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What exactly is love?
"You can love someone, or you can choose to say goodbye to them," she said. ”
She also said, "You can miss someone day and night, and you can be happy that they disappear into your life. ”
Do you think this passage is contradictory, but there may not be a standard answer to what "love" is something that cannot be seen or touched.
The above passage is from an unpopular book by the author Tara, "You Shall Be Like a Bird Flying to Your Mountain".
When I came across this book by chance, I seemed to be able to feel through the paper the confusion and struggle of the protagonist's life, as well as the courage to break the shackles through his own efforts.
All the setbacks and changes faced by the protagonist in the book are the personal experience of the author, Tara.
It is an autobiographical novel that tells a series of stories that happen to Tara, who was born in her family of origin.
If your family also has such and such problems, and you feel that you are not happy because of various family trivialities, then you must be patient to read today's book......
Paranoid father
Most countries are made up of multiple ethnic groups, each with its own beliefs.
And the Mormonism mentioned in this book is what my father yearns for, and because of this, my father is very paranoid and blindly does what he thinks is right.
In this way, it is clear that Tara's life is unfortunate.
It seems to me that Tara's father was not only a faithful believer, but also mentally had symptoms similar to schizophrenia.
The father did not allow the children to go to school and was extremely resistant to going out of the mountains to start a new life.
The knowledge of several children in the family is instilled in the father's words and actions day after day, and in this way, the children spend a closed and ignorant childhood.
Tara didn't go to the hospital as a child, because her parents saw suffering as a reward from the gods, and until the age of seventeen, school was a no-go zone.
Tara's father suffered several accidents but still did not go to the hospital, and even when he couldn't survive, he still held on to his beliefs.
In faith, he obeyed God in a paranoid and almost insane way, and he always believed that it was all God's arrangement.
He contradicts everyone, believing that his repository will save itself in the event of the end of the world.
He controls others with paranoia and binds others with faith.
Everyone had to live under his arrangement, forcing mothers to work as midwives, dropping their children out of school to work at home, and not letting them touch any books.
He wanted to bind his family, both physically and mentally, and wanted to use this barbaric way to obtain God's salvation and maintain family peace.
As a father, he unknowingly broke his faith, went to church for Tara to listen to her singing, and crossed the ocean to "save" his daughter.
There is a passage in the book: "If you are here, wherever you are, we can go to you."
I buried a thousand gallons of gasoline in the ground.
When the end of the world comes, I can pick you up and take you home so that you can be safe.
But if you go across the ocean......"
In fact, from the subtleties in the book, I can see that this father cares for his children with his paranoid and unique tenderness.
There is a mention in the book that after his father attended Tara's graduation ceremony, he sent Tara to the airport, knowing that Tara was determined to study at Cambridge University in England.
That passage is still very memorable, and the original text describes it like this:
Just then, I glanced back and saw my dad still standing at the security checkpoint watching me leave.
He had his hands in his pockets, his shoulders drooping, his mouth flabby. I waved my hand, and he took a few steps forward, as if to follow.
I remembered that moment many years ago, when the high-voltage power lines covered the station wagon and my mother was trapped in the car, my dad stood next to me, looking helpless.
I turned the corner, and he was still in that position.
I will always remember that image of my father, the expression on his face full of love, fear and loss.
I know why he was scared, my father whispered that last night at Buck Peak, the night he said he wouldn't come to my graduation.
The description of this paragraph reminds me of an article by Zhu Ziqing about his father, which expresses his father's concern for his children and expresses his love in his own way.
Unfortunately, however, his paranoia is greater than gentleness, and when the child breaks free from his restraints like a wild horse and fights against him with another force, he abandons tenderness and parts with him.
In other words, Tara's father, though paranoid and irritable, has his own simplicity.
We may not be able to understand what he is doing, but if we put ourselves in the position of our father, we will find a different feeling.
Everyone is understanding life in their own way, and the mother is giving in her way.
Pedantic mother
I was impressed by the transformation of the role of the mother in the book, who lives in a strict family.
The rigor here is her mother's control over how she dresses down to the exact color.
The reason why my mother was able to marry her prodigal father was because she longed for freedom at that time, and in order to escape from her mother's control, she went to the isolated mountains and wilderness at all odds.
Later, at the request of her father, she became a midwife and became the breadwinner of the family, but she was injured in a car accident and was forced to stop her livelihood.
Because of the nature of her work, she began to learn to use her own abilities to control the situation and deal with the financial situation, and at that time she knew how to look at her mother's behavior in the later years.
Her mother gave Tara hope, and in the email Tara sent home, her mother was trying to solve Tara's doubts and comforting her in the letter.
But judging from the story described in this book, as the daughter continues to ascend in the rational world, as a mother she remains in the original conservative world, not advancing and slowly regressing, and finally succumbing to her strong husband.
The mother was silent, and in the face of God's will, the mother had no right to defend it.
Everyone says that mother's love is the greatest, but before that, they were also innocent girls, and it is obvious in the book that Tara's mother had her own independent thinking, but in the end she also became a believer and stayed in the most primitive conservative world.
It reminds me that some of my elders were also tormented by feudal thinking and eventually compromised with reality.
In previous eras, the preference for sons over daughters was extremely serious, and female babies became a concern for mothers, and some people were advanced in thinking that men and women were equal.
But after he became a wife and a daughter-in-law, he was smoothed out by the cruelty of life.
