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My name is Lin Xiao, an ordinary white-collar worker, working as a copywriter in a small company. On this day, my sister called me and excitedly told me that her son Xiaojie had been admitted to 985 University and would invite our big family to dinner to celebrate. I was a little reluctant in my heart, but in the face of the call of family affection, I still agreed.
That evening, we met at a luxury hotel in the city center. The table was filled with a variety of delicacies and the atmosphere was warm. My sister's face was full of pride, and she kept showing us Xiaojie's admission letter. My mother-in-law was also there, and she kept talking about Xiaojie's achievements as if he were her own grandson. I sat on the sidelines, smiling and nodding, but there was something wrong with me in my heart.
At the dinner table, almost everyone talked about Xiaojie. My husband, my sister's younger brother, also joined in the chorus of praise. I listened silently, interjecting a sentence or two once in a while. Suddenly, my mother-in-law turned her head and said to me, "Xiaoxiao, you see Xiaojie is so good, when will you give me such a smart child?" I was a little embarrassed by this sudden topic, so I could only smile awkwardly and did not answer.
Towards the end of the banquet, my sister suddenly announced: "I decided to let Xiaoxiao pay for such a happy thing today, after all, she is the only son-in-law in our family." "I was shocked and a little offended. My husband and I have not been very financially well-off, so the sudden expenses are not small for us. I looked at my husband and hoped he would speak out against it, but he just smiled awkwardly and didn't speak.
I took a deep breath and plucked up the courage to say, "I'm sorry, sister, I didn't bring that much money today." The scene was quiet for a while, and my sister's face suddenly became ugly. My mother-in-law also frowned, as if she was not satisfied with my answer.
At this time, my husband's brother, who is also my uncle, broke the silence. "Forget it, I'll pay for such a happy thing today. He smiled and stood up and went to the front desk.
At the end of the meal, the atmosphere was obviously awkward. I was silent all the way, but I wondered if this incident meant that there was a rift in my relationship with the extended family. On the way home, my husband tried to comfort me, but I sensed the powerlessness and embarrassment in his words.
I know this might just be the beginning. In this family, everyone has their own roles and expectations, and I always seem to have a hard time fitting into their world.
When I got home, I sat alone on the sofa in the living room, still with a heavy heart. My husband Zhang Qiang walked over and patted me lightly on the shoulder, "Xiaoxiao, don't think too much, I will explain to my sister today." ”
I looked up at Zhang Qiang, my eyes full of exhaustion, "Do you really understand me? Today's matter is not just a matter of money, it is their attitude towards us." ”
Zhang Qiang was silent, obviously, this was a question that he would not be able to answer. Our marriage has always been uneventful, he is a good guy, but sometimes, I feel that he lacks assertiveness, especially in front of his family.
The next day, I went to work as usual. At work, I try to keep myself busy and not think about last night. But at lunch, I received a message from my sister who said she wanted me to understand the family's difficulties and that she didn't really want me to pay for it.
I read these words with a wry smile in my heart. Is this an apology? Or is it just looking for a step down? I didn't reply immediately.
After work, I decided to meet my friend Xiaohong. Xiaohong is my college classmate and has always been my bosom friend. We met at a café and I told her about last night.
Xiaohong was indignant when she heard this, "How can they do this to you? You are not their ATM!"
I smiled wryly, "I don't know what to do." I don't want this incident to affect my relationship with Zhang Qiang, but I also don't want to swallow my anger like this all the time. ”
Xiaohong thought for a while and said, "Xiaoxiao, you need to have a good talk with Zhang Qiang." You need to face this together, not you alone. ”
I nodded, knowing in my heart that Red was right. But on the other hand, I'm also worried about whether this kind of conversation will make our relationship worse.
On the way home, I kept thinking about how to start the conversation. After arriving home, Zhang Qiang was sitting in the living room watching TV. I took a deep breath and sat down next to him.
"Zhang Qiang, can we talk about yesterday?" I said.
Zhang Qiang turned off the TV and looked at me, "Of course, what do you want to say?"
