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When I was 62 years old, an unexpected dinner party turned my peaceful life upside down. At that time, I was an ordinary retired old man, living with my husband Andy Lau and daughter Xiaofang. Although our life is not rich, it is also warm and harmonious.
That day, I met my old classmate Zhang Dahai in the supermarket. We had a young relationship in high school, but for various reasons, we didn't end up together. He smiled and invited me to a class reunion, and I hesitated, but eventually agreed.
On the day of the party, I put on the cheongsam I hadn't seen for a long time, trying to regain some of the feeling of being younger. When I saw Zhang Dahai, my heart beat faster inexplicably. He is more mature and stable than I remember, and his eyes reveal the precipitation brought by the years.
We had a great chat at the party, as if we had gone back to that carefree youth. Zhang Dahai also suggested that the two of us go alone for a cup of coffee after the party and continue to talk about the old times. I knew it might be inappropriate, but I finally agreed.
In the café, Zhang Dahai talked about his life over the years. He is divorced, his children are working in other places, and he feels a little lonely. As I listened, I couldn't help but feel a little resonance in my heart. My husband Andy Lau is a good person, but the passion between us has long been gone, and life has become a kind of Xi companionship.
We talked for a long time, not even realizing the passage of time. When I got home, it was late at night. Andy Lau asked me where I went with some worry, but I was hesitant and didn't tell the truth.
After that night, Zhang Dahai and I kept in touch. Occasionally, we send a WeChat message to chat about our daily life. I know it's a bit derailing, but I can't help myself. I began to look forward to every chat with Zhang Dahai, and even deliberately avoided Andy Lau sometimes.
About a month later, Zhang Dahai offered to invite me to dinner. I knew it might be a dangerous step, but I said yes anyway. We met in a small and inconspicuous restaurant, avoiding the gaze of acquaintances.
In the restaurant, Zhang Dahai suddenly held my hand, looked at me seriously, and said, "I have never forgotten you, you have always been in my heart for so many years." "My heart was shaken, I was both excited and scared. It's something I haven't felt in years.
Our relationship began to get delicate. Even though we didn't do anything out of the ordinary, the affair was starting to make me feel guilty. Every time I come home and see Andy Lau's steady face, my heart hurts like being pricked by a needle.
Soon, her daughter Xiaofang also began to notice something. One day, she asked me, "Mom, are you hiding something from us?" But Xiao Fang's eyes were full
Doubt.
During that time, my feelings became more and more complicated. Although there has been no substantial progress in the relationship between me and Zhang Dahai, the inner entanglement has deepened day by day. I began to avoid Andy Lau and Xiaofang's gaze, afraid that they would see through my heart.
One day, when I was going to the market to buy groceries, I happened to meet my old neighbor, Aunt Li. She looked at me sharply and said earnestly: "When you reach middle age, you must know how to cherish the happiness around you, and don't let a momentary impulse ruin the peace of your life." "My heart tightened, and I wondered if she already knew something.
As time went on, I felt more and more troubled by this secret relationship. I began to doubt my choices, constantly oscillating between Zhang Dahai and my family.
One night, Andy Lau suddenly said to me seriously: "We need to have a good talk." There was a sternness in his tone that I had never seen before. My heart sank, and it felt as if things had reached a point of no return.
Andy Lau looked directly at me and said in a deep voice, "I know you have been worried a lot lately, is there something to hide from me and Xiaofang?" I lowered my head, not knowing how to answer. The silence lasted for a long time, Andy Lau sighed and continued: "No matter what happens, we can sit down and solve it well. I don't want our relationship for so many years to end like this. ”
Listening to Andy Lau's words, my heart was full of guilt. I knew I owed him an explanation, but I didn't know where to start. In the end, I still mustered up the courage to tell him all about Zhang Dahai.
Andy Lau was silent for a long time after listening, and the expression on his face changed from shock to disappointment. He said slowly, "I didn't expect you to do something like this. I need time to think about it. ”
Over the next few days, the atmosphere at home became unusually heavy. Andy Lau barely spoke to me, and Xiaofang also sensed that something was wrong, but she didn't know exactly what was going on.
