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My name is Li Xiaofang, I am 40 years old and I am a secondary school Chinese teacher. Marriage has always been a knot in my heart, and I divorced at the age of 35 and am still single.
My friend Xiao Wang often advised me to remarry as soon as possible, and although I was perfunctory on the surface, I also longed for a partner in my heart. Last week, Xiao Wang suddenly called me to tell me that she introduced me to a blind date, a colleague from her company, named Zhang Qiang, 35 years old this year.
"Zhang Qiangren is very good, his appearance conditions are good, and the most important thing is that he also wants to get married. "Xiao Wang has repeatedly recommended Zhang Qiang to me.
I didn't have much hope for this blind date at first, after all, would a 35-year-old man take a fancy to me, a 40-year-old leftover girl? But after thinking about it, I felt that there was nothing wrong with meeting and trying my luck, so I agreed to meet Zhang Qiang.
I rubbed my hands nervously, wondering how I was going to introduce myself, a 40-year-old divorced woman who didn't feel competitive at all. Should I be more proactive or should I be more reserved? Should I ask the other person about the situation first? All kinds of questions swirled in my mind.
"Li Xiaofang?" Suddenly, a male voice rang in my ears, and I looked back to see a man in a white shirt standing in front of me.
"Hello, I'm Zhang Qiang. The man smiled and held out his hand.
I hurriedly stood up and responded with a smile: "Hello, hello, I am Li Xiaofang." You may be seated, please be seated. ”
Zhang Qiang looks good, with good facial features and a well-proportioned figure, he looks like a white-collar worker who came out of a TV series. I secretly breathed a sigh of relief, at least the other party's appearance conditions did not disappoint me.
Zhang Qiang sat down across from me, and the waiter came up and brought him a cup of coffee. I took a sip of the latte, and Zhang Qiang looked at the menu and said, "Why don't we order something to eat?" ”
"Okay, come on, I'm not too hungry. I replied.
I listened quietly to Zhang Qiang talking about his situation and praised his career and salary level. It seems that Xiao Wang is right, this is indeed a good blind date.
At this moment, Zhang Qiang's tone became more serious: "However, I have my own requirements for marriage partners. I think it's better for girls to get married and have children before the age of 30, and it's not suitable after 30. You say, don't you?"
As soon as I heard Zhang Qiang's words, the alarm bell suddenly sounded in my heart. He doesn't like it, a 40-year-old leftover girl, in his eyes, she must be completely unqualified.
But I was polite and smiled and said, "Oh? That's an interesting idea." I don't think there should be too many restrictions on the age at which a girl can get married, and the most important thing is to find the right person. ”
"No, no, no, you're idealistic. Zhang Qiang put down his fork and said seriously, "After a woman reaches the age of 30, her physical condition will get worse and worse, and her fertility will decline a lot." It is safer to get married and have children early. ”
I was a little annoyed, and my tone couldn't help but aggravate: "Having a child does depend on your physical condition, but getting married is not just about having children. Wouldn't it be better to find the right person and support each other?"
"I understand what you're saying, but let's face it. Zhang Qiang did not budge, "It is a fact that women are less and less popular after 30, this is a fact." So it's better to get married early. ”
I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down: "Zhang Qiang, I think your thinking is a bit extreme. Human life is very long, and age should not be used to divide suitable and inappropriate. I believe that as long as two people understand each other, age is not an issue. ”
"Haha, you're really an idealist. Zhang Qiang smiled, "You don't want to think about it, would a normal man be willing to marry a 40-year-old girl? ”
I couldn't contain my anger anymore and was about to flare up when the waiter brought the cake just right.
"Use it slowly, please use it. The waiter said courteously.
Zhang Qiang and I both closed our mouths and lowered our heads in embarrassment to eat the cake.
In this way, we talked for a while. Zhang Qiang still goes his own way, insisting that women should get married and have children before the age of 30, otherwise they will lose their competitiveness. And I didn't back down, refuting that his views were extremely conservative.
