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My name is Zhang Yu, I am 54 years old and I have been widowed for 10 years. In the past 10 years, I have had a hard time, my children have settled abroad, and I live alone in this city. The loneliness and loneliness of day after day made me feel more and more that life lacked passion.
In order to have some fun, I decided to register with an agency that travels together, hoping to find like-minded friends. Yesterday, the agency introduced me to a subject, an uncle of the same age as me, named Li Jianguo. We decided to meet at the hotel today to have a good chat and see if it was a good fit.
"Auntie, are you Ms. Zhang Yu?" As soon as I walked into the hotel restaurant, I heard a male voice calling me. I looked up and saw a man in a neat suit looking at me with a smile and a bouquet of roses in his hand.
"Yes, hello, are you Mr. Li Jianguo?" I nodded nervously and reached out to shake his hand.
"It's me, it's the first time we've met, so please take care of me. It's a small gift for you. Mr. Li Jianguo handed me the bouquet with a smile on his face.
"Oops, you're so polite. I should have treated you to dinner. I was a little embarrassed, so I took the bouquet and sniffed it under my nose, "This rose smells so good." ”
"Come on, come on, let's find a place to sit down and talk. Mr. Li Jianguo pulled the waiter over and pulled out a chair for me, "What do you want to eat today?"
"I'll do it, you decide. I laughed. In fact, I am still a little nervous, after all, when I meet a stranger on a blind date, I will inevitably feel restrained.
The waiter ordered food for us and poured us red wine. I raised my glass and clinked glasses with Mr. Li Jianguo: "I wish us a happy chat today!"
"Cheers!" Mr. Li Jianguo also raised his glass, touched it with me, and drank it all. I took a sip of it, and the mellow liquid slid down my throat, and I felt a little more relaxed.
"Auntie, are you a local?" Mr. Li Jianguo asked.
"Yes, I was born and raised here. When I mentioned my hometown, I felt a little more comfortable and started talking to him, "What about you? Are you a local?"
"I'm also a local, but after I was widowed 10 years ago, I moved to live in the city next door. Now that the children have gone abroad, I don't feel bored by myself, so I go back to old age
"Yes, I'm the same, my daughter went to the United States, my son is in the United Kingdom, and I feel empty and lonely at home alone. At the mention of this, I couldn't help but sigh, and the smile on my face faded a little.
Mr. Li Jianguo thoughtfully patted my hand and said, "I understand Auntie's feelings. In fact, I am the same, living alone all day long, with no one to talk to, it is inevitable that life lacks fun. I think it's a fate to meet my aunt this time. ”
I listened to his words, and my heart warmed: "I think so too." Maybe we have experienced similar things and can better understand each other's feelings. I'm already very happy to be able to chat and talk about my heart today. ”
"Me too!Come on, let's have another drink!" Mr. Li Jianguo smiled and poured me some more red wine.
The two chatted while eating, and the atmosphere became more and more lively. Mr. Li Jianguo and I talked about our family and the bits and pieces of our youth. Before you know it, a bottle of red wine has bottomed out. I felt a little dizzy in my head and hot in my face.
"Auntie, you're blushing, are you drunk?" Mr. Li Jianguo laughed and teased me.
"Oh, it's not drunk, it's just a little dizzy. I waved my hand, a smile on my face that I hadn't seen in years, "I'm really happy today, thank you for chatting with me." ”
"I'm also very happy. Why don't we open another bottle?" Mr. Li Jianguo proposed.
"Okay!" I readily agreed, thinking that it would be okay to be happy if the child was not at home anyway.
"Auntie, why don't we open a room? You're so drunk, it's not convenient for me to send you home. Mr. Li Jianguo approached me and whispered.
My brain was hot, and I blurted out, "Okay, let's open the room!"
Mr. Li Jianguo immediately went to the front desk to open a room, and then helped me upstairs. I felt that the whole person was soft, leaning on his arms, and my heart was beating faster.
