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My name is Li Wan'er, I am two years old Chinese New Year's Eve today, and I have been married to Zhang Hao of the same age for ten years. Our marriage is like a seemingly calm river with hidden undercurrents, and today is the day when this undercurrent finally erupts.
Today is the golden wedding anniversary of Zhang Hao's parents. The whole family gathered in the old mansion of the Zhang family, and Zhang's mother carefully prepared a sumptuous family banquet. I stood at the door of the kitchen, looking at Zhang's mother's busy back, and my heart was mixed.
"Wan'er, come over and help set the table. Mama Zhang's voice interrupted my thoughts.
I walked over and hurriedly began to set up the dishes. Zhang Hao's sister Zhang Mei came over and looked critically at the tableware I had placed, "Wan'er, your craftsmanship is too bad, look at what you have arranged, it's all crooked." ”
I barely squeezed out a smile, "Sister, I'm not nervous, don't laugh at me." ”
"Nervous? What are you nervous about? Today is not a big day for you and Haohao. Zhang Mei said half-jokingly.
My heart tightened, and I replied with a smirk: "How can it, I mean, today's important day, I'm afraid that I won't do well." ”
Zhang Hao walked over at this time, looked at me and his sister, and frowned slightly, "What are you talking about?"
"No, let's just say that Wan'er's craftsmanship is not good enough. Zhang Mei quipped.
Zhang Hao didn't continue the topic, just turned to me, "Wan'er, we have something to talk about in the evening." ”
I nodded, but my heart was turbulent. Today, I have made a decision to announce my divorce from Zhang Hao at this family gathering.
Dinner began, and in the Zhang family's old house, there was a lot of laughter. Zhang's father and Zhang's mother sat on the main seat, with happy smiles on their faces. But in this joyful atmosphere, I felt more depressed than ever.
"Come, Wan'er, give your parents a toast. Daddy Zhang's voice broke my musings.
I picked up my glass and walked over to Zhang's father and Zhang's mother, but I was thinking about how to speak. I took a deep breath and was about to speak, when suddenly there was a commotion outside the door.
It was Zhang Hao's cousins who came back early, and they came in happily and interrupted me. "Oh, we're back, look, our house is so lively today!"
The atmosphere was alive again, and I could only suppress the words in my heart for the time being.
At the dinner table, Zhang Hao's cousins talked about various hot topics, mixed with some Internet buzzwords from time to time. "Dude, look at the recent hot search, it's crazy. ”
I joined their conversation with a smile on my face, but the pressure on my heart grew. This home
This home is no longer my warm harbor, but a cage from which I must escape.
After the meal, Zhang Hao's cousins proposed to play mahjong, and the atmosphere became more enthusiastic. Zhang Hao glanced at me and seemed to ask if I wanted to join, but I shook my head, I needed to be alone and be quiet.
I walked out to the balcony, and the night breeze was cool, blowing away some of the troubles in my heart. I silently repeated in my mind, I want a divorce, I want a divorce. This simple but firm thought is like a lighthouse in the darkness, guiding me forward.
Suddenly, Zhang Hao walked out, his face a little heavy. He leaned against the railing and looked at me, "Wan'er, can we talk now?"
I nodded, but there was a nervousness in my heart.
"I know that there has been a lot of tension between us lately. Zhang Hao's voice was a little choked, "I've been wondering if I've done something wrong." ”
I shook my head, trying to suppress the emotions in my heart, "No, Haohao, it's not your problem. ”
"What's that?" Zhang Hao looked at me, his eyes full of confusion.
I took a deep breath and was about to speak, but hesitated. I don't know how to say this decision, a decision that could hurt him and his family.
At this moment, Zhang Mei walked out, "Oh, what are you two doing here? ”
Zhang Hao glanced at me, as if begging me to wait. I nodded and followed them back to the living room.