The two of them argued back and forth, and the atmosphere was obviously a little rigid. After eating, Zhang Qiang wiped his mouth, looked at me and said, "Forget it, don't be angry." I'll tell you the truth, you're 40 years old, and it's really not suitable for you to get married and have children. If you want to get married, you will also provide for your old age, what do you say?"
When I heard this, I was furious: "Zhang Qiang, what do you mean by this? Do you look down on a 40-year-old woman? Let me tell you, getting married and having children is a matter of two people, and it has nothing to do with you!"
"Okay, you Li Xiaofang, don't get excited. Zhang Qiang put on a flattering smile, "I also have good intentions, are you so reactive?"
"You're insulting a single woman!" I lowered my voice and roared, "Do you think that a woman is worthless after 30?
"Okay, okay, you're right. Zhang Qiang said impatiently, "But you also have to face reality, how can anyone look at your age?"
"You!" I was furious and took the case, "Zhang Qiang, who do you think you are? Why do you judge women like this? It was a mistake for me to go on a blind date with you today!"
With that, I grabbed my bag and turned around and left. Zhang Qiang shouted a few times behind me, and I rushed out without looking back.
As soon as I left the café, I regretted my impulsiveness. Although Zhang Qiang's words were slanderous, I shouldn't be mad on the spot. This trouble, it is estimated that this fate will come to an end.
I walked slowly down the street by myself to a nearby park, where I sat down on a bench and tried to calm down.
Zhang Qiang's words just now undoubtedly stung me. A 40-year-old divorced woman is indeed in a weak position in the marriage market. But that doesn't mean I deserve to be so humiliated.
When I think of this, I can't help but think back to my failed marriage. Indeed, I had a lot of problems in that marriage, I had a straightforward personality, and I often disagreed with my ex-husband and failed to be considerate of each other, which was also one of the reasons for the divorce.
Thinking about it this way, there may be some truth in what Zhang Qiang said? If I had been more docile at that time, would the marriage have been maintained?
I sighed, feeling the need to reflect as well. Maybe I shouldn't have treated Zhang Qiang with such strong emotions. In a relationship, mutual understanding is the most important thing.
Thinking about this, I decided to call Zhang Qiang and apologize properly. So, I took out my phone, found his number, and pressed the call button.
"Hey, hello. Zhang Qiang's voice came from the earpiece.
"Zhang Qiang, it's me, Li Xiaofang. I hesitated, "I want to apologize for what just happened, I shouldn't have been so excited and caused you trouble." ”
There was silence on the other end of the phone for a few seconds, and then Zhang Qiang said: "Actually, I also have something wrong, I shouldn't casually say that your age is not appropriate or something." It's my bad attitude, and I'm so grateful if you can forgive me. ”
I breathed a sigh of relief and felt that Zhang Qiang was still a good person. So I said, "Why don't we find a time to have a good chat?" Blind dates are meant to know more about each other, and I still want to give you another chance. ”
"Okay. Zhang Qiang also seemed to be relieved, "Then let's talk again, I'll invite you to dinner and compensate you." ”
After making an appointment with Zhang Qiang on the phone, I came to the restaurant in advance with mixed feelings.
This time, I will communicate with Zhang Qiang about his previous remarks. I believe that as long as we understand each other with our hearts, we can resolve misunderstandings.
"Mr. Li, I'm sorry to keep you waiting. Zhang Qiang walked in in a formal suit.
"Zhang Qiang, if you're here, I'll be here for a while. I smiled and said hello.
Zhang Qiang sat down opposite me and said with a little embarrassment: "I said something heavy last time, don't take it to heart." ”
"Zhang Qiang, I want to ask you a serious question, why do you attach so much importance to women's age?" I looked him in the eye and asked sincerely.
