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My name is Zhang Yulan, I am 47 years old and I am a secondary school Chinese teacher. I have been single for many years, and my family is very anxious, and always introduces men to me on blind dates. I wanted to get married myself, but I never met the right person.
That was until my sister introduced me to Ma Dashan, a 53-year-old bachelor. My sister said: "Dashan people are very good, they have houses and cars, and the conditions are good. You're the same age, just right!"
At first, I didn't expect much from this man who was 6 years older than me, but after meeting him a few times, I felt that he was really good, stable and mature, and he was very good to me. So, I agreed to marry him.
We had a simple wedding and invited two families and friends. At the wedding, I was wearing a red wedding dress, and Ma Dashan was wearing a black suit, which looked very handsome. In his speech, he said: "Magnolia, I will be good to you and make you happy. "I was moved to tears, too.
After I got married, I quit my job and stayed at home full-time. At first, our life was very sweet, Ma Dashan would often buy flowers for me, and take me out to play on weekends.
One day, Ma Dashan threw dirty clothes in the room, and I was very dissatisfied when I saw it: "Why are you like this, clothes are littered all over the ground!"
Ma Dashan disagreed: "It's not going out, you wear it casually at home, why do you care so much?"
I was angry, and felt that he didn't take me seriously at all: "I am your wife, you should respect me and tidy up the house, this is related to our hygiene! I worked hard to take care of it, and you just threw it around, it's too unpleasant!"
Ma Dashan also lost his temper and said loudly: "I am such a character, didn't you know it before I got married? What's the use of regretting it now! I paid for this house, and I can live as I want!"
This argument made me very sad, I thought Ma Dashan would change himself, but he didn't care about my feelings at all.
Later, there were several similar quarrels, and Ma Dashan always went his own way and did not listen to my advice at all. For example, when I asked Ma Dashan not to smoke all the time, he said: "My own body, I can smoke if I want, what does it have to do with you!"
I was angry and asked him, "Won't you change this bad Xi for me?"
Ma Dashan ridiculed him: "How good are you? I often spend money on brand-name cosmetics, make a mess of my room, and I don't want to think about the expenses at home!"
I was speechless, but I was very unbalanced. It's obvious that he's not good, so why do you blame me in turn?
Gradually, the differences between us grew. Ma Dashan knows how to drink and watch TV all day long, and never accompanies me to go shopping or travel.
Once, I proposed that I want to go to the beach for a vacation, but Ma Dashan directly refused: "I know how to spend money, and I still have a vacation! Hasn't the house just been renovated, and the money has been spent!"
I was very sad and said, "Didn't you say you were going to take me on a trip when we first got married?
Ma Dashan said impatiently: "It was a scene at that time, and now it is the most practical life." I know a bunch of ideas for spending money!"
Hearing this, tears welled up in my eyes: "Ma Dashan, do you regret marrying me? You now treat me as a burden!"
Ma Dashan saw that I was crying a lot, and his tone softened: "Don't think nonsense, we just have different life concepts, you have to learn to be considerate of me." ”
After this quarrel, I felt more and more that my married life with Ma Dashan could not continue. We are too different in our Xi and values.
One night, Ma Dashan came back drunk again, and I couldn't bear it anymore and decided to formally discuss the divorce with him.
"Ma Dashan, we need to have a good talk, I want to divorce. I plucked up the courage to say.
After hearing this, Ma Dashan instantly sobered up, and said anxiously: "Yulan, you calm down, we can solve the problem slowly, don't be so excited." ”
I shook my head and said, "No, we've tried many things in this time, but the problem can't be solved at all." We just can't get along, it's better to divorce and suffer less sin. ”
Ma Dashan was so anxious that he was sweating profusely, knelt down in front of me and said, "Yulan, I know it's my fault, but give me a chance to correct it, okay? ”
I relented, but I still said firmly, "I've made up my mind." We don't have a common language, we are always arguing over small things, which is not what a healthy marriage should be. Divorce is good for all of us. ”
Ma Dashan's eyes were red, and he held my hand and didn't let go: "Yulan, have you made up your mind to leave me? All these years my feelings for you have been written off like this? If you give me another year, I will definitely be better and no longer embarrass you." ”
Seeing his pleading appearance, I was also heartbroken, but thinking of the unhappiness of all these years, I still shook my head: "I appreciate your feelings for me, but we are really not suitable, don't force it." After the divorce, you can also find someone who is more suitable for you. ”
Ma Dashan burst into tears, but in the end, he still did not redeem my decision. I gave him the divorce agreement and he signed it in a dejected manner.
