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I was sitting in a café and saw a couple arguing. The girl was emotional, and the boy calmly said, "Don't be angry, let's have a good talk." The girl kept complaining about some of the boy's minor problems, and seemed very dissatisfied. This scene made me feel uncomfortable, but I also knew that it was normal to not be used to seeing someone's behavior. The way smart people deal with it is often these "three nos": don't say, don't look, and don't smell.
I've also met a lot of people I don't like to look up to, such as indifferent colleagues in the company, spit on the street, and loud phone callers on the subway...... And I myself am a person who pursues perfection, and I can't help but be dissatisfied with these "flaws". But the more I think about it, the wiser these "three noes" become.
"Hey, why do you think that person is so tasteless?" My friend couldn't help but complain when he looked at a strangely dressed man on the side of the road, and I suppressed the dissatisfaction in my heart and said to him with a smile: "Don't say it, let's go." ”
"But don't you think he's going to do anything?" the friend still didn't forget to continue to complain.
"Actually, we don't care about his style and taste, everyone has their own lifestyle and aesthetics. I tried to persuade him in a calm tone.
"But......" My friend wanted to say something.
"Forget it, let's stop talking about it. I interrupted him slightly.
My friend looked at me and knew that I didn't want to continue the conversation anymore, so he changed the subject and started talking about something else.
In the company, there is a colleague who always behaves very cold and is not very warm to everyone. Every time I see him like this, I always feel secretly unhappy in my heart. But I know that complaining doesn't help, and I might as well try to ignore his attitude. So, I did the "three nos": not to say that he was unfriendly, not to look at his indifference, and not to listen to his complaints.
Once, I was busy in the office alone, and I happened to see the indifferent colleague's circle of friends, which had a lot of photos of his life that he usually doesn't easily see, photos of him with his family, photos of his pets...... Suddenly, I found out that this colleague was also a harmonious and happy family member, and also had great warmth and kindness.
"Hey, let's have a meal together after work. "I made an offer to him out of the blue.
"Okay, but why did you ...... all of a sudden" He looked at me in surprise.
"We are also colleagues, so we should communicate more. I smiled.
Since that day, the relationship between me and that colleague has become more harmonious, and it has also made me more convinced of the clever way of handling the "three noes".
In public, you can always meet some people who are not used to it. Whether it's a loud roaring stranger, an uncivilized passerby, or a rampaging tourist, it always makes me feel unpleasant to see it. But I slowly understood that irritability only exacerbates conflicts, and it is better to avoid direct conflict with them. So, I started to be gentler and try not to rub into these people.
"I'm sorry, can you please stop being so loud?" once at the movie theater, a guy sitting next to me kept making and answering the phone loudly, and I tried to stay polite to him.
"Oh, I'm sorry. He immediately lowered his voice and looked at me apologetically.
"It's okay, I understand, but I hope you can pay attention to it later. I also tried to respond to him in a calm tone.
"Okay, thanks for the reminder. He looked at me with some wistful wistfulness, then turned to continue enjoying the movie.
Since then, I've hardly met anyone who makes me feel uncomfortable. I understand that in the face of those people or things that I am not used to, if I can maintain the "three noes", there may be more unexpected gains and changes.
"I didn't expect this place to be so beautiful. My friend who was walking with me sighed.
I smiled and replied, "yes, the scenery of this place is really refreshing." ”
We were talking and laughing and walking, and suddenly, a tourist came up to us, still holding ice cream in his hand, looking like a foreigner. He stopped abruptly and began to discard the ground, unconcerned about his surroundings and the gazes of other tourists. This behavior made me uncomfortable, but I tried to stay calm and didn't say what I thought.
My friend couldn't help but exclaim, "Oh, why is this person so unqualified?"
I quickly stopped him: "Don't say it, let's go." ”
"I think you're very good at being able to stay so calm. "My friend suddenly complimented me.
"Hehe, it's just a little Xi. I replied with a smile.
After a while, we came to a small garden. The garden is full of colorful flowers. In a rare corner of the place, there is a particularly thick, plump rose, and the bright red petals exude a refreshing fragrance, and I can't help but stop and admire it.
"Wow, what a beautiful flower. My friend stopped with me.
"Yes, this rose seems to be telling us to bloom strong even if the surroundings are not as good as we should be. I pointed to the rose and said with emotion.
The friend nodded: "You're right. ”
We continued our tour of the garden and saw a couple walking hand in hand among the flowers, the sweet look was enviable. At the end of the walk, my friend said to me, "It's been a pleasure to come out with you today, let's come back next time." ”
This day made me deeply understand the clever way of dealing with the "three noes". Not talking, not seeing, and not smelling is a more tolerant, understanding mentality of others, and it also brings more peace and joy to yourself. Because what is "unaccustomed" is not only some behaviors of others, but also a kind of cultivation in one's own heart.
We met again and came to a newly opened café with a young performer sitting across from us, playing and singing a beautiful tune. I was fascinated by the talent of the performer, and I was gradually moved by the music, and I began to enjoy the moment leisurely.
"This music is really beautiful, how can you be so talented?" the friend was also impressed by the sound of the player's piano.
"yes, he's really talented. I sighed.
Suddenly, I saw an aunt sitting on the table next to me, who didn't know where to get a bag of melon seeds and chewed them non-stop, distracting everyone else.
My friend also saw this scene and said with some displeasure: "I really don't know how to follow the basic rules of public places." ”
I tried to keep my emotions in check: "Don't say it, let's not go see her, let's enjoy this beautiful music." ”
I don't look, I don't speak, I don't smell, and my mood gradually returns to this beautiful moment. The music of the performers came slowly, and my heart calmed down.