We stumbled into the room, and Mr. Li Jianguo gently laid me on the bed, and then climbed up himself
Mr. Li Jianguo gently stroked me, and I also took the initiative to respond to him. I haven't been in a position for a long time, and I've been longing for a long-lost intimacy.
"Auntie, can I?" Mr. Li Jianguo whispered in my ear.
The process that followed was both foreign and familiar to me. I felt like I was in the clouds, fluttering.
My brain was still in a hangover and my memory was a little blurry. At this time, I saw a letter next to my pillow that read "To Auntie".
I quickly opened the letter and read it:
"Dear Auntie,
I'm sorry I said goodbye. Last night was the best night of my life, and it was a blessing to meet you. But I know very well that this relationship will not be accepted by society, and I don't want to cause you trouble. Please forgive me for being selfish and make this a beautiful memory in our lives. I will always remember you.
Li Jianguo on "
After reading this letter, my heart could not be calmed for a long time. Mr. Li Jianguo left like this, and I didn't even have time to say goodbye to him.
Everything that happened last night flashed back to me over and over again. I don't know if this encounter is good or bad for me, it opens up my long-lost emotions, but at the same time, it also makes me feel the impermanence and loneliness of life.
I called the waiter, "Excuse me, when did Mr. Li leave?"
The waiter told me that Mr. Li left the room early in the morning. My heart was empty, and I finally couldn't say goodbye to him.
Is that what life is all about? I can't help but ask myself. Important people and things always pass by in a hurry, coming and going without a trace. In reality, there is no fairytale-like happy ending, only a helpless parting.
Maybe I shouldn't blame Li Jianguo for his decision. After knowing each other for a day, I will always be a stranger to him. He chose to leave because he wanted to give me a complete life.
This kind of encounter is like a flash in the pan, although it is beautiful but not long-lasting. It lit up my twilight life and opened my eyes to another possibility in life. That's enough to make me grateful.
Maybe I should volunteer and help more people in need. Use time to fill the emptiness and loneliness in your heart. This may be a new direction in my life.
Just as I was deep in thought, the phone in my room rang suddenly. I quickly picked it up: "Hey, hello. ”
"Ms. Zhang, I'm the front desk. Do I need to extend the use of the room?" On the other end of the line was the voice of the waiter.
"No, I checked out soon. I replied.
"Okay. Have a great trip. ”
I hung up and started packing. Somehow, I suddenly had the feeling of being left behind. I can't wait to leave this room and leave this memory behind.
When I checked out, the waiter asked me with concern: "Ms. Zhang, you stayed alone for one night, and you don't seem to be in a good mood today." How can we help?"
I barely managed to squeeze out a smile: "It's okay, I just have a little headache." You guys are very good, thank you. ”
"That's good. We will continue to provide excellent service as always. Have a great trip!"
I nodded and left the hotel with the small suitcase. The sun was shining on my body, and I felt a touch of warmth. Maybe I should go for a walk in the park and get some fresh air.
When I came to the park, I sat down on a bench and looked at the children playing on the lawn, and I couldn't help but feel that time had flown by. I can never go back to my youthful years.
"Comrade, sitting here alone, are you waiting for someone?" An old man's voice suddenly rang in my ears.
I turned my head to see an old man with gray hair standing beside me, looking at me kindly.
"Oh, no, I'm just walking alone. I replied.
"It's good to go for a walk alone, to be quiet. The old man sat down beside me, "My name is Uncle Wang, and I come here every morning to exercise and exercise. ”
"Hello uncle, my name is Zhang Yu. "I also put my name on it.
"Zhang Yu is a nice name! Look at you here alone, do you have something on your mind?" Uncle Wang asked with concern.
I smiled: "It's not a big deal, it's just that I feel that time flies so fast." When a person is old, he is lonely. ”
"Haha, I feel the same way!" Uncle Wang said, "My children have also gone abroad, and my wife and I know how to play cards and chat every day." You are still young, you can join a volunteer group and meet more friends!"
"You're right!" Uncle Wang's words struck me, "I'm planning to volunteer." Do you know of any good opportunities?"
