The world has finally developed into a way that I can't understand.
Two days ago, I watched a short video, and a string of keywords scared me out.
Post-00s, married for 86 years, three children, and a stepmother.
Every word is explosive, and every shot is creepy.
The most terrifying thing is that the comments at the bottom are actually applauding: "I can't imagine how cool it is to live this kind of life." ”
No... You guys act.
An enviable stepmother?
Seriously, when her sister swiped this video, she read it three times before she was sure she was not mistaken.
Just three lines of words shocked me more than three times.
In 02, he was less than twenty-two years old, and he got married early just past the legal age of marriage, marrying a man ten years older than himself, and being a stepmother to a four-year-old boy.
The daily life after marriage under her lens can be summed up in four words, that is, there is money and leisure.
Sleep until noon and get up, take the children shopping and eating, dismantling and dismantling express delivery to buy things, and every day is comfortable and leisurely.
Reading between the lines, I don't forget to show the thoughtfulness and gentleness of my ten-year-old husband: the old man got up in the morning to get busy, and the old man really responded to my needs......
To be honest, there were many narratives of gilding old men in the past, but at that time, the public's attitude towards this was also very clear, scolding the old cow for eating tender grass and scolding the wife for raising the price of pigs. So before her sister clicked on the comment area this time, she thought it would be the same number.
But no one expected that the wind direction would change.
"I used to scoff at it, but now I'm analyzing it gradually. ”
"I'm ready to be a stepmother. ”
The overwhelming comments are all conveying one thing - being a stepmother is really fragrant.
Some people are rational analysts and refute the view that it was difficult to be a stepmother in the past from all angles: "What stepmother is not a stepmother, what is good for the child is the mother." ”
Some people seriously explain the pros and cons, saying that the four-year-old child is just right, not only through the "novice period", but also able to establish a relationship, which is simply the first choice for stepmothers.
Some people even list the assumptions for being a stepmother: the mother is not alive, there are no relatives who have much to do, and the child is young.
Now, more girls are ready to move.
Perhaps because she has gained nearly 100,000 followers on this road, similar bloggers have quickly followed.
Another blogger, who claims to be married in 00 and 86 years and is a stepmother to three children, belongs to the upgraded Plus version of the one above - the age difference is greater, there are more children, and the story is more complicated.
The video is very similar to the one above in terms of style and logic, and it is also a record of his day:
I slept until 11 o'clock in the morning and got up, and then began to unpack the express one by one, and after dismantling the express delivery, I went to eat on the street, and I didn't have to go to work, and the day was over.
In the video, she also wants to show her husband's thoughtfulness and the love between the two in various subtle ways.
For example, my husband helped pick up the courier, my husband helped buy medicine, my husband blew his hair, and my husband coaxed people...... In short, don't look old, but "it hurts"~
And now, clicking on #stepmom#tag, there have been more bloggers with similar personalities, as if they have turned them into traffic passwords, which can be called a new track in the short video industry.
But no matter whether these people are real stepmothers or fake stepmothers, whether their video content is a real record or a fake play, it does not prevent a large group of people from expressing envy below:
Seriously, maybe the bloggers who first came up with this character can't believe that it will be this kind of commentary.
Then, in the wave of envy of the whole network, her sister is about to pour cold water again.
How has the narrative of stepmom changed?
Once upon a time, stepmothers were still synonymous with vicious women.
When we were children, we grew up listening to the story of Cinderella and her stepmother, in which Cinderella was bullied by her stepmother and sister, and was in fear by the stove all day long.
When I grow up, there are similar slang words to intimidate children: "If you have a stepmother, you will have a stepfather." ”
It means that the stepmother will sow discord and chew the root of the tongue between the father and the child, and over time, the child will become the victim that no one wants.
This is also why, in the past, when people heard that they were going to marry a second-married man, they had to hesitate no matter how good the other party's conditions were, for no other reason: everyone knows that it is difficult to be a stepmother.
To be good to children is to spoil and raise "waste"; to be bad to children is to abuse, and spitting stars can drown people.
This scale is too difficult to control.
Although the TV series "Family with Children" is a sitcom, it also implies the dilemma of being a stepmother. In order to be able to make her stepdaughter Xia Xue open her heart, stepmother Liu Mei can be said to be careful step by step, and in the end, she had to prepare what her daughter wanted with all her heart and lungs before she received a sentence "Mom, thank you".
Source: "Family with Children"
This is true for ordinary people, and the same is true for big stars in the entertainment industry.
When Lin Qingxia married Xing Liyuan, the other party's daughter was only six years old. snubbed her with all kinds of white eyes, and once reached out to push her. In order to win the girl's approval, Lin Qingxia is also careful in every possible way.
