A mother complained about the history of blood and tears in the decoration of her new house on Xiaohongshu.
Originally, friends who have been decorated are very empathetic to this situation, and there are so many pits in the home decoration that they can't do it, and they will be planted if they are not careful.
Source: Little Red Book
Everyone held "this must be a lightning protection sticker, let me learn how to Xi emergency avoidance" mood point in, I didn't expect to read the mind full of swear words can not speak, this time the decoration company is very innocent, but this is too strange to be a parent.
How to say it, I have seen a lot of strange renovation of houses, what "balcony explosion to change the sun room", "living room out of nothing and a bedroom", "ten square meters separated from a bedroom, a living room, a kitchen and a bathroom" are not strange.
But this crazy father-in-law wants to transform the toilet into a daughter's bedroom?!
After reading the drawings shared by the PO master, I was even more speechless.
Source: Douban Group
Rowling has to sigh for her ignorance, Aunt Vernon and Aunt Penny can still let Harry Potter sleep in the closet, but their biological parents let their flesh and blood sleep in the toilet, or they know the best about top abuse.
The toilet burst into a bedroom, which is scary
Let's take care of this matter first.
The cause of the incident was that the blogger posted, saying, "Family, the toilet has been changed to a children's room!"
Then, she carefully described her process of stepping on the pit: the toilet to the children's room is very problematic, the design plan is not done well, and so on. I guess she is still complacent in her heart, and I see how much I will clear mines for netizens.
But unexpectedly, the netizens at the bottom blew up the pot and asked her why she wanted to change the toilet into a children's room: "How can the toilet live in people?"
After all, the toilet she posted looked like this:
At this time, everyone thought that they lived in a small 30-square-meter house, and they had to try their best to make use of every inch of space.
With such a big house, how can you not need to blow up the toilet and change it into a children's room?
Looking further down, it's even funnier.
The owner of the post said that this was done to leave a room as a tea room. Someone suggested that it would not be possible to convert the toilet into a tea room? She hesitated: "But that location is not so good." ”
Good guy, it's not enough to be a tea room, but it's just right for a child?
To be honest, seeing this, her sister already had some bad premonitions, and the progress behind was really unexpected.
According to the information she posted, it can be seen that there are three children in the family, an eldest daughter and a pair of twin sons. It is self-evident who this toilet will live in.
After being pointed out by netizens, the blogger quickly began to explain, saying that there is no patriarchy, they are all their own birth, and there is no eccentricity.
But according to the previous decoration drawings she sent, netizens quickly smelled something wrong again, and also pointed out the underlying logic of this blogger letting his daughter sleep in the toilet.
The twin sons must have slept in the same room, and the rest of the room not only has better lighting, but also has a larger area, and the family subconsciously feels that their daughter is not worthy.
That's why I think it's better to make a tea room, and I'd rather let my daughter live in the toilet.
In short, the two sons who have not yet been weaned can have a bedroom for one person, the tea room must have a good lighting area, and the balcony cannot be sealed, so in this family, only the daughter can be wronged.
After the questions were clarified, netizens were not polite.
First of all, he sacrificed Harry Potter's dimensionality reduction blow, after all, Harry Potter only lived under the stairs, and he was not so miserable that he went to sleep in the toilet.
Then because the IP of this blogger is displayed as Guangdong, and it is so patriarchal, everyone began to use magic to defeat magic, and use feudal superstition to fight feudal dross:
Now, this blogger has canceled his account, and no one knows how the house will be arranged.
can only hope that they can find out their conscience and let their daughter have a room that truly belongs to her.
There are no rooms for the girls
We can't blame everyone for speculating about the parents with the greatest malice, after all, we are all too Xi to the fact that women are forced to give up all space.
As a netizen said: "Harry Potter in the fairy tale, his parents died and lived in the storage room, Cinderella was treated harshly by her stepmother so she lived in the attic, and this girl's parents had a lot of rooms, and she could only live in a children's room with a toilet." ”
Daughters, who are always tacitly considered temporary residents of the home, are deprived of space as a matter of course.
After the post received widespread attention, many girls talked about their stories - "I am the girl who has lived for 23 years without a room." ”
When there is not enough space at home, the daughter's room can be compressed, and the daughter can sleep in a small room and sleep in the living room.
And once the daughter leaves the house for things such as study and Xi, the family will quickly "use" the space and turn the room into a utility room, leaving the daughter with no place to stay.
"After leaving home, every time I come home like a guest. It's the most authentic inner monologue of these girls.
And what is even more sad is that some girls woke up early and chose to leave, while some girls waited until a certain age to discover such a cruel truth.
"You're old and still living at home, are you sorry?"
Going around and around, it goes back to the proposition that we have discussed many times - your daughter is not your daughter, but your daughter-in-law.
Even if it is a joint venture house, women can only pick the rest.
"I'm not married yet, and I feel like an outsider. ”
Some girls discover the truth of having no home early and choose to flee, while others will plunge into another abyss in panic -
Since your own home is not home, go to your husband's house and let another man take you away.
The result is predictable, but it is nothing more than jumping from one fire pit to another.
Many years ago, there was a saying in our saying "the daughter who married out of the water", and now, when searching for "the daughter who got married", the entries that come out are still whether you can go home for the New Year, whether you have the right to inherit property, and whether you can go home to the grave......
Space is only the most basic guarantee of women's rights, and they who lost their room early at home naturally lost all their right to speak.
When they choose to get married, things tend to get worse.
In the existing narrative of gender relations, women are tacitly regarded as caregivers at home, constantly giving and without space for themselves.
