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Sentence | 小昕
Editor|Xiaoxin
Preface
"The tree wants to be quiet but the wind does not stop, and the child wants to raise but does not wait"
Nowadays, the mainland has gradually entered an aging population, and people are middle-aged, with old people and young people, and the pressure is very great.
Some people, because of the pressure of life, often focus on their small family and neglect the parents who gave birth to them.
There are also some people who think they are very filial and do a lot for their parents, but in fact they are "useless".
Let's take a look, what are the so-called "reverse filial piety"?
"Busy"
In many small counties in China, this is often the case, where many left-behind elderly people are at home and their children go out to work.
Some even have left-behind children, allowing the elderly to take care of their children every day.
But time is a "pig killing knife", and the parents' bodies are gradually aging, and they are no longer able to take care of themselves as well as before.
But the love of parents is great, they feel sorry for their children, it is not easy to go outside, and they dare not disturb, so they can only swallow the difficulties in their stomachs.
I believe that when many people call their parents, things at home are always "good news", not worries.
It may be on the phone, saying that you should eat well, don't be frugal, and pay attention to your body at home.
In fact, these are empty words, some people will say, I send money home on time every month, and I work outside the home to give my parents a better life.
Does such a "good" life really make parents feel warm and happy?
At the end of the year, only when it is the New Year, I go home to see, and it doesn't matter how big or small my parents are.
There are also some parents who have been frugal all their lives and so-called give enough money, but in fact they don't spend much at all, all of them are saving for their children.
And parents who are accustomed to living a hard life, their children are not around, they are very insecure, they are very proud of their children, and they give more money, they will feel that their children give most of their wages to the family, and silently save the money for the children's unexpected needs.
At the age of their parents, they will not ask for special requirements if they have money or not, or how much money they have.
Think about it from another perspective, the material needs of parents are very small, and the so-called giving money is filial piety, but it is just a pretext to comfort yourself for "unfilial piety".
What parents need more is that you often go home to see, take your parents out for a walk on holidays, you can see the spring flowers, you can feel the golden color of autumn, you can enjoy the coolness of summer, and you can also see the warm sun of winter.
They want very little, but many people feel that it is a burden, parents when their children are young, why not make food for their children after work every day, and take their children to the park to play during the holidays.
So why, when parents need their children, they always use "busy" as an excuse and "money" as a measure?
Electronic accompaniment
With the development of science and technology, the emergence and popularization of smart phones have become the appearance of the public.
In order to give themselves peace of mind, many children will equip their parents with a smartphone to facilitate communication with their parents and play videos.
But many people don't think that for parents, smart phones are very complex devices, and their memory is slowly deteriorating with age, and it is difficult to remember things.
Some children buy smart phones, give them to their parents and don't teach them how to use them, or teach them a few times very impatiently, but they can't do it.
And there are a lot of garbage pop-ups, and it's easy for parents to click on the wrong ones and not be able to get out.
But the children think that it is not enough to buy high-tech products for their parents and spend thousands of dollars?
Although we live and learn from old age, this sentence must also be decided according to the objective facts.
For elderly parents, there is an imbalance in the education they received since childhood, some of them have advanced knowledge although their parents are old, they can easily learn how to use mobile phones, and they do learn old knowledge.
But there are also some parents, because of the poverty of their original family, they have many brothers and sisters, when they are young
They have not received knowledge education, and their learning ability Xi is very poor, and it seems that in this world, they have been eliminated by the times.
But as children, they are the biggest support for elderly parents. Now we can see such prosperity
Sheng's motherland, being able to see the great rivers and mountains, is only because it is on the shoulders of his parents, so that he can see so broadly.
If they do not live for themselves in their lives, then their children need to do their best to support them.
Parents don't need to learn smartphones, nor do they need electronic companionship, what they really need is the care and love of their children, and the sense of security that their children give them in their old age.
Some children who go out to work are very irritable when they go home for the New Year every year, and they seem to be going home for the New Year, but in fact they are not accompanied at all.
Holding the mobile phone on the sofa, I don't know what I am "busy with", or I feel bored at home, run out to party with friends and have fun, sleep until three o'clock in the morning, and disappear after eating at noon.
This is a great harm to parents, because they are older, they dare not have any requirements for their children, and they dare not complain, but such a cold state will make them feel unneeded and hurt in their hearts.
Children who have been away from home for a long time, you must know that your parents have too much to say to you, don't dislike your parents' nagging, and listen carefully to your parents' complaints, which is a kind of filial piety.
Take turns to retire
Maybe the post-90s and post-00s will not take turns to support the elderly, but for the post-60s, they have many brothers and sisters, and the eldest child and the youngest child can be more than 20 years apart.
In old age, there will be an uncomfortable situation, the question of who should support the elderly.
At this time, the children simply regarded the old man as a big trouble, a big burden, and they had to be fairly distributed and supported in turn.
So the old man is like a commodity, being moved around by several families, and it is unspeakably miserable.
No matter where you go, you have to look at the color of your eyes, look at your son-in-law's eyes at your daughter's house, and look at your daughter-in-law's eyes at your son's house.
It seems to be very beautiful, as if the children are scrambling to raise, but in fact, only they know the suffering.
And it's okay to be in one place, some children are in various places, the elderly have to adapt to different environments and living Xi every time they go to a family, and strong parents will not say it directly, and have been forbearing.
Of course, this kind of rotation for the elderly is not all disadvantages, some families have children are very filial, will vacate a room for their parents, and let the elderly live in the past.
epilogue
Always go home to see, parents need the company of their children, not material compensation, even if they are busy, call their parents more, accompany their parents during the holidays, don't wait for their parents to die of old age, and then regret it!
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