When Zhang Ziyi and Wang Feng got married, the strategy they adopted was to give their stepdaughter dignity on various occasions without restrictions. On the show, I want to say that I have a good relationship with my eldest daughter, I have to hold hands when I go out, and when I hold a birthday banquet for my younger daughter, I will also be aware of my eldest daughter's emotions and take care of them all the time.
It's not that it's bad, it's just that this kind of mother-daughter relationship that needs to be repeated to maintain is too sad for the stepmother.
Source: Internet
And in the past two years, I don't know what happened, and the stepmother suddenly became a term with amorous connotations, associated with low-cut hip skirts, and became some kind of indescribable sexy symbol.
Others rush to stuff themselves into this template, trying to prove that they are sexy and charming by "acting like a boyfriend and stepmother".
Perhaps seeing that people do not reject the label of stepmother, some people quickly followed up and completed the transformation from fake stepmother to real stepmother, and even used the label of being a mother with money and leisure to construct an absurd and bizarre Internet farce.
In those stories, stepmothers suddenly became the yearning of thousands of women, and being stepmothers became the best choice in the marriage market.
It can't help but send chills down the spine.
And in this change of stepmother's narrative, the only winners are those divorced old men.
In the past, they were second-married men with children who were old and despised in the blind date market, but now, they gave birth to a child with their first wife, and then married a young and beautiful woman as a stepmother.
That's it, and there are still people who feel that they have taken advantage of happiness?
But we may also be able to glimpse the underlying reason why some people want to be stepmothers from their voices - "No one urges you to have children." ”
Under the false care of rich and leisure, old men tolerate people, and second marriage is more sensible, the most fundamental reason why most women are willing to become stepmothers is that they can have a child without having children.
Fertility transfers
We have said too many times about the pain of female childbirth.
From the beginning of pregnancy, a woman's body will inevitably suffer damage, and during the birth process, there are countless ghost gates waiting for women to cross.
In the past, most women could not have the right to choose reproductive autonomy, so they could only cross the river by feeling the stones, and became victims of "inheritance" in ignorance. Under the popularization of science from generation to generation, women are more aware of their bodies and finally begin to understand the cost of childbirth.
Originally, we expected that these narratives would allow women to have reproductive autonomy, and that women would be able to have children in a safe and free environment.
But now, the rise of "stepmothers" has easily completed the transfer of the cost of childbirth.
Behind the "painless motherhood" is the pain of another woman's pregnancy in October, and behind the perfect time period of three or four years old is another woman's breastfeeding, waking up late, and sleepless parenting period.
The so-called stepmother dividend is nothing more than the use of her uterus to complete a woman-to-woman exploitation.
In the comment area under the stepmother's video, you can see the exclusion of my mother everywhere: "If my mother passes away, I have no hesitation." ”
The tone is so rough and simple, it seems that he doesn't treat the hidden mother as a person at all.
Her sister couldn't help but think of surrogacy, which we had repeatedly discussed.
In the early years, the "surrogacy factory" India, and now the "European womb" Ukraine, there are countless underground surrogacy agencies in the dark. They lure women in poor areas with commissions, or they coax young girls with the rhetoric that "selling eggs doesn't hurt at all", in which the womb is a commodity and the woman's body is a resource.
Source: Internet
At that time, when discussing this issue, many women who had found surrogacy came forward to say that they wanted to support women's uterine freedom.
Most of them are the elite class of society and do not want to bear the pain of pregnancy and childbirth, so they choose to pass on the cost of childbirth, and proudly declare their ease.
Their loftiness is the same as the comments under the video of today's stepmother.
Putting himself in the position of a buyer of goods, taking it for granted that he is brought into the perspective of the beneficiary and the exploiter, and coldly watching the suffering of another woman.
How ridiculous.
Source: "Friends"
They don't seem to think that it is another woman who bears the risk and pain for them when they look for another uterus as a replacement, and they don't think that any woman could be put on a price tag when modern pregnancy is overwhelming.
In the same way, when some people are shouting for their stepmothers and scrambling to become stepmothers, have you ever thought that in the eyes of others, you can also be the mother who is best to die after giving birth to a child?
Back to the stepmother's discussion.
Why are stepmothers always labeled as vicious, and why are stepmothers difficult to be? In the final analysis, women in the past had no inheritance rights and could not directly create wealth.
They need to rely on marriage for property and patriarchal authority for stability. Therefore, a child who is not related by blood and naturally enjoys the right to inherit is a competitor in the family home.
It seems to be a confrontation between a stepmother and a child, but in essence, it is still a mutual harm at the bottom after the tilt of patriarchal resources.
That's why men don't have to mediate between their wives and sons, because they already have the best resources, and they don't have to take sides with surrogacy, because they don't have to think about it at all.
They are the invisible biggest winners in the battle between their own mother and stepmother.
And you and I, even if we can't put up a strong resistance, at least don't add to this distorted value.