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My name is Uncle Zhang, and I have been retired at home for many years. I have an only child named Xiao Wang, he works in Beijing, and I live alone in an old house where my grandchildren and daughter-in-law are also in Beijing. My retirement salary is not high, but for the sake of my children, I still do my best to transfer 5,500 yuan a month to Xiao Wang's living expenses, hoping that the couple can live a better life.
I remember the day Xiao Wang got married, I was so happy that I couldn't close my mouth. Xiao Li is beautiful and capable, and I love her like I have an extra daughter. After a few years of marriage, they also gave birth to a lovely grandson, and I think about spending more time with my grandson in the future.
A few days ago, Xiao Wang suddenly called and said in a calm tone that he and Xiao Li had thought about it and were ready to divorce. When I heard the news, I was instantly dumbfounded, and the teacup in my hand fell to the ground.
"Why do you want to get a divorce? The child is still so young, and you have always had a good relationship?" I asked anxiously.
"That's it, Dad, it's a long story. We've thought it through, so don't persuade us. Xiao Wang's tone was very decisive.
I hung up the phone, my mind still in a mess. They have obviously had a good relationship, so why are they suddenly going to divorce? I called Xiao Li several times, but she didn't answer. I was terrified, afraid that they would make some irreversible decision.
"Xiao Li, why do you want to divorce? Is there any misunderstanding? You talk to your uncle, and if there are any problems, we will solve them together. I persuaded.
"Uncle, I'm sorry, this time I thought about getting a divorce. Wang Kai he won't agree, but I really can't continue this life. Xiao Li said with red eyes.
When I heard her say that, my heart was in turmoil. They have always had a good relationship, so how could they suddenly come to the point of divorce? I anxiously asked, "What the hell is going on? Have you two always had a bad relationship? Is there any misunderstanding?"
Xiao Li shook his head and said, "Emotional matters, it's a long story. To put it simply, I'm fed up with Wang Kai's desire to control, he always thinks that I should be like this, and I feel like I'm losing my freedom. I really couldn't stand it, so I had to choose a divorce. ”
I listened and fell into deep thought. Maybe as Xiao Li's husband, Xiao Wang is indeed a little too controlling. But emotional problems are not solved overnight. I advised Xiao Li that since he has a child, he should work hard to save this marriage: "You finally have a baby, don't give up easily."
"Maybe there is a misunderstanding between you and Wang Kai, but the foundation of your relationship is still there, and you shouldn't give up so easily. For the sake of the children, you should sit down again and have a good talk to give this marriage a chance to save. I continued.
Xiao Li said with red eyes and an excited tone: "Uncle, I'm really fed up!" Wang Kai doesn't care about my feelings at all, he just wants to control what I should do and what I shouldn't do. I've been patient for a long time, and there's really no way to continue. ”
I looked at Xiao Li's sad appearance, and I felt sorry for her. I thought about it for a while and said, "In this case, Uncle will talk to Wang Kai first to see if he can change his desire to control you and give you some free space." If he agrees to make amends, can you think about it again and give this marriage a chance?"
Xiao Li was silent, then nodded lightly and said, "Then uncle, go talk to him and see if he agrees to change." But I don't want to get my hopes up either. ”
I comforted Xiao Li a few words, and then went to find Xiao Wang. I told him directly, you control Xiao Li too much, she can't stand it, and your relationship is in jeopardy. If he doesn't change, Xiao Li will really choose to divorce.
After listening to this, Xiao Wang's face was ugly: "Dad, this is a matter between our husband and wife, don't interfere." I have my own problems, and Xiao Li also has her problems. Even if I get divorced, I won't change my approach. ”
Seeing him say this, I was also very anxious. I advised him, can't you change a little and give Xiao Li some free space? Feelings need to be understood and tolerated by both parties. You still have a child, you are a family, you should try to save it a little more.
Xiao Wang still shook his head: "No, this is my principle." If she can't accept it, then divorce. ”
I saw him so stubborn, and it was hard to persuade him for a while. I can only go back and tell Xiao Li first, Xiao Wang doesn't plan to change for the time being, you can think about it again, whether to divorce or not.
After listening to my relay, Xiao Li's face became even more ugly. She said with red eyes, "It seems that he doesn't care about my feelings at all." Then I can only choose to divorce, I really can't continue like this!"
I looked at her sad look and was also distressed. But I still advise her that the foundation of your relationship is still there, and you should not give up. I will find a way to talk to Xiao Wang again, and you must also remain rational and don't make too hasty decisions.