In the evening, the Zhang family went to rest, and Zhang Hao and I sat in the living room, silent with each other. Finally, I mustered up the courage and spoke, "Haohao, I want a divorce." ”
Zhang Hao was stunned, and then a look of disbelief appeared on his face, "Why? Haven't we been good all the time?"
I shook my head, "No, our relationship is only calm on the surface, but deep down there are already turbulent waves. ”
"Did I do something wrong? Could it be that I was too busy with work to take your feelings into account?" asked Zhang Hao anxiously.
I sighed, "Not exactly. Actually, I've felt like I'm stuck in a cage all these years. I need freedom, I need to breathe. ”
Zhang Hao was silent for a while, and then whispered, "Wan'er, I love you, I don't want to lose you." ”
I closed my eyes, my heart full of pain, "I know, I used to love you deeply, but people and feelings are changing. I can't stay here for fear of hurting you. ”
A hint of despair flashed in Zhang Hao's eyes, but he finally nodded, "If this is your decision, I respect it." But can you wait until tomorrow, after the golden wedding anniversary?"
I hesitated, but finally agreed. After all, I don't want to be on such an important day
Add to the chaos, at least give Zhang's father and Zhang's mother a complete celebration.
The next day, the sun poured into the room through the curtains, but my heart felt like a dark cloud. I woke up early and walked alone in the garden, trying to gather my thoughts.
Zhang Hao didn't ask me about last night's topic, he seemed to be trying to maintain a calm state. We were involved in activities at home and helped with clutter, but we didn't communicate with each other much.
After lunch, the elders of the Zhang family began to talk about the family's past, and Zhang's father and Zhang's mother recalled the story of their youth with emotion. I sat on the sidelines and listened to them talk about the hardships and sweetness of the past, and I couldn't help but feel a little emotional.
"You see that we have been stumbling for so many years, although there have been stumbles, but the most important thing is to understand and tolerate each other. Zhang's mother said with emotion.
I bowed my head slightly, but my heart was turbulent. Yes, understanding and tolerance, this is exactly what is missing between me and Zhang Hao.
In the afternoon, Zhang Hao's cousin Xiaogang came to play chess with me, he is a lively and cheerful young man who always brings some joy. "Sister Wan'er, you play chess so well, why can't I always win against you. ”
I smiled in response to his jokes, but my mind was mixed. There were laughter and tears in the days I spent with this family, but in the end, I chose to leave.
In the evening, the family reunion finally ended, and the guests left one after another. Zhang Hao looked at me, and his eyes revealed a kind of reluctance and confusion.
"Wan'er, are we really out of room for redemption?" Zhang Hao's voice was low.
I shook my head, "Haohao, we all need a fresh start, don't we?"
Zhang Hao sighed, "Maybe." I just want you to be happy. ”
I nodded, a sour feeling in my heart. I know that this departure is not only to leave Zhang Hao, but also to leave this home that once gave me warmth.
Early the next morning, I packed my bags and prepared to leave. No one in the Zhang family has gotten up yet, and I don't want to cause any more commotion.
I walked softly out of the room, past the familiar living room, past the table where we had once dined together. Every step I take, my heart is full of memories that turn a thousand times.
I opened the door and was about to leave, when Zhang's mother's voice suddenly sounded behind me, "Wan'er, where are you going?"
I looked back and saw Zhang's mother in her pajamas, her eyes full of worry.
"Mom, I'...... I have to go. "My voice was low, but firm.
Mother Zhang looked at me, a trace of sadness flashed in her eyes, "It's because of what you said last night...... Divorce?"
I
nodded, with tears in his eyes, "Yes, Mom, Haohao and I have decided to divorce." ”
Mother Zhang's face showed a look of disbelief, she walked over and held my hand tightly, "Wan'er, are you sure this is what you two want?
