In modern society, people often regard "helpfulness" as a sign of high emotional intelligence, and it seems that as long as they are willing to lend a hand, they can win a good reputation and popularity. In fact, however, sometimes it is wiser to refuse. Especially for those who are insightful and intelligent, they pay more attention to the comprehensive assessment of their own abilities, circumstances and substantive situation, and strive not to get involved in unnecessary troubles, so that the rejection of other people's requests has become a regular part of their lives. However, I would like to remind you that such behaviour is not a lack of empathy or emotional detachment, but rather a reflection of composure and relief.
First, let's look at the first level: when someone asks for help that is beyond our expectations, a wise person will frankly decline it. This is not based on one's own stinginess or laziness, but out of careful consideration of one's own ability. People can tolerate their own shortcomings, but it is difficult to tolerate the sense of failure caused by being overtrusted, so smart people often take a cautious attitude towards tasks beyond their control, so as to avoid the undesirable consequences of rushing to deal with them, and the enormous pressure and responsibility that comes from it.
Secondly, valuing monetary interests is another principle of theirs. When confronted with material wealth matters such as debts and security for others, such wise people will resolutely and decisively refuse. After all, the responsibilities of money are complex and full of variables, and there are many twists and turns hidden behind any price, and deliberately ignoring the potential risks, or indulging in the so-called "artificial friendship" and "respect for morality", may only lead to the trapping of the abyss of complexity, and eventually fall into a difficult predicament.
Finally, for the so-called "catastrophes", the wise people have long understood that some regrets cannot be resolved after all. A wise person abides by his duty and never easily carries the burden of other people's problems, or forcibly acts as a good man praised by everyone. If you understand it, you can detach yourself from things and be quiet and free in your heart. If you can't change, why struggle? Only by getting out of it can you spend more time on yourself and your career, and at the same time, you can do your best to help others, so as to show their generosity.
To sum up, smart people are not always able to wholeheartedly support others in their daily lives, especially when faced with events that are far more difficult than their personal ability, involve financial interests or even irreparable, they will not hesitate to choose to give up, as their way of life, which is their criterion for dealing with others. They understand that only by helping others at the right time can they truly help others and bring peace and freedom to themselves. When dealing with the help of others, a wise person will always carefully consider his own abilities, objective circumstances and actual circumstances, and then make a wise and feasible decision based on this. If they find themselves truly powerless, they will not be forced, but will choose to tell the truth clearly in order to avoid further trouble. At the same time, this is a demonstration of their water-clear life wisdom and restrained and sophisticated social strategy skills.
On the whole, this kind of self-assertion is far more tangible and justified than blind compassion. It's not that they're ruthless, it's actually the art of in-depth insight into life and character interactions. They are well aware that under certain conditions, being overly enthusiastic or blindly reaching out to help will only lead to their own difficulties, and it is difficult to really achieve the expected help effect. After weighing the pros and cons, they will make effective actions based on their actual situation and accurate judgment. This unique behavior pattern undoubtedly shows their attitude as a mature and responsible person.