I suffer from social phobia.
Suffering from social phobia has caused me a number of problems:
- I'm always worried about what people will think of me.
- I'm usually quiet and shy, and I'm entangled in my every word, and I think about my words repeatedly, which causes me to pause for a long time in conversation.
- Before going to a social situation with strangers, I would become very anxious and even occasionally have headaches and nausea. Sometimes, it's an uphill battle to get out of the house, and my mind is full of thoughts about what will happen next, who I'll meet, what to do if I say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing.
What is social phobia like?
The worst thing about social phobia is that it makes me seem abrupt. Hot topics and conversations are great tools to deepen friendships with new people, and my anxiety makes me feel cold, uninteresting, and even mean.
What's even more tragic is that the more I try to make friends with someone, the more things will mess up.
- If I particularly want someone to like me, I care a lot about what I say and do, and this eventually turns into silence;
- I couldn't help but look around, as if I wasn't interested or bored;
- I'm very good at pretending to be cold to hide my nervousness, and others won't notice it at all, I'm just doing it because I'm anxious.
I can't be on the same channel as anyone else because I'm always thinking, worrying, and speculating. With all these thoughts and worries in my head, I couldn't make an appointment out or reschedule an appointment. I would assume that if people don't contact me or "have to" cancel our appointments, it proves that they don't like me. Any rejection, direct or implicit, seems to me to be directed against me personally.
In order to find out what others think of me, I am always capturing what others say and do, carefully analyzing every clue in detail.
Anxiety prevents me from considering other people's feelings.
Because I am silent, do not take the initiative to chat, do not take the initiative to make appointments and do not reschedule the time, others will think that I don't like them. And what I did to them was exactly what I didn't want them to do to me.
Over the years, too many people have told me that when we first met, they thought I hated them. People always say that I look "cold" and that I am not interested in them. Some people even said that I looked self-righteous and "scum". Words like "quiet", "shy" and "conservative" are all used to describe me.
Actually, I'm happy to talk to people, and I hardly hate people. Whenever I meet new people, it doesn't take long for me to get over the initial hurdle and open up to them. I've always been unreserved in front of trustworthy people. Once I'm energetic, I even share too much with people. However, it is dangerous to reach that level. There are too many misunderstandings in the process of communication, and often a friendship dies before it really begins.
How to overcome social phobia?
I've been overcoming my social anxiety over the years and I'm much better now.
I keep reminding myself:
- Most people care what others think of him/her. This is quite normal.
- The less stress you put on yourself when interacting with friends, the more relaxed and talkative you will be.
- Facing my own anxieties makes me perform better and my new friends understand me better. I let them know that maybe I'll be quiet at first, but I'll be very open when I get acquainted.
Perhaps because of my clumsiness and social phobia, I usually only have a few close friends for a while. It's just too hard for me to stir up a conversation in a group or a party (or any social setting).
Sometimes I fantasize about having more friends or becoming more sociable. I also want to be able to completely overcome my social fears and stop worrying about what others think of me. I'm Xi to being "that quiet girl."
But I still wish I could be more open and not worry about making a good impression or what people think of me.
So, if you find someone quiet, shy, clumsy, or reserved, don't think they are self-righteous, mean, or hate you. It's likely that they're just too nervous or struggling with social anxiety. When someone makes me feel comfortable, accommodating, and interested in talking to me, it takes a long time for me to let go of my fears and lessen my fears.
Only then will I have the confidence to let go and be myself.
I'm feeling anxious, is there anything else?
Here are 10 common symptoms of anxiety that can occur in people with social phobia, but also other conditions.
Sleep disturbances
Do you sleep six to eight hours a day, or do you toss and turn every night because of worry? Experts believe that if you sleep with breathing problems, such as snoring, difficulty breathing, general weakness, or daytime sleepiness, you should talk to your doctor about your anxiety symptoms.
Stressful
If you often feel stressed about work, family, or life, it may be a symptom of anxiety. Experts believe that long-term stress can make you more prone to anxiety or depression.
exhausted
Not only is it stressful, but you also feel like you're burned out, and experts point out that if you feel overloaded with work and affecting your daily state, it could be anxiety.
Fear, worry or fear
Experts believe that if you often and involuntarily worry, fear, or fear the unknown, it could be anxiety. Instead of being afraid, recognize your thoughts and feelings, because learning to control and accept your current state will reduce worry.
Upset stomach
If you suddenly feel an upset stomach, this could be another symptom of anxiety. If you also have diarrhea, severe constipation, nausea and vomiting, be sure to tell your doctor to rule out other conditions.
Tightness in the chest
You also need to be aware of tightness in your chest and other symptoms related to breathing or heart. These include shortness of breath, sweating, nausea, a sensation of pressure in the middle of the chest, and/or radiating pain in the chest, arms, and back. If you have these symptoms, see the emergency department right away.
headache
Your work or sleep situation can give you headaches. Experts also say that if headaches occur frequently and are accompanied by weakness, dizziness or loss of sensation, you need to go to the hospital.
palpitation
Heart palpitations and arrhythmias are also common symptoms of anxiety. Some people have frequent heart palpitations, which, according to the Harvard Family Health Guidelines, will have a palpitating, throbbing, pounding heart.
Panic disorder
Panic disorder is a type of anxiety disorder. People often have recurrent sudden panic attacks. Psychological symptoms may also include worry, fear, or irritability.
Chen Qiang
In addition to blurred vision, if you feel that your vision is shaking and you have difficulty concentrating, it can be a sign of anxiety. You may also feel your arms, legs, fingers, toes, or your entire body tremble at the same time.
Thank you for your interest and wish you good health and all the best.