's father died of illness, and his only daughter, Zhou Yujiang, took on the funeral responsibility
My 75-year-old father suddenly fell ill on a cold winter morning and was diagnosed with a cerebral hemorrhage. When Zhou Yujiang received the call and rushed to the hospital, his father had already passed away.
As an only daughter, Zhou Yujiang must take on the responsibility of burying her father.
At the first time, Zhou Yujiang's heart was not sad, but a relief and relief. She had seen too many old people who had been struggling in hospital beds for many years because of their illness, and her father was lucky enough to leave without experiencing long-term pain.
What's more, my father is 75 years old, he is already in his prime, he has lived long enough and lived a full life.
After his mother passed away five years ago, Zhou Yujiang took his father into his home and let him enjoy all aspects of city life. She also reciprocated the love her parents gave her to the best of her ability.
So for her father's departure, she was very calm and didn't feel too sad. She was just thinking that it would be a blessing for a person to reach the end of his life and be able to die in a daze with little pain.
The accident struck, and relatives and friends went to the empty building
The funeral is not simple, and many relatives and friends need to be contacted. Zhou Yujiang first called the sixth uncle, the most senior in the clan, and asked him to notify relatives and friends in the village to come to the funeral.
The sixth uncle shook his head and said that the young people now are basically going out to work, and there are only seventy or eighty old people left in the village, and there are not many people invited.
Zhou Yujiang was a little surprised, in his memory, his mother's funeral was still lively, and there were more than a dozen relatives and friends who came to help with the funeral. As soon as the sixth uncle said this, she realized that the rural population had changed so much.
The people who were familiar with me before seem to have disappeared, and they are scattered all over the world.
According to the analysis of the sixth uncle, the young man may think that her daughter has already married and will not come back to inherit the incense in the future, so he will not come to help. Hearing this, a wave of disappointment and helplessness rose in Zhou Yujiang's heart.
It turns out that as a daughter, in this traditional environment, she is so embarrassed and discriminated against.
In addition, Zhou Yujiang also made a special call to contact three old relatives, hoping that they could come to mourn his father. What is surprising and sad is that all three of them refused for various reasons without exception, without even a little mourning and support.
Everywhere hit a wall, and hired workers to complete the burial of their father
The refusal of the three old relatives made Zhou Yujiang deeply disappointed and sad. One of the cousins just passed away last year, and the father also sent a memorial payment of 400 yuan, but when he needed the support of others a year later, the other party seemed to have completely forgotten this kindness.
It seems that it is impossible to rely on traditional nostalgia and kinship, and Zhou Yujiang can only find another way. With the help of her sixth uncle, she hired a group of construction workers from a neighboring village to complete the excavation of the tomb and the burial of her father's urn.
The weather was very cold on the day of the burial, and there was only a cold wind in the cemetery. There were only three people in the funeral procession: Zhou Yujiang, her husband and son, and the sixth uncle who was in charge of the ceremony.
The whole process was terrifyingly cold, and her heart was extremely desolate.
As she watched her father's urn slowly fall into the tomb and sink into the earth under the operation of a few strange workers, she finally couldn't hold back her tears. She remembered her father's warm hands when she was a child, and remembered the bits and pieces of her father's life for her.
He treats people sincerely, accumulates virtue and does good, but he is so bleak at the last moment.
Zhou Yujiang understood that if she was the father's son and not the daughter, it would definitely not be such a scene. My father's funeral will be a grand and solemn ceremony, and all family and friends will come to mourn.
However, she is a daughter and cannot afford this heavy responsibility to complete the final road for her father.
At this moment, all the words that her father had told her in the past were clear. Why parents always want to have children at all costs is such a cruel result of the traditional concept of patriarchy.
After experiencing his father's cold and hasty funeral, Zhou Yujiang has a deeper and more thorough understanding of the deep roots of patriarchy. It turned out that the father wanted to give birth to a son at any cost before his death, not because he didn't value his daughter, but because he was worried about the helplessness and pain that his daughter endured in this cold and realistic environment.
As a daughter, Zhou Yujiang can't handle the funeral matters that traditional men need to bear. These heavy tasks require physical strength, networking, and execution, all of which women do not have.
Only then did she realize that her father's entrustment before his death was not groundless, but out of concern for his daughter's suffering.
Seeing the ruthlessness of the three relatives of the clan, she also understood why her father had to make a big guest during his lifetime and leave favors everywhere. It's not to show that the family is broad, but to hope that when you encounter an unbearable responsibility in the future, you can rely on it.
However, the reality is so cruel that it all fell short in the end.
The natural law of birth, old age, sickness and death, let go of the knot and look forward
Although the funeral made Zhou Yujiang sad and sad, but when she calmed down, she also understood that birth, old age, sickness and death were such laws, and there was no need to be troubled because of this.
As a parent, it is also a blessing to be able to live to the age of antiquity and go where it can go without too much pain.
She let go of her heart and decided that as long as she remembered the kindness of her parents before her death, she would not care about anything else. After all, blood is thicker than water, and it is impossible for her to be as knowledgeable as these relatives who only value practical gain.
Since they ignored her father's kindness, she didn't have to deal with them anymore.
Look a little away, maybe that's a good thing. Wouldn't it save her a lot of trouble in the future, and she didn't need to pay back any gifts, and she didn't have to be vain and wronged. All she has to do is to raise her family well and be with her family.
For parents, it is the greatest relief to be able to see their daughter still living happily under the Yellow Spring.
Traditions may change, and recommended countermeasures
Although the traditional concept of preference for sons still affects many families, it is foreseeable that this environment will change as society progresses and the status of women increases.
At that time, as a daughter, she will be able to better assume social responsibilities such as funerals.
For now, however, it is necessary to plan ahead. For example, actively participate in insurance for funeral services in case of emergency; Strengthen one's own capacity financially and reduce dependence on assistance from others; Choose friends who understand and support women's rights as social circles, etc.
If everyone can start from themselves, I believe that the influence of this traditional concept can be gradually eliminated, so that more women can also take on heavy responsibilities as confidently and courageously as men, and no longer have cowardice and inferiority complex.