In this oppressive atmosphere, I began to reflect on my own actions. I realized that I had not only betrayed Andy Lau, but also betrayed the principles and family commitments that I had adhered to for many years.
One day, Zhang Dahai sent a message saying that he wanted to see me. I hesitated for a long time, but finally decided to go to him and tell him that I couldn't go on like this.
We sat down on a park bench, and I looked him in the eye and said, "Zhang Dahai, we can't do this anymore." I can't give up my years of family life on the spur of the moment. I'm sorry for you, but I'm even more sorry for my family. ”
Zhang Dahai was silent for a while, and then said slowly: "I understand, and I don't want to ruin your family because of my appearance." I will withdraw from your life and hope you are happy. ”
When I came home that day, I felt both physically and mentally
Exhaustion. I deeply realized that the consequences of momentary loss and impulsiveness were far more serious than I had imagined. I began to try to repair my relationship with Andy Lau, but his disappointment and pain did not dissipate so easily.
After a few days, Xiaofang finally couldn't help but ask me, "Mom, is there something wrong with you and Dad?" "In the face of my daughter's questioning, I felt extremely heartbroken. I know that our problems have affected her.
I decided to talk to Xiaofang honestly. I told her that there were indeed some issues between me and my dad and that we were trying to fix them. Xiao Fang was silent for a while, and then said, "Mom, no matter what happens, I will support you." Family is important to me and I don't want to see our family break up. ”
Hearing Xiaofang say this, my tears couldn't stop flowing. I realized that not only Andy Lau, but I also owe my daughter an apology.
In the days that followed, I tried to reintegrate into family life and participate in as many family activities as possible to help Andy Lau and Xiaofang. Although the attitude of the two has eased, I can feel that the rift between them is not so easy to repair.
At the same time, I also began to reflect on my own life. I realized that I was ignoring my own needs and feelings in my family and marriage, which was one of the reasons why I was lost for a while. I started reading some books and trying to find myself and understand how to better balance personal needs and family responsibilities.
One weekend, Andy Lau suggested that the family go to the countryside to try to ease the tension. Together, we went to a scenic lake, where the scenery was peaceful and beautiful. At that moment, I felt as if I had felt the warmth of family that I had not felt for a long time.
By the lake, Andy Lau suddenly said to me: "I know this time is also very sad for you. We all have a responsibility to make marriages better. I am willing to work with you to rediscover our relationship. "I was both surprised and moved to hear these words. I didn't expect Andy Lau to have such thoughts.
That night, Andy Lau and I had a long conversation, and we discussed our relationship and how we could improve our lives together. This conversation made me feel that the distance between us has been shortened, and although there is still a long way to go to solve the problem, at least we have begun.
A few weeks later, Fang happily told us that her boyfriend was coming to the house. It was the first time we met Xiaofang's boyfriend, and we both felt a little nervous but full of anticipation. His name is Li Ming, and he is a gentle young man who takes great care of Xiaofang.
The arrival of Li Ming has made our family atmosphere more relaxed and pleasant. Andy Lau and I looked at Xiaofang and Li Ming and couldn't help but feel gratified. At that moment, I suddenly realized that family and love are needed or not
Break the business and cherish. Seeing that Xiaofang and Li Ming were so affectionate, I began to reflect on my marriage and realized that if it weren't for the impulse, my family might have been so warm and harmonious.
On the night of Li Ming's visit, our family sat around the living room, chatting in an unusually harmonious atmosphere. Li Ming talked about his family, his parents also went through a marital crisis, but in the end, through each other's efforts and understanding, they overcame the difficulties together. Hearing this story, Andy Lau and I looked at each other and smiled, full of emotion.
The next day, Xiaofang and Li Ming went shopping together, and only me and Andy Lau were left at home. We decided to make lunch together, something we hadn't done together in a long time. While busy in the kitchen, we talked about a lot of things from the past, including the days we had just gotten married, the sweetness and dreams of that time. These memories bring our relationship closer together, as if we have regained some lost emotion.
