No matter what it is, a hundred people have a hundred opinions.
The public says that the public is reasonable, and the mother-in-law says that the mother-in-law is reasonable, and it seems that everyone is reasonable, but when you don't know how to absorb, you fall into confusion.
This phenomenon is known as "Wech's Law", which means that even if you already have your own opinion, if you have ten relatives and friends who think the opposite of you, it is difficult not to waver.
For a family, parents are hoping that their daughters will become phoenixes and their sons will become dragons.
But when the children grow up and find that things backfire, the children may not be as good as themselves, and they have been wandering at the bottom and are in trouble.
俗话说：“一步错，步步错。 ”
If the initial choice is wrong, or the goal is uncertain, then the parent's education will fail, and the child will grow up, most likely unable to recover.
Nan Huaijin, a master of Chinese culture, said: "Seeing profit is not working for pre-establishment, and not being chaotic in distress is determined." ”
We can't stop other people's mouths, we can only stabilize our goals in an environment where there are different opinions, and push our children to high places. This can be stronger from generation to generation.
01
The future of children is inseparable from the three "determinations" of parents.
When children are young, they obey their parents' words.
Parenting is like pouring water – water in a cup, a glass of water, water in a bucket, a bucket of water, water in a spring, rushing water.
Parents can fill water in any way, but they can't change it around, and they can't follow the crowd.
First, when choosing a job, don't look at the present, but accumulate steadily.
In ancient times, large families required their sons to inherit their father's business. If the children and grandchildren continue a career, it will be prosperous.
Now we will also say, with the efforts of several generations, why did you lose the "ten-year cold window"?
The choice of career is really important for the growth of children, if the career is uncertain, or the starting point is too low, it is difficult to get famous.
As a post-70s generation, I grew up in a rural area, and many of my classmates were immediately arranged by their parents to go to Dongguan to work after graduating from junior high school.
In a hardware factory in Shijie Town, there are more than a dozen young people in the village.
After many years, we are all in our forties, and most of the people who went to work at the beginning are still working, and as we get older, it is difficult to find a job.
Our parents' original choice was to "get money quickly and reduce the burden on the family", but it harmed their children to a certain extent.
Let your children study more, see the world, and engage in skilled work, and the results will definitely be different.
Second, choose a position, don't try to be comfortable, but go to a high place.
Choose a position that is difficult for others to replace, or create a good position, and people will be happy.
If you choose a comfortable location from the beginning, the results will definitely not be optimistic. But many parents do this way, because everyone wants their children to suffer less.
In "Dream of Red Mansions", the work of Yihong Courtyard is something that many people are willing to go to, the work is easy, and it can be close to Baoyu, and it is the core department. Baoyu has a gentle personality and will not make everyone suffer, but also can give everyone benefits.
At that time, there were so many maids around Baoyu that they couldn't name them.
Liu Wu'er, the daughter of the cook in Jiafu, and Xiaohong, the daughter of the housekeeper Lin Zhixiao, were all arranged to Yihong Courtyard through personal relationships.
But later, the people in Yihong Courtyard finally realized that "dying in peace", Xiaohong was asked to leave by Wang Xifeng, Liu Wuer was suspected of stealing rose dew, was locked up for a period of time, and Shen'er was directly driven away.
If you want your children to get out of the bottom, you must find a position with potential, rather than sitting back and enjoying your success.
Third, choose a mate, don't be greedy for money, but look at character.
How many parents, in order to make their children happy, ask each other to give hundreds of thousands of dowries as soon as they open their mouths.
Ask yourself, if there is more bride price, can you guarantee happiness for a lifetime?
When you meet a rich second generation who is lazy and a villain who is a thief, even if you are rich, there is no way to guarantee a happy marriage.
Although the marriage is wrong, divorce can be done, and the cost is enormous. Some people are even trapped in it for the rest of their lives.
Marriage is the second reincarnation of children, looking for people with good character, and when the inner realm is high, it is the real person who goes to a higher place. If the person is good, the marriage is peaceful, and the money will naturally be there.
Parents should not be blinded by the superficial phenomena of society. The people around you do not represent the truth.
02
The biggest vision of parents is to let their children "stick to the green mountains and not relax".
People commented on "Wech's Law": "There should be no prejudice when you have not heard it, and you should not be unassertive after listening." ”
Don't worry about the colorful world we see, don't be afraid to hear a lot of advice, as long as you can make the final decision.
My neighbor, Lao Zhang, sent his daughter, who was a few years old, to dance.
Many people think that Lao Zhang and his wife are very fat, and their daughter should be fat when she grows up, and the way to dance will not work.
When her daughter was nine years old, she couldn't bear the hardships of the training camp and planned to give up dancing.
Lao Zhang's sister, who felt sorry for her niece, also stood on the child's side and said to give up dancing.
But Lao Zhang did not waver, patiently persuading his daughter.
Now, Lao Zhang's daughter has finished her normal education and is a teacher. Life has a relatively high starting point.
Let's look at another example of the ancients: Qiu Ying, a master of painting in the Ming Dynasty. He wanted to be a painter from an early age, but his parents couldn't pay him tuition, so they arranged for him to work as a painter.
Painters make money, and there are similarities with painting, and the parents take this into account.
When Qiu Ying's painting skills were very popular, he was invited by Tang Bohu to decorate the house.
As a result, he followed Tang Bohu's teacher Zhou Chen and improved his painting skills.
There is no casual success, but it is just "keeping the clouds open and seeing the moon".
Specifically, parents set their children's future and do it from three perspectives.
First, be obedient to nature. Find your child's favorite things when they were young, and use their interests as a guide.
Second, create highlights. Avoid children who know everything, are not refined, and do one line of love.
Third, be flexible in a timely manner. According to the development of the times, adjust the specific practices of children, and all roads lead to Rome.
Good parents, make sure that their opinions are correct, and then make sure that their opinions are not stubborn.
03
Philanthropist Chen Guangbiao said: "I take my child to the forum of the Babi dinner, because every time I do charitable foundations and charitable donations, I will take him to participate in it, so as to cultivate his perception of life and wealth." I hope that my children will also work in the environmental protection industry in the future, and after making money, they will also give back to the society like me. ”
Yes, if several generations have been doing high-level things, then everyone will not be at the bottom.
When people are born, they are all smooth, and the starting point lies in their parents.
If you want your children not to become low-level people, don't just stare at the top, but also use wisdom, kindness, pattern, economy, etc., to push your children to the top.
The love of parents for their children is far-reaching.
The self-love of children is not stopped.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.