Uncle Wang gave me a lot of advice, and I felt that I saw the dawn of hope.
Maybe it's time for me to let go of the past and start a new life.
I happily joined the volunteer association that Uncle Wang introduced. Everyone was very welcoming, and it made me feel like I wasn't fighting alone.
"Zhang Yu, welcome to join us!" Director Yang, the person in charge of the association, warmly shook hands with me, "We need a lot of caring people to join here, and your arrival has given us more motivation." ”
"Director, I'm glad to be one of you too. I will work hard to contribute to the city. I said.
"Very good, very good, we have a project to provide companionship for the elderly and a project to organize activities for the children in the orphanage, which project are you interested in joining?" Director Yang asked me.
I thought about it for a moment and said, "I want to do something for the elderly who lack companionship." I know what it's like to be lonely and hope to bring them a little warmth. ”
"That's great! We are short of people here to accompany some of the lonely elderly people who live in the community. I'll arrange a few for you first, you can go and have a look. "Director Yang arranged a job for me.
"Mother-in-law, I'm volunteer Zhang Yu, I heard that you haven't been in good health recently, I'll come to see you. "I came to Granny Lin's house with the fruit.
"Oh, someone has come to see me! Recently, my legs and feet have not been very good, and it has become a problem to buy groceries and cook. Granny Lin happily beckoned me to sit down.
"Mother-in-law, don't worry about it, I'll come to help you cook and buy groceries when I have time in the future. Our volunteers will visit you regularly. I said.
"Thank you so much! I don't feel lonely when I have someone to talk to. Granny Lin said.
I started visiting Granny Lin regularly, chatting, cooking, and shopping with her. Granny Lin always said that I was like her relatives, and I also regarded her as family.
I also visit other elderly people who live alone, talk to them, and listen to their stories. It makes me feel like I am needed and that my presence can brighten the lives of others.
Volunteering has helped me find meaning in life. It fills the emptiness inside me and gives me a sense of satisfaction. I also made a lot of like-minded friends.
"Sister Yu, on the weekend, our volunteer association organizes a spring outing, let's go to the suburbs together. "My friend Li Mei called me to invite me.
"Well, I haven't been out for a walk in a long time. I happily agreed.
On the weekend, we took a chartered bus to a scenic spot in the suburbs. Everyone invited friends, chatted and played cards, and the atmosphere was warm and joyful. I also got in and felt a joy that I hadn't felt in a long time.
"Sister Yu, come and play cards with us!" Li Mei greeted me.
"Okay, but my card skills are relatively bad, you guys beat me lightly!" I said with a smile.
"Haha, we're just playing, not gambling. Li Mei also laughed.
I joined their hands. Even though my poker skills are terrible, it's fun to play and chat with everyone. It's been a long time since I've been happier than I am now.
"Sister Yu, you've been coming to our association for a while, do you still feel comfortable?" Li Mei asked me with concern.
"I'm very adaptable and happy! You guys are like a big family, and I don't feel like I'm alone. I said.
Actually, we all had similar experiences, but now with everyone's support, life has become more colorful. Li Mei said.
I nodded, grateful for the company of Li Mei and the other friends. With them, I feel like I've been given a new lease on life.
We played in the suburbs until it was dark before we left and returned to the city. It was my happiest day in a long time.
When I got home, I decided to give my daughter a call and share with her about her recent life.
"Hey, Mom, how are you doing?" Her daughter's voice came from the other end of the phone.
"I'm doing a good job, and I've been volunteering lately, and I've had a fulfilling life and made a lot of friends. I said happily.
"Great, Mom, I'm relieved to hear your voice so happy. I've always worried that you'll be lonely living alone. The daughter said.
"It used to be lonely, but not anymore. Volunteering has given me a new meaning in life and made me feel worthwhile. I said.
"Mom, you've always been valuable. I am so proud of you and I hope you continue to live happily. ”
"Thank you, daughter. I will continue to be positive. ”
Hanging up, I felt like the happiest person in the world. I have rediscovered the meaning of life and the people I feel warm.