I shook my head gently, the pain in my heart that made me almost speechless, "Mom, I know this is sudden for you guys, but this is a deliberate decision of ours. The problems between us can no longer be solved by simple communication. ”
Mother Zhang looked at me, her eyes were full of sadness, "Wan'er, you are in this family, we all treat you as if you were our own daughter." We are really reluctant to let you leave so suddenly. ”
I felt the truth in Zhang's mother's words, and my heart was even more mixed, "Mom, I am also very grateful for the care you have taken care of me over the years, and I also regard this place as my home." However, the problem between me and Hao Hao can only be solved by ourselves. ”
Mother Zhang was silent for a moment, and then sighed softly, "Then I respect your decision." I only hope you can be happy in the future. ”
I bowed deeply, my heart filled with gratitude, "Thank you, Mom, I will." ”
I turned around and walked out of the door of Zhang's house with heavy steps. Walking on the familiar streets, every step is like stepping through a scar in my heart.
I came to the bus stop and was ready to take the bus to leave the city. In the process of waiting for the bus, I recalled the bits and pieces with Zhang Hao. The laughter and tears, the quarrels and reconciliations, all seemed to be yesterday.
When the bus finally came, I got on the bus with my luggage and sat down by the window. The scenery outside the car window flashed by, and I knew that a new chapter in my life would also begin.
I leaned my head against the window and closed my eyes. Although there is endless sadness and reluctance in my heart, it is more about the expectation and hope for the future.
I know that leaving the Zhang family and leaving Zhang Hao is not the end of life, but a new beginning. I want to learn to be independent and learn to face all the challenges in life.
As the car slowly drove away from the city, I silently said to myself in my heart that no matter how difficult the road ahead was, I would go on bravely.
The bus stopped at a small stop and several passengers boarded. I opened my eyes and saw a middle-aged woman sitting across from me. She looked at me with a smile and a warmth and understanding in her eyes.
"Miss, you seem to be preoccupied. She whispered.
I nodded and didn't say anything more. But in my heart, I was grateful for her concern.
"No matter what happens, believe that life will always bring you new opportunities. "She
Said softly.
I looked at her and felt an indescribable comfort, "Thank you, I'll remember." ”
As the bus continued to move forward, the scenery outside the window changed, and my thoughts drifted away. I thought about my future life, and I thought about the stories that had not yet been written.
Once I arrived at my destination, I got off the bus and stepped onto a new street. People come and go on the streets, and everyone has their own story and their own destination. I took a deep breath and felt the air of freedom, filled with new hope.
I found a small hotel and was going to stay here for a while. The room was small but clean and warm, which made me feel a little relieved.
I opened my suitcase and began to organize my belongings. Everything carries memories of the past, and every photo records the time of the past. I laid them out one by one, sat on the edge of my bed, and began to plan my future.
Perhaps, I can find a new job and start a new life. Perhaps, I can learn some new skills Xi enrich myself. The possibilities in life are limitless, and I have to be brave enough to explore and discover.
That night, I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, with a lot of thoughts. When I think of Zhang Hao and the Zhang family, I can't help but feel a little sad in my heart. But I know that it all has to be experienced.
I closed my eyes and prayed silently in my heart, hoping that Zhang Hao and his family would be happy. At the same time, I also pray for my future and hope to find my own happiness.
The next day, I started my new life. I got a job at a nearby café that wasn't very high-paying, but it was enough to support me.
Working at a café has exposed me to a wide variety of people. Some people are busy and fulfilling, while others are laid-back and comfortable. I found my place in these crowds and felt a different way of life.
Outside of work, I also started to participate in some interest groups and made some new friends. They are all people who love life and are positive. Together, we share small stories from our lives and explore the possibilities of the future together.
I am gradually starting to adapt to this new way of life, and the wounds in my heart are slowly healing. I know that life doesn't stop because of a failure, but rather becomes more colorful.
As time went by, I found my place in this new city. I started to learn Xi new things and broaden my horizons. I started to take on new challenges and experience a different life.
I know that there is still a long way to go in life, and there are still many unknowns waiting for me. But I am no longer afraid, because I have learned how to face, how to love, how to live.
At this new starting point, I make a promise to myself: no matter what the road holds
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