Zhang Qiang sighed: "Maybe it's influenced by the family." My mom often said that girls should find a good home as soon as possible while they are young, otherwise it will be too late. This notion has influenced me subtly. ”
I nodded: "I understand the impact of homeschooling, but I also want you to look at this objectively." A woman's value should not be determined only by her age, her experience and personality are all important. ”
"You're right. Zhang Qiang said seriously: "My traditional concept should really be changed." Everyone has their own way of life, and I shouldn't hold others to my own standards. ”
Looking at Zhang Qiang with satisfaction, he was able to reflect on himself, which made me look at him with admiration.
"Zhang Qiang, I appreciate that you are able to recognize your mistakes. I said with a smile.
"Thanks to you, Mr. Li. Zhang Qiang also smiled, "You made me realize that I shouldn't use my preconceived notions to demand from others." Each one has its own characteristics and values. ”
I nodded and said, "Yes, age is important, but life is worth so much more than that." I shouldn't have lost control of my emotions and overreacted because of your remarks. ”
"Teacher Li, your reaction is normal. Zhang Qiang hurriedly said, "I will judge it first, it is normal for you to be angry." ”
"Haha, we're all at fault. I smiled, "The important thing is to tolerate and understand each other, and to hone in on differences, which is the key to getting along for a long time." ”
Zhang Qiang looked at me seriously: "Mr. Li, today's exchange has benefited me a lot. Not only are you beautiful on the outside, but you are also beautiful on the inside. I'm really glad I met you. ”
I was a little embarrassed and blushed: "That's because you also have a kind and tolerant heart." I'm optimistic about you and hope you can find the right other half. ”
"Thank you, Mr. Li. I also wish you from the bottom of my heart that you find true love. Zhang Qiang said sincerely.
This exchange allowed me to see the maturity of Zhang Qiang's heart. After the initial prejudice was removed, I also found out that he really wanted to get married.
"Zhang Qiang, although you and I may not be a good match, I think you will definitely find true love. I encouraged.
"Thank you. I'm going to keep trying. Zhang Qiang smiled.
In this way, this somewhat awkward blind date ended in reconciliation. The initial misunderstanding was resolved, and I also gained a new understanding.
This blind date experience made me understand that marriage requires mutual understanding and tolerance. I don't give up looking for happiness just because I fail. Believe in sticking to yourself, and love will eventually knock on the door.
After breaking up with Zhang Qiang, I walked slowly on the way home alone.
This blind date experience gave me a lot of insights. It is true that age can bring certain difficulties to marriage, but it is not the only criterion that determines a person's worth. As long as two hearts can understand and tolerate each other, love can overcome these difficulties.
I can't help but think back to my ex-husband Wang Jun. Our marriage ended in divorce, and I had some personality problems.
"Li Xiaofang, why are you always so strong, can't you listen to what I say?" Wang Jun once said this to me.
At that time, I was forceful: "I'm thinking about my family, you don't understand!"
Now that I think about it, I should have listened more to Wang Jun's ideas instead of blindly doing things my own way. If I had been considerate and docile at the time, maybe the marriage would have lasted.
However, self-reliance has always been my personality. I also feel pain if I go against myself in order to please others.
I sighed and understood that finding balance in a marriage is really hard. I can't become another version of myself, and Wang Jun can't fully adapt to my personality.
To love someone is to tolerate her truest side. This time, I will approach feelings with a more open mind.
When I walked into the house, I suddenly wanted to call Xiao Wang and tell her about the blind date.
"Hey, Li Xiaofang, how is it? Xiao Wang's voice came.
I smiled and said, "Although Zhang Qiang and I have different concepts, through communication, we resolved the misunderstanding and finally broke up peacefully." ”
"Huh, broke up?" Xiao Wang was a little surprised.
"Our age gap is a bit big. "But this blind date has taught me valuable lessons, and I'm grateful to you for giving me this opportunity." ”
"That's good, as long as you're happy. Xiao Wang said, "I will continue to help you find a partner, and I will definitely find the most suitable person for you!"
"Thank you, Xiao Wang. I said gratefully.
When I hung up, my heart was filled with hope. On the road to happiness, I will move forward step by step until I meet him who is destined for me.