We often see my mother shuttling between the kitchen and the living room, busy between the stove and the balcony, passively undertaking all the work in the family, but the study does not belong to her, the bedroom does not belong to her, and the house does not belong to her.
is like a netizen summing up a woman's life:
She came to the world, lived in her father's house for a few years, then went to her husband's house to borrow for a few years, and finally settled down at her son's house. ”
Hostess?nanny
Woolf's most famous quote is that "if a woman wants to write a novel, she must have money and a room of her own." ”
This sentence is copied and pasted everywhere on the Internet like a repeater, and it is very easy to say, but in fact, "women have a room" is too difficult.
From when she was a child, it was difficult for her daughter to fight for her own space at home, and then in order to have her own house, she fled from her parents' house to her husband's house. (That's what Lila from the Neapolitan tetralogy did)
She found that it was natural for men to have a study, and that they only had a living room and a kitchen—a functional place where people came and went, and there was no privacy.
And if a woman chooses to buy a house by herself, she is regarded as "too strong" and "unable to marry" in the blind date market.
"My Genius Girlfriend"
The world seems to systematically avoid women from owning rooms, which is not only the situation of ordinary women who have no right to speak, but also the fate that those famous women can't get rid of.
Xiao S wanted a table to chat with her sisters, but the communication was unsuccessful for 6 years, and her husband shirked it with his style.
In "Goodbye Lover", Chen Meiling and Ai Wei are husband and wife, Ai Wei can donate his liver for his wife, but Chen Meiling is not allowed to change his well-designed home, but he never does housework after designing.
"Goodbye Lover"
Yang Benfen, an 80-year-old grandmother who wrote "Autumn Garden" and "My Fragrance", does not have her own study, and she has been writing in the kitchen since she was 60 years old, and she cannot fully concentrate on her creation, because she also has to take care of her wife and children, who have diabetes and mild dementia.
Manuscript of Autumn Garden
It's too similar to 18th-century Jane Austen, who never had her own study, and she had to hide in the corner of the common living room to secretly finish her novels, being careful not to be discovered by servants, covering the manuscript with blotting paper when others entered the living room, and sometimes having to put down her writing to do chores.
Becoming Jane Austen
Unexpectedly, hundreds of years later, women are still repeating the same situation.
Women don't have their own room, which means they don't have their own space, and it also means that they don't have a full range of time at their disposal.
In Lessing's novel "To Room Nineteen", the woman marries and lives in the kind of big house that marks the perfect middle class, but her desire for her own room grows, and even if she has her own attic, it still can't stop her as a mother and housewife, so she rents a dilapidated room in a nearby hotel.
"To Room 19"
The husband hired a private investigator to find the room, thinking she was cheating, and the woman finds it more difficult to explain why she needs such a room than to admit that she is cheating. The end result is that the woman commits suicide in this small hotel.
"Moment by Moment"
In fact, Woolf wrote the text "Women should have their own rooms", it was this woman who had a lot of thoughts and wanted to create, she went for a walk on the lawn, she was kicked out, she wanted to go to the library to look up materials, she was told that she needed a man to accompany her...
This description is also full of metaphors, that is-
Women are constantly being driven home from the public world by society.
"Women must have a home after all" is a magic voice that lingers in every woman's ears, in fact, it is saying that you are not welcome in the public space, please go back to the private realm where women should go, where you are the hostess.
But in fact?
This phrase is also a trap.
The women who come home are not hostesses at all, but nannies, they huddle in the kitchen to cook but have no right to serve the table, they clean the room but do not have their own, they take care of everything in the house, but it is difficult to get a share of the property in the event of a divorce.
Not "you are the mistress of the house", but "the woman is the home, the woman is the harbor". Don't get me wrong, this is not a compliment to women, but a tooling that uses women as containers and makes the most of them.
This is the true idea of many men who say "I will sleep with you, but I will marry her", "read a thousand sails, but she is a harbor", "always take care of yourself when you are old".
"Random Fluctuations" talks about "a woman's room" in the podcast, and also mentions Hong Kong writer Han Lizhu's essay collection "Coming Home", where the house has a double metaphor of exterior and interior, and in a metropolis like Hong Kong, where every inch of land is at a premium, the daughter asks her mother if she can give her a room.
Han Lizhu "Coming Home"
The mother said yes, but the home was too small, and the daughter said that a wardrobe or a drawer would do, and the mother agreed, but in the end it was not fulfilled. The daughter thought that her mother had told her that it was an accident to conceive her since she was a child, and her mother was unwilling to lose her life and left home.
So the daughter felt that the quota that her mother had promised was used up when she was pregnant in October.
Pieces of a Woman
You see, in social metaphors, women represent home.
In reality, the woman who conceived in October will indeed be alienated into a container of life, and after giving birth to a child, she continues to incarnate as a housewife and a snail girl, repairing, sewing, and managing the "home" day after day, and she is indeed submerged with the "home".
Women are not welcome in the public world, women in the family space are still exploited, "hostess" is never a right, but a responsibility, a packaged sugar coating, "Jinwu Zangjiao" means that men occupy Jinwu and also possess Jiao, after all, Tianluo girls are never greedy.
"All the Time" Woolf
Instead of owning a home, a woman is placed in a home and alienated into a home. She is a colonized family who has to sacrifice her labor, her youth, her emotions, her body, and even her life.
That's why we keep reiterating that women have to have their own room.
It is to emphasize that women should have a complete space and time at their disposal to recuperate and grow themselves.
Because a room that is truly one's own is a start.
It means that women are not alienated here, it means the first step to regain subjectivity, and it means the possibility of a free new life.