After signing the divorce, I moved out of my home with Ma Dashan and lived alone. At first, I felt relieved that I no longer had to face those suffocating arguments.
But slowly, I began to reflect on the marriage. Maybe I was too demanding of Ma Dashan at that time, and I didn't fully understand and understand the thoughts of a middle-aged man.
Maybe I'm too him, too demanding. He is also maintaining the marriage in his own way.
I began to reflect that in our quarrels, there were also my problems. I always emphasize my feelings, but ignore Ma Dashan's thoughts. I should have been more reasonable. A person cannot completely change into what we want to be.
"Is Ma Dashan doing well after the divorce?" I couldn't resist asking the colleague.
"His whole body collapsed, and his alcoholism became worse and worse. The colleague shook his head and said.
Hearing this, my heart tugged. It turned out that Ma Dashan really loved me, and the divorce hit him so hard.
I think of the bits and pieces when we first got married, and Ma Dashan's care and concern for me. I really miss that feeling. Is it too late to regret it now?
I thought about it for a long time and decided to take the initiative to contact Ma Dashan to see if I could save this marriage.
I called Ma Dashan, and when he heard my voice, he immediately answered: "Yulan, is that you?
I took a deep breath and said, "Ohyama, can we meet?" I have something I want to say to you in person. ”
When I saw Ma Dashan, my heart was out of rhythm. He had noticeably lost a lot of weight, and his face was tired.
"Dashan, how are you doing lately, have you taken care of yourself?" I couldn't help but ask.
Ma Dashan smiled bitterly: "How can I still have the heart to take care of myself, my mind is full of you." I've had a mess of my life. ”
Ma Dashan looked at me in surprise: "Really? Yulan, are you willing to give it to me?"
I nodded, tears streaming down my face: "I miss you too." It was only during this time that I realized that you had already taken root in my heart. ”
Ma Dashan hugged me excitedly: "I swear that I will change myself this time and will not let you down again! ”
From that day on, we came together again. Ma Dashan did what he said and really got rid of many bad Xi. He also pays more attention to my feelings and often takes me on trips.
I no longer demand that he must meet my standards perfectly, but accept his imperfections.
After getting back together, Ma Dashan and I decided to go to the island for a short vacation to relive our honeymoon time.
The trip was very enjoyable. During the day we would walk by the sea and at night we would watch the stars together on the hotel balcony.
"We used to fight over trivial things, but now that I think about it, it's really not worth it. Ma Dashan said with emotion.
I nodded, "yes, we've missed out on so many good times. Now I can finally cherish every moment with each other. ”
"Magnolia, I will put you on the tip of my heart in the future. Ma Dashan looked me in the eye seriously and said.
"Me too, I will be more understanding and tolerant of you. I replied with a smile.
At this time, the sea breeze blows, and the night sky is full of stars. Ma Dashan and I snuggled quietly together, contented.
After returning home, our lives became more harmonious. Ma Dashan will take the initiative to help me with housework and often give me small surprises.
One night, we cooked a great dinner together. After eating, Ma Dashan mysteriously took out a gift box.
"It's a gift for you, I hope you like it. He said shyly.
I opened it and it was a beautiful diamond necklace!
"Oh my God, this is too precious, you shouldn't be like this!" I'm a little embarrassed.
"You deserve the best, that's what I want for you. Ma Dashan's eyes were full of love.
I was so touched that I gave him a big hug. Now we are like a young couple in love.
Life will inevitably have ups and downs, but as long as we don't forget our original intention and understand each other, we will definitely be able to tide over the difficulties and move towards happiness. I'm glad that our love has finally ushered in spring.