Do what they think is right and what is reasonable in the guidance of the world.
Isn't this a true portrayal of Tara's mother?
The family treasure in the book "Alive" that I remember the most, she was educated and had a beautiful appearance when she had a worry-free life, but all this ceased to exist after marrying Fugui.
She expressed her thoughts in her own tactful way, but none of this became what she wanted.
But after all her suffering, she said:
"But I've never met someone as memorable as Fugui. ”
Being so clear about my experiences and being able to tell such a wonderful story about how I aged.
Such old people are really rare to meet in the countryside, perhaps because the hardship of life has damaged their memories, and they usually seem wooden in the face of the past, often prevaricating with a smile that they don't know what to do.
I believe she yearns for the good, but she has already chosen.
And they stayed in the most primitive world, and I think it's the same as Tara's mother, who are great and brave.
I admire the fact that they play the role of mothers in their own way, choosing between their families and themselves.
How important education really is
While I was reading this book, I found three children in the book.
First up are Taylor, Richard, and Tara, who, in the book, are the last people to get out of the mountains, into college, and into education.
Taylor, the pioneer of his family, is distinguished by his quiet appearance, his thirst for knowledge and reason.
He was the first to oppose his parents, and his influence on Tara was not only subtle about music as a child, but also trust and help in the difficult days ahead.
Because of this brother, Tara's path to education began to shine a little.
Unlike Taylor, Richard pursued his education with the support of his father, who became his father's dream of surpassing Einstein to the world, and he carried his father's hopes and pressures.
There are not many chapters in the book about Richard, but you can still feel that he and the other three in the family after his education
There is a noticeable difference between children.
In the book, Tara's path to education seems to be smooth, from Brigham Young to Cambridge and from Cambridge to Harvard.
All of this is lucky, and then it is the hard work and persistence of the very people she downplays.
When the author recounts her own experience, she consciously downplays the honors and degrees she has received, and pays more attention to her difficult transformation on the road to study, about self-redemption.
When the reader reads, he will worry about her hesitation, feel distressed by her inferiority, and angry at her helplessness.
She is a real girl, she has her own stubbornness, working to earn tuition fees for herself, and working hard to get scholarships;
She has her own low self-esteem, she will be afraid of her background when she is dating her boyfriend, and she will be sad about what she is wearing when she goes to college;
She has her own efforts, in order to study carefully for the thesis, in order to catch up with the gap that owes 17 years.
Who doesn't like such a motivated and hard-working girl?
Her current achievements are all due to her own dedication, and it is undeniable that there are also factors of her talent, but everyone has their own talent, but how much do we pay for it?
We should summarize and reflect on this book, a story about family, education, and growth.
For me, with a normal education, I should work hard for myself like Tara.
As Tara Westover said in an interview with Forbes Magazine.
This experience is unique to Tara, and I followed her to college during the reading, accompanied her to her achievements, and witnessed her growth and transformation, which is very valuable.
In a variety show, the difference between rich and poor education was mentioned, and they swapped the poor children in the mountains with the children who had no worries about food and clothing, and experienced a life that they had never had.
Some children have high aspirations and have been working hard for their dreams, or they have been disappointed, or they have been wishful, but no matter how hard they have tried. Tara is successful, and she has made education change for her through her own efforts.
But in reality, there are still many children who are bound by life and faith.
In the film "What Is Home?", a twelve-year-old boy takes his parents to court, and he follows them to Lebanon as refugees to escape the war.
Unfortunately, my parents gave birth to too many children, and I couldn't care about studying.
But the little boy was brave enough to express his thoughts.
It's like Tara who spends days and nights in difficult choices in search of the answers in her heart.
Education means gaining different perspectives and understanding different people, experiences, and histories.
Get educated, but don't let your education ossify into arrogance.
Education should be the expansion of ideas, the deepening of empathy, and the broadening of horizons.
It shouldn't make your biases more stubborn.
If people are educated, make them less certain, not more certain.
They should listen more and talk less, be passionate about differences, and embrace ideas that are different from them.
After reading the book, I commented on some of my superficial thoughts on the book from the perspective of Tara's father and mother.
It is in such an environment that the father's paranoid character, the mother's conformity, and the assistance or harm between siblings.
Playing an important role in Tara's life, Tara understands that only by learning can she liberate herself from the bottom.
If Tara did not choose this path to education, or lived an ordinary life, listened to her father's words, and never stepped out of the mountains to become the daughter of her parents.
But I think that in such an environment, there will be other people like Tara who are bravely pursuing their dreams.
Overall, I think this book is not just about Tara, but about the process of self-redemption for most people in the unfortunate homeschooling.
However, in the face of reality, most people are not as lucky as Tara, and even if they work hard, they may not achieve their desired results.
But we shouldn't give up, as Tara herself said:
"Even gold can look dull in some light – but that's just an illusion, gold is always gold. ”
No matter what the circumstances, be persistent and determined to be yourself.
For me, living in a rich and powerful country, I should try to find myself like Tara, and in the end, I want everyone to be a free and strong bird.
No matter what kind of difficulties you encounter, you still fly towards the mountain in your heart.
Reference Sources:
[1] Book: "Thou Shalt Fly Like a Bird to Thou Shalt Mountain"
However, in order to improve the readability of the article, there may be polishing of the details, please read sensibly, for reference only!
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