Xiao Li was silent for a while, and then said, "Then uncle, you can try again, but I don't have too much hope." I'm really fed up with this control. ”
I nodded, and decided to talk to Xiao Wang again to see if there was any room for maneuvering. The young couple is on the verge of divorce like this, and I'm also in a hurry, but
But I still have to do my duty as a father to find a way to save their marriage.
Xiao Wang still looked resolute: "Dad, I won't change my approach." I think my requests for Xiao Li are all reasonable, for the sake of our family's better. If she can't accept it, then divorce. ”
When I saw him like this, I was also very anxious. I said, "Then you really want to divorce Xiao Li? You have a child and are a family, and this will have a great impact on the child." The foundation of your relationship is still there, and you shouldn't give up. ”
Xiao Wang said: "I am also sad, but I can't go against my principles. Dad, don't persuade me anymore, my decision won't change. ”
Seeing him so stubborn, it was difficult for me to persuade him for a while. I can only go to Xiao Li again and tell her about the situation. After listening to my relay, Xiao Li said with red eyes: "He doesn't care about my feelings at all! He just wants to control me, and I really can't stand this kind of life." It seems that we really have to get divorced. ”
I felt very uncomfortable, but I didn't know how to persuade them. I said, "You finally have a baby, you shouldn't just give up so easily." I'll think of a way to do it again, and you guys should also calm down and don't rush to divorce. ”
I anxiously asked, "Unless what? Is there any other solution?"
Xiao Li hesitated for a moment and said, "Uncle, if you can give me 3,000 yuan a month for living expenses, I can consider not divorcing for the time being, and see if Wang Kai can change." ”
As soon as I heard this request, I immediately became a little annoyed: "How can you open such conditions?" I've already given you 5,500 a month, why do you want me to give you another 3,000?"
Xiao Li said with red eyes: "Uncle, you also saw it, Wang Kai doesn't care about my feelings at all." I want to be financially independent, and I don't want to be controlled by him all day. 3000 is not much for you, so you can help me. ”
It was hard for me to accept her unreasonable request: "No, I can't agree to that. I've already given you money, so how can I just give you one?"
Xiao Li saw that I didn't agree, and his tone became even more excited: "Then don't persuade me to get back together! I decided to divorce!" After saying that, she ran back to the house with red eyes and slammed the door shut.
I stood still, anxious and helpless. small
Xiao Li's request really embarrassed me. I am a traditional father who has always only favored his son's side and never considered his daughter-in-law's feelings. Now it seems that maybe I have been on Xiao Wang's side and have not fully understood Xiao Li's thoughts, which is also very unfair to their feelings.
I stood there and thought about it. Indeed, Xiao Wang's control of Xiao Li is not right, and I understand Xiao Li's desire to be financially independent. But directly asking me to give her 3,000 yuan a month is indeed a bit excessive.
I thought about it and felt that I should look at it from the perspective of both of them. I decided to talk to Xiao Li again and see if I could make sense:
"Xiao Li, calm down, let's talk about it again. I understand that you want to be financially independent, but if you ask me to give you 3,000 yuan a month, do you think it's appropriate?"
Xiao Li said with red eyes, "Uncle, this is my last request." Wang Kai doesn't care about me at all, only when I am financially independent, can I have a choice. You can help me. ”
"What do you want to do, uncle? If Xiao Wang still doesn't change, we will have to divorce. Xiao Li asked.
I said, "I'll think of another way." The foundation of your relationship is still there, and you shouldn't give up. Give me some time, I'll figure it out. ”
Xiao Li was silent, and then said, "Then uncle, try again, I won't move out for the time being." But if the problem still can't be solved, I'm really going to get a divorce. ”
I nodded and decided to talk to Xiao Wang calmly again. I said to him seriously: "Son, I know you have your principles, but feelings need to be understood by both parties. Can you change it a little bit and give Xiao Li some freedom in life?"
Xiao Wang still shook his head: "No, this is related to my bottom line." Even if I get divorced, I won't change my approach. ”
I continued to advise him: "You have a child who has a great influence on him. Can't you let Xiao Li have some more for the sake of the child?"
Xiao Wang finally hesitated: "This, maybe I can think about it." But it's hard to change your principles, you give me some time to think about it. ”
I finally saw a glimmer of hope. I said, "Okay, think about it." As long as your relationship foundation is still there, you will definitely be able to solve the problem. I will fully support you, and please consider Xiao Li's feelings. ”
Xiao Wang nodded silently.
