Justified Betrayal: A Reflection on a Marriage
"If you dare to touch me, I'll get a divorce!" When the man caught the rape scene, the wife's righteous words undoubtedly dropped a shock bomb in this marriage. This farce reflects many of the unavoidable hidden dangers in modern marriages.
An affair uncovered the wounds of the marriage. The man had been working hard to give his family a better life. The wife misses her husband's company and longs to be cared for. The two wanted to protect this marriage, but they couldn't understand each other and stood alone. "If you're not with me, I'll have to find my needs myself. His wife's words undoubtedly stabbed the man in the heart.
In fact, in recent years, similar "derailment doors" have emerged one after another. According to relevant data, nearly 5 million couples in mainland China will cheat in marriage every year. There are various reasons for cheating, but the only common denominator is that there is a crack in the marriage. Faced with this number, we can't help but ponder: what causes so much cheating, and how can we protect a good marriage?
1. Separated for a long time, it is easy to "have an accident"
The man in this article has been working outside the home for many years, while his wife is alone with the children. "Far water can't quench the thirst of the near", the sense of distance between husband and wife is increasing day by day, and it is not only the distance that is getting farther away, but also this feeling. The data shows that couples living in different places are significantly more likely to divorce than couples living together. More and more examples in life tell us that marital crises brought about by separation are not uncommon.
In fact, any couple will have conflicts and unhappiness, and the key is to resolve them in time. And the distance undoubtedly makes the problem more difficult to solve. "You never know how hard I work!" I'm sad too, you're not with me!" Long-distance couples often have such heated arguments, but the real thoughts of the other party are not known. Without communication and understanding, it will only lead to deeper problems.
And the loneliness and grievances day after day are more likely to induce the idea of cheating. Instinctive needs and real pain are intertwined, and an unexpected infidelity can break a marriage that has lasted for years. Therefore, a long-term separation between husband and wife can become a time bomb in married life. Only the pain of the two places can know the joy of getting together.
Second, the communication in marriage is not smooth, and it is difficult to untie the knot
Married life is like a besieged city, and the world is completely different inside and out. Each party in the marriage has its own little ninety-nine, their own hearts. Only by listening to each other and being honest with each other can we untie each other's knots and reach a consensus.
In this article, the man is bent on creating a better life for his family through his own efforts. And the wife is more eager for her husband's companionship and care. The two had different ideas, but no one said anything in their hearts. Over time, the wife only felt that she had been widowed for a long time, and the man still did not understand his wife's thoughts. This kind of marriage, which lacks communication and understanding for a long time, is destined to burst into contradictions at some point.
In fact, behind many cheating, there is such a marriage without communication. You don't know my heart, I don't know your difficulties. Married life is a process of mutual understanding and tolerance, and only by constantly listening and communicating can we slowly run in. Otherwise, even if it is a little dissatisfied, it will continue to ferment in the long river of time, and eventually turn into the fuse of the breakdown of the marriage.
3. Lack of care in ordinary life, drifting away
For many people, marriage is no longer the charming romance of the youthful period, but a community of life that has entered the ordinary normal. Menial chores, late nights, and grumpy children...... This is how most married people are portrayed. The distress and stress of ordinary life are often breathless, and gradually numb the desire for love and marriage.
In fact, many cheaters said that they just wanted to get back to their former feelings at first. To be cared for, to be heard, to be understood...... These small blessings, which have been missing for a long time in daily life, are enough to disorient the mind once they reappear. What should have been a sweet time between partners was once received from someone else, and the foundation of marriage was shaken.
Therefore, in the long marathon of marriage, we need to learn to love and care for each other. Solve problems for the other party and hold him (her) on the tip of his or her heart. Only by not forgetting the original intention and supporting each other will this long road not be bumpy. The world is in turmoil, and people are no longer there, but with you by my side, the years will stop at my fingertips.
Marriage is the best watch and help in life. However, there are too many hidden dangers brewing in this small "besieged city": the troubles of living in a different place, the worries that cannot be confided, and the alienation and indifference day after day...... These problems will not be solved overnight, and only when two restless hearts can truly converge and protect this unfading vow.
The woman in this article is lost in the storms of married life; Men lost their hearts in the process of running around and working hard. They could have gone hand in hand, but for a variety of reasons, they went against each other. This farce is only the tip of the iceberg, but it once again reminds us to cherish the present and be close to our lovers. Only listening, understanding and tolerance are the secrets of lifelong perseverance. And this is also the driving force for countless marriages to be reborn after experiencing storms.