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My name is Li Fengying and I am 72 years old this year. As a retired nurse, I feel like I've contributed my whole life to this society. But now that my children have grown up, my life is not happy.
I was born into an ordinary family, and my family was poor when I was a child, but my parents loved me and my younger siblings very much. After graduating from high school, I enrolled in a nursing school. At that time, Xi and life were very difficult, but I persevered and obtained a nurse's license.
After work, I was assigned to the emergency department of a large hospital. Caring for many patients every day, sometimes on night shifts, is a very intense and stressful job. I remember once having to take care of an elderly man with terminal cancer, who didn't have much time left, but was still hopeful about life. It touched me so much that from then on, I was determined to use my own hands to help everyone in need.
In this way, I worked until I retired. As a nurse, I had the most meaningful time of my life. I feel like I've done something very worthwhile.
After I retired, I moved in with my daughter's family. The daughter is married and has children and has her own family and career. I thought that my old age would be full and happy, but I didn't expect it to be otherwise.
One day, I went to my daughter's house to visit them as usual.
"Mom, you're here. We're about to go out, and you look at the house. There are meals in the fridge that you eat hot as soon as you heat them up. My daughter hurriedly said hello to me and went out.
I stood in the doorway, watching her back as she left, and a sense of loss suddenly welled up in my heart.
I had lunch alone at my daughter's house and then sat alone in the living room watching TV. A travel show is playing on TV, and the host is leading a group of young people on an island. I looked at their happy appearance, and I felt a little envious in my heart.
At this moment, the phone rang suddenly, which startled me. I hurried to pick it up, and it turned out to be my son's call.
"Hey, Mom, I've been working overtime for the past two days, and I won't go home for dinner at night. You sort out the dinner yourself. By the way, don't forget to help me pay my utility bill this month. The son instructed on the phone.
"Okay, got it. You have to pay attention to your body at work. I whispered.
After hanging up, I sat where I was, unable to calm down for a long time. My son hadn't spoken to me properly in a long time, he was always in a hurry, and I could feel that he didn't care about my feelings.
At this time, it dawned on me that my life seemed to have entered a new phase. My children have grown up and have their own lives, but I have become a burden in their lives.
I began to wonder if I was too concerned and caring for them that they didn't take me seriously anymore, or were they too busy to take my feelings as an old man?
I called my daughter, "Hey, Mom, what's wrong?"
"It's nothing, I just wanted to ask where you went. ”
"Oh, my husband and I took the kids to the playground. Mom, are you okay at home alone?"
"It's okay, you guys have fun. ”
I hung up the phone, still feeling a little sad. When my daughter was young, I was the closest person to her. Now that she has a family of her own, I'm an outsider.
This feeling of being abandoned by the times is really uncomfortable. I began to think about how I could make my old age more fulfilling and meaningful.
"Huh, I'm going to take my kids to swimming lessons this weekend, so I don't have time to go to the park with you. Mom, take a taxi yourself, don't go too far, be careful and safe. The daughter said hurriedly.
My heart sank again. My daughter obviously doesn't have the time or energy to spend time with me. I had to think of other ways to make my life more fulfilling.
I started trying to sign up for some senior activities, such as singing and dancing, hoping to meet more of my peers. But I found myself not very interested. The topics we talked about were too trivial to excite me.
Later, I tried to teach myself painting and crafting, but I couldn't last long. I found that what my heart really longed for was to go out and see the world, not to be trapped within these four walls.
So I made up my mind to go on a trip. I started subscribing to travel magazines and researching the local customs. I approached my daughter with the idea of going on a trip.
"Mom, how dangerous it is for you to travel as an old man! If you want me to say, you just stay at home honestly. When the daughter heard this, she objected.
When the tour bus drove out of the city and came to the outskirts, I couldn't help but look out the window. The fields, rivers and green hills that I haven't seen for a long time make me feel extremely open and free.
"Little sister, are you traveling alone?" The aunt in the next seat asked me with a smile.
"yes, I've wanted to come out and have a look since I retired. I said shyly.
"Oh, that's great! We're missing a partner. Auntie said happily.
It turned out that the aunt was also traveling alone. Her husband had been dead for many years, and her children were independent, and she, like me, wanted to come out and see the world.
I happily chatted with my aunt. She also introduced me to other elderly people in the tour. I found that they all had similar experiences to me, but they all seemed to have learned how to enjoy life actively.
The tour group came to the old town of Lijiang. We walked along the bluestone paved road and visited the ancient temples. The early morning sunlight shining on the red walls of the tiled house is beautiful. I felt joy and satisfaction that I hadn't felt in a long time.
"We're getting old, and we're finally able to live our own lives. Auntie said with emotion.
I nodded. Indeed, old age can be wonderful, as long as I take the initiative to explore and experience.
My heart sank again. I tried to explain my thoughts to my daughter: "Mom just wants to go out and see and live the life she wants." You and your son are also busy, and you don't have time to spend with your mother, and it's boring for your mother to be at home alone. ”
"Mom, we're here for your good. It's so dangerous outside, can you take care of yourself as an old man? "My daughter is very resolute.