I tried to be as calm as I could and said, "I feel like we need to set some boundaries. I don't want to feel like an outsider in front of your family all the time, especially when it comes to money. ”
Zhang Qiang was silent for a while, and then said, "I know that yesterday's events were very sudden for you, and I also think that my aunt did something wrong. But you know, we can't change the minds of the old people in the family. ”
"But we have to make decisions about our own lives, right?" I retorted, "We also have our own lives and plans, and we can't always accommodate our families." ”
Zhang Qiang looked at me with a little struggle in his eyes, "I'll try to talk to them, but you also know that it's not easy." ”
I nodded, knowing in my heart that it wouldn't be easy, but at least we started trying.
A few days later, Zhang Qiang told me that he had talked to his aunt,
My sister seemed a little upset, but eventually accepted our point of view. Zhang Qiang tried his best to assure me that something like this would not happen again in the future. I was skeptical, but I appreciated his efforts.
One night, Zhang Qiang came home looking a little wrong. I asked him what was going on, and he hesitated for a moment before he spoke: "Xiaoxiao, I talked to my mother today about our relationship with the family. ”
"What did she say?" I asked nervously.
"She... She didn't quite understand our position. She felt that as a member of the family, we should take on more family responsibilities. Zhang Qiang looked a little frustrated.
I was silent. That's exactly what I'm worried about. I am well aware that this problem may not be just something that can be solved as a couple.
Just then, my mother-in-law called. I hesitated, but finally answered the phone. "Xiaoxiao, I heard Zhang Qiang say what you think," her voice sounded a little cold, "but you know, our family has always been a big family, and everyone has to help each other." ”
I tried to stay calm, "I understand my mother-in-law, but we also have our own lives to consider. ”
There was silence on the other end of the phone for a while, and then the mother-in-law said, "I know you young people have your own ideas, but you also have to understand that family is about supporting each other. ”
After hanging up, I felt an indescribable pressure. I know that this problem will not be so easy to solve.
A few days later, my sister invited us to her house. I hesitated for a long time, but finally agreed. I thought, maybe face-to-face communication would be more effective.
When I arrived at my sister's house, the atmosphere seemed a little stiff. Zhang Qiang's cousin and cousin were also there, and the whole living room was full of tension.
My sister spoke first: "We are all a family, and I don't want to affect our relationship because of small things. But, Xiaoxiao, you also have to understand the difficulties at home. ”
I took a deep breath and said as calmly as I could, "I understand the importance of family, but we also have our own considerations. We can't always abandon our plans to cater to the needs of our families. ”
Zhang Qiang's cousin suddenly interjected: "Xiaoxiao, are you too selfish to say that? ”
I looked at Zhang Qiang and hoped that he would support me. Zhang Qiang seemed a little embarrassed, but finally said: "Everyone in the family is different, and we should understand and respect each other." ”
The atmosphere became even more awkward. My sister was silent for a moment, then said, "Maybe we both need time to understand each other." ”
That night, we left early. On the way home, neither Zhang Qiang nor I spoke. I felt a deep sense of powerlessness. I began to wonder if there was any chance of a solution to this family conflict.
A few days later, I received a nomination to lead an important project in the company. It's coming to me
It's a big challenge, but it's also an opportunity to show what you're capable of. I was immersed in a busy and fulfilling job, and I put the conflicts of my family behind me for a while.
As the project progressed, I often worked overtime and came home later and later. Such a change made Zhang Qiang a little dissatisfied at first. One night, I came home late again, and Zhang Qiang finally broke out: "Xiaoxiao, you are now buried in work all day long, and we have almost no time to communicate." Are you running away from family problems?"
I felt a little wronged, but I also understood his concern: "Zhang Qiang, I'm not running away, it's just that this project is very important to me. I need to prove myself. ”
"But our family is also very important!" Zhang Qiang's voice raised slightly, "Do you know that since that meeting, everyone in the family has been talking about you." ”
I was shocked, "What are they talking about about me?"
