Preface
Between husband and wife, which is more important than the relationship and responsibility? What have they experienced in the past 15 years? What kind of mental journey is hidden behind the divorce declaration?
A seemingly happy marriage has finally come to an end.
It seems that we will never be able to see what real and complex lives are hidden under the glamorous appearance of these stars.
Fu Seoul, a woman who has given too much for her family; Lao Liu, an ignorant and unconscious man in his comfort zone.
Their union is destined to be separated in the end.
Lao Liu finally chose to stand up and clarify the truth for his wife.
Should we also face up to the problems that arise in our married lives, rather than shrinking them indefinitely?
1. Why did Lao Liu choose to show his "weak" side in the show?
"Goodbye Lover", a popular variety show that explores the relationship between husband and wife.
Participating in this show was originally Lao Liu's idea.
Because of what?
Lao Liu and Fu Seoul's married life seems to be very happy.
The feeling of the show to the audience is that the two have an excellent relationship, and they will be considerate of each other and help each other.
However, only the parties are best aware of the true marital status.
In the eyes of outsiders, Fu Seoul has a successful career, and Lao Liu is like an ordinary person parasitic under her halo of success.
This made Lao Liu feel inferior and uneasy in conscience.
In order to re-establish the equal status of the two and prove that he also has something to attract Fu Seoul, Lao Liu took the initiative to participate in this show that explores the relationship between marriage.
In one episode of the show, Lao Liu suddenly became in pain, and Fu Seoul immediately ran over to hug him and whispered comfort.
This scene impressed the audience deeply, and also made the outside world speculate whether Lao Liu was suffering from depression.
In this regard, Lao Liu responded that he was only caused by social fear and physical discomfort.
So why did you choose to show your vulnerable side in front of the camera?
In fact, Lao Liu has always been the beneficiary of this marriage.
Fu Seoul not only took on most of the responsibilities of the family, but also often affirmed Lao Liu's talent and encouraged him to play his value.
Lao Liu has always been full of guilt for his wife in his heart, and wants to re-establish the image of a man in front of his wife.
showed a weak side in the show, implying that he needed his wife's care, perhaps it was Lao Liu's inner abacus - to win his wife's pity and care, and rebuild the relationship between the two on an equal footing.
made Fu Seoul realize that he also needed to rely on her.
Maybe that's just human nature.
But many times, our little abacus is just self-comforting, and it can't really achieve the desired effect.
Second, Fu Seoul has paid a lot, but Lao Liu is unaware
For fifteen years, Fu Seoul has taken on almost all the responsibilities of the family.
As a strong woman, Fu Seoul has a successful career and bears most of the family's economic income.
This also made Lao Liu feel a little inferior, feeling that he had not really become the pillar of this family.
In addition to work, Fu Seoul also has to take care of all the chores at home and take care of the daily life of her husband and children.
She's like a machine that runs at a high load for a long time.
She is strong in the eyes of others, but she will actually be tired in the middle of the night.
There wasn't a moment for her to stop and really rest.
Eating and sleeping became a luxury, and on the way to work, she had to start preparing materials for the next day's work.
This kind of high-intensity rush has seriously exceeded the load that an ordinary woman can bear.
However, Lao Liu was comfortable in the warm small space built by the family, and was unaware of his wife's hard work.
He mistakenly believes that his wife seems to be in control of everything, and he can rely on her ability to survive comfortably.
In fact, no matter how strong a woman is, she needs her husband's understanding and support.
What Fu Seoul is looking forward to is only her husband's occasional companionship, care and warmth.
But for Lao Liu, who was Xi to her doing everything, it was completely beyond his consciousness.
In married life, he is completely the "vested interest" of this family.
We often think that intimacy doesn't require many words, and the other person should be able to understand it.
This is what Lao Liu thinks.
But he completely ignores the importance of verbal expression, which is far greater than we imagine.
We need to repeat the confirmation in words, even if it's just a simple "I love you".
3. Why did Fu Seoul choose to remain silent under external pressure?
Over the years, in the face of various criticisms and rumors from the outside world, Fu Seoul has always chosen to remain silent.
She often thinks that as a public figure, it's part of her job to be criticized, and that's all she expected.
She shouldn't have responded, it would make things bigger.
She needs to stand on the moral high ground and protect her family.
But when the rumors were spread and expanded, seriously affecting the lives of his family and children, Lao Liu finally couldn't help but stand up.
He realized that this should have been his responsibility as a husband and father.
In fact, Fu Seoul, as a woman, also has countless grievances in her heart.
In the face of outside discussions, she didn't want to refute loudly and clarify the facts.
But for the sake of this family, she can only swallow her anger.
What she wants to protect is the last peace of this family.
She didn't want to cause a bigger storm of public opinion because of her counterattack and let her family be affected.
In fact, this is far beyond what she can afford alone.
It's just that in the face of her husband's sluggishness, she once again chose to bear and forbear.
Even if she will secretly hide under the quilt and cry in the middle of the night, she still has to pack up her emotions and face the world with a sunny sun the next day.
Protecting his family is his duty as a husband and father.
It's easy to oversimplify the problem and think that others "should be able to bear it."
But the truth may be far from what you think.
Rationally judging the severity of the problem and giving support and help is the least we should do as bystanders.
4. Why did marriage come to an end?
Although Lao Liu justified his wife's name, there does not seem to be any irreconcilable contradiction between the two.
But their marriage was irretrievable in the end.
In fact, the problem between them is not the sole responsibility of Lao Liu.
As a career woman, Fu Seoul also has her own problems.
She was overly focused on her career and neglected the maintenance of her family life.
She believes that as long as she works to the best of her ability, her husband and children can live a good life, which is her responsibility as the head of the family.
As everyone knows, there are too many bitterness hidden behind the glamorous life.
Lao Liu did feel inferior and melancholy because of his wife's career.
He longs for an equal and free relationship, rather than always living under the aura of his wife's success.
He wants his wife to spend more time with her family instead of a never-ending job.
"Feelings need to be given both ways. "That's the crux of the matter.
In Lao Liu's opinion, Fu Seoul has done his best.
But here in Fu Seoul, she still doesn't feel the same amount of feedback from the other party.
This imbalance eventually leads to emotional exhaustion.
In fact, many times it is not a point in time that determines the breakdown of a relationship.
During these fifteen years of married life, the problems between them have long existed.
It's just that these problems are masked and narrowed down due to the trivialities of life.
Maybe from an earlier age, they should have communicated well and sorted out the crux of the problem.
But they all chose to avoid it.
Love is like a bridge, it needs to support each other at both ends.
Once one of the ends is insufficient, this bridge connecting two hearts will not be sustainable.
No matter how strong it once was, it will eventually collapse.
Perhaps they finally realized that the breakdown of a relationship should not be measured by time.
Even walking side by side day in and day out cannot bridge the gap between hearts.
epilogue
This is the story of Lao Liu and Fu Seoul.
But it can also be part of the story of you and me.
Feelings need to go both ways.
We all understand this truth, but it is difficult to actually put it into practice.
Perhaps, that's human nature.