"You're really in control, if I were you, you wouldn't be able to help but say a few words. My friend looked at me with admiration.
In fact, as long as we are not swayed by external things, we are free to choose how to deal with them. I replied with a smile.
We listened to beautiful music and enjoyed the aroma of coffee. This moment made me deeply realize that the "three noes" are not weakness, but a kind of extraordinary control, which can allow us to have inner peace and freedom. Other people's behavior is someone else's business after all, so why let other people's shortcomings affect our mood?
This experience also made me more determined to deal with the "three noes". For those people and things that people are not used to, whether in life or at work, treat them with tolerance and understanding, maybe there will be more changes and surprises. This attitude does not mean accommodation, but inner detachment and freedom.
The soft sunlight shone through the window on the table, and we sat there together, enjoying the warm morning.
"You know, yesterday I met someone I couldn't get used to. The friend said suddenly.
"Oh, what's going on?" I asked, curious.
"It was a colleague who was always making trouble for others in meetings, saying useless things and wasting time. My friend said with some annoyance.
I smiled softly, "Yes, but you also know that there are always some things that don't go well in life, and sometimes we just have to choose not to care." ”
"You have a point, and I'll try not to let these things affect me. The friend nodded.
"By the way, let's go to a concert tonight?" I suddenly suggested.
"Well, music always makes people feel good. My friend gladly accepted.
We strolled to the concert venue, the cozy concert hall, where the audience was immersed in a sea of music and in a happy mood. We found our seats and sat down to enjoy the moment to the fullest. In this sea of music, my mood was gradually soothed.
"The concert was amazing, I felt completely immersed in the music. My friend said excitedly.
"Yes, music is really a healing power. I sighed.
The magic of music made me think about the wisdom of the "three noes" again. In the midst of inexplicable troubles, we may not be able to change some things, but we can choose how to face them, so that we can be balanced and soothed in our hearts. And this soothing will also radiate to all aspects of life.
"There will always be many unsatisfactory things in life, but only by knowing how to let go, tolerate and be free, can we live better. I said to my friend.
"yes, maybe that's what life is all about. My friend said with deep feeling.
There was a sense of tranquility at night, and my friends and I walked through the starlit streets with smiles on our faces. At this time, we are trying our best to achieve the "three noes", and we are not swayed by those unsatisfactory things, and this kind of relaxation also allows us to dispel a lot of dissatisfaction in our hearts and let us enjoy this beautiful night more.
After coming out of the concert hall, my friend and I went to a lively restaurant, the aroma was tangy, and the room was filled with enthusiasm.
"The roast duck in this restaurant is amazing!" the friend sighed as he tasted the food.
"Yes, the environment and service of the restaurant are also excellent. I also responded excitedly.
We ate and chatted, and the conversation inadvertently turned to work and life.
"You know, today I met another person who I don't like to look at. The friend couldn't help but complain.
"What's going on?" I asked with concern.
"It's a neighbor who always plays loud music, and I can't even rest in peace. The friend said with some dissatisfaction.
I smiled lightly, "Maybe he has a special love for music, and we can try to understand him." ”
"Indeed...... I'll try to look at it from a different perspective. The friend nodded.
After dinner, I walked with my friends on the brightly lit streets, and the melodious sound of music could be heard in the distance, and the sporadic lights reflected our figures. At this moment, I suddenly realized that there are always so many people and things in life that I am not used to, but life is rich and colorful, and we can always choose to look at it with a tolerant and inclusive attitude.
"Do you think all the unsatisfactory things in life are necessary?" asked my friend suddenly.
In fact, those unsatisfactory things are also a reminder to us not to be easily influenced by the outside world, learn to accept, and choose how to deal with it. "I'm trying to explain it in a more rational way.
"I'm starting to understand that maybe not everything is right for us, but we can choose how to adjust and not be influenced by them. The friend fell into deep thought.
On this beautiful night, my friends and I poured out our hearts and shared our feelings with each other. I know very well that the "three noes" are not an escape, but a positive attitude and cultivation, which also enables me to more deeply understand and tolerate the unsatisfactory in life. Whether it is life or work, inner peace and calmness are the most important.
As we walked down the street, my friend and I suddenly stopped and saw a homeless man sitting on the side of the road in the distance. He could be seen to be a little decadent and ragged, but he was holding a worn-out guitar and playing melodious songs.
"This homeless man's singing voice is so moving. The friend looked at the homeless man and sighed.
"yes, he may have his own story and dreams. "I was also touched by his music.
"Would you like to give him some money?" asked the friend, pointing to the homeless man on the side of the street.
"Maybe we can do more. "I made a different proposal.
We bought some food from a nearby commissary and brought it to the homeless. He looked at us with a look of surprise.
"This is for you and I hope you enjoy it. I smiled at him.
He took the food and nodded gratefully, "Thank you, I wish you happiness." ”
We didn't stop there, we kept walking.
"Your actions are truly moving. The friend complimented.
"Not everyone has a happy family and conditions, and we can try to understand and help. I replied indifferently.
On the way home, I felt an inexplicable feeling in my heart. Even if there are so many unsatisfactory things in life, we can still choose to understand, tolerate, and even help. This kind of tolerance and understanding is not weakness, but a feeling of luxury. Don't look at others, don't say you're dissatisfied with others, don't listen to others' faults, so that we can be broad-minded and use tolerance to give a better life.