"They think you're too selfish and that you're only looking out for your career and not your family. Zhang Qiang looked a little helpless.
I felt a wave of loss and anger, but soon I calmed down: "Zhang Qiang, I know that you are also anxious about the harmony of the family. But I can't give up my career for the sake of their perceptions. We need to have a life of our own, don't we?"
Zhang Qiang looked at me and finally sighed, "I know, I'm just worried about the relationship between us. ”
We sat down and started a serious discussion about our future and how to deal with the family. We came to a consensus and decided to respect our family while also upholding our own rights and way of life.
A few weeks later, I was thrilled that my project had achieved initial success. Zhang Qiang and I have gradually found a balance between dealing with family issues. We began to communicate more openly, trying to explain our position while also respecting the family's opinions.
At this moment, my mother-in-law fell ill and was hospitalized. The news exploded like a bomb in our newly stabilized lives. Zhang Qiang is very anxious, he is the only son in the family and is very filial to his mother.
We immediately went to the hospital to visit my mother-in-law. In the corridor of the hospital, I saw Zhang Qiang's anxious appearance, and I couldn't help but feel a little emotional. Family ties are especially important at times like these.
The mother-in-law's condition is not too serious and she needs to be hospitalized for a few days. Zhang Qiang and I took turns taking care of her. During my days in the hospital, I had more communication with my mother-in-law. She talked about family, about what she thought of me. I also confessed my thoughts and positions. There seems to be more understanding between us.
Zhang Qiang seemed to be relieved when he saw all this. He said, "Xiaoxiao, thank you. Your care for my mother these days has made me feel very warm. ”
I smiled, "Zhang Qiang, no matter what, she is your mother and my mother-in-law."
Mother, we should all take care of her. ”
On the day my mother-in-law was discharged from the hospital, everyone in the family came. There was a light-hearted atmosphere in the air, something I hadn't felt in this family for a long time. My sister also came, and she seemed more amiable than before. At the dinner table, we chatted and laughed. It seems that those unpleasant memories have been put behind for the time being.
After the meal, my sister took my hand and said, "Xiaoxiao, I also had something wrong with the previous things, I hope you don't take it to heart." ”
I smiled and replied, "Sister, we are a family, and there is nothing that we can't get over." ”
At that moment, I felt the warmth and strength of family. Despite our different perspectives and lifestyles, we were able to stand together in difficult times.
A few days later, the company's project was finally successfully completed. I received praise from my leaders and recognition from my colleagues. This success has given me great confidence and motivation, and it has also made me more convinced that it is the right thing to do by sticking to my choice.
After that, my relationship with Zhang Qiang also got better and better. We learned how to communicate and understand each other better. Although the problems of the family still exist, we have all become more mature and sensible, learning how to maintain our position while respecting the family.
My life is gradually getting back on track. Achievements at work have given me more self-confidence, and improved family relationships have given me peace of mind. I began to realize that no matter what kind of difficulties we encounter, as long as we have enough communication and understanding, there is no hurdle that cannot be overcome.
Zhang Qiang began to try to participate in activities outside the family to broaden his horizons. He took some photography classes and found his hobby. Our weekends became colorful, travelling together, taking pictures, and enjoying the time that belonged to the two of us.
Family gatherings are also becoming more enjoyable. People are beginning to respect each other's choices and lifestyles, and no longer impose pressure as before. Zhang Qiang's status in the family has gradually improved, and our opinions have begun to be taken seriously.
Time flies like a white horse, and in the blink of an eye, months have passed. Zhang Qiang and I are planning for the future, including our professional development and family life. We are also thinking about having a child to bring more joy to the family.
Life is still busy and fulfilling, but I've learned how to find a balance between work and family. I understand that no matter where we go, home will always be our strongest backing.
I am deeply grateful for the growth that this experience has brought me. It taught me patience, understanding, and courage. I know that no matter what challenges I face in the future, I have the ability to face them.
Life, like the city, is constantly changing and improving. Zhang Qiang and I, and
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