My girlfriend often came to my house to play, and one day she squatted down to tie her shoes, and my mother-in-law said, "Daughter-in-law, don't let her come."
When I talk about my hometown, I always have mixed feelings. My hometown is where I grew up, and there are many familiar faces and fond memories of me, but it is also full of things that bother and make me uncomfortable.
When I was a child, my neighbors were close friends who helped each other and got along well. But slowly, some family conflicts gradually surfaced. In particular, the relationship between my mother-in-law and my best friend bothered me.
My mother-in-law has always played an important role in the family, presiding over the housework and taking care of our family. However, her attitude towards her girlfriends has always been unfriendly. My girlfriend and I often get together at my house to chat and play together, but every time my mother-in-law shows impatience. Once, when my best friend squatted down to tie her shoes, her mother-in-law actually said, "Daughter-in-law, don't let her come." I knew that my mother-in-law was unhappy with my best friend, but I didn't think she had the right to treat my friend like that.
However, I really don't know how to solve this awkward situation. My best friend has been my confidant for many years, we support each other and encourage each other, and she holds a very special place in my heart. And my mother-in-law is my relative, and I don't want to cause more conflicts in the family. However, it is clear that this situation cannot be sustained, and I must find a solution.
So, I decided to be honest with my mother-in-law, hoping that she would understand the friendship between me and my girlfriend. I sat down with my mother-in-law and had a good conversation, and I explained to her how important my friendship with my girlfriend was, and I wanted her to respect my choice. However, my mother-in-law seemed very stubborn, and even said angrily: "You are not sensible, how can you think of many outsiders?" This sentence made me feel very powerless, obviously trying to solve the problem, but in the end it became more troublesome.
I felt as if I was struggling in a corner. I was afraid of losing my best friend and of breaking the harmony of my family. I'm really conflicted, I don't know what to do.
Just as I was agonizing over how to deal with this contradiction, a new paradox arose one after another.
My mother-in-law's younger brother had some accidents at home and needed outside help. So when I was getting together with my girlfriend, my mother-in-law suddenly asked me to temporarily receive my mother-in-law's brother's family. It was a big test for me, and I didn't know if I would be able to accept my mother-in-law's younger brother's family as well. But at the same time, I also knew that if I refused, it would not only hurt my mother-in-law, but also make the relationship between me and my girlfriend even more awkward.
So I hesitated for a long time and decided to discuss it with my girlfriend. When I asked my girlfriend this tricky question, she nodded without hesitation and offered to help. She said that she understood the situation and understood my responsibility to the family, and that she would understand my situation and support my decision. Her words made me feel a touch of warmth, as if I had found a hint of comfort in this conflicting family environment.
Of course, I still know that accepting my mother-in-law's younger brother's family can be a huge pressure and challenge for me. And I still think in my heart that my mother-in-law's attitude towards my girlfriend actually comes more from the discharge of her family conflicts, but at the same time, I also understand that girlfriends should not be a tool for mother-in-law to relieve emotions.
Maybe because of this, I didn't show too much hesitation and entanglement in front of my girlfriend, but chose to tell her that we had a guest temporarily, and I hope she can understand. The girlfriend thought about it, then smiled and said, "No problem, I can understand, don't worry." ”
Despite my best friend's calmness, I know that my friendship with her has not been compromised in any way, not only because we love each other deeply, but also because we understand that family things are sometimes not easy.
I decided to talk to my girlfriend so that she could understand my family's situation. When I disclosed to her the conflict between me and my mother-in-law, she showed understanding and support, and she said that she was willing to give me strength and help when I faced family conflicts.
However, this did not ease the situation. Not long after, at a family dinner, due to some trivial matters, my mother-in-law and my best friend had a fierce quarrel. This made me feel very embarrassed, and I really didn't know how to resolve the conflict between them. The mother-in-law said indignantly: "I just don't like her, I don't want her to come to our house, how can you, as my daughter, not listen to me?"
The whole family fell into embarrassment and silence as a result. I felt the anger and grievances on both sides, and I also felt that I was powerless. I even began to wonder if my friendship with my girlfriend was worth offending and hurting my family in this way. Why can't these two most important people in my life live in peace?
I felt like I was being put in a dilemma, as if whatever choice I made would hurt one of them. I hope that my family can be understanding and tolerant, and that we can live in harmony. But the reality made me feel powerless.
I tried to clear my mind and try to find a solution to the problem. However, just when I was hesitating, the conflict between my mother-in-law and my best friend seemed to intensify.
Once, when we were having dinner as a family, my girlfriend and I were talking and laughing, and I accidentally spilled soup on the tablecloth. The mother-in-law was already a little displeased, but she was even more straight when she saw this. I hurriedly apologized and was about to get a rag to wipe it, but my mother-in-law stopped me: "You don't have to wipe it, your friend got it, let her get it herself." I was embarrassed and angry by these words, and I don't know why my mother-in-law became so mean. While I understand her feelings about her girlfriends, I don't think that makes sense. I was distraught and felt the whole family feel tense.
More and more, I felt that I was in a dilemma, and it seemed as if I had to give up my best friend in order to maintain the harmony of my family. But I really can't bear it. I tried to explain my family's situation to my girlfriend and hoped she would understand. However, the best friend was very resolute, "If your family doesn't like me, then I'd better go to your house less, I don't want to cause trouble to your family." "Her words made me feel sad, I wanted to maintain a balance between my family and my girlfriends, but I couldn't.
I was overwhelmed and wandered between this contradiction. I can't help but reflect on the relationship between the warmth and contradictions of the family, I originally thought that the family was a warm harbor, but I found that it was full of contradictions that are difficult to resolve. I don't know where I'm going to go, I just want to find a solution that satisfies me and the people around me.
I sat in front of my family again, with a heavy heart. I wanted to resolve this long-standing family conflict, but every attempt seemed to end in failure. The contradictions between my mother-in-law and my best friend have not been alleviated by my painstaking persuasion, on the contrary, they seem to have become more acute.
At a family dinner, the situation became even more awkward. The mother-in-law and the best friend unexpectedly had a conflict, and the reason turned out to be that the best friend accidentally knocked over the dish carefully prepared by the mother-in-law. Although it was an unintentional mistake, her mother-in-law kept blaming her, accusing her of not knowing how to respect her elders, and saying some excessive things that hurt her very much.
I felt very embarrassed, I wanted my family to be harmonious, but I had to stand on my best friend's side and support her. However, the mother-in-law seems unwilling to compromise, and she insists that it is the girlfriend's problem, which further deepens the conflict within the family.
The incident was not resolved satisfactorily, and I felt as if I was stuck in a quagmire from which there was no way out. I don't know what to do.