When you read this "title", do you suddenly remember when was the last time you called your child? Do you remember that you still have a son or girl who is away? How long have you not been in touch?
Time really flies too fast, and the little heel who used to be behind you and can't get rid of it is now an adult, but you find that the connection between you is getting less and less, and the relationship is becoming more and more estranged.
Some people say that "when the child grows up", he is getting farther and farther away from his parents
Although I don't want to face it, it is true, as the child grows up and walks into the university campus and leaves his side, he really feels that the child is getting farther and farther away from him.
In fact, it is normal, whether the child is going to college or working in the field, he has a new living environment, contacts with different people, and has his own chasing, the outside world of flowers makes him happy, it can be said that the child has forgotten and forgotten his parents!
So why do children choose to flee from their parents?
Xiaoxiao (pseudonym) is the only daughter in the family, and her parents have been strict with Xiaoxiao since she was a child, controlling her range of friends and limiting her range of activities, until she went to college, Xiaoxiao didn't come home at 8 o'clock in the evening, and her parents would call to urge.
And after arriving at the university, Xiaoxiao finally escaped the control of her parents, began to make new friends, there are different club activities every day, and the colorful college life makes Xiaoxiao happy, and she feels unprecedentedly relaxed.
Although her parents often called, Xiaoxiao simply said a few words on the grounds that she wanted to go to night to Xi and was busy with her studies, not that Xiaoxiao didn't want to call her parents, but she finally escaped the "cage", and she really didn't like her parents nagging every day.
Besides, every time I call my parents, I say "have you eaten, Xi study hard, don't spend money", for parents, every repeated nagging is deep love, but for young people like Yueyue, their parents' nagging is like chanting scriptures, and they have long been tired of listening to these unnutritious words.
Going to college is really the happiest moment in life for young people, without teachers to supervise Xi, without parental supervision and supervision, children are really happy and enjoy college life, all kinds of rich activities, new friends make him happy, long do not know to forget their parents.
In addition, parents are too strict with their children in educating their children, so that children have emotions that want to escape, in this case, children are naturally reluctant to contact their parents often, and they do not want their parents to control themselves all the time.
The way parents and children get along determines how often they call
I remember when I was in college, I would basically have a video call with my parents once a week, and each time I chatted for more than half an hour, talking about the situation at home, the relationship between my parents, my school life, and even whether I had friends.
My roommates are very envious of our family's way of getting along, saying that my parents and I are like friends, we can talk about anything, and we can talk about anything, unlike my own parents who always call a few simple words, and then I don't know what to talk about, and they are always silent on both ends of the phone for a few seconds, before I hang up and scribble to end the call.
As a person who has come over, I can also understand that sometimes it is really not that young people don't want to call their parents, and the way parents and children get along has always been "stiff".
I have a small college graduate who stayed in the field to work, just graduated in the face of an unfamiliar environment, unfamiliar jobs, frustrations at work, very lonely and tired, longing for someone to comfort, so I called my parents, hoping that my parents could comfort and comfort me.
But what she gained was nagging and criticism from her parents:
"You should listen to me and your father, why do you run so far? Isn't it good to take a teacher exam at home and take a civil service exam? Don't regret it when the time comes!"
Fa Xiao hung up the phone in silence, since that call, Fa Xiao does not like to contact his family, generally two or three days of holidays and festivals are not willing to go home, even if it is the New Year, he only stays for four or five days, and the relationship with his family is becoming more and more indifferent.
In fact, many times it is not that children do not contact their parents, but that there is a problem with the way they get along, and the relationship between each other is like "old-fashioned parents and rebellious children" in the TV series, there is no common topic between them, the parents' words are too hard, so hard that the children can't feel that trace of love, the children's social experience is too little, and they can't hear the voices of their parents' concern.
Many Chinese parents are not good at expressing their concern for their children, but they love their children in their hearts, but every time they say words of concern, they are always full of sarcasm, which makes their children sound particularly harsh, which is a problem with the way of communication. /
If you want your child to contact you more, then you must change the way you care for your child, and give her more direct encouragement and comfort when she needs it, and the child gets the most direct warmth in front of her parents, she will naturally slowly increase the number of phone calls with you, and the content of communication is no longer limited to a few simple words.
If your child doesn't contact you, why do you go to him?
One thing that has always impressed me is that there is a roommate in the university dormitory, his hometown is from a small county in Chongqing, his father works at a construction site in Xinjiang, and his father called his daughter once in the four years of college, but it was because the "grandmother" at home died.
Let's just say that if the child doesn't contact his parents, the parents won't take the initiative to call and care?
There may be parents who don't realize this themselves, and always feel that "nothing to contact, nothing to call, something to say directly that it's okay to hang up", and the child is really nothing good, I think so, I don't have much feeling about contacting the child, and it is normal for the child not to call and contact!
Feelings and connections are brought by "more communication", when you have nothing to do, make a phone call to your child, chat about things at home, share some new things, learn to create topics, when your actions can drive your child, the communication between you will become harmonious and smooth.
All in all, the "telephone contact" between parents and children is essentially the epitome of the way parents and children get along, if you have a good relationship with your children and communicate smoothly, then you will often receive calls from your children, but if you rarely chat and chat with stiff content, then naturally children call back very few times, the key is the way you get along all the time.