Yesterday, I experienced an unprecedented challenge.
My son spent 20,000 yuan to invite me to travel. We got on the high-speed train and were in a very happy mood. However, when I saw the box lunch that my daughter-in-law bought for us, I suddenly felt a chill in my heart.
The lunch box was only worth 20 yuan, and our travel expenses were all paid by our son. I felt an embarrassment that I had never felt before. I don't know how to face this reality, whether to thank my daughter-in-law for her frugality, or to blame her for being stingy.
I tried my best not to magnify it, and I thought I could choose not to care about a meal, but for some reason, I couldn't calm down.
We arrived at our destination for the day and found the hotel that was booked. The environment of the hotel is very nice and my son also took us to a lot of interesting places. However, no matter how hard I tried, from the bottom of my heart, I couldn't let go, I always felt that I was underestimated by my daughter-in-law, and I, as a mother, was treated undeservedly.
On the way back, we got on the high-speed train again. However, this time the mood was completely different from when I came. Everything on the high-speed train made me feel unusually unhappy. I don't know if I should have a showdown with my daughter-in-law, but this showdown will affect my relationship with my children's family. It's a difficulty I've never faced.
Although we didn't talk about it on the surface, I couldn't let go of my mind. I don't know if I'm overthinking it, but it's always in my heart. I began to regret agreeing to the trip in the first place, and I began to realize how big the generation gap between me and the younger generation was.
I couldn't let go of my heart. I don't know how I'm going to undo it. My whole mood became unusually low. This trip was supposed to relax and have a good time, but it became a heavy mood because of this event.
I started to feel guilty that I was thinking too much, but I felt that I was not wrong. My heart was in a state of conflict.
Suddenly, the phone rang, and it was a call from my sister from my hometown. She told me that my father was hospitalized because of his illness and that he needed me to go back immediately. I was stunned, I didn't notice anything unwell with my father. "I'll go back. "I hurriedly hung up the phone, told my son and daughter-in-law about the father's situation, and then hurriedly packed up and left.
I returned to my hometown with a heavy heart. My father was lying on the hospital bed, and the thin appearance made my heart ache. My sister told me that my father had a heart attack because he had been reluctant to tell us the children about his physical condition. I felt deeply guilty about my father's illness. I began to alienate my children because of a boxed lunch, which made the already delicate family relationship even worse.
In the days of caring for my father, I began to reflect on my own actions. Or maybe it was because of my excessive worries and expectations for the children that led to this conflict. Maybe I should be aware that there is a problem with my communication with the younger generation and look for a way to solve it, rather than let it worse.
During this time, my relationship with my son and daughter-in-law has changed. They would call every day to ask about their father and say they would like to come and take care of him as soon as possible. I also started to reach out to them, expressing my concerns about the trip and my worries about them.
My father's condition gradually improved, and his emotions began to calm down. After this family crisis, the distance between me and my children seems to have narrowed. Maybe the appearance of the contradiction is not important, what matters is the communication between our hearts. I deeply understand that conflicts in the family are not terrible, but the important thing is to find solutions to problems through rational and emotional communication. I decided that when I went back, I would have a good talk with the kids. I believe that this will all be better.
I started to feel guilty that I was thinking too much, but I felt that I was not wrong. My heart was in a state of conflict.
When I got home, I was stuck in deep thought. And just then, another thing happened that upset me.
My son put down the package and said to me, "Mom and Dad, I have something to discuss with you. ”
My daughter-in-law and I looked at him expectantly.
"My daughter-in-law is pregnant, and we plan to have a baby. ”
The news was still a bit sudden to me. I saw my daughter-in-law's face full of joy, while I was caught in a deeper conflict. I should have been happy, but my heart was very complicated. I should be a happy grandfather for my future children, but I need time to accept this fact now.
My son's eyes were firmly fixed on me, as if waiting for my reply. I desperately suppressed the contradictions in my heart. I didn't know what I was supposed to do, and in the face of my son's expectations, I felt like I wasn't even a good father.
"If you young people want it, we don't have a problem. My wife helped me play the round.
My son looked at me with a somewhat complicated expression on his face.
At this moment, the phone rang. It was my sister from afar, and her voice revealed a bit of anxiety.
"Big brother, something happened at home, I need you to come back and see. ”
Hearing her eager tone, I was faintly nervous. I said to my son, "I have to go back to my hometown, there is something to do, you can rest by yourself." ”
I hurriedly packed my bags, said goodbye to my son and daughter-in-law, and set out on the way back to my hometown. Along the way, my mind was in turmoil. I went home this time, not only because of my sister's phone call, but also because of my inner entanglement and unrelieved contradictions.
