"There are three elements of good love, mutual respect, mutual understanding, and mutual need. ”
Every love is made up of many important factors, such as responsibility, understanding, respect, etc. In a good marriage, respect and care are the biggest premises.
Husband and wife respect each other, and sometimes it can carry much more weight than love. Love may not be exchanged for love, and even love will be unpredictable, but respect must be able to exchange for corresponding respect.
Respect is the boundary that everyone gets along with, and sometimes it is easy to break the boundary between husband and wife, it is easy to fall in love, but it is difficult to get along, and today we will talk about it.
Recently, I watched a variety show "Looking for Love". The protagonists of the story are 43-year-old Tian Lei and Qian Jiawen, who fell in love at the age of 18, got married at the age of 21, and have been in love for 20 years.
After marriage, they have two lovely daughters, a car and a house, and they can be regarded as worry-free. And the relationship is very good, and they are a "model couple" in the eyes of neighbors, relatives and friends.
Tian Lei said in an interview: "I am obedient to her, laundry and cooking, and I work hard to earn money outside." But his wife Qian Jiawen would rather choose to leave the house and end the marriage.
His wife suddenly divorced him, which made Tian Lei puzzled. I tried many ways to make my wife change her mind and return to me. even mobilized the whole family and friends to do ideological work for Jiawen, but his wife was determined to divorce her.
Tian Lei found the program team to seek adjustment, and he felt that the relationship between the two was so good, it might be that his wife had cheated.
But this is not the case.
Qian Jiawen tearfully said in the interview the reason why she wanted to divorce: the Tian family has always wanted a boy, and in the past 20 years, Qian Jiawen has been pregnant 15 times, 13 times, and twice chose to give birth to a girl because she couldn't have a baby.
Qian Jiawen even used the word "binding" to describe her life in the past 20 years.
Tian Lei felt that this was just an excuse for his wife to divorce. He felt that he provided a lot of material things to his wife, and this was the most important "good" in his marriage.
But in fact, what his wife wants is only respect and love.
In real life, there are indeed not many overly and selfish partners like Tian Lei, but this kind of relationship that thinks he has paid a lot is not a minority.
If couples can't respect each other, the relationship will eventually be unbalanced and simply unsustainable.
Tong Liya in the past was also such a person, and she also faced feelings of not being respected. After Yang Mi's introduction, she met Chen Sicheng.
Soon after, Tong Liya became Chen Sicheng's girlfriend. But Chen Sicheng didn't even give her the most basic final.
At that time, when Tong Liya made their relationship public for the first time, Tong Liya cried and Chen Sicheng did not comfort him, but hugged the host next to him.
What's more serious is that when Chen Sicheng hugged Tong Liya, he didn't care if she would go away, and he didn't hold her when he walked, no matter what he did, basically Chen Sicheng's eyes were not on Yaya's body.
The two were angry and quarreled, and no matter who was wrong, she took the initiative to apologize in less than five minutes......
And Chen Sicheng directly in front of the media, made a statement that "a man has three wives and four concubines, everyone will betray".
This unequal and disrespected relationship finally ushered in the end of "divorce".
Being with a man who doesn't respect you will only make you dull and get the other person to have the same respect for you.
CCTV's variety show "Hello Life", there was an episode of Kang Hui who lost a game, and the punishment was to call his wife to confess, and without letting her know that it was a recorded show, he said: "I love you." ”
But after Kang Hui made the call, he directly asked his wife's opinion and asked her if she would mind if the call between the two was broadcast on the show: "I must tell my wife what is going on, whether the content of the call will be broadcast or not, I have to respect my wife's opinion." ”
When a guest coaxed his wife's opinion to be unimportant, he retorted solemnly: "No, her opinion is important!"
This approach is really good, in his opinion, the premise of love is actually respect, only by putting the other party in the same position, to respect her, love her, marriage can go further.
END
There is no perfect marriage in this world, there are just marriages that do not regret. And not regretting it, it takes time to confirm.