a "short circuit" in the brain.
Stress triggers a series of neurochemical reactions in the brain that not only weaken the control of the prefrontal cortex, impairing the function of the higher "executive" areas of the brain, but also enhancing the influence of those brain regions that are more evolutionarily old.
The greater the stress, the greater the cost of attention switching, and the weaker the functional connection between the prefrontal lobe and other brain regions.
Relevant studies have shown that children's attention level is closely related to the development of the frontal lobe in the brain.
To improve children's concentration, parents can start by training their children's prefrontal cortex.
EEG biofeedback training adopts a multi-point training method to exercise our brain more comprehensively and accurately, strengthen the previous link between the prefrontal cortex and the neural network, and improve the activity of the prefrontal cortex.
EEG biofeedback training
Through the accumulation of an appropriate amount of EEG training frequency and frequency, children's brains can get rid of the influence of original habits, and on the basis of improving concentration and thinking ability, they can develop new habits that can naturally concentrate in the face of learning, and form the best brain habits!
02
Refusing to roll up and lying flat, parents should do these 3 things well
A child psychiatrist once said:
"There is a lot of social pressure, and it is passed down layer by layer, and the weakest link is these children.
In order to win at the starting line, very young children have to be involved in the track and under a lot of pressure. If you put too much pressure on your child at the beginning, it will crush your child. ”
It is understandable that parents want their sons to become dragons and their daughters to become phoenixes, but excessive involution and lying flat will become a "shackle" that restricts the growth of children.
Refuse to roll up and lie flat, parents should do these 3 things well!
01
Let go of involution and anxiety, and keep a normal mind
The famous cartoonist Cai Zhizhong, the way he raises children is unique.
Compared to other chicken baby parents:
He never restricted his daughter's studies, nor did he force her to participate in cram schools and interest classes;
He never compares his daughter with other children, even if his daughter scores zero in math, he will not be anxious, but invites his daughter to eat steak, and praises his daughter and says:
"Wow, it's a zero score, that's amazing. It's like walking through a kilometer of minefield and not even one of them has been hit. ”
Someone questioned his free-range education and asked him, "What will happen to your daughter if you raise your daughter like this?"
But his ordinary parenting style has raised his daughter very well:
After graduating from high school, his daughter was interviewed by four well-known universities in the United States, and after entering college, she also got a double degree.
02
Supporting children to develop their potential strengths
When parents let go of their anxieties and discover their children's strengths, you will find that their children's potential is stimulated.
In the documentary "Amazing Mother", there is a mother named Li Qi. She and her child's father are both returnee elites, but her son is an out-and-out scumbag.
But they are not anxious about their children's education at all, but very relaxed.
She completed her reconciliation with reality and herself early:
"A child is born with his mission, he has his way. What parents need to do is to help their children develop their strengths, avoid their weaknesses, and maximize their children's potential. ”
Therefore, even if she sees that her son's solution to the problem is wrong, she will not directly say it and deny her son.
Seeing children indulging in "useless" hobbies, such as playing games, programming, studying computer construction, cutting videos, etc.
She never forced to stop it, but did everything she could to support her son.
In the family atmosphere of unconditional trust and letting go of his parents, the boy founded his own publishing house at school, with more than 800 fans on station B, published two comic books, and taught himself to become a first-class programmer.
As the writer Lin Qingxuan said: "A good boy is not the first place, but the seed of awakening the heart." ”
03
The importance of parents teaching by example
Children are only likely to change when parents lead by example.
Shandong has a well-known "Xueba Village".
In a small village of less than 500 households, there are 16 doctors, more than 30 masters, more than 100 undergraduates, and every household has college students.
But this village, most of them are farmers, and their cultural level is not high, but they will create a very good learning atmosphere for children.
The father of a female doctor in the village would pick up the newspaper and read it carefully every day whenever he was free, and he had been reading it for 20 years.
Under the influence of ears and eyes, with the thirst for knowledge, the daughter studied hard, went out of her hometown, and was admitted to the doctorate.
As one of the books I read said:
"When adults are willing to take responsibility for the conflicts caused by their actions, children are usually willing to follow the example of adults and take responsibility for themselves. ”
I think so!
In the variety show "Super Brain Boy", a school-top father shared his education secrets, that is: "Squeeze your own time to play games for your children, and learn as much as your children learn."
Parents' words and deeds will subtly shape children's behavior, way of thinking and character, which is more effective than physical discipline and nagging.
When parents let go of anxiety, refuse to lie down, set a good example for their children, and believe that their children will also shine their own light.
Dr. Wu Jun, former vice president of Tencent, once said:
"Education is only one thing, to bring out the potential hidden in a child's heart, so that he has the enthusiasm and motivation to learn for a lifetime. Education, and that's it. ”
Encouragement to all parents!