When the car finally drove to my hometown, I looked at the familiar scenery with mixed feelings. When I walked into the house, I saw a familiar face, and my mother was much older. At this moment, it was the first time since I left that I had seen her face so closely, and I seemed to see the traces of time on her face.
My sister briefly described to me what was happening at home, and I understood what it was like for my mother to be alone in her hometown. My heart ached. Just as I was distraught, my mother's soft voice interrupted my thoughts.
"Kid, you're here. My mother smiled and beckoned me to sit down, her tone showing love.
I felt an indescribable mixture of emotions, I felt sorry for my mother's hard work alone, and I felt sorry for my son and daughter-in-law, as well as the child who was about to be born.
The contradictions in my heart cannot be relieved, like a thorn pierced in the bottom of my heart, which makes me unable to extricate myself. I felt helpless and a lack of responsibility.
At this moment, the scene of reuniting with my family did not calm my mind, but made my sense of responsibility for my family even heavier. Such a deep contradiction has left me in an endless tangle.
After arriving at home, I tried to suppress my depression and dissatisfaction, and tried to have a long talk with my daughter-in-law from the bottom of my heart. But just as I was about to speak, my son suddenly announced the unexpected news from his home - they had decided to move out of the apartment we were living in and rent a house of their own. When I heard the news, it was like a blow to my heart, and I couldn't understand why they did it. It all came so suddenly, I felt a little flustered.
In the description of the son and daughter-in-law, they believe that this will allow them to have more personal space and freedom. But to me, it was undoubtedly like an invisible barrier, and endless loss and sadness welled up in my heart. How am I going to deal with this change? I don't understand what they're going to do to solve it.
This incident made me feel more and more that there is a huge generation gap between me and the younger generation. I began to wonder if I had inadvertently made a mistake that led to this situation. I was afraid that I had lost my child, but at the same time I was worried that if I actively showed anxiety and worry, it would make them feel like I was interfering in their lives.
This kind of psychological struggle makes me feel tired, and worries and confusion about the future arise spontaneously. I don't know what I'm going to do to find myself a proper perspective on this matter. Maybe I shouldn't interfere too much with their choices, after all, my son has grown up and has the right to make his own ideas and decisions.
I began to realize that it was not just a conflict brought about by a trip, but also a concrete manifestation of the long-standing conflicts and disputes between our families. Perhaps, I can have a deep reflection and adjustment on our relationship and communication style while smoothing out this conflict.
Now, I am willing to calm down, listen to their voices, and respect their choices. I know that conflicts between families can only be resolved through communication and tolerance. Perhaps, this is a challenge, but also an opportunity for growth. I will try to constantly adjust myself and build a more equal and respectful relationship with them.
Many days passed, but the conflict in my heart never dissipated. All the seemingly insignificant details stirred up waves in my heart. Every time I communicate with my daughter-in-law, I have an indescribable awkwardness in my heart.
A month later, I had my birthday. I didn't expect any big surprises from the children, but I hope they remember to give me a gift to show their love and respect for me. However, on their birthday, they did not mention any gifts, not even a word of blessing. I felt very disappointed and my heart was even heavier.
That night, I was lying in bed in a low mood, and my son came to me with concern to ask me what was wrong, and I was in no mood to hide it anymore, and told him all the dissatisfaction in my heart. The son said a little disapprehantly: "Mom, isn't this just a trivial matter, why should you embarrass yourself?"
I didn't expect my children to give me any expensive gifts, but I wanted them to treat me with care and love. I began to blame my son, feeling that he lacked the motherly affection he deserved in some things. Our argument reached an impasse, and my son and I stood our ground. My mood was even lower.
These arguments made me realize that there were far more conflicts between me and my family than I had imagined. I was hiding more and more grievances in my heart, and I didn't know how to resolve them. This quarrel made me realize that the problems between me and my family are far from being solved by one or two trips. I need more time to repair these broken relationships.
I lay in bed and thought about the past. I don't know if this is the mentality of the elderly, who always keep trivial things firmly in their hearts and can't let go. But I understand that only communication and understanding between me and my family is the most important thing. I started thinking about how I could re-establish communication with my family and resolve the conflict between us.
I don't know where our relationship is going, I just know that I need to face and solve these problems. Only in this way can we come together again and build a more harmonious and happy family.