I think there's been some progress in this conversation, and maybe he'll really think about a change. I decided to observe for a while, and if Xiao Wang's desire to control weakened, Xiao Li might give up the idea of divorce.
I will continue to work hard to bring them together
I will continue to work towards their reconciliation. After a week, I went to Xiao Li again to understand the situation and asked her if Xiao Wang had changed during this time.
Xiao Li hesitated for a moment and said, "He really didn't control me unreasonably like before, and gave me a little freedom." But the fundamental problem remains, and I still feel that he does not respect my feelings. ”
I nodded and said, "This has made good progress, which shows that Xiao Wang is reflecting and changing. Emotional problems cannot be solved overnight, and it takes time to run in. If you observe for a while, if Xiao Wang's desire to control continues to weaken, can you consider continuing this marriage?"
Xiao Li thought for a while and said, "I'll take a look at it again, but it's hard to say whether the problem can be fundamentally solved." I still want a divorce. ”
I advised her: "The foundation of your relationship is still there, and it is worth working harder." I will continue to communicate with Xiao Wang, and I believe that the problem can be solved. ”
After that, I talked to Xiao Wang again and told him that Xiao Li still needs more freedom and respect, and hoped that he would continue to change to save this marriage. Although Xiao Wang still felt that he had no major problems, he finally nodded and said that he would continue to work hard.
After a month like this, I felt the need to communicate with them again to see how the month went. This time, I called Xiao Wang and Xiao Li and wanted them to talk face-to-face.
Let me ask Xiao Li first, has Xiao Wang's desire to control weakened during this time, and do you still want to divorce now?
Xiao Li said: "It is true that he has less control over me during this time, and I feel that the relationship has eased." But I still want to be truly free and respected, so I'm still thinking about divorce. ”
I turned my head and asked Xiao Wang, "Then have you been reflecting and changing during this time?
Xiao Wang said: "I am reflecting on my previous problems, so I consciously give Xiao Li more space. But there are some principles that I can't completely change, and I hope she understands me. ”
So they started talking about it. Although there were still some arguments along the way, I could see that they were at least trying to communicate and give in. I mediated in the middle, and in the end they promised to continue to work hard to see if they could resolve their differences and save the marriage.
I'm glad that we've made that progress. After that, I will continue to care about their situation and will give them appropriate help in their daily life. I believe that as long as both parties are willing, this marriage can still be saved. No matter what, I will do my duty as a father and fully support them through this difficult time to keep the family.
Time passed, and I continued to care about Xiao Wang and Xiao Li's situation. Although there are still some minor frictions along the way, they seem to be slowly repairing the relationship. One day, Xiao Li suddenly took the initiative to call me, and his tone was full of happiness: "Uncle, I want to tell you a piece of good news, we have decided to continue this marriage and cancel the divorce plan!"
When I heard the news, I was so happy that I couldn't stop talking: "Great! I know that the foundation of your relationship is still there, and as long as both parties work hard, they can solve the problem." That's great news!"
Xiao Li said: "Yes, uncle, we have really communicated well in the past month, and Wang Kai is also changing himself and giving me more space." I saw his change and hard work, so I decided to continue believing in this marriage. We'll work together. ”
"Great, Uncle is happiest to see you reconcile as before. If there's anything you need my help with, just let me know. I said excitedly.
"Thank you, uncle, you have been helping us this month, we are all grateful. Xiao Li said.
I nodded and said, "Son, you have made a very good choice. The relationship needs to be maintained by both parties, and you will be able to re-establish a good relationship. As a father, I will fully support you. ”
"Thank you, Dad, for your hard work during this time. Xiao Wang said.
I couldn't help but feel a lot of emotion when I saw them come back together. Through this storm, I have also learned a lot of the truth of being a father. I should not only be on my son's side, but also put myself in my daughter-in-law's shoes. Emotional problems need to be solved by both parties, and differences should be resolved with understanding and tolerance.
I believe that after this crisis, the relationship between Xiao Wang and Xiao Li will become stronger. I will continue to support them and help them through all kinds of difficulties. No matter what happens, we are family.
This experience has made me grow a lot. I am no longer a traditional father who only favors his son, but I have learned to care and understand my daughter-in-law's feelings. I will keep this lesson in mind and continue to strive to be a better father.