Again, I am disappointed. But I know that I have found meaning in my later years. I can't give up.
In the Forbidden City, I was lost in the ancient buildings, as if I had traveled back hundreds of years. These precious cultural relics have witnessed the long and splendid history of the Chinese nation, and I feel enthusiastic and full of pride.
"Mom, why are you traveling again?" My daughter received my call in a somewhat unhappy tone.
"This time, my mother went to Beijing, saw many historical and cultural relics, and felt the greatness of the Chinese nation. "I tried to explain it to my daughter.
"Beijing is so far away, how dangerous it is for you to go to an old man's house! If you want me to say, don't you go, wouldn't it be nice to stay at home in peace?" My daughter still doesn't understand me.
I knew it would take a process to change my daughter's mind. So I continued my journey, hoping to inspire her with my own experiences.
At the Great Wall, I saw the winding walls disappear into the mountains in the distance. This Great Wall is the crystallization of the wisdom of the Chinese nation and has witnessed China's long history. Standing on the city wall and looking into the distance, I felt like a free wild goose, flying over the undulating mountains and heading into the distance.
I have been to many places, and everywhere I go, I can broaden my horizons and make my mood more cheerful. These trips have allowed me to find meaning in life, and I seem to be back to being as positive and loving life as I was when I was younger.
Gradually, my daughter noticed the change in me. One day, she suddenly said to me, "Mom, you seem to be in good spirits lately." Wouldn't it be too hard to travel a lot?"
I was pleased to find that my daughter's attitude was changing slightly. So I excitedly talked to her about what I saw and felt, and how happy I was when I traveled.
The daughter was silent after hearing this, and after a while, she said, "Mom, I seem to be able to understand your thoughts now." You love to travel, and that allows you to find meaning in life. As long as you're happy. However, you should be safe. ”
I shook my daughter's hand excitedly, tears in my eyes. I know that my daughter has finally accepted my decision to pursue her own life. This has given me a lot of encouragement, and I will continue to work hard to live a wonderful old age.
Since then, I have been traveling regularly and sharing what I have seen with my daughter. My daughter has gradually supported me in my pursuit of a meaningful old age.
Once I went to Zhangjiajie, standing on the glass plank road, slowly walking among the misty mountains, I felt like I was walking on the clouds, in close contact with nature. This kind of serenity of isolation is exactly what my heart yearns for.
"Mom, the glass plank road is so high, don't walk too long, pay attention to safety. "When I showed my daughter the picture, she said with concern.
"Don't worry, Mom only moves in a safe area. This trip made my mother feel the magnificence of nature. I said mildly.
The daughter nodded, her eyes full of understanding. Little by little, I know that the gap between us is being bridged.
I also invite my daughter to go out on trips with her family. We went on a couple of day trips around the area and both daughter and grandchildren had a great time. This makes our feelings more intimate.
Once, our family went to the beach. My grandchildren and I frolicked on the beach and picked up shells. The sea at sunset is sparkling and stunning. My daughter also took off her shoes and frolicked in the waves with us.
"Mom, thank you for letting our family come here to play. It dawned on me that the most precious thing in life is this simple family time. That evening, my daughter suddenly said to me.
I hugged my daughter with relief. We finally re-established our close mother-daughter relationship.
I started to take the initiative to participate in the life of my daughter's family, helping with household chores and taking care of my grandchildren. My son is also busy with work, so I will help him share some of the family responsibilities. I felt like I was being needed again.
I feel happier and more fulfilled right now. I found my own life and rebuilt my relationship with my children. I will continue to live positively and enjoy every moment of my life.
I started to take the initiative to participate in volunteer activities in the community and met many like-minded elderly friends. We will work together to do public welfare and help more people in need.
One day, the community organized us to volunteer at an orphanage. I hugged a cute little girl and told her stories and sang nursery rhymes. Looking at her innocent smiling face, my heart was filled with warmth.
"Grandma, when are you coming to see me?" The little girl reluctantly said goodbye to me.
"Grandma will be coming to see you soon!" I replied softly, but I secretly wept in my heart.
"Mom, you seem to be in a good mood today. When I got home, my daughter said to me with a smile.
"Yes, Mom went to volunteer at the orphanage, and when I saw those lovely children, I felt that I was still very useful. I said happily.
The daughter nodded: "Mom, I'm so pleased that you are living so fully now." Continue to take care of your body and live happily. ”
I hugged my daughter with emotion. Being able to help others makes my life more meaningful.
Now, I regularly go to orphanages or nursing homes to volunteer. Although I can't change all the misfortunes, I can at least bring them a little warmth and hope. It also made me feel the value of life.
Sometimes I bring my granddaughter with me. She would perform her talents for the orphans and bring them laughter.
Once, we performed a talent show for the children in the orphanage. The children in the audience were very happy to watch.
"Grandma, you're amazing!" After the performance, my granddaughter said to me happily.
I know that through these volunteer services, I have not only helped others, but also infected my granddaughter and taught her to care for others. I feel that my life is becoming richer and more complete.
Now I am finally living the life I want. I hope to pass on this positive and optimistic attitude towards life to more people.
I was moved to tears. I know that my life is complete and that my story will inspire many more.