Ever since my son reached puberty, I don't know what day I started arguing with him whenever I talked. His rebellion and school aversion grew, our relationship became strained and cold, my child became more and more rebellious, and my relationship with my son became more and more strained. After many unsuccessful attempts, I realized that the traditional mother-son relationship was no longer enough to meet my son's needs.
During this time, anxiety kept me up at night, and in order to change that, I began to re-examine my attitude and approach. I realized that when dealing with my adolescent son, I needed to let go of my mother's all-round arrangements and stop interfering too much with his freedom and Xi. Instead, I should treat my son like a stranger. This shift may seem strange, but it's actually the key to solving the problem.
Treating our adolescent son as a stranger requires adjustments in our communication styles and focuses. First of all, we need to change the traditional way of communication, from tantrums and reasoning to a peaceful, accepting way of getting along. In this way, we can reduce conflicts and misunderstandings and build a more trusting relationship with our son. Secondly, we need to put the parent-child relationship first, not just focus on academic Xi grades. When we pay more attention to the child's emotional needs and personality development, we can truly enter his inner world.
Adolescent children crave recognition and respect. It is only when children feel accepted and recognized that they let down their guard and build intimacy with their parents. Therefore, we need to learn to appreciate our child's strengths and progress, and encourage him to develop his strengths and interests. At the same time, we must also learn to give our children a certain space and freedom to grow and develop in their own world.
By treating my adolescent son as a stranger, I gradually entered his inner world. I let go of control and criticism, and learned to understand and support him. I found that when I became my son's friend and supporter, he finally stopped being rebellious. He began to take the initiative to share his thoughts and feelings with me, and our relationship became closer and more harmonious.
This experience made me realize that parenthood is not static. As children grow and change, we need to constantly adjust our attitudes and methods to suit their needs. When we can let go of the baggage of tradition and treat children as an independent and thoughtful individual, we can truly become a guide on their growth path. #青春期叛逆#