After the age of fifty, our children should be grown up and looking for a partner.
But how to find a golden beetle son-in-law and a virtuous wife requires opportunities and wisdom.
From a practical point of view, many children can't find a partner, or can't successfully enter into marriage, and parents play a "decision-making" role.
As parents, don't be confused, you should move with the camera, and be more positive and less negative about everything about your children, and have more suggestions and less control.
In the following words, confused parents often say that smart parents rot in the stomach.
01
Don't emphasize your three views and ask your children to agree.
From the perspective of age, what parents accept is more "traditional concepts", and the words of some ancestors, kept in mind, have become dogmas.
Children are receiving "education for the new era", which is obviously "incompatible" with the ideas of their parents.
We must keep in mind the truth of "three-year generation ditch".
For example, the statement of "more children and more blessings" is obviously not accurate in today's society. The older generation has no pension and no savings, and needs their children to share the cost of old-age care, if they have seven or eight children, each child gives 100, which is enough.
However, there are more elderly people with pensions nowadays, and there are fewer cases of expecting alimony from their children.
What's more, many families have a lot of trouble because they have many children, and no one is willing to give benefits to the elderly. There are many children, and there are many grievances, but the blessings are not seen.
When the object of your children knows that you have been demanding to "raise several children", or have a patriarchal mentality, they will also retreat.
As long as there is no "very bad character" in the three views of children, parents should agree with them and not go against them.
02
Don't complain about the divorce problem in society, and look more at a beautiful family.
As soon as the old man opened his mouth, he complained that "in society, the divorce rate is very high, and there are a lot of divorced people around me", which will make the children afraid of marriage.
Especially in some families where parents have divorced, don't always complain about how ugly the "ex-husband and ex-wife" is, after all, that's a thing of the past, and it's not worth going over the old accounts.
The "ex-husband" you complain about is the father of your children. You should guide your children and be kind to their fathers. As for the confusion of divorce, it is your own problem to solve the bell and tie the bell.
In the family, the message of "unmarriage, divorce is the best" is to distort social reality and erase the bright future.
03
Don't ask that the "prospective in-laws" are very rich, and don't use high-priced bride prices to block love.
There are always some parents who, before their children find a partner, propose that "if the other party doesn't give 500,000, they won't consider it". Some parents also proposed to find a rich man and get married.
This is a typical money worship, taking the daughter's marriage as a way to get rich.
How many men, because they can't afford to pay the bride price, the marriage process, stops, and then turns around to love another woman who "doesn't worship money".
How many women can't get married because their parents like money, and after falling in love, they fall into a dilemma.
There is no need to talk about "the right family", and the family that asks for children is as rich as their own family.
If you are a local tyrant, how difficult is it to find a son-in-law or daughter-in-law of a local tyrant?
Besides, the daughter of the local tyrant family may not necessarily fall in love with your son.
The best "door-to-door match" is never economic equivalence, but spiritual balance - two young people, progress together, dare to start from scratch.
When bride price is not a problem, the financial pressure on young people is much less. It would be even better if the parents were willing to suffer and help buy a new house.
04
Don't beat your children's criteria for choosing a mate, learn to accept reality.
My neighbor, Uncle Zhang, saw his son Xiao Zhang bring back a short and ugly woman, and immediately commented: "Look at you, who did you find?"
After the woman left, Uncle Zhang added: "Look at the daughter-in-law of Aunt Liu's house next door, she is tall, has a good temperament, and has a regular job;
Xiao Zhang didn't dare to refute his parents' words, so he could only bear it silently, and then broke up with the woman.
As the saying goes: "Turnip and cabbage, each has its own love." ”
Strictly speaking, it is the children who find a partner, not the parents who "choose their daughters-in-law and sons-in-law". The choice of parents is only a suggestion, and the decision is up to the children themselves.
Looking around us, it is not surprising that a man with good facial features has found a disabled woman, and a woman with bad looks has found a handsome man.
Whether the young couple is doing well or not is the inner feeling and sincere love, not living for the "old people".
05
Don't be in a hurry to "report the good news" to your neighbors, relatives and friends, and avoid leaving a laughing stock.
Many old people, like the "tweeters" in the village, are afraid that outsiders will not know about the good things in their own family.
When the children bring the object home, they will immediately take a picture of it and post it on a circle of friends, and they will immediately go to the neighbor's house to tout it.
There are also elderly people who will invite a lot of relatives and friends to come to the party, and accompany their children and children to have a meal together, which is very lively.
Ask yourself, what if your children don't succeed in finding a partner? Isn't it a joke?
Others asked, "So-and-so, when will your son get married?"
You bow your head and reply, "Oh, we've broken up......"
Isn't this shooting yourself in the foot? It's too far-sighted.
What's even more terrifying is that some people know your "prospective daughter-in-law and prospective son-in-law", and they are afraid that there will be good things in your family, so they will get in the way and let the good things become bad things.
People's hearts are separated from the belly, and we have to guard against it. Keep a low profile, talk to outsiders about finding a partner for your children, you have to play dumb riddles, and wait for your children to get married, and then come to report the good news, it's not too late.
06
To guide their children to start a family and start a business, parents should pretend to be confused, and never be really confused.
No matter who the children found, the old man said "good, good, good" as soon as he opened his mouth, affirmed it three times, and then happily went to cook, entertain new guests, future family members, and give small gifts.
Parents spit out the spring breeze in their mouths, there is scenery in their eyes, there is love in their hearts, and the time when their children are looking for a partner, just like spring, leads life and moves forward.
古话说：“嘴是惹祸的苗根。 ”
From now on, keep your mouth shut, throw away your grievances, and keep your blessings.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The pictures in the article come from the Internet.