Coffee beans from the northern latitudes
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Wishing for a son to become a dragon and a daughter to become a phoenix is the deepest hope in the hearts of every parent, but there is this parent, as a doctor from Columbia University and an associate professor at Peking University, but he is willing to accept his daughter's mediocrity. [laughs]
My daughter was able to take the first place in the class in the first grade, and not only did she not apply for a tutoring class, but she even studied in a free-range manner, what did this big professor think? Would you accept this kind of education?
1. Laissez-faire and accept mediocrity
How many parents in modern society can let their children go freely, and how many people do not enroll their children in cram schools, but only let their children learn the knowledge taught in school? It must be very little, because children are the hope of parents, and not many people want their children to be willing to degenerate.
Under this general trend, there are still many people who do the opposite, which can be called a "clear stream" of modern education, some people have no money and no time to manage their children because their families are poor, some people do not ask for children because they are not good at learning, and some people really understand the hearts of children, and plan a new path for them.
The first few are not to be said, that is irresponsible, and the last kind of education is ingenious, refreshing, the use of this way to educate children celebrity is Peking University associate professor Ding Yanqing, when people interviewed him to ask why to teach children like this? Ding Yanqing helplessly said a "famous saying": "I taught her to defy the sky, she taught me to accept fate." ”
Yes, the associate professor of Peking University accepted his fate, and also saw the reality clearly, his daughter in the first grade showed a strong aversion to school, although he had personally taught many times, but this suppressed the child's nature, after thinking about it, he decided to make a change, change the way of educating children.
The three stages of life: accepting the mediocrity of parents, accepting one's own mediocrity, and accepting the mediocrity of children, seem to be light, but every hurdle is difficult to overcome, and it requires strong psychological quality and ideological height.
Life is given by parents, no one has the right to choose parents, you may see other children born at the peak, what toys, what high-end snacks, what aristocratic schools, and then look at yourself nothing, you may feel unfair or cynical thoughts, but those are all false, and only by truly recognizing the family and accepting the mediocrity of parents can you learn to be responsible.
It is easy to understand one's own mediocrity, that is, to live this life without waves, enjoy the bland happiness every day, do the same work with a standard salary, go home at night and see the rich, handsome, white and beautiful in the news, envy and jealousy and desire, have lofty ideals but do not realize them, and finally accept themselves to accept the reality and live a dull life.
The most painful thing in this stage is to accept the mediocrity of their children, and every parent hopes that their children are the dragon and phoenix among people, hoping that they can walk out of the extraordinary road, and even reach a higher level beyond their own height.
Many ordinary parents will put a lot of hope for themselves on their children, and even those extraordinary parents will tie even more extraordinary hopes to their children.
This causes children to be under a lot of pressure from an early age, and gradually their nature is worn out to become a good baby in the eyes of their parents, and the final outcome may be higher than their parents' achievements, but it is only so high when you think about it.
Professor Ding has obviously discovered this, and reluctantly resigned himself to his fate, and began to cultivate children's interests and hobbies, so that children can become more emotionally rich people.
But as a parent, how could you accept your fate without doing anything? How did Professor Ding do it in the beginning?
Second, the penultimate one, hate iron does not become steel
At first, Professor Ding was not so open-minded, but taught his precious daughter by words and deeds like ordinary parents, hated iron and even blamed his daughter.
In September 2020, in order to provide a better environment for his daughter to study, Professor Hu Ding sent her to the Primary School Affiliated to Peking University to study, hoping that a good learning atmosphere can stimulate her daughter, make her learn better and faster, and become a pillar of the country in the future.
But the school just started in September, came up for a month, and in the test in October, his daughter actually took the first place in the class, and even the second-to-last score was much higher than her daughter, which made Professor Ding Yanqing, who was known as a prodigy since childhood, have a dull face, and then the English teacher sent a video of her daughter's class, and other children listened carefully with their eyes, and their children were listless.
When her daughter came home from school, she directly took out the class video sent by the teacher and asked her daughter why she didn't take the class seriously, and the daughter just replied with three words: "I don't understand!"
Looking at the teacher's lecture in English in the video, it is estimated that my daughter will not understand for a while, and it is understandable, as long as Donu works hard, it is estimated that she will soon be able to catch up, with this idea, Professor Ding began to personally guide her daughter to learn and do homework.
A few days later, when Professor Ding went to the school to learn about the situation, he was surprised to find that the children in the class had mastered a terrifying amount of vocabulary, with an average vocabulary of thousands of words, which is estimated to be impossible for ordinary junior high school students.