After lunch, I proposed to go for a walk together. We walked in the nearby park and enjoyed a quiet afternoon. I plucked up the courage to express my apologies and gratitude to Andy Lau. I said, "This incident made me deeply aware of my mistake. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to reflect and make corrections. I think we can start over and rebuild our relationship. ”
Andy Lau held my hand and said gently: "We all have faults, the important thing is that we are willing to solve the problem together." I am also willing to let go of the past and start over with you. "At that moment, I felt a sense of warmth and security that I hadn't felt in a long time.
Over time, our relationship gradually improved. We started communicating more and sharing each other's thoughts and feelings. We also started experimenting with new activities, such as going to dance classes together or going on excursions in the countryside on the weekends. These activities make our lives more colorful and increase the intimacy between us.
In the process, I also began to pay more attention to my heart. I started keeping a journal to record my feelings and thoughts, which became a way for me to self-reflect and release my emotions. I also picked up my younger hobby – painting – and every time I picked up a brush, I felt an inexplicable sense of calm and contentment.
After a few months, my relationship with Andy Lau has improved a lot. We started planning things for the long term, like going on trips together, or redecorating our homes. These programs give us common goals and expectations.
However, just as our lives were getting better, the unexpected struck again. One afternoon, I received a phone call, it was Zhang Dahai. His voice sounded shaky, and he said he was unwell and wanted to see me one last time. When I heard the news, I had mixed feelings and didn't know what to do.
I discussed this matter with Andy Lau. Although this is a sensitive topic, but
Andy Lau was silent for a while, and then said, "I know that he once had a special place in your life. If you feel the need to go to him, I won't stop you. I looked at him gratefully, and my heart was filled with emotion.
After deciding to meet Zhang Dahai, my heart was full of contradictions. On the one hand, I was worried that this meeting would rekindle the waves in my heart, and on the other hand, I felt that I should give him a chance to say goodbye.
I went to the hospital alone. When I met Zhang Dahai, I was shocked by his haggard face. He looked very weak, but when he saw me, there was a glint of relief in his eyes.
We didn't say much. Zhang Dahai held my hand and whispered, "Thank you for coming to see me." I've always remembered that time when we were over the years. I hope you can be happy. "I tried to keep my emotions to myself and told him that my life was fine now and that I wanted him to have peace of mind.
On the way out of the hospital, I was in a heavy mood. This meeting made me think about the meaning of love and life again. I realized that no matter what life throws us, what matters is how we face and choose.
When I got home, I told Andy Lau about the meeting. He listened quietly, then hugged me gently. At that moment, I deeply felt the warmth and support of my family.
As time went by, my relationship with Andy Lau became stronger and stronger. We learned to communicate more openly and to value each other more. We also pay more attention to the harmony and happiness of the family.
In the process, I gradually let go of my memory of Zhang Dahai. I understand that there will always be regrets in life, but the most important thing is to cherish what you have in front of you.
A year later, Andy Lau and I went on a trip together, and it was our first two-person world in many years. During the trip, we relived the passion and romance of our youth, and also reaffirmed our love for each other.
After returning from our trip, we decided to do a big renovation of our home. We design together, we choose materials together, we decorate together. Through this process, our relationship has become stronger and our home has become more welcoming.
Just when our lives were gradually getting on track, Xiaofang brought good news: she and Li Ming were engaged. Our whole family is happy for them. Looking at Xiaofang's happy smile, Andy Lau and I looked at each other and smiled, full of satisfaction.
Xiaofang's wedding was very warm and simple. At the wedding, looking at Xiaofang and Li Ming's happy appearance, I deeply realized that true happiness does not lie in the absence of twists and turns, but in the fact that there are loving people who face everything together.
Life goes on. Andy Lau and I got better and better, and we started planning for our retirement life, including travel plans and some shared hobbies. Our lives become full and meaningful.
In the process, I learned
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