Later, when he went home to teach his daughter, he found a serious problem, his daughter was not concentrating when she was studying, and she was slow to learn everything, which caused him to reflect.
When I was a child, I taught my daughter to memorize ancient poems, and she could read them twice, but her daughter had to read them four times, which proved that her daughter's memory ability was not as strong as her own, but she was not stupid, and she couldn't learn anything now.
So during the vacation at the end of the first semester, Professor Ding made a series of careful plans for his daughter, preparing for her to have a fundamental transformation before the end of the vacation, and directly to make a blockbuster.
But when Professor Ding's wife returned home, she looked gloomy, dragged Professor Ding into the bedroom and asked why she hadn't seen her daughter for so long, not only did she not grow taller, but she laughed much less every day than before, what was going on, why was this happening?
Coincidentally, my daughter came to the room at this time, as if she had been wronged by the heavens and cried, and then asked Professor Ding pitifully, "Dad, don't you love me if you don't like to study?"
In the wife's distress that her daughter opposes the high-intensity study plan, and the daughter does not agree with the plan, the matter of two votes to one vote is finally over, and the whole holiday has not learned any knowledge, and all the time is used to play, and it is estimated that the daughter's studies will fall a lot at the beginning of the new semester, but it will not be much less.
Then Professor Ding's video of complaining about his daughter in an interview came out, but complaining is complaining, he began to hope that his daughter can live better in this world, and he does not intend to suppress the child's nature, hoping that his daughter can become an active and emotional person.
In the face of netizens asking whether he was forced to compromise, Professor Ding's understanding is this: children are a gift from God, and each child's nature is very different.
Every child is a different variety of flowers, when the flower blooms, how much water to water during the period, what is the flowering cycle, no one knows that instead of raising different flowers according to the way of raising a flower, it is better to be calm and relaxed, carefully accompany, and witness the natural opening of flowers.
Third, the issue of education is thought-provoking
The problem of education has always existed since ancient times, the ancients of those high-ranking officials or scholars, there is only one requirement for their children, that is, to ask the children to take the test for fame or seek a half-official position, so it can be regarded as the glory of the ancestors, although modern people also have a bad idea of this kind of thinking, but they are in the minority.
Modern people hope that children learn well is to hope that they will have a skill in the future, and their parents will be able to be self-reliant and not starve to death when they are old.
In addition to letting go of their children's free development, there are also many celebrities who have unique ways of educating their children.
In the process of educating children, he values the children's ability to live independently, and hopes that the children can rely on their own efforts to master the ability to stand on society, instead of following their parents' buttocks and inheriting their father's business.
When his two sons were still very young, Li Ka-shing brought them into the board meeting, allowing them to listen and put forward their own opinions, so as to gain insight and improve their ability to analyze and deal with problems.
After graduation, the child swore to Li Ka-shing that he hoped to work in his father's company and help his father become bigger and stronger.
In the face of his diligent son Li Ka-shing's reply is a classic, he said that his company does not have the positions of his sons, and he will not use them, only the country he has built is truly his own, and only practice is the best means to prove himself.
Then his children went to Canada to develop real estate and an investment bank, and within a young age, they managed the business and made a lot of money, and became a local celebrity.
Mr. Li Kuchan is a master of Chinese painting in mainland China and a well-known art educator, and his child Li Yan has become addicted to painting after his influence, and even has attainments at a young age.
Li Kuchan's education of children is the traditional teaching of words and deeds, taking himself as an example for children to learn to imitate, to reach their own realm faster, and to pursue a higher level.
Many people think that children are actually not born with any natural character, a lot of acquired character and habits, are to learn from parents as an example, it can be said that the words and deeds of parents are invisibly affecting children, Mr. Li Kuchan loves painting, after the child was born, he saw his father splash ink, and he was naturally obsessed with it in the long run.
There are thousands of Chinese families, and they have their own difficult scriptures to read from door to door, and different family education methods are similar.
IV. Conclusion
Education is a long process, can not be overnight, can not be in the management of the leopard, there is a good saying "live to learn", there is always new knowledge in the world that you do not know, as parents need to learn all the time, let alone children.
Do not give up, do not worry, accompany more, do your best, as for how far the child can go in the future, that is his own life, as the old saying goes, "children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren".
Resources:
Client: Professor Ding's social media account - Can Professor Peking University accept the mediocre "link" of children
Global Network - "Peking University professor complains about the scumbag daughter: there is a big gap with the penultimate place! How much does a child's grades have to do with his parents' academic qualifications?
China Youth Network - "Peking University professor complains about the scumbag daughter